


I Am Steven Universe

by Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer



Series: Renegades (Steven Universe: Homeworld AU) [18]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Badass Steven Universe, Battle, Battlefield, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Completed, Explosions, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Finished, Five Stages of Grief, Gem Fusion, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I Am My Mom Gone Wrong, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Memory Loss, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury, Major Character Injury, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Character Death, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Non-binary character, Past Brainwashing, Past Character Death, Past Memory Loss, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Renegades Steven Universe AU, Reunions, Shattering - Freeform, Steven Universe Has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Trans Character, Violence, War, War Trauma, bamf Steven universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 94,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28551267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer/pseuds/Lucigoosey_The_Lightbringer
Summary: Things were looking up, getting better. So Steven couldn't really explain why he suddenly felt so drained, like he felt like just crawling into bed and curling up under his blanket and not coming out for a week, why he had such a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.| Post-IARQ (I Am Rose Quartz.)
Relationships: Amethyst & Greg Universe, Amethyst & Original Gem Character(s) (Steven Universe), Amethyst & Peridot (Steven Universe), Amethyst & Steven Universe, Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Bismuth & Original Gem Character(s) (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond & Pink Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond & Steven Universe, Blue Diamond & White Diamond & Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Blue Diamond & Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran & Doug Maheswaran, Connie Maheswaran & Priyanka Maheswaran, Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Doug Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Doug Maheswaran/Priyanka Maheswaran, Garnet & Original Gem Character(s) (Steven Universe), Garnet & Peridot (Steven Universe), Garnet & Steven Universe, Greg Universe & Steven Universe, Lars Barriga & Off Colors, Lars Barriga & Sadie Miller, Lars Barriga & Steven Universe, Lars Barriga/Sadie Miller, Off Colors & Steven Universe, Pearl & Greg Universe, Pearl & Original Gem Character(s) (Steven Universe), Pearl & Peridot (Steven Universe), Pearl & Pink Diamond (Steven Universe), Pearl & Steven Universe, Peridot & Original Gem Character(s) (Steven Universe), Peridot & Pumpkin (Steven Universe), Peridot & Steven Universe, Pink Steven Universe & Steven Universe, Priyanka Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Pumpkin & Steven Universe, Spinel & Steven Universe, Spinel (Steven Universe) & Original Character(s), Steven Universe & Original Gem Character(s), Steven Universe & White Diamond, Steven Universe & Yellow Diamond, Stevonnie & Ronaldo
Series: Renegades (Steven Universe: Homeworld AU) [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918204
Comments: 443
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for switching back to past tense I'm sorry I wasn't vibing with present tense anymore don't hate me pls-  
> XDDDD
> 
> But... it's finally here. The one we've all been waiting for.  
> I hope you guys are prepared for this.  
>  _Lord knows I'm not._

Steven watched, every muscle in his body rigid with tension, as the ship landed ahead.

For a moment, it was like being in another place, another time, another person. It was recognition and nostalgia and confusion and fear. For a moment, he wondered whether he should be expecting who he's expecting at that moment, because he remembered being in a similar situation not long ago with this very ship in front of him, and he'd been taken by surprise once the doors had hissed open. Now he felt sick, like he was waiting for the punchline of some cruel joke, as the ship settled into the sand. He couldn't take his gaze off of it, hearing Nanafua trying to usher the humans to safety. Kofi was dragging Jenny and Kiki away, although they were both trying to fight their way through the terrified crowd. Buck wasn't moving, standing still as he stared at the ship. Sour Cream had scooped Onion up and was making a run for it, understandably. Jamie wasn't even there anymore. Barbara was trying to get Sadie to leave, but the blonde human was stubbornly staying put, eyes fixed dead on the ship as it finally stopped.

Steven stared, scythe in hand, then swept his gaze toward Berry. The Ruby briefly met his eyes, a knowing expression on her face, and Steven broke away from Peedee and Connie and Greg and the other gems to make his way over to her, Lemon Lime, Candy and Clementine. Pearl called after him, somewhat frantically, but Steven ignored her for the time being - he had to. He didn't have the time to explain to her that everything was okay. He didn't even know if it was okay. But he did know he needed to be beside his new friends right now. "Berry, do you think-?"

"I don't know," Berry admitted, summoning her knuckles. She blew on them, a sharp burst of smoke escaping her lips, and the knuckles lit with flames at once. "Be ready just in case."

"Peedee!" Steven heard Mr. Fryman yell in the distance. "Get over here!"

Steven dared to look over. Peedee's gaze sought him out, wide and scared and worried.

They stared at each other for a moment before Steven rounded on the ship again, tense once more, when the doors hissed open. Connie rushed back over toward him, followed quickly by Garnet and Amethyst, while Pearl briefly turned away to usher Greg back when he tried to follow. Steven simply kept his eyes on the ship, heart pounding frantically, until it opened and that familiar, tall, lanky pink figure stepped out, donning the same torn cape Steven had seen him wearing the last time they'd been in the same place together, face to face as… enemies. Steven paused for a moment, sweeping his gaze over his old friend slowly before lifting his eyes back to Lars' face. There was shock, there was relief, there was some unreadable emotion…

"It's you," Berry sighed, knuckles diminishing. Clementine was quick to send her mallet away, and Lemon Lime and Candy diminished their bow and fan-blades respectively immediately. Lars glanced at them briefly, and Steven tensed a little, remembering how hostile he'd been toward them last time, but it didn't take long for Lars' gaze to fall on him again, looking confused now.

"Steven?"

"Lars," Steven greeted hesitantly.

" _Lars!"_ Sadie's voice broke through the silence, and before anyone could react, she had pulled away from Barbara and made a mad dash for the pink human. It didn't take long for Lars to realize what was going on, nor did it take him long to rush forward to meet her, all hesitance and confusion gone as the two crashed into each other. Sadie was crying, relieved sobs breaking through the air as she hugged Lars around the neck tightly, practically clinging to him. And he held her up easily, shushing her as he buried his face into her hair, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Despite himself, despite everything, Steven slowly allowed himself to relax again. He flexed his fingers around the handle of his scythe, kneading it gently, then let it disperse.

He had… a lot of mixed feelings regarding Lars. On one hand, he knew the human had just been trying to help him back then. Truthfully, looking back on it now, Steven couldn't remember why he'd even reacted as strongly as he had, why he'd even resorted to _attacking_ his friend. The more he thought about it, the more he realized, heart sinking, that the brainwashing and trauma that had been instilled in him on Homeworld had taken effect long before Lapis' shattering. But then, he also remembered, Lars had been with the rebels. He'd _joined_ them.

_("But they told me they'd help me find you-")_

… and Steven supposed maybe… maybe he could understand that too.

"So we're not in a fight," Bismuth whispered to Pearl, who shook her head quickly, and the rainbow-haired gem shifted her hammer-hands back to normal with a somewhat awkward smile. Steven stayed where he was, honestly not knowing what to do, as Lars finally put Sadie down.

"I'm so glad you're okay! Steven told me you'd died and he brought you back to life and then you-" She stopped, suddenly, blinking at him, then blurted out, "what are you, a space pirate?"

Lars' gaze darted toward Steven for a second, then back to Sadie. "Ah… yeah." He offered her a smile, looking almost proud, looking almost like the cocky, stubborn Lars Steven had known, and to be honest, the hybrid wanted nothing more than to rush forward just as Sadie had, to throw his arms around Lars and apologize for attacking him, to make amends. But he stayed put. He didn't know why, but he couldn't force himself to move right then. "Pretty cool, right?"

Sadie giggled, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. "Yeah, it's awesome."

Lars grinned at her briefly, then paused. "Oh- right. Uh, you guys can come out now!" He called over his shoulder, turning back to the ship, and Steven lifted his head slightly, alert once more. Not scared, however - no, he remembered the off-colors, too, and they'd been rather sweet. He hadn't even seen them during the battle, hadn't even been sure if they'd been in the ship with Lars in the first place. It was rather relieving now, however, to know they'd all escaped Homeworld safely; even if they'd joined the rebels to do so, Steven was just glad to know that they were okay, and alive. He glanced back down at Lars, then back up at the ship, curious.

"Are you sure?" Rhodonite was the first to poke her head out, nervous. "Is it safe?" Berry gasped beside him, a soft but silent sound, and Garnet's neutral expression steadily morphed into a smile as the fusion stepped into view. Steven couldn't help but smile a little bit, himself - but he certainly couldn't wait to see how they reacted when they saw Fluorite. He stayed silent, watching Lars reassure Rhodonite that it was, indeed, safe. Padparadscha was the next to follow, happily skipping after Rhodonite with a bright, peaceful, innocent smile on her face.

"I predict we've finally arrived!" The orange Sapphire exclaimed. "Earth! How exciting!"

To Steven's surprise, Lars smiled fondly down at the gem before turning away again.

The Rutile twins were next. They looked around, then at each other, then looked around again, shock and excitement flitting across their faces. Fluorite squeezed herself out after them quickly (well, as quickly as she could, Steven knew), and Berry went absolutely rigid beside him. He'd told her about them, but he knew descriptions wouldn't do justice. Not for Berry. It soothed some of the anxiety and shame that had started curling in the hybrid's chest, seeing how excited she was. Garnet seemed equally excited, as Amethyst had to grab onto her arm to keep her back while Pearl covered her mouth to keep the fusion from screaming. Steven couldn't help but huff out a laugh, albeit a quiet one, before he turned back to the ship again, expecting it to close.

What he wasn't expecting was for three more gems to exit. The first one was a Ruby - Steven could practically feel Berry's excitement dissolve all at once as she hopped out of the ship with a huge, excited grin on her face, looking around with wide eyes. "Oh this… is… _awesome!"_

Next followed… a gem Steven didn't think he'd ever seen before. She was blue, her hair pale white. Her eyes were wide - and he noticed something, peculiar, as she stepped forward only to inch closer to the Ruby that had stepped out, reaching out to grab onto her arm timidly as she glanced around. He noticed that her gem was in her left eye; not like Eyeball, not replacing where her eye should have been, but inside her eye, like a pupil. He couldn't help but stare for a moment until the next gem followed, this one definitely not like any one he'd ever seen before.

She was pink, a heart-shaped gem settled on her chest. The odd thing was that it was rotated upside down. She stepped out of the ship carefully, pigtails bouncing, and stood beside Lars.

Pearl stiffened, her hand snapping away from Garnet's mouth to cover her own instead. Berry's gaze went back to the pale gem in an instant, and this time, when that odd, usually unreadable look flashed across the Ruby's face, Steven realized all at once what it was and what it meant. Suspicion. It was suspicion. Not distrust, not quite, but _suspicion._ She thought something was up. Which meant that, beyond a doubt, something was up - and he'd need to talk to her later.

For now, he turned back to the others while Sadie looked at the gems curiously, then back up at Lars, who looked like he was doing a quick headcount of them all. "Who're your friends?"

Lars hummed, satisfied that everyone was there, and pressed his hand to the panel beside the door on the ship to close it. "Sadie, meet Rhodonite, Fluorite, Padparadscha, the Rutile twins, Spinel, Poppy, and Aqua." He pointed to each gem as he spoke, ending with the pink gem, the Ruby and the blue gem respectively, and the last one shrank away at once when Sadie looked at her, hiding behind the Ruby as much as was possible despite her size. Lars paused, hand midair, and pulled it back with a somewhat sheepish smile as he shrugged. "They're kinda shy."

 _They're._ Steven caught that, and judging by the way Lemon Lime twitched, he did too.

"Well, it's nice to meet all of you!" Sadie said enthusiastically, and Rhodonite offered her a somewhat hesitant smile in response, eyes darting around rapidly. Then, all too quickly, her gaze rested on Steven, and the hybrid froze for a few seconds before relaxing once again.

Padparadscha gasped, clasping her hands over her cheeks. "It's the 'Sadie'!"

"Steven?!"

"Wait, is that Steven?"

"Steven?"

"Steven…" Fluorite's eyes widened, slowly, "you're… alright…"

Steven cracked a smile back at them, taking a deep breath to steel himself before walking forward. He glanced at Lars briefly as he approached, watching him carefully for any signs of hostility or discomfort, but all he found was confusion and concern when he met his gaze again. He slowed his pace a little when Aqua shrunk further behind the Ruby - Poppy - and offered them a gentler smile before he turned his attention back to the others and came to a stop. "Yeah, I'm alright. It's good to see you guys again," he added softly, glancing them over carefully. He looked down at Padparadscha, still with that innocent, oblivious smile on her face, then looked over at Lars as he continued quietly, "and I'm glad you see you're all oka-"

"Steven?!" Padparadscha shrieked, cutting him off, and Steven winced, but chuckled.

"-okay," he finished, looking down at the orange gem. "Hi, Padparadscha."

"What happened to you? What did the Diamonds do to you?!" Rhodonite squeaked, walking toward him. Steven stiffened slightly, just for a second, as she approached him, but she thankfully had the sense not to touch him, tugging at her own hair as she stared at him.

"You look different," one of the Rutile twins spoke.

The other added, "did they hurt you?"

Steven gazed at them for a long moment, silent, then inclined his head in a careful, brief nod. "Um… yeah, kinda. Mostly just…" He stopped after a moment, running his tongue over his lips. They'd just gotten back, they definitely didn't need to hear all of this. So he didn't finish, just smiled hesitantly at them before turning away once more and shifting his focus to the other three, the new gems. "Anyway, it's nice to meet you. I'm Steven," he introduced himself quickly. Poppy grinned and waved a hand at him, looking distracted by the lights littering the beach. Aqua, however, couldn't seem to take their gaze off of him, and he watched their white hair slowly start to change shade, much to his surprise, turning from white to a pale grey color. He stared, mouth half-open in surprise, then snapped it shut and blinked. "Okay, that's really cool."

Aqua blinked, then smiled, and their hair changed shade again - this time turning a bright, sunshine yellow. He had a feeling he knew that that one meant, and he couldn't help but smile slightly in response despite himself. "Thank you." Their voice was quiet, soft and cautious, and Steven couldn't keep his smile from widening into a brief grin, glancing back at the other two.

Spinel looked at him curiously, an odd expression on her face. Now that he was closer, he could see thin black lines stretching down her face underneath both of her eyes; they didn't reach to her chin - they didn't really go past her nose, actually - but he couldn't help but wonder over them for a moment. Maybe it was just stripes, kind of like a Jasper? He'd never met a gem like her before. After a moment, she moved forward and offered her hand to him, offering a smile. He hesitated a little, briefly, before reaching out to take it. "A pleasure to meet'cha, Steven!"

The hybrid paused a little, taken aback by her sudden energy and excitement, but he cracked a grin nonetheless. "Pleasure's all mine. Spinel, right? Which makes you… Poppy," he added, looking back at the Ruby, who finally turned back to him, her excited grin returning full force.

"Yeah, yeah. Pleasure to meet you and all that. Quick question-" She pointed toward Berry, who was alternating between looking fondly at the fusions and glaring at Poppy, "who's that?"

"That…" Steven looked over and smirked at Berry briefly. "Is Berry."

Berry froze, but seemingly not for the reason he initially thought. As soon as he said the name, Spinel's head whipped around in the Ruby's direction, and her eyes went wide. She pulled her hand away from Steven's, but only to turn around and cup them around her own mouth to yell out to the Ruby, despite Berry not really being that far away from where they were standing - although, looking back over and noticing that the Ruby seemed to be frantically retreating now, perhaps it was somewhat understandable. "Berry?! Berry the Ruby?! Is it really you?!"

"No!" Berry yelled back, but it was too late. With a laugh, Steven watched as Spinel's arms stretched out, coiling like sprinks briefly only to lunge straight for the Ruby, her arms wrapping and looping around the little red gem like pink noodles trapping her in place, and the hybrid couldn't keep himself from bursting into giggles at the horrified look that crossed Berry's face only moments before Spinel launched herself forward, pulling herself toward Berry for a hug.

He watched until Lars suddenly made his way to the hybrid's side, speaking up. "So…" Admittedly, he jumped and flinched a little at first, startled, but he relaxed again after a moment upon realizing who it was. "You made it back to Earth after all, huh? What changed your mind?" The pink human asked him quietly, and Steven couldn't help but smile a little, shaking his head.

"They did," he admitted quietly, staring at his friends for a moment before turning away again. Without his limb enhancers, he had to tilt his head back a little to look up at Lars completely, though it wasn't nearly as difficult to do as it used to be. He stared for a moment, eyes fixing on the scar resting just over Lars' eye. The others he remembered had long faded, but that one still remained, permanently marked on his body, a constant reminder of what had happened to him. Steven shivered a little despite himself, lowering his head. "Lars… about what happened, I…" He trailed off, and Lars simply gazed down at him, understanding, but didn't say anything yet. "I'm sorry I… I fought you, and I attacked you, and I pushed you away- I'm sorry. I don't even know why I… why I fought so hard. Maybe it was the- the brainwashing and the torture or maybe I was just scared that you'd actually convince me to go back, and I wanted to help Homeworld and free all the gems and I didn't want to come back _here_ and pretend everything was f-" He stopped, eyes stinging with tears, but they didn't fall. "But I shouldn't have- I'm so-"

He cut off with a gasp, a startled yelp, as Lars suddenly pulled him into a hug, a tight embrace that caught him off guard. "-sorry-" He stood frozen for a second, stunned as his old friend's arms wrapped around him tightly, fingers digging into the back of his shirt. Something grazed against the scars on his back, just barely peeking out from underneath the crop top he wore. The sensation froze him to his core, but he was too shocked to pull away from the human. More tears rushed to his eyes, his vision blurring briefly as they finally welled up and spilled out.

It took him a while to force his arms to move, wrapping them around Lars cautiously. "Why…"

"I'm just glad you're alive, man," Lars whispered, his voice low enough that only Steven could hear, he was certain of it - even the gems with their hearing couldn't have heard it, it was so low. He froze again as Lars hugged him, voice shaking as he repeated, "I'm just glad you're alive."

He stayed still for quite some time, just hanging onto the embrace, before pulling back. He took the chance to rub at his eyes, clearing the tears away quietly as he looked up at the older boy.

"Oh yeah…" Lars smiled down at him, eyes glistening with tears of his own. "Happy birthday."

Steven laughed a little despite himself. It felt nice to laugh, even though his voice shook as he did, and the pressure building in his chest made him feel like he was going to pass out at any second. Still, he grinned back at his old friend for a moment before the smile melted, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he gazed at the older boy. It was nice to see Lars again, though now that the shock and anxiety and guilt was subsiding, he was starting to realize exactly how long it had been, and realizing that it had taken a lot longer than it should have - especially since they were in what was supposedly Berry's 'fastest ship' - to get back. "What took you so long to get here?" He asked, voicing his thoughts after a moment, and Lars blinked. "Did you run into trouble? Or-"

"No, no." Lars shook his head and smirked. "Trouble? Please. Nah, things were pretty cool for a while. After that whole… thing on that planet, I told that crazy chick Melanie that I was gonna-"

"Melanite," Steven corrected, then blinked. "Wait, you spoke to _Melanite?"_

"Yeah-huh. Anyway, I told her that I was done with the whole thing and, you know, she kinda got angry, yada yada, but we got away. Then another chick named Emerald started chasing us, and the ship got kinda…" Lars stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry and offering a thumbs down motion, but Steven just stared at him in silent shock as he went on, "so we stopped by some weird floating garden, and that's where we found Spinel. She wanted to go back to that Homeworld place, and I figured we might as well since that was where you were and maybe we could find you, so we did once we got the ship fixed up, but then we saw everyone fighting, and…" He trailed off for a moment, an odd expression flickering across his face briefly as he looked away from the hybrid. "That's where we picked up Aqua and Poppy. And we overheard some gem saying that 'Rose Quartz' had escaped or whatever, and I knew that was who they thought you were, so…" Lars huffed out a laugh, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, it got pretty intense."

"Stars…" Steven trailed off, staring at him incredulously for a moment. Returning to Homeworld at the request of a strange gem he didn't know, and to come save him, too… it was brave, it was amazing, really, but he couldn't help but feel a pang of horror at the realization that Lars could have very well been caught and killed. The Diamonds had seen him at the trial, they knew that Lars was associated with him. And the stars only know what Blue Diamond would have done to him if she'd found him… Steven cringed a little at the thought, squeezing his eyes shut briefly.

"Sorry I crashed your party, dude…" Lars paused, looking around. "Got any cake left?"

Steven shook his head, forcing his eyes open again. "Uh… I don't know. I don't eat cake," he admitted, offering a sheepish smile at the surprised look he received, but it melted after a second. "It's okay. You did give everyone a scare, but…" He looked back, relieved to notice that most of the humans that had initially been freaking out were relatively calm now. Jamie still wasn't anywhere to be seen, but Onion was chilling on Lion's back now, and Sour Cream had joined the other Cool Kids. He was unprepared, however, when Ronaldo suddenly turned and dashed over to them, yelling out Lars' name - and he was quick to step back, away from them.

"Lars! Bro, why are you pink?! What happened to you? Where'd you get that gnarly scar? Was it the Diamond Authority? Did they get you like they got Steven? _Do you even remember me?!"_

"Dude, calm down." Lars looked irritated, and understandably so.

Ronaldo did not, in fact, calm down.

"Um…" Steven hesitated, glancing back toward the others briefly. "Yeah, I'm gonna…"

"Wait, wait! Steven, I still need answers," Ronaldo interjected quickly, stepping toward the hybrid. Steven tensed, and Lars was quick, startlingly enough, to put himself between him and Ronaldo, glaring briefly at the other boy before turning his head to glance back at Steven again.

"You go ahead, Steven."

Steven offered a grateful smile, a quick goodbye to Ronaldo, and rushed off. Berry had, luckily, managed to pry Spinel off of her, but the pink gem was now bouncing around Pearl with a curious look on her face. "-you're Pink Diamond's old Pearl, right? I kinda sorta remember you. You were there when-" She stopped suddenly, freezing in place for a second. Pearl just stared at her, hands clenched tightly at her sides, and Steven slowed to a stop. Once again, that suspicious look flitted across Berry's face, narrowed eyes darting down to Pearl's hands and up again before the Ruby looked over at him somewhat quizzically, and Steven merely frowned. He didn't understand it any more than she did, but he definitely knew that something was wrong.

Eventually, however, Berry seemed to get bored of listening to Spinel and eyeing Pearl, because she ended up turning to face him again. "Your descriptions didn't do them justice."

Steven smiled a little despite himself, glancing back at the off-colors. "You should go say hi."

"I will when the Ruby leaves their general vicinity," Berry grumbled. Steven just hummed, looking up and watching the Cool Kids as they suddenly made their way over to Lars and Ronaldo, seemingly to save the poor pink human from the latter's rapid questioning. Sadie stepped in to help after a moment as Buck and Sour Cream latched their arms around Lars' and Jenny managed to distract Ronaldo just long enough for the others to drag Lars away from him.

He watched, thinking, then turned back to Berry. "So how d'you know her?" He finally asked, inclining his head toward Spinel, who had turned her full attention to a rather amused looking Garnet. Berry followed his gaze briefly and sighed, but he did notice she softened a little bit.

"She's one of Pink Diamond's old playmates. We met a few times when I would accompany Pink to her Garden," the Ruby recalled, her expression shifting as she remembered, and Steven gazed at her silently for a few seconds. He knew she loved Pink Diamond, knew she must miss her. Even now, she was still grieving that loss. "They'd break the communication devices constantly and I'd stop by to fix them and Spinel would try to get me to play hide and seek." The Ruby grumbled again, her red cheeks flushing a slightly darker shade as she looked away. "Regardless, we didn't really know each other. We were more like acquaintances in passing. After Pink was…" She stopped, staring at Spinel. "... I never did figure out what happened to her. I always figured Pink had taken her with her, let her see the Earth before they colonized it, before the whole rebellion began. She never really mentioned her after the Diamonds had…"

Berry trailed off, quiet for quite some time after that. Steven furrowed his eyebrows, staring at Spinel for a moment longer, then flicked his gaze away with a frown, heaving out a sigh. "Oh." He fell silent, watching Berry carefully for a while, then asked quietly, "are you okay?"

Berry glared at him for a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Is that your business?"

"As your friend?" Steven retorted. "Yeah, it is."

"Ah, go get cracked."

"Crack me yourself."

Berry made a face at him, but she snapped her mouth shut after that, taking another look around. Steven ended up lifting his gaze to the house, then the sky. It was getting darker; the stars were showing just enough now, the sky just clear enough that he could see Homeworld's galaxy again, the cluster of stars. He stared for a moment, eyebrows furrowed as he raked his gaze across the sky, then glanced back at the others. Lars and the off-colors were back, with three new gems. Things were looking up, getting better. So Steven couldn't really explain why he suddenly felt so drained, like he felt like just crawling into bed and curling up under his blanket and not coming out for a week, why he had such a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Are _you_ okay?" Berry asked him suddenly, an intent gaze rooted to the hybrid now when Steven looked back at her. He shook his head a little, then nodded, then shook his head again.

"I…" The hybrid trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek, and smiled tiredly. "... I don't know."

It was the most honest answer he could give at that moment.


	2. Chapter 2

After that, the party continued, this time with Lars and the off-colors.

Jamie returned once Candy had gone to retrieve him, assuring him that everything was okay now and it was safe to come back, and Sadie and the Cool Kids resumed their spot on the stage. They weren't singing now, really, just playing music while everyone else mingled about; Steven would occasionally offer his 'hellos' and 'how are yous' to the off-colors, Aqua and Poppy, but he stuck to himself for the most part. It was nice watching everyone else interact. Berry finally ended up introducing herself to the fusions, and after a minor misunderstanding about whether or not she was being serious when she told them they were 'amazing', she and Rhodonite started to bond - although Fluorite seemed to be Berry's favorite, judging by her wide-eyed, mesmerized stares in the larger fusion's direction whenever Fluorite wasn't looking.

Steven also watched as Lemon Lime got up the courage to approach Aqua. They were both rather cautious at first, wary in one another's presence, but Steven watched, slowly but surely, as both of them started to warm up to each other, as Lemon Lime's timid demeanor shifted, as Aqua's hair went from white, to grey, to yellow again as their conversation went on, and he couldn't help but smile a little bit to himself as he watched. Lemon Lime had made a new friend.

Right then, he sat beside Connie while the human introduced herself to the Rutile twins and Padparadscha (who was a little slow to the introduction, but she had the spirit nonetheless). His gaze was on the sky, tracking the stars silently, before he turned to look for the gems again. Amethyst, Clementine and Vidalia were hanging out near the stage - Amethyst was convincing Clementine to try a donut, and Vidalia was, of course, egging her on - Garnet was with Berry and the other fusions now, and Pearl had… well, it took him a few minutes to see where she'd gone. Spinel had stuck to her after being sure to go around and introduce herself to everyone else, and Pearl had begrudgingly accepted the pink gem's presence for the time being. She was seemingly trying to distract herself now by fixing one of the banners while Spinel chattered on.

Steven stayed silent, lips pursed in a frown, and watched the pale gem for a few more moments. He loved her, and he wanted to trust her, but he knew she was hiding something. He didn't understand the thing with her hands, with covering her mouth, not being able to talk…

"-ight Steven?"

The hybrid flinched and blinked, tearing his gaze away from Pearl. "What?"

Connie stared at him worriedly, but the Rutile twins were the ones who had spoken. One of them went silent, looking at him in concern, while the other one said, "are you alright?"

"Uh…" Steven stared at them for a long time, barely comprehending the question, barely even able to come up with a suitable answer. He hesitated, glancing at Connie briefly before returning his gaze back to the gems, biting his lip and curling the corners of his mouth upwards into a hesitant smile. "Um, yeah. I'm okay. Sorry, I guess I zoned out for a second." He paused to look away again, another swift glance around, another quick checkup on everyone at the party.

He was… anxious. He felt anxious.

The gems seemed about to respond, but they paused when another light suddenly flashed, the familiar rumble of tires against sand tearing Steven's attention away to the other side of the beach. An unfamiliar - at least, unfamiliar at first - car was pulling up, pausing beside the ship; Steven watched, curious and somewhat confused as the engine cut off and the car sat still for a good few seconds. Everyone else barely looked over before continuing what they were doing, although Connie seemed to perk up quite a bit from beside him, suddenly looking excited, and then worried. "It's my parents," she said just as the doors opened, and Steven widened his eyes slightly as he watched the two humans get out. Priyanka and… Doug, right? He remembered them, if only vaguely. He'd never really had a chance to interact with either of them too much, although he did remember going around with Doug and Connie just before he'd been taken…

"Mom! Dad!" Connie called, dashing across the beach to meet them. Priyanka looked bewildered, wary as she stared at the ship, though Doug looked somewhat amazed by the sight of it. Steven shifted slightly, curling his hands tighter around the plastic cup full of punch he was holding, and watched his best friend embrace both of her parents with a smile. "You made it!"

Beside Steven, Padparadscha squeaked. "Steven, more humans are coming!"

Steven looked down at her for a moment, then offered a faint smile. "Thanks, Padparadscha."

He looked up, albeit reluctantly, when Connie called his name, turning to look back at him. The hybrid hesitated for a moment, eyes lingering on Priyanka and Doug for quite some time before he finally forced himself to move, to join his best friend with her parents. He'd re-introduced himself to all of Beach City, and he could handle that. Which meant that he could handle this. It was just Connie's parents - sure, Priyanka could be kind of scary and intimidating, but she liked him, right? She hadn't at first, he remembered. Well, maybe it wasn't really anything against him - she'd just been strict, protective of her daughter. Which he could understand, especially now.

His stomach twinged a little, rolling with nausea at the thought of how freaked out she might be to learn about Homeworld, and he wavered briefly for a moment before forcing himself forward.

"Ah… hello," he greeted as he approached, forcing a smile at the two adults and glancing at Connie nervously. With his anxiety at its peak, interacting with humans wasn't… really helping with his stress right then, and Connie seemed to pick up on that immediately. She moved closer to him, a worried look replacing the excited one that had been written across her face, and he was quick to shoot her a reassuring look. He'd be okay, he hoped, he just needed to calm down.

Connie hesitated, resting a hand on his arm. "Do you… remember them?" She asked him quietly, but not quietly enough that Steven figured they wouldn't be able to hear. She must have already told them that he was having trouble remembering some things. The hybrid paused and hesitated for a moment, glancing back at Priyanka and Doug, who looked nothing but worried.

"Yeah," he replied quietly, a little more confident. "Mr. and Mrs. Mahe- ah, Dr. Maheswaran," he corrected himself quickly, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. Doug's expression shifted in an instant, melting into relief, but Priyanka somehow looked even more worried now as she stared.

"Gee, kiddo, you got taller," Doug commented, glancing him over, and Steven managed a slightly more genuine smile despite himself. With everyone reacting to his height now, he couldn't really help but wonder how they'd feel if they saw him in his limb enhancers again. The hybrid ducked his head and ran his fingers through his hair, hesitating for a moment as he glanced back at Priyanka. If Connie had told her about the memory loss, then that meant she'd probably told her about the other stuff - the stuff she knew about, anyway. Which meant she knew about Homeworld, she knew what had happened, she knew all these dangerous things… but she was still there, and still letting Connie come around, which meant she wasn't… angry.

It eased a little bit of his anxiety, though not by much. Priyanka stepped forward suddenly, and Steven tensed a little at first before relaxing again as the human knelt down in front of him. "Are you alright? Connie told us you've been having memory problems. I wanted to come see you sooner, maybe check you over in the hospital, but…" She paused, her eyes lowering from his gaze briefly to the scar on his cheek. He reached up to touch it somewhat instinctively, pausing.

"I'm okay, Dr. Maheswaran," he assured quickly, frowning. "My memories are coming back."

"And your physical injuries?"

Steven cracked a smile, biting the inside of his cheek. "Not as bad as they used to be," he offered, and paused when Priyanka's expression shifted in response, her worry only seeming to intensify. "I mean, ah- I'm… I'm okay. Really, I'm okay. The physical stuff isn't that bad now." He rubbed his thumb over the scar briefly before dropping his hand again. "And we're working on the mental stuff, and the memories… I think I'm okay with that for the most part, too," he admitted, glancing over at Connie, who only offered him a faint but concerned smile in response. Priyanka still didn't look entirely convinced - if anything, she seemed rather perturbed.

"But still…" Priyanka gazed at him, glancing him over again. Her gaze fell to his gem, then to the scars on his stomach. Steven took a deep breath, steadying himself. "You've experienced trauma. Rather _intense_ trauma. For someone your age, I can't imagine what everything you've been through has done to your psyche, beyond the-" She stopped, meeting his gaze again, then glanced toward Connie briefly before looking back at Steven. "... forgive me, I know this is probably the last thing you want to talk about. I don't mean to bring anything up," she murmured.

Steven gazed at her for a moment, understanding. "No, it's okay. I'm fine talking about it." He paused, running his tongue over his lips, and added with a hesitant smile, "most of the time."

"Well, tonight isn't about that." Priyanka took a deep breath and smiled at him. "Happy birthday."

"Yes, happy birthday!" Doug exclaimed, stepping forward as Priyanka straightened up again, and Steven couldn't keep his smile from softening, becoming a little more genuine as he looked up at the humans. "Hey, you're not too big for birthday hugs, are you? 'Cause I got one for you."

Steven couldn't help but chuckle, while Connie giggled beside him. "I'm never too big for hugs."

* * *

As the night progressed, Steven realized that there was, indeed, cake - for the guests who ate it - and, despite his aversion to food and flavor in general, Steven agreed to have a slice after he blew the candles out. A small slice, mind you; he wasn't eager to get a sugar high and he definitely didn't want to make himself sick from the sugar. His head had started to pound by the time he only finished all of it, and Lion seemed to notice he couldn't eat it anymore, because the pink beast nearly bit his hand off snatching the plate from him and gobbling down what was left. Steven only laughed, rubbed his head and offered Pumpkin a slice when the little creature seemed to feel a little left out, smiling to himself as he watched them both devour what they had. At least they were enjoying this - Steven loved the effort everyone had put into the party, and he loved reuniting with Lars and the off-colors, and he loved meeting the new gems, but he was… too stressed, too anxious and too emotionally drained at the moment to really enjoy it right then.

Still, he managed to find a little amusement in the way a rather now-hyper Pumpkin started attacking Lion's tail, and the way that Lion didn't even seem to mind in the slightest, pretty much treating her as if he would treat a cub. He laid down, licking his paws and occasionally turning to growl good-naturedly at the little orange creature, who promptly ended up clambering onto his back as much as she was capable of to go after his ears instead. Lion merely flicked them, huffed out a quiet sigh, and dropped his head to his paws. Steven could see the smirk on his face, the glitter of amusement in his eyes; as he crouched down to offer the pink beast another head rub, he also realized that Lion was purring, and the childlike joy he felt over that very nearly overpowered whatever stress or anxiety the hybrid had been feeling just before that.

When it came time to open gifts, Steven was a little more anxious with everyone's eyes fixed on him, but he still managed to muster up some genuine enthusiasm. From Barbara, there were new video games (which he didn't really play anymore, but he knew Amethyst, Candy and Lemon Lime would enjoy immensely), the Cool Kids and Sadie had all gifted him with CDs of all their albums, Jamie had apparently gotten him something from Wacky Sack, which appeared to be a suitcase shaped like a porkchop - which actually got a few laughs out of him, he'll admit. Garnet gave him a dreamcatcher, Pearl gave him a haircutting and styling kit (which he absolutely adored), Amethyst presented a nightlight that, according to the box, was supposed to cast an entire galaxy across the ceiling when he turned it on at night. And Greg had given him a guitar. A bass guitar, glittering different shades of silvers, pinks and golds, shaped like a star. It fit in his hands much easier than his ukulele did, and as much fondness as he still held for it…

… he knew with every fiber of his being, without a doubt, that he'd love this just as much.

Priyanka and Doug had also brought presents; Priyanka presented him with books about basic healthcare, eating disorders and specialized diets - which he was rather intrigued about, and he couldn't help but smile a little at the implication that Connie must have asked Priyanka about Steven's whole food-aversion thing (she also gave him books about dealing with trauma and then proceeded to give Greg a list of numbers apparently belonging to various 'therapists'). Doug gave him a thing of pepper spray, which he appreciated despite knowing that it wasn't gonna do anything against the threats he had to face. It was definitely the thought that counted.

Toward the end, Steven had started to enjoy it a little more as things really began to settle down. Spinel had done a full loop-around with everyone after introducing herself, pretty much checking up on the guests. She stuck with him for a little while; Steven was quick to adjust to her somewhat hyperactive behavior, though he noticed she shifted from excitable to quiet in the blink of an eye. Berry did her best to avoid having to interact with Poppy, who now seemed to be trying to catch her attention much to the other Ruby's chagrin. Otherwise, everyone else seemed to be getting along, and Steven, retreating back to the stage, finally allowed himself to relax as he sank back into a chair and listened to Sadie and the Cool Kids start their next song.

Sadie shuffled toward him during a music break, offering a smile to the hybrid, and Steven managed to crack a warm grin back at her in response. "Hey, you wanna get up here and sing?"

He did, but not enough. It had already been uncomfortable and stressful with most of the attention being fixed on him all day; he'd rather attempt to sink back into the background now. "Nah, that's okay. I prefer listening to you," he added honestly with a grin, and Sadie giggled slightly in response. "No, I… don't really like the attention," he admitted after a few moments. Sadie didn't look surprised - if anything, she looked understanding - but she did look concerned. "And I love all of this, don't get me wrong," he added hastily. "But it's just a little, um… stressful."

"Maybe you should go take a breather," Sadie suggested. "Excuse yourself to the bathroom or something. That's what I used to do when I got too overwhelmed." She cracked a smile at him, rolling her eyes slightly. "Fortunately, performing at rock concerts has stamped that out of me."

"Maybe I _should_ try then," Steven joked, and Sadie huffed out a laugh. Steven just chuckled, biting the inside of his cheek and looking away briefly to scan the area again. Taking a breather didn't sound too bad to him, actually. He'd feel a little bad for bailing on his own party, even if only briefly, but he knew the others would understand if he needed a moment to collect himself. "Yeah, I might… besides, this is around the time Pumpkin usually…" He stopped for a second, taking another quick look around, and frowned. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Pumpkin in a little while. Had she gone back to the house? She didn't usually disappear like that; usually she stuck with someone, whether it be him, or Garnet, or Amethyst or Pearl or Lemon Lime or Candy. But as he scanned the area, the little creature was nowhere to be seen. But as he'd been about to say, this was usually around the time she laid down to start sleeping, since she tended to wake up a lot in the middle of the night, so maybe she'd just gone to sleep.

"Go ahead," Sadie called to him, retreating back to the center of the stage to keep singing.

Steven took another look around, and pushed himself up.

He made his way over to Garnet and Berry first. The fusion had stuck close to the little Ruby, and Berry had, of course, stuck pretty close to Rhodonite and Fluorite for the most part. He didn't want to bother Pearl and Amethyst, but mostly since Amethyst was introducing Pearl to Vidalia and Barbara, and as much as he loved them, being around gems at the moment just seemed a lot easier than being around humans. He greeted Berry and Garnet with a smile as he approached, and offered his hellos to Fluorite and Rhodonite before he turned his full attention back to the fusion. "I, um, I think I'm gonna go inside for a bit. Uh…" He didn't really need to use the 'bathroom' excuse with the gems, did he? So he just launched right in honestly, "I just need a minute alone. I'm kind of…" He didn't need to finish. Garnet just smiled, understanding, and reached out to rest a hand on his head, and he melted into the touch.

"Thank you for telling me, Steven. You go take as much time as you need," she told him, leaning down to kiss his forehead, and the hybrid closed his eyes with a smile, leaning into it briefly. When it came to affection, Garnet was the best at giving it. "I'll let Amethyst and Pearl know."

"Thanks, Garnet." He pulled back, offering the others a smile before heading for the house, feeling most of his anxiety wither away almost at once the moment he reached the stairs.

When he entered, opening his mouth to call for Pumpkin, he froze in the doorway.

His heart stuttered, stopped, and took off at the speed of light.

Ahead of him, sitting on the counter, on the pillow where Peridot's gem usually rests, Peridot herself sat with Pumpkin in her lap, legs hanging over the side of the counter as she kicked her feet back and forth and buried her face against the orange creature's tiny body, stroking a hand over her stem. Steven's breath caught as he stared, chest and throat tightening in shock. Peridot looked… a little different than what Steven remembered. Her hair, most noticeably, was much more poofed up and ruffled, kind of frazzled and puffy like Lemon Lime's used to be. Her feet, still swinging, were uncovered, toes wiggling - and then, abruptly, she stilled. He watched, lungs aching as he held his breath, as she blinked her eyes open and lifted her gaze to him.

Steven felt lightheaded, ten seconds away from crashing right to the floor. Pumpkin raised up a little when Peridot suddenly shifted, and the green gem lifted her hands to allow the little creature to hop off of the counter and bound over to Steven. He couldn't move, even as she pressed up against his legs. All he could do was stare at Peridot as she scooted forward and let herself fall off of the counter, letting herself land on her feet. Her outfit was a little different; she no longer wore the Diamond insignia, her pants now a plain, darker green. The top of her outfit still looked somewhat like her old Homeworld uniform, mostly in terms of the straps at the collar, but a yellow star met them in the middle instead of a diamond. But the thing that really caught his eye was the bow wrapped around her waist, tied in the back. His mind blanked for a second, stalling to a static halt as he stared. His vision flickered all too suddenly, blue replacing green…

His heart ached, for her and for Lapis. Peridot lifted a hand, rubbing her eyes under her visor as she stepped around the counter. Pumpkin turned, bounding over to her, and the green gem reached down to scoop the creature into her arms at once, holding her close against her chest.

"Hi, Steven." Her voice was a whisper, rough from disuse and shaking slightly as she looked at him again. Her eyes were dull, lacking their usual intelligent sparkle, lacking _energy_. She was as sullen, as grief-stricken, as pained as she'd been when he'd first visited her in the barn, and as hurt as she'd been when she'd collapsed to her knees in front of him, screaming in anguish for the gem that she'd lost, for her roommate, her best friend, her greatest love. "Happy birthday."

Steven met her grief-filled gaze, still frozen, and realized for the very first time that he genuinely couldn't tell whether the universe was working with him or working against him at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rough sketch of [Peridot's new form](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/365686721393983489/795828817507254282/unknown.png), drawn by the lovely [Rubinaito](https://rubinaitoart.tumblr.com/) <3


	3. Chapter 3

Finally, Steven forced himself to move. He ventured forward slowly, carefully, almost afraid to approach her. Their last interaction was fresh in his mind, setting off warning bells in his head. Scared to approach her, scared that she could disappear at any moment again, retreat to her gem and be gone in a flash just like that the moment he said or did the wrong thing. Peridot didn't move for a while after that, her face half-pressed against Pumpkin, and Steven came to a slow stop in front of her, a good few feet away, maintaining a careful distance for the most part. He was happy to see her, he really was, but his worry and concern for her far overpowered that. He knew she wasn't okay and he didn't expect her to be, but every part of him ached for her regardless, every facet in his gem, every fiber of his being longing to help her however he can (even though he knows logically that there's nothing he can do, nothing to be done).

He knew what grief did. He'd seen how it tore Pearl apart. How the mention of Rose would make Greg's eyes mist up. Saw how quiet Tangerine got at the mention of Mandarin, how Clementine had just shut down. And he'd seen Blue Diamond, succumbing to rage and hatred…

And he felt his own grief, pounding strong through his heart.

Finally, with a shaky sigh, Peridot leaned down again and released her hold on Pumpkin, letting the small creature jump out of her arms onto the floor. Then she moved toward him, and Steven stayed still, just watching her as she approached him. He wasn't surprised when she embraced him - well, he was _surprised_ , but not _startled_ \- and buried her face into his chest, hands clenched tightly against his back as she pressed herself closer to him with another breathy exhale. He wondered over the fact that she wasn't crying as he wrapped his arms around her in return, but then he understood. She'd been tucked away inside her own gem for weeks now, just mourning, grieving on her own. There weren't enough tears in the world to properly amount to what she was feeling now, and after a certain point, Steven knew, you just kinda… ran out. The thought alone was enough to make him pull her closer, slowly lowering to his knees so that he could hold her properly, and Peridot sank into his arms, her tiny body shivering in his hold.

There were no words. He was too scared to open his mouth and attempt to find something to say, and too helpless knowing that he couldn't _say_ anything to help that he didn't really want to.

But he held her. He held her close, as tight but as cautious and gentle as he had when he held her gem to his chest. Now, with her face buried into his shirt, he could feel it pressed right against his chest, just beside his heart, just where he usually held her. He swallowed, clenching his teeth tightly as he drew her closer and closed his eyes, breathing in slowly through his nose. His lungs ached again, unsatisfied with the small amounts of air they were getting, but he didn't care. Not right then. Right then the only thing that mattered anymore was the gem in his arms.

Then, suddenly, she started sobbing, and Steven felt something inside of him… shatter.

Maybe it was all the walls he built up over his own grief, keeping it at arm's length just enough to feel, but not enough to break again. Because the moment Peridot burst into tears in his arms, he felt it all unravel at once. The pain, the grief, the anger, visceral and intense and _agonizing._

Her fingers dug into his back, shoulders spasming as she sobbed into his shirt, and the tears that came to his eyes didn't take their time like they usually did. They just flooded in without a warning, not even a sting to accompany them. Just tears, salty and hot and uncontrollable. His fists clenched handfuls of her uniform, and he only managed a sharp, shaky inhale once before he couldn't take it anymore. He felt like someone was squeezing his throat, burning and choking as he dissolved into tears with the green gem still clutched firmly in his arms. Her sobs were louder than his own - hers were loud and messy and strangled, like his had been that day at the barn, lost and hysterical and unable to calm himself down even a fraction, while his were quiet and choked, barely able to muster any sound or force behind them. But still yet, he sobbed, stifled and soft as she broke down in his arms, her weight heavy against his chest, her tears soaking into the front of his shirt. He managed to calm himself down a little, though not much. Just enough that only his shoulders tremble as he fights to stifle his sobs, to calm down for her.

He understood. She needed this. She needed to just cry, to just scream and sob and let it out. And he was willing to let himself cry with her, to let her know she wasn't alone, but he couldn't let himself build up into hysterics now. He had all the support he needed from the gems outside, but Peridot was turning to him for comfort, and Steven was more than willing to offer it to her.

So he held her, continued to hold her, even as her sobs stalled out to sniffles, and then silence. She stayed, trembling in his arms, and he felt his own body shaking as he held her closer.

"S- Sh- She w- she- she was my-" Peridot's voice shook, stuttering as she tried to speak. More tears rushed to Steven's eyes in response; her weak, anguished tone sounded so wrong coming from the usually rather chipper Peridot. Listening to her stumble over her words now, breathless despite not needing to breathe, choking on sobs as she tried to spit a sentence out, it just made him want to break down all over again. But he kept quiet, holding her close, and just listened. "-my b- best fr- friend- St- Steven, I-" Another sob, heartbroken and agonized and filled with nothing but pain and grief. Steven squeezed his eyes shut tighter. "I- I l- love- loved h- her-"

He knew. He knew that. Despite everything, or maybe because of everything, they'd been so close to one another. Best friends. They loved each other so fully, so completely. Peridot would have walked to the ends of the Earth for Lapis, sacrificed everything that she had to give her. She'd completed Lapis, in a way - in a lot of ways. She'd given her the home Steven didn't think that Lapis would have seen the Earth as if it weren't for Peridot. They were braver together, stronger together, happier together, _everything_ together. They made each other… better.

He blinked back the tears, jaw trembling as he worked it, searching for words, but found none.

"I loved he- her," Peridot repeated brokenly against his chest, and Steven could only force himself to nod as he clasped a hand over the back of her head and ducked his own, letting the bottom of his chin touch the top of her hair. Her hands rose to grip the back of his crop top, balling her fists into the fabric. "I- I should've gone with her, I sh- should've known she would-" She stopped, huffing out another choked sob. "Sh- She went there all a- alone and sh- she-"

_You couldn't have known, nobody could have known, you know how she felt about Homeworld, she left without telling anybody, there was no way you could have known she would leave,_ he wanted to say, he wanted to scream, but the words still wouldn't come. It wouldn't fix a thing. It wouldn't make her feel any better. It wouldn't lessen the guilt she was feeling, or the grief. Steven knew because he'd tried to tell himself the exact same thing so many times, feeling trapped in guilt and horror over the lengths Lapis had gone to to try and save him, and over that how led to her being poofed and bubbled and then shattered, broken, because Steven had dared to defy Blue Diamond, dared to try and escape the prison that Lapis had always warned him Homeworld was. He wanted to reassure Peridot, wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault, because it wasn't - it really, truly wasn't - but even as he tried, he couldn't force a sound out.

He inhaled slowly, breath hitching on a sob as he exhaled, and breathed, "I'm sorry."

Of all the things. All the things he could have said, should have said, wanted to say. All the words that spun around his brain, ones that wouldn't form on the tip of his tongue, words he shied away from, words that filled him with pain and anxiety and fear. Of all the things he wanted to say - _it'll be okay, we'll be okay, we'll get through this, we can get through this, I'm here for you, I'll be right here, I'll do the hardest part with you_ \- that was what came out of his mouth, two simple words that hardly felt like enough in the face of Peridot's grief, her pain.

Peridot just shook her head, pressed tightly to his chest, and sobbed again. It wasn't enough. (But far be it from Steven to assume that anything would ever be 'enough' again anymore).

He didn't say another word after that, not for the longest time. He just held Peridot while she calmed down again, her sobs once again subsiding into silence. She leaned against him, holding onto him as tightly as he figured she was capable of. When she spoke again, her voice was still quiet, still shaky, but she wasn't stuttering anymore, and she didn't sound on the verge of a breakdown. "You should go." She shifted, and he hesitated before carefully pulling his arms back so that she could pull back and step away from him, reaching up to rub her eyes again. She didn't seem able to meet his gaze now, instead looking toward something near the window before fixing her eyes on one of his shoulder straps. "I'm sure they're waiting for you to return."

"That's not important," Steven replied quietly, sitting back on his knees. The party, the gems, the people, all of it, they were the last thing on his mind. Peridot was the most important thing to him right then, and he wasn't about to leave her in here, grieving and alone, to go out and party. Peridot sighed, rubbing her eyes a little harder, and he hesitated. "I- … I… Peridot, I don't…"

_I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help you. What can I do?_

"I know." Peridot's voice dropped to a whisper, gaze flicking up to his for only a second before she looked away again. "It's okay. I'm-" She stopped, frowned, and swallowed, rubbing her eyes again furiously. "I've had time to- to think about… what I want to do now." He furrowed his eyebrows at that, while she went on quietly, "I'm tired of hiding from this, from you and… them."

He didn't need to ask to know what she meant by 'them'.

"So what… do you want to do?" He asked hesitantly, and she glanced up at him.

"You're fighting Homeworld, right?" He nodded, slowly, and Peridot's expression hardened. Just for a second, a split second, she looked like the dangerous, terrifying gem she had been when he first met her, when she still had her limb enhancers, when he'd seen her as a threat and not an 'angry little slice of pie' and then a friend. For a second, she looked like the gem that had been ready to smash him to bits when they'd first officially met, the gem that had proven to be their first real challenge as far as fighting Homeworld went, who had been completely ready and willing to destroy the Earth with the Cluster, had kidnapped him from his bed and brought him to the galaxy warp so he could fix it and she could go home. For a second… she looked scary.

"I want to fight," she told him then, and… he understood.

And this- _this_ , he could help her with.

"Then we fight." Steven met her gaze again, forcing his lips up into a gentle, hesitant smile. It took a few tries, but she eventually managed to offer him a brief, genuine smile. "For Lapis."

Peridot blinked, tears rising back to her eyes, but they didn't spill. "... for Lapis."

* * *

Steven stayed with her after that, retreating to the couch with the green gem. Peridot sank back into the cushion with her knees drawn up to her chest and didn't really say much of anything, and Steven didn't attempt to coax her into a conversation. Rather, the gears in his head finally turning again, he thought about what this might mean. Peridot wanted to fight, and so did Steven. He was already ready to bring Blue Diamond to justice - well, to _help_ bring her to justice. The hybrid knew such a thing couldn't rest on his shoulders and his shoulders alone, and for the first time, he was willing to let the others help him carry the heavy burden of this war, of his mother's actions, of the consequences of the choice she had made, and the ones he did. When Blue Diamond came, he'd be ready to face her alongside his family and the friends he made. He'd be ready to fight for Earth and everything he believed in. He'd be ready to fight to bring justice, and freedom - and he'd be ready to fight for Lapis, and Mandarin, and anyone else who had fallen in the endless battle Homeworld threw them into. He'd be ready- or, he'd _try._

He knew it'd be easier said than done. He didn't even know how they'd plan on taking down a Diamond, whether they went through with Bismuth's plan or not. Blue Diamond wasn't particularly clever, in the sense that she'd be able to out-think them. But she was powerful, and her rage made her a terrifying enemy, one Steven knew could very well be capable of destroying them all if she so desired, if they weren't quick enough to plan, to come to a decision on what to do about her. Steven knew it wasn't his decision, but it was still one to think about.

(It went without saying that he had no desire to shatter her himself. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it, in a haze of desperation and rage and anger, but he knew he'd never be able to take another gem's life. But that said, if shattering her was truly their only option…

… Steven wouldn't exactly try to play _peacemaker.)_

He sat in silence, hands curled against his knees, and closed his eyes. Peridot, beside him, was silent and still, arms wrapped around her knees, and he wondered for a moment if she was thinking about it too. He wouldn't blame her, he wouldn't judge her, not even for a second, if she was. Of course, he'd be lying if he said it didn't concern him for a moment, but that sentiment dissolved rather quickly nonetheless. Because it was an understandable reaction, wasn't it? He had many thoughts about Blue Diamond, he was _furious_ with her, and even though he personally wouldn't shatter a gem, he knew Bismuth was right. The world would be a better place without her, whether they had to shatter or bubble her to get rid of her and end it. All he could hope for, however, was that Peridot didn't allow her grief and anger to completely overcome her like Blue Diamond had. That she'd be able to push forward and do the right thing for the right reasons. But for the crimes Blue had committed… she deserved to be punished.

Looking back, he realized the younger him might have tried to talk some sense into the Diamonds, might have tried to get through this peacefully. He usually grieved for his old self, mourned the loss of the innocent, pacifistic little boy he'd been. But he knew he had to change in order to survive the hellscape that Homeworld had been. He had to change to survive it all. And he had to change to come to terms with some people just don't want to, that they can't.

(He had to change to accept that not everybody is worthy of redemption.)

He sat, still and contemplative, until the door creaked open. "Yo, Steven, you okay, buddy? I-" Amethyst froze in the doorway, just as Steven had, and locked her gaze on Peridot, startled. Peridot simply lifted her head from her arms, peering up at the purple Quartz in silence until Amethyst managed to speak, lips moving uselessly for a moment before she uttered, "Peri?"

"Hi, Amethyst," Peridot greeted quietly as Pumpkin squeezed her way into her lap again.

Amethyst stared at her, wide-eyed, then flicked her gaze to Steven, who barely managed to shrug. He looked at Peridot, hesitating for a moment, then eased himself off of the couch. He felt a little better about leaving now that Amethyst was here; the smaller Quartz wasn't the best at comforting people, but Steven knew how much she cared about Peridot, and she figured the green gem was in good hands for the time being. Hell, maybe Amethyst would be able to actually talk to her, rather than Steven, who couldn't hold up a conversation with his friend right then to save his gem. Peridot watched him as he stood, and the hybrid hesitated for a moment. "Uh, I'll be right back. Is everyone still here?" He turned back to Amethyst, frowning slightly.

The other Quartz continued to stare at Peridot for a moment before shaking her head and turning her attention back to Steven. "Ah, yeah, but they're leaving soon- that's why I came to…"

Steven only nodded, understanding, and glanced back at Peridot. "I'll let the gems know you…"

Peridot pursed her lips, silent, then requested quietly, "can you send 5HX and 5XH?"

Berry and Lemon Lime. Steven recognized the numbers just as easily as he'd have recognized their names. His heart ached a little, remembering how worried and stressed Lemon Lime had been when Peridot had poofed, and… Berry hadn't really said anything, hadn't _expressed_ her concern, but Steven caught the subtle glances and frowns that the Ruby shot in Peridot's gem's direction from time to time. They'd be happy to know that she'd reformed, but worried about the state she was in… because he knew damn well that he was both ecstatic and worried, glad to have her back, but scared of how quiet and withdrawn and distant and… shy, and timid she was. Maybe they'd be better at consoling her than Steven had been - he certainly hoped so.

"Yeah." He offered a small smile before stepping forward, looking at Amethyst worriedly. The purple gem had composed herself for the most part, offering him an only half-convincing reassuring smile. He didn't know if she was better suited for this, to be completely honest, but he was willing to trust her for now. Maybe later, once he got his thoughts back in order, maybe he'd finally be able to do something useful - but right then he felt like he was running on fumes. And he knew he couldn't help Peridot right now. He couldn't even utter one reassuring _word_.

Steven made his way outside, glancing back for a second. He saw Amethyst make her way toward the couch after a moment, climbing up beside Peridot, and he watched the green gem seem to relax a little bit while Amethyst spoke to her, saying something Steven couldn't hear. Honestly, he couldn't help but stare for a moment, watching through the window. Amethyst's expression was gentle, her eyes never leaving the green gem. Peridot didn't meet her gaze - at first. Slowly, but surely, she began to trail her eyes in the purple gem's direction until they were making eye contact, and Amethyst continued speaking until the green gem opened her mouth to respond. He was somewhat surprised, watching Peridot uncurl herself a little and shift her full attention to the smaller Quartz, seeing how patient and gentle Amethyst seemed. It was surreal, truthfully, and it took him longer than he'd like to admit for him to be able to rip his gaze away.

He marveled over it for a moment, wondering when Amethyst had gained what he'd lost, hating himself for how hard it was to help someone now, cracking and ripping apart at the seams over the fact that he genuinely didn't know what to do in this situation, but she did, and it showed.

These days it felt like he was the one who needed help, and he'd been receiving as much of that as they could offer, but the moment he had to give it again, every inch of him just froze.

He hated it. With every fiber of his being, he hated it.

(And he had absolutely no idea what to do.)

He swallowed and breathed, taking in a lungful of air, and turned away from the house, staring down toward the beach. "Berry," he called out as he headed down the stairs, shifting his attention to Peridot's request first and foremost - he could let Garnet and Pearl know what had happened after he sent those two in for her, she probably wouldn't want to be too crowded yet. The Ruby turned to him immediately, eyebrows raising and then furrowing as she caught the expression on his face, and she was far too quick to excuse herself from the conversation she'd been having with Garnet and the other fusions. Steven stopped as she came to him, then swept his gaze around in search of Lemon Lime. "Do you know where Lime is? I- Peridot reformed."

Berry froze in place for a second, a surprised look briefly flitting across her face before she recovered again, taking action almost immediately. "Ah, he was talking to the Celestite," she recalled, glancing over her shoulder, then darting her gaze toward the house, wide-eyed now. Then she looked at Steven, an unspoken question in her gaze, one he didn't need to answer.

"She wants you two." He ran his fingers through his hair, hesitating. "I dunno what to do. Amethyst is with her. I couldn't talk to…" He stopped, shaking his head. Not the time to vent.

A blank look crossed Berry's face, and then an understanding one. "You of all people should know that grief is a tricky thing, hybrid. Everyone processes it in different ways," she reminded him, and then turned away again, scanning the beach with a slight frown. "Lemon Lime!"

"I know." Steven hesitated. "I just don't wanna make it worse."

"Trust me. You can't."

Steven didn't think that was particularly reassuring.

It didn't take long for Lemon Lime to reach them. Berry led him away instantly, already explaining the situation as they walked, and Steven watched as they headed up the stairs. Berry did pull the Peridot to a stop just outside to say something else, and Steven watched his expression rapidly switching between mixtures of hope, fear and concern as the Ruby spoke. He only stared until they finally opened the door and disappeared inside, then turned away again and steadied himself, every part of his body trembling as he fought to compose himself. Now he had to find the gems, say goodbye to everyone… the party couldn't end quickly enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Things were… a little calmer the next morning.

Steven had explained the situation to the gems, said his goodbyes, thanked everyone again, and retreated back to the house for the night. Lars had gone home to see his parents, leaving the Sun Incinerator with them for the off-colors; Fluorite couldn't exactly fit in the beach house, and Rhodonite, the Rutile twins and Padparadscha seemed to stick pretty close to her, so they set up a place for themselves in the ship for the time being while Spinel, Aqua and Poppy ended up retreating to the house along with Steven, Greg and the gems. He made sure to hug Connie goodbye before they left; the human had wanted to come in and see Peridot, but she'd ultimately decided it was probably a good idea to let everything settle down and come back tomorrow. He bid temporary farewell to the Fryman family, the Pizzas, Vidalia, Sour Cream and Onion - everyone. And then he retreated into the house with Greg, physically and emotionally exhausted. He was glad to see Peridot seemed to be in somewhat of a better state when they got there; she had been discussing weapon choices with Berry, Bismuth and Lemon Lime.

He heard something about her metal powers, and Berry had muttered under her breath about 'making that work'. Steven had simply retreated to the kitchen with Greg, who busied himself with making them dinner; the hybrid didn't want to crowd Peridot too much right then. Spinel and Poppy were busy exploring the temple, although he noticed Aqua kept mostly to themself, less interested in looking around and more interested in Pumpkin, who had joined them in the corner.

The hybrid didn't have much to say. He was tired, _drained._ He just wanted to curl up in his bed and sleep until he regained even a fraction of the energy he had lost. So that's what he did. He finished dinner, called goodnight to the gems and let Greg lead him upstairs to hug him goodnight. He didn't bother setting up his galaxy nightlight - he was too exhausted to take any pleasure in it tonight. He simply curled up under his blanket, closed his eyes and listened to the gems talking downstairs. So much had happened tonight; the fireworks, the party, Lars and Peridot returning, the off-colors and the new gems. On top of Bismuth, and the thing with Pearl, Steven could feel the stress piling up. It was just one of the not-so rare moments he missed how calm and complete Homeworld had been. Nothing had been this confusing or overwhelming. Everything was simple, direct, and somehow so much less stressful than all of this was getting.

And he felt awful, he felt _wrong_ , for missing it.

Greg sat on the edge of his bed, looking at him worriedly as the hybrid laid back. "Hey," he said quietly, reaching out to rub Steven's head, and he just barely managed to lean into the touch. He was so tired, he just wanted to slump back and not move, hide away from everything else. And he felt wrong for that, too. "Are you doing okay, buddy? I know this is all pretty… stressful."

Steven wanted to laugh. Stressful was such a tame word, but he couldn't think of a better one. "It is," he admitted quietly, honestly, and leaned his head back. It took him a few moments before he finally confessed, "it really is. And I- I feel horrible for not being down there with her, but I'm so tired, and it's so overwhelming, and I don't even know what to say to her or what to do and I can't…" He stopped, clenching his teeth, and swallowed. "And it just feels so… I just…"

"Hey…" Greg shifted closer, pulling the hybrid into his arms, and Steven allowed himself to melt into the warm embrace, turning to bury his face into Greg's shoulder. "Hey, I get it. You're not horrible, kiddo. With everything you're dealing with, it's impressive you pulled through _this_ long." He pressed a kiss to Steven's head, and he closed his eyes, letting out a soft, shaky sigh and melting into his arms again. He felt even more awful for the comfort he was receiving right then; Peridot was the one who really needed it right now, and _Steven_ was having a breakdown. It was pathetic. It was stupid. It was… "You don't have to do anything tonight. There's plenty of time. Let the gems take care of this for now, bud," Greg murmured, squeezing him lightly. "Just rest."

He did. Safe in his father's arms, with the gems downstairs and knowing that, if nothing else, Peridot was _back_ and that was what he'd been waiting for, hoping for, wishing for, ever since she'd poofed, Steven finally let himself relax, sinking back into his father's arms, and slept.

* * *

He slept nightmare free.

Maybe it was the dreamcatcher, maybe it was the fact that Greg held him all night like he used to do when Steven was a kid. He didn't know. But his sleep was blissfully blank and dark and filled with absolutely nothing; no pain or fear, no grief or rage, no anxiety or uncertainty. He woke up exhausted and still wanting to immediately go back to sleep, and too tired to really think clearly at first, but he didn't feel as stressed as he'd been the night before. Still, even after he'd woken, he stayed in Greg's arms until his father stirred. Only then did he start to pull away, shifting to sit on the edge of the bed and staring at the stairs for a moment. He couldn't hear anything downstairs; his stomach twinged for a moment at that realization, somewhat worried, but he couldn't deny that a small part of him had felt relieved. He stayed in place for a second, just staring, then finally heaved himself up. Greg was slower to sit up, and much more reluctant.

"Good morning," Steven greeted as he stood up, rubbing his eyes and stumbling over to his dresser. He usually went for breakfast before he showered, but he really felt like he needed a few minutes to himself under the water, so he was willing to switch up his usual routine today. Greg mumbled something mostly unintelligible, rubbing his eyes furiously while Steven pulled his drawers open and pulled out some clothes to change into; a sky blue and cloud-colored crop-top and shorts. He also grabbed the hairstyling kit, only to grab a band to tie his hair back with after he finished showering, and turned his attention back to his father. "M'gonna shower."

"Okay." Greg rubbed his eyes again and smiled at him, exhaustion evident in his expression, but nothing but warmth sparkling in his eyes. "I'm gonna make breakfast. How do eggs sound, hm?"

Eggs. Alright, eggs were good. He didn't like them, but they were tolerable. "Sounds great," he murmured, and Greg offered him a thumbs up as he pushed himself up. Steven stopped him before he could go downstairs, however, remembering his earrings and somewhat hesitantly asking for help taking them off. Greg was happy to assist him, and he bubbled and sent them off to his gem before he headed downstairs with his father. Berry and Bismuth weren't there, but Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl were awake and sitting on the couch with Peridot, who was curled up against one of the cushions with her head leaning on the arm, fast asleep. Poppy and Aqua were nowhere to be found, he noticed, but as he looked toward the kitchen, he saw Spinel had wrapped herself around one of the beams, hanging upside down beside the counter, and was sleeping with her arms looped around herself like a cocoon, covering everything but her face.

He stared for a moment, admittedly, then simply shook his head and moved on. He offered a small smile to the gems as he passed, not wanting to risk waking Peridot up by speaking, then slipped into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. For a few seconds, he simply sank back against it, staring up at the ceiling. The stress of Lars' return and the party had passed. All that was left was Peridot, but that alone stirred up enough anxiety to make him feel nauseous. But after a moment, he couldn't help but wonder - why did he feel so weirded out by all of this? He was grieving, too. He knew what it was like. How sticky and overwhelming and painful it was. There was no reason for either of them to have to go through such a thing alone, was there? No reason for one of them to solely be the source of comfort for the other. There was no comfort, really. Just… companionship? Misery loves company, after all. Maybe he didn't know how to fix it. Maybe he didn't know what to say or what to do. But maybe he wasn't supposed to, either.

They had both lost someone so, so close to them. Someone they loved.

The anxiety melted away, replaced with sorrow. Grief didn't just fade, didn't just get 'better'. Even now, it was so easy for that pain to consume him, even if it didn't do so _all_ the time. Peridot deserved to be able to mourn her best friend, and Steven couldn't do anything about that. He couldn't make it better. But he could mourn with her, like he'd wanted to from the start. And they would keep living. They would keep moving forward. They would bring Blue to justice. They'd avenge Lapis, and Mandarin. And the Diamonds would never hurt anybody ever again.

He took a deep breath, steadied himself, and moved toward the bathtub. It would be okay.

Steven didn't know how, or when, really - but it would be okay.

(Life went on, after all.

Even when it feels like it stops.)

The shower melted the rest of the tension from his muscles, helped him finally relax completely. He didn't spend too much time under the water, though part of him wished he could stay forever. It felt nice to just stand under the spray, like it was washing his stress away. The feeling lingered for a little while even after he'd finished, but he took his time drying off and putting the earrings back on, somewhat hesitant as he did but determined to learn how to do it by himself. He paused in front of the mirror for a moment, pausing as he pulled his hair back and tied it up. It was a bit different from what he was used to, but he figured he could get used to it. Without his hair down, some of the scars on his neck were a bit more visible - which he didn't really mind.

Taking a second look in the mirror, he decided he liked the way it looked and moved on.

Amethyst met him at the counter now, as he took his seat. Peridot was still sound asleep; Pumpkin, tucked under her arm, briefly lifted up when she saw Steven, but she settled back down quickly enough when Peridot stirred a little from the movement. The hybrid watched them for a moment, eyes focused on his friend, then took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the purple Quartz beside him. He looked up when Greg slid a plate of eggs and toast in front of him, sparing his father a grateful look and picking his fork up. "So… did Berry and Bismuth go back to the forge?" While Amethyst only hummed a quiet confirmation to his question, grabbing her own plate, Steven paused to take a look around, realizing Lemon Lime and Candy weren't there, and furrowed his eyebrows, glancing back over at Amethyst. "Where's Lime and Candy?"

"Sprite went with Spitfire to do his whole weapon designing thing so Berry and Bis can get to building and stuff," Amethyst explained, shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth and swallowing before adding with a shrug, "and I think Candy went to help Kiki deliver pizzas."

Steven nodded faintly, staring at his plate for a moment. Greg sat down across from them, twirling his fork thoughtfully. "Man, all this fighting and stuff is making me wonder if I should trade my guitar in for a battleaxe or something," the human said suddenly, and Steven spared a somewhat surprised look up at him, then huffed out a giggle. He managed to quiet himself quickly enough, but he couldn't stifle the amusement that had bubbled in his chest at that. Amethyst snorted out a few quiet snickers herself, taking another bite as she shook her head.

"Uh, yeah, no." She pointed her fork at Greg. "No offense dude, but you're like… old."

Greg frowned. "Hey, I'm younger than you are."

"Yeah, but I'm a gem. My body doesn't break down systematically like yours does. You shut down when you age; we're built to last," Amethyst replied smugly, and Steven rolled his eyes, because he knew damn well those words might as well have been coming straight from Pearl herself. "Besides… I still have all my hair so… I mean, I still definitely _look_ younger than you."

"Amethyst," Steven scolded, and the smaller Quartz snickered.

"Words hurt," Greg complained.

Amethyst giggled. "Can't hurt worse than your fragile old bones." She brushed her hair back and smirked, scooping up another forkful of eggs. "Look, either way, you should stay outta all this. The last thing you should be worrying about is a gem war - I mean, it's bad enough Connie wants to fight so bad. Pearl's already having a hard enough time trying to convince her that she shouldn't get involved as it is." Steven frowned a little at that, but he wasn't exactly surprised. He'd definitely have to talk with Connie about that later, though; Homeworld wasn't like any threat she'd ever faced before. Worse than corrupted gems, more dangerous than the mutants.

"She is very determined," Pearl murmured, pushing herself up and walking over. Steven watched as she took her seat beside Amethyst and leaned forward, propping her elbows up on the counter and resting her chin in her hands with a frown. "I am proud of her, but it's all so…"

"Different," Steven sighed, staring at his plate for a moment longer before finally taking a bite. He pursed his lips, swirling the eggs around in his mouth for a moment before chewing and swallowing, then simply ended up laying the fork down to grab the toast instead. He'd go back to the eggs when he didn't have anything else - his father wasn't a bad cook or anything, but they had a little more flavor than Steven had initially bargained for, and his stomach was already beginning to churn from the single bite he'd taken. "Fighting Homeworld won't be like hunting down a corrupted gem, or… fighting those gem mutants that we faced. It'll be completely new to her, and she's… she's just a kid." He paused, staring at the toast for a moment. He was just a kid, too. He should have never been thrown into battle, but he was. And it had turned him into this, into the soldier he was now. And it was necessary for his survival, he knew, but… he could never wish that on Connie. She was just a human. She could get hurt - stars, she could _die_.

His stomach twisted, suddenly unsure of his resolve to stay and wait for the Diamonds to come to them first, realizing for the first time exactly how much risk that put Earth and humanity at.

"I know," Pearl muttered. "I wish I could keep _you_ out of it, too."

Steven shook his head, frowning down at his plate. "My Diamond wouldn't let that happen."

He didn't really notice the slip-up, too distracted to realize what he'd said until he looked up to see the three of them staring at him, expressions of surprise and worry etched across their faces. He blinked, not quite comprehending until Amethyst said slowly, "you mean… Blue."

"Blue…" Steven winced a little. "Did I say…?"

Amethyst and Greg shot each other worried looks; Pearl bit her lip, frowning, then reached across the table and rested a hand over Steven's free one, offering a light squeeze. The hybrid took a deep breath, struggling to rid himself of the anxiety and shame that had burst to life like fireworks in his chest. He was pretty sure that was the first time he'd really slipped up on that, and he _knew_ it was definitely the first time since he'd started remembering things. And he hated himself, hated the implication of it, the fact that there might be a tiny part of him, however subtle, however small, that still saw Blue Diamond as _his_ Diamond. "It's alright, Steven. It's natural," Pearl soothed, squeezing his hand again, and Steven shook his head slightly, grimacing.

"It shouldn't be." He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He still didn't know how to tell them about what he was feeling, how to explain how he simultaneously missed Homeworld and hated everything it had been, how he had been a prisoner and yet longed for the simplicity of it, the orders, about how he somehow missed the life that he'd been forced into as a punishment. "I'm sorry. I've just… I've been- thinking about Homeworld a lot…"

He trailed off, and he didn't pick back up. Maybe one day - but today wasn't it.

After a moment, Amethyst bumped her shoulder against his and reached out to ruffle his hair. He leaned his head into the touch slightly, taking a bite of the toast. "It's okay, little man. Hey, you've been working yourself pretty hard lately, what with Bismuth and now all of this going on." Amethyst paused, glancing back toward where Garnet and Peridot sat briefly, and Steven followed her gaze. The green gem was still sleeping, but she'd shifted to lay on her back now with Pumpkin curled up on her chest. "And yesterday as a whole was probably way more intense than you bargained for, so…" The purple Quartz chuckled. "You should take a break."

A break. Dear stars, wasn't that what this was? He couldn't help but smile though, albeit tiredly, as he glanced back at Amethyst. "Thanks, Amethyst. But I don't… it's not that simple now."

Amethyst shot him a _look_. "Steven…"

Steven sighed and inclined his head in a nod, glancing toward the door. He pursed his lips, twisting his mouth hesitantly for a moment before mumbling, "I guess… I didn't really get a chance to properly introduce myself to the new gems," he finally sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before turning back to his food and taking another bite of the toast, chewing and swallowing before he went on, "I mean, I introduced myself, but I think everyone was kind of distracted… so." He heaved out a sigh, furrowing his eyebrows. Not exactly the most relaxing thing to do, but all things considered, it shouldn't be too bad. Maybe he didn't like big crowds and maybe he got overwhelmed pretty easily when meeting new people now, but that wasn't to say he didn't like meeting new people. He'd jump at the chance to make new friends if he could. He trailed his gaze toward Spinel for a moment, contemplative; the pink gem was still asleep.

"That sounds fun," Pearl hummed, smiling at him. "Maybe you can see if they're interested in becoming the newest members of the Crystal Gems." And Steven couldn't help but smile a little at that. It did seem like the group was expanding, wasn't it? It had gone from 'Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl and Steven' to all these new gems, fighting for the sake of the Crystal Gems' cause, but also for their own. He hoped the new gems would be just as keen on doing the same, too.

Feeling a little more lighthearted, or at least willing to tackle this for now, Steven nodded and turned back to his food. At the very least, it'd be nice to just be able to welcome them to Earth.

Despite his own conflicting feelings, he had a feeling they'd like it.

* * *

Peridot woke up not too long before Steven had finished his breakfast; it was the first time in a long time he'd been able to completely clear a plateful of any kind of food, which he somewhat prided himself on, even though it left him feeling somewhat sick - not how much he'd eaten, but simply the amount of flavor that was lingering on the tip of his tongue. He'd never get used to it.

He finished off his food, rinsing his plate off while Peridot stretched and got up, holding Pumpkin close to her for a moment before setting the little creature down. She ended up bounding right over to Steven - who, after depositing the plate in the sink, was more than happy to scoop her up into his own arms - while Peridot slowly approached the counter and climbed up into the stool beside Amethyst, crossing her arms over the countertop and seemingly stifling a yawn. Steven hesitated for a few moments, truthfully, as he turned back to her - but, reminding himself of what he'd realized earlier, he managed to offer her a small, warm smile. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Peridot mumbled, rubbing her eyes with a sigh. She lifted her gaze toward Spinel briefly, raising her eyebrows at the sight of the pink gem for a moment, then paused and shook her head, turning her attention back to them. "Where's 5- ah… Berry and Lemon Lime?"

"They went to Bismuth's forge," Amethyst hummed, propping her head up in her hands.

Steven nodded, crossing back over to the counter. "Probably to work on your weapon."

He was relieved to see Peridot seemed to perk up a little bit at that, despite it not being much. It was progress, it was _something_ other than complete misery and grief and pain, so he'd take it. "Weap _ons_ ," she corrected the hybrid, almost proudly, and Steven caught a brief glimpse of the Peridot he used to know, the smug but loveable, intelligent, snarky Peridot. It was just a reminder that, yes, they'd feel a little stuck sometimes, but life really did go on, and even Peridot could keep pushing forward despite what she'd lost. And Steven knew she had lost a lot. "We decided that in order to make use of my metal powers, they would implement - oh, you'll see. Berry said they would be quite simple to construct," the green gem added, pushing her visor up a little to rub her eyes again, and Steven nodded faintly with a small smile. "And I trust her. She's very skilled at weapon crafting. We were both at the top of our class back on Homeworld."

Despite himself, Steven couldn't bite back a grin. "Oh, I know. Berry's the one that made me my weapon," he told her, setting Pumpkin down on the counter so that he could summon his scythe. Peridot's eyes widened slightly at that, a brief flicker of excitement crossing her face in an instant, and Steven knew then and there that she was going to be okay. She'd get through this. At the very least, he knew she _could_ \- somehow, even when it felt impossible, she could. And she would. _They_ would. "Lime helped her design it. She said it was the longest she'd ever spent on a weapon," he mused, biting the inside of his cheek. Peridot stretched up to get a better look.

"Well, I'm not surprised," she marveled. "Look at this thing, it's perfect. The right size, the right proportions, sharp…" She reached out, and Steven surrendered the weapon to her without hesitation, watching her as she curiously inspected the scythe. From the corner of his eye, he saw Greg, Amethyst and Pearl exchange amused looks while Peridot inspected the scythe, raising her eyebrows slightly. "Just the right weight, too. How long did it take her to make this?"

"Two weeks," Steven answered, and Peridot snorted, unsurprised.

"I think this might be her finest piece of work since she invented the destabilizer." Peridot scrunched her face up, thinking. "And the stars know _that_ made a lot of gems' jobs easier…"

Steven froze for a second, more surprised than anything at first. Peridot didn't seem to notice his reaction, handing the scythe back, but he knew if the others hadn't caught it, considering what he'd told them before, they didn't exactly need to. "Berry invented the destabilizer?" The scars on his back stung a little just from the word, the mere thought of the weapons in question. He was surprised, more than anything, that Berry hadn't mentioned that to him - but, then, he realized after a moment, the topic had never come up, had it? Steven had never explained his punishments to her; it wasn't something they spoke about, not after he'd lost his memories.

Peridot shrugged. "Berry invented most of Era-2 technology." She paused, looking away from him and glancing toward the warp pad. "So where is this… forge? I'd like to see her progress."

Steven paused, diminishing his scythe. Amethyst pushed herself up after a moment, hopping off of the stool. "I'll show ya," she offered, and Peridot nodded slightly as she turned and hopped down from her seat. It didn't take long for Pumpkin to jump down and scamper after her, and Peridot scooped her up into her arms before she stepped onto the warp pad with Amethyst, holding the little creature close while the purple Quartz flashed them the peace sign. "Later!"

Steven watched as they warped away, silent for a moment, but still feeling a little better. He'd have certainly understood if Peridot had hid herself away from them for a while, continued being more withdrawn, but she seemed pretty active. Not exactly chipper, and he could see that. She wasn't anywhere near as energetic and happy, and he didn't expect her to be. But she hadn't sunk so deep into depression and grief that she was unreachable yet, and Steven could only bring himself to be glad for that. "Well…" He stared at the warp pad for a moment, twisting his mouth, then shot the other gems a hesitant, tired smile. "I'm gonna see how the new gems are settling in now." He inclined his head toward the door, stepping out from around the counter.

Garnet finally spoke, pushing herself up from the couch. "Would you like some company?"

"Always." Steven smiled slightly despite himself, opening the door.

Garnet grinned, ruffling his hair as she passed him, and Steven bit back a giggle as he turned to follow, flashing a quick smile and a wave goodbye at Pearl and Greg over his shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

Steven followed Garnet out to the beach, where the Sun Incinerator rested. The hybrid was somewhat surprised to see Clementine sitting outside with Poppy, looking oddly… amused as she spoke to the little Ruby. The Jasper did look up, however, tugging her lips up into a warm smile as she spotted the two, and Poppy immediately lifted a hand to wave as they approached. "Looks like you're settling in well," Garnet commented. Steven dropped back a little while she came forward, happy to let her do most of the talking for the most part. "How are the others?"

"Well, everyone but Aqua is exploring," Poppy snorted. Steven furrowed his eyes at that, glancing toward the ship, and the Ruby followed his gaze. "Yeah, they've been stuck in there since the Earth's sun came up. Nobody's been able to coax them out." She chuckled slightly.

Clementine smirked, leaning back on her hands. "Sounds like a challenge, Quartzy."

Steven spared her a playful glare at that, unable to keep the corners of his lips from tugging upwards into a faint smile, though he did hesitate for a few moments before stepping toward the ship. He understood the wariness and confusion that came with visiting a new place when you weren't really even sure you wanted to be there at all - and he'd seen enough uncertain looks and half-interested glances to know that Aqua would likely rather be back on Homeworld right then. Something Steven could understand, and relate to (maybe now more than ever). Maybe he'd be able to coax them out, though. Convince them to at least give the Earth a shot, like his friends had done for him. Maybe it was different for him because this was his home planet, but despite whatever lingering attachment he might have for Homeworld, he still loved the Earth.

"Hey," Poppy called after him, and Steven paused outside the ship, turning to glance back at her curiously. "What's that other Ruby's deal, by the way? She doesn't seem to like me very much."

"Ah…" Steven offered an apologetic smile. "Don't take it personally. She doesn't like Rubies."

Poppy stared at him for a moment. "... but… she's a Ruby."

"And I've used that argument many times." Steven couldn't bite back a chuckle in time, and Poppy huffed out a genuine but bewildered laugh, eyebrows furrowing. "But… I don't know. Maybe you'll be the first," he finally said, although he knew it was unlikely. He'd seen firsthand how deep Berry's distaste for her fellow Rubies truly ran. Truthfully, a big part of him was still rather curious as to how Berry could love Garnet so much, considering Ruby was one of the gems that made her up. But he also knew her infatuation came from the fact that Garnet was simply a fusion in general; she wasn't a Ruby, and she wasn't a Sapphire, even though those were the gems that made her up. She was something completely different, completely unique.

"Challenge accepted." Poppy offered him a lopsided grin and winked, and Steven couldn't help but laugh again despite himself, finally letting most of the tension drain from his muscles. Yeah, he liked the new arrivals. He knew he could definitely warm up to Poppy. "Speaking of challenges, I won't keep you any longer. Go ahead, and good luck…" The Ruby smirked at him, tilting her head toward the ship, then added with a somewhat mischievous look, " _Quartzy_."

Steven snorted and smiled back at her, amused, then turned and pressed his hand to the panel to open the ship, ducking inside the second the doors hissed open. He could get used to her.

He ventured inside, pausing as the doors slid shut behind him, and took a look around. A small smile tugged at his lips, just for a moment - the ship, all things considered, was gorgeous. Looking the inside over slowly, he understood why it was one of Berry's favorites, despite it being made for someone else (Emerald, right? He was pretty sure Lars had mentioned her the night before, actually), and why she'd been so upset when it had been stolen. Now she could rest easy knowing that it was intact and safe with them on Earth. The hybrid twisted his mouth, gaze lingering for a moment, then flicked his gaze away to glance around again. There was no sign of Aqua yet - but, he did see a staircase leading upwards, likely to the main part of the ship. Taking a deep breath, he shuffled forward and headed up them two at a time, looking around.

Sure enough, when he got up there, Aqua was curled up in one of the seats near the control panel, which stretched all the way across the front of the ship, at the windshield. He stared for a moment, gazing at the flickering buttons, then glanced back over at the blue gem when they shifted and turned to see who had entered. Their eyes widened slightly upon seeing him, pupil shrinking briefly as they turned in the chair to face him, hair turning from pale grey to white. Steven held his hands up slightly, offering them a reassuring smile. "Ah, hi. It's just me, Steven," he reminded them, and they blinked, still tense, but the pale grey faded back in after a moment.

"Oh." They settled back again, and Steven took that as a sign to venture forward a little further, encouraged when the gem didn't shrink away from him, despite the wary expression written across their face as he approached. He settled in a nearby chair, keeping his distance. "Hello."

Steven smiled slightly, crossing his arms in his lap. "Hello. How're you?"

Aqua blinked and shrugged, looking toward the windshield. They stared out for a moment, frowning, before looking back at Steven. "I don't know." Steven inclined his head, silent, while the blue gem mulled his question over for a few moments longer, furrowing their eyebrows. "I'm… hm… confused? I believe." They paused, sweeping their gaze back toward him. "I don't really know why we're here. I understand this is Captain Lars's home, but it isn't _my_ home."

Steven paused for a moment, unsure what to focus on first. He definitely understood where they were coming from on that last part, though the 'captain' before Lars' name briefly made him smirk. He shook his head a little, composing himself, and took a deep breath. "Well, it could be," he offered, and Aqua blinked at him again, tilting their head. "The Earth isn't too bad once you-"

"Oh!" Aqua's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, no, you misunderstand. I don't intend to stay here."

Okay, he couldn't say he was particularly expecting that - but, again, he understood where they were coming from. He frowned, thinking, then spoke, "you know you don't have to go back."

Aqua frowned a little at that, briefly looking puzzled. "Well… no, I suppose not. The others aren't. But I do want to." They looked back out the windshield for a moment, and Steven followed their gaze briefly. He could definitely understand that, but his heart ached for them anyway. He'd felt the exact same way when he'd first shown up with the others. Wary and confused, being in a new place. Wanting, with every fiber of his being, to go back to Homeworld, but knowing that he couldn't, not without being at risk of being shattered, not without putting _them_ at risk. Even now, he had more conflicting feelings about Homeworld than he knew what to do with. "I understand that they want to be here. Captain Lars explained free will to us, the ability to make our own choices." Aqua paused again, pursing their lips in a frown once more. "But free will means I can decide to go back to Homeworld, and my Diamond, doesn't it?"

Steven nodded, silent for a moment, and took a deep breath, suddenly feeling far too unprepared for this conversation. Gazing back at them, staring at their blue uniform and the light blue diamond that rested in the center of their chest, he knew exactly who their Diamond was. He exhaled, lifting his gaze back to theirs briefly. He saw no fear or uncertainty when they spoke of their Diamond, so it was safe to assume they didn't want to return because they were scared. "You know," he started, hesitating for a moment. "Blue Diamond is… was my Diamond, too."

Aqua turned their head toward him at once, and Steven watched the grey in their hair immediately dissolve into a light pink color, an excited look flitting across their face then. "Really? Oh, she's wonderful, isn't she? So radiant and exquisite. I'd give anything to meet her."

Steven winced a little, biting the inside of his cheek. Suddenly, he couldn't help but wonder how Berry felt when Sage spoke of Yellow Diamond sometimes, knowing how different their opinions on her were. But he held no anger or resentment for Aqua, and what they were saying. Even if he'd never had a proper attachment to Blue Diamond, he knew what the Celestite was saying was… programming, embedded deep into every facet of their gem since the moment of creation. He knew Berry had loved Pink Diamond, despite whatever faults she might have had. He couldn't even recall meeting a gem on Homeworld who outright hated their own Diamond.

(He wondered, for a fleeting second, what that kind of infatuation was like.)

"I've met her," he dared to murmur. Aqua only looked further excited, until Steven managed to steady himself enough to continue quietly, "but she's… she's not what you think. She's not…" He rolled his shoulders back, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment longer before shaking his head and forcing himself to go on, "she's bad, Aqua. She's hurt a lot of gems."

Aqua stared at him for a moment, clearly not understanding. The pink in their hair faded, turning back into pale grey as they tilted their head at him quizzically. "Well, only the bad gems."

"No," Steven corrected carefully. "She's hurt innocent gems too." Aqua just continued to stare at him, looking absolutely bewildered, as Steven took a deep breath and struggled to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. "I know you think she's perfect; she's your Diamond, I get it. But she's not a good gem. She's angry, and cold, and dangerous. Not… what you think she is."

Aqua didn't respond for a moment. Their confused expression fizzled into something more akin to skepticism, scrutinizing him for quite some time, before it shifted again into something unreadable. He couldn't place the expression on their face, the emotion flickering through their eyes, but he wasn't entirely sure he'd been able to get through to them either. He had a feeling that wasn't going to be an easy thing to do; he could see it in their eyes, written on their face, when they'd spoken of Blue Diamond. It had been just as much of a struggle with Peridot and Yellow Diamond, although… admittedly, he hadn't tried to convince Peridot that Yellow was bad. He'd just tried to convince her that Earth and the Crystal Gems were better. Maybe, with time, Aqua could grow to see the same. "But I understand. She's your Diamond. And Homeworld…" He stopped, running his tongue over his lips. "... I haven't told anyone else about this, but I…"

He must have hesitated a little too long, because Aqua suddenly shifted and scooted forward in their seat, reaching out to rest a hand on his knee. He blinked in surprise, genuinely startled by the comforting gesture, then lifted his gaze back up to them. Their expression was nothing short of understanding, wide, focused eyes meeting his as their hair turned yellow again. "You can tell me. It's okay." They paused and smiled a little, and yellow shifted to pink. "I won't tell anyone."

Steven blinked, touched and surprised. Coming from a Homeworld gem, the fact that they were still showing him even a sliver of kindness despite their conflicting views on the Diamonds said a lot. They weren't too far gone. They weren't unreachable. They were… understanding. And _kind._

Encouraged, he offered a small smile and looked out the windshield again, glancing at the sky. It took him a few moments to speak again. "I wasn't made on Homeworld. I was made here, on Earth. I'm not even a real gem." Steven ran his tongue over his lips, hesitating again. Aqua simply continued to watch him, head tilted, eyebrows furrowed in an almost concerned expression, but the understanding written across their face didn't quite fade. "I'm half-gem, half-human. But I was taken to Homeworld awhile back. That's when I met Blue Diamond. She turned me into a soldier, completely and absolutely loyal to her and to Homeworld. And I…" He tilted his head toward the windshield, looking away. "It's different now, now that I remember what she's done. But I miss Homeworld. I know it's better here, it's safer here, but I still miss it a lot."

He held his breath for a moment, stunned by the weight that lifted off his chest the moment the words left his lips, the instant relief the confession brought. He felt like he could relax, just a bit.

Aqua hummed, pink hair fading back to yellow, and smiled. "Then we can miss it together."

Steven liked the sound of that.

"Yeah." The hybrid looked away, back toward the windshield, staring out toward the water for a moment. Then, with a smile, he pushed himself up and turned back to Aqua, extending a hand to the blue gem. They blinked a few times, looking up at him in curious confusion, then slowly reached up to wrap their fingers around his hand carefully. "And in the meantime, I know it's not the same, but Earth has a lot to offer, too." He pulled them to their feet. "Would you like to see?"

Aqua looked out the window for a long moment, looking contemplative. Then, their smile slowly turning into a grin, they nodded and turned back to him. "I'm sure if the other things on this planet are as wonderful as you seem to be, then it will be a fun adventure," they told him, and he couldn't keep his smile from widening a little in time. "I'd quite like to get to know the Earth."

"And now you can," Steven replied warmly, pulling back and gesturing to the stairs.

He felt a lot lighter following them out than he had when he'd entered.

* * *

Garnet and Poppy ended up joining them in exploring. They didn't quite go into town just yet; the gems seemed happy, for the most part, to roam the length of the beach. Aqua seemed intrigued by every little shell and creature in the sand; more than once, they'd pick up crabs to show them, and Steven couldn't help but smile, watching their excitement for the planet grow. Poppy was a bit more excitable; she ran ahead often, jumping behind rocks and peering into every small crack on the side of the mountain that she could find. She ended up dragging Aqua ahead along with her, while Garnet and Steven hung back. Clementine had retreated back to the beach house to see if she could get Lemon Lime to use his limb enhancers to contact the ship and see how Tangerine and the others were doing; Steven hoped they heard back soon, but considering that they'd probably already arrived on Homeworld, he didn't think it was likely.

As they reached the edge of the beach, prepared to venture to the city, Spinel and Berry caught up with them. Steven turned to watch them approach; Spinel was, quite literally, bouncing up to them, having curled both of her legs into little springs. Berry was slower to follow, grimacing as she approached them and trying not to look at Poppy, who, for the most part, looked distracted. Steven offered Spinel a small smile before turning his attention to the Ruby as they got closer, surprised that she had come out of the forge earlier than he had expected. "Everything okay?"

"Mm." Berry glanced past him, glaring at Poppy.

Steven followed her gaze, huffing out an amused sigh. "How're the weapons coming along?"

"Fine. Lemon Lime and Peridot are working through the designs." Berry paused, turning her gaze back to him, and Steven nodded faintly. "And I had to get _this_ one out of the house."

Spinel snickered, cartwheeling onto her hands and tapping her feet together twice. Steven couldn't help but chuckle, watching her for a moment. Truthfully, given what Berry had said about her, he was a little… concerned. Did she even know what had happened to Pink? Did she know who he was, what was going on? She seemed so cheerful, so happy. He remembered what Berry had said about the garden, and what Lars had said about finding her there… had she just been there that whole time? Were there any other gems? He felt like Lars might have brought them along if that was the case, and he hadn't mentioned anyone else there either…

His thoughts trailed when Spinel suddenly leaped back to her feet and looped her arms around Berry, lifting her up and spinning her around. The Ruby shrieked - catching Poppy and Aqua's attention, no doubt - and Steven backed up a little to avoid being hit as Spinel swung Berry around. "Come on, Berry, lighten up a little! All work and no play makes you a very dull gem, after all," she sang, abruptly letting go mid-twirl, which sent Berry stumbling back, staggering and nearly losing her balance. Steven turned, moving forward to help, but before he had the chance to catch her himself, Poppy had already grabbed the Ruby's arms from behind, catching her. "Oops." Spinel giggled, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "My bad, Berry," she called, and Berry just glared at her for a moment until Poppy shifted her grip to her arms instead, steadying her carefully and leaning forward with a grin while Berry went rigid at once.

"Glad I caught you," Poppy chuckled. "Berry, right?"

Berry blinked once, then again, then jerked sharply in her grip, prompting Poppy to let go instantly. "Oh, get off. Yes," she snapped over her shoulder, craning her neck to look back. She paused when her eyes fixed on Poppy, just for a moment, and stared - then shook her head.

"The name's Poppy." Poppy grinned, stepping around Berry and offering her hand. Berry looked surprised, if only for a second, glancing down at Poppy's hand. She didn't reach out to take it.

"Right… pleasure to meet you, I guess," she mumbled begrudgingly after a moment. "Hello."

Poppy dropped her hand after a few seconds, still smiling. "Hello."

"Hello," Berry huffed, and stiffened again, seeming to realize she'd already said that. Poppy giggled a little, while Berry's face flushed a deep maroon color. Steven couldn't keep the grin off of his face as he watched them, glancing back and forth rapidly while Berry cleared her throat and tried to regain a little bit of her dignity. " _Anyways._ Don't ever do that again," the Ruby growled, shooting a glare toward a beaming Spinel before turning her head to watch as Aqua slowly headed back over to them, looking somewhat wary of the other Ruby's presence. They paused beside Poppy, who still hadn't taken her gaze off of Berry, and peered at her cautiously. Berry looked somewhat curious, meeting their gaze and studying the gem. "And who are you?"

"My name is Aqua," Aqua replied, scrutinizing the Ruby just as carefully as Berry seemed to be studying them. Their hair shifted color again, from yellow, to white, to light grey, and Berry's eyes widened slightly, just for a moment, as she watched. Alright, so that definitely wasn't a normal thing even for Celestites, he supposed. "Who are you?" Aqua asked warily. "'Berry'?"

"Uh huh," Berry replied distractedly, still staring at their hair. "Yeah, I'm Berry."

"That's a nice name." Aqua nodded. "You seem nice. I like you."

Berry shot them a skeptical look at that, but it didn't take long for her to go back to studying the blue gem's hair. Steven just grinned, exchanging a look with Garnet. "You don't even know me."

Aqua blinked, silent for a moment, then murmured, "well, I'd rather like to."

It was subtle, but Steven could see the shift in Berry's expression then, the way the Ruby seemed to soften as she stared back at the Celestite. Steven just grinned, biting the inside of his cheek and rolling his shoulders back, but he paused and looked over when Spinel suddenly sidled up beside him, looping an arm around the hybrid's shoulders with a smile. Admittedly, he tensed a little at the contact at first, still a little nervous around her. He knew he wasn't Rose Quartz, he knew what his mother had done… she'd done because she felt like she had to, but he still couldn't help but feel guilty, especially faced with Spinel and Berry, when he thought about Pink Diamond's shattering. Knowing how many gems it had hurt. "Howdy-do, Steven?"

Still, he couldn't help but crack a smile. "I'm alright. Howdy-do, Spinel?" He couldn't resist a slight chuckle as he spoke the words, and for a moment, he almost felt like a kid again. He almost felt like the old him, the him he'd thought he'd left behind a long, long time ago now.

Spinel giggled. "I'm pretty alright myself, thanks for askin'!"

Steven grinned, briefly, but he paused, watching Berry finally turn to head back to the house. He hesitated a moment, glancing after her, then shrugged Spinel off gently and stepped away. "I'll be right back," he told her - though he froze a little at the way she looked at him when he said that, the way her smile seemed to drop for a moment, the way the sparkle in her eyes fell away to something deeper, something darker - but then she smiled again, and nodded, and while he continued to hesitate for a few moments, startled, he did eventually turn to follow after Berry. "Hey," he called, falling into step with the Ruby. "Um, about Spinel, does she… know about…?"

"The off-colors told her." Berry's expression shifted, just for a moment, as she glanced over at him, then back over her shoulder to the others. "We… spoke about it. She's, understandably…" The Ruby hissed out a sigh through her teeth, looking ahead. "She has… mixed feelings would be putting it lightly." A moment of silence passed before the Ruby admitted quietly, "she hasn't said anything about it, but I think Pink left her in the Garden after she was given the Earth."

Steven stared ahead for a moment, then glanced back, Spinel's reaction to his words flashing across his vision for a moment. "That… was six thousand years ago, wasn't it? You think…?"

"All I'm saying is I wouldn't be surprised." Berry quieted for a moment. "I wish I could say I was."

Steven blinked at that, trailing his gaze back to the Ruby. "... are you okay?"

Berry huffed a little, but for the first time, she didn't shoot him a glare at the question. Just paused, looking up at the sky, then fixed her gaze on the beach house ahead of them, looking contemplative, before offering a slow nod in response. "I will be." She stopped walking, turning to face him again, and inclined her head toward him briefly. "Peridot's weapons should be finished by tomorrow. I expect you'll want to assist in her training."

Steven nodded, slowing to a stop. "Of course."

"Good." Berry glanced past him briefly, then turned. "Then I'm going back to work."

"Good luck," Steven called after her, watching as she simply waved a hand back toward him and continued on her way. He stayed where he was for a moment, then took a deep breath and turned back to where the others were; Spinel had joined Poppy in excitedly looking around, and Aqua was trailing after the two of them silently, holding and inspecting another crab. Garnet had paused to look back at him, adjusting her visor as she waited for him to catch up with them again; Steven hesitated for a moment, rolling his shoulders back, then headed back over again. "You guys ready to keep exploring?"

"Well, we woooouuuld buuuuuuut…" Spinel suddenly stretched her arm out, a great distance, mind you, to press a finger against his nose, and the hybrid stilled in surprise. "Tag! You're it!" With that, she took off with Poppy in tow, while Aqua and Garnet just stared after them.

"What," Steven finally mumbled, shaking his head.

"Looks like you're it," Garnet commented, then offered him a nudge. "You should go get them."

"But I thought-" Steven shot a confused look in Aqua's direction, but the blue gem merely shrugged at him, looking bewildered. "We were- I- … okay…" He shook his head, puzzled. It wasn't exploring, but… it was still technically a break. Although he would admit that playing tag wasn't exactly how he'd intended to spend the rest of his day, it wasn't the worst thing, either.

Spinel paused some distance away, turning to yell at them, "you know how to play tag right?!"

"I don't," Aqua declared simply.

"I do," Steven sighed, stepping closer to them and offering a faint smile. "I'll show you. C'mon."


	6. Chapter 6

With nothing else to do, really, they played tag until Pearl called Steven in for lunch.

By the time they retreated back to the house, the hybrid was… exhausted, but he was okay. Spinel, Poppy and Aqua were proving to be pretty great company, and Spinel in particular was pretty good at making him forget about his troubles for a good few hours. She put new spins and twists in the games they played, making up new rules for tag that Steven would never have thought of, making such a simple game so beautifully complex. He had to admit that he was grinning as they retreated back to the beach house, with Spinel's arm looped tightly around his own and Poppy and Aqua keeping pace with the two of them, both of them giggling excitedly. Aqua seemed comfortable now; their hair hadn't changed from yellow since they'd started playing, and they were openly smiling and joking with Poppy, so that was good. The Ruby herself was currently in the middle of boasting about how she'd won; Spinel rolled her eyes, although not with any real irritation, nothing but amusement sparkling through her gaze now.

"So what is this 'lunch', anyway?" Spinel asked suddenly, nudging Steven as they headed up the stairs, and the hybrid let out a low hum as he pulled away briefly to open the door for her.

"Well, humans have to eat. Since I'm half-human- I mean, I don't technically have to, I can survive without it, but it's like an energy source," he explained as she ducked inside, waiting for Poppy, Aqua and Garnet to follow before he stepped in. "Basically, I have to consume this stuff called food three times a day - breakfast in the morning, lunch in the middle of the day, and dinner when the sun goes down." He tilted his head toward the window. "It's kinda complicated."

"It sounds fun!" Spinel exclaimed, flipping onto her hands and doing a cartwheel. Aqua looked a little intrigued, as well; Steven couldn't help but grin, shaking his head, as he headed to the counter to where Pearl was as she slid a plate in front of him. "Can I try the whole 'eatin'' thing?"

"Sure," Steven began, fully prepared to offer Spinel some of his food, but Pearl stopped him.

"You eat yours, Steven," she tsked, resting a hand on his head affectionately, and he smiled a little despite himself as he leaned into the touch. "I made more than enough. I thought Greg was going to stay and eat, but he had to go to the car wash." She pulled back and Steven paused, glancing back briefly to take a quick look around. Clementine was sitting on the couch, he finally noticed, though Lemon Lime wasn't with her - but she was holding his old limb enhancers. Berry must have given them to her; Steven had let the Ruby keep them, considering he didn't really plan on wearing them ever again. Clementine had put one of them on, using the fingers to form a screen, but judging by the frustrated look on her face, she wasn't having any luck with it yet.

He frowned, staring for a moment, then turned back to his food. Spinel had taken a seat while Pearl slid a plate in front of her, and Poppy and Aqua were quick to poke their heads around the pink gem to watch as she sampled the food. Steven didn't pay too much attention, admittedly - his focus shifted, instead, to Pearl, who was watching Spinel with an almost wary look on her face unbeknownst to the other gem. She stood tense, hands twitching. He almost thought she was doing to do _that_ again, cover her mouth like she usually does, but she remained still.

Steven really needed to talk to her about that. It was… it was eating at him, consuming his mind in an ever-present uneasiness knowing that Pearl was keeping something from them regarding Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz and all of it - and he really wanted to figure out what it was.

Picking at his food for a moment, he resolved to do so. Asking questions was frowned upon on Homeworld, but this wasn't Homeworld, and Pearl wasn't his superior. She was the closest thing he had to a mother. And she'd kept secrets from him in the past, but things were different now. He deserved to know these things, didn't he? He'd always deserved to, but now maybe, hopefully, they'd be able to accept that at this point, it was better for him to know than _not_ know. In this case, with that heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, it definitely felt like this was something he should know. Hopefully, when the time came to talk to Pearl about it, she'd agree.

And yet, watching as she forced herself to turn away from Spinel, he knew it was a stretch.

* * *

The day came and went faster than Steven expected it to. He spent most of it in the house after that, though since Spinel eventually lost interest in food and wanted to go back outside, Garnet ended up taking her and the others into town by herself. Steven would have gone with them if he didn't plan on trying to talk to Pearl about Pink Diamond and Rose; he didn't want to bring it up with Spinel there, for sure, and he'd rather the conversation simply be more private in general because he wasn't sure if Pearl would open up to him, much less if anyone else was there to hear. So he waited, spending most of his time browsing through the television while Clementine worked with his limb enhancers. They didn't seem to be doing any good for her, because she ended up discarding them on the coffee table after a while and sank back with her arms crossed over her chest. Steven tried to assure her that they were probably already on Homeworld and not in the ship anymore anyway, but he knew it wasn't particularly comforting. Thankfully, she perked up when Candy returned to fetch her for Kiki, the two of them having been invited to yet another sleepover at the Pizza family. Hopefully that'd cheer her up a bit.

When Connie showed up, Steven ended up climbing up onto Lion's back while the pink beast relaxed on the floor, and Connie settled down beside them with a chuckle. "Where's Peridot?"

"She's with Amethyst, Bismuth, Berry and Lime in the forge," Steven murmured, pressing his cheek into Lion's mane. He startled a little when his head started to go through, jerking upright again so fast he nearly fell off of him, and Lion simply blinked up at him lazily. It took a moment for Steven to remember the animal had practically a pocket dimension in his mane, and even longer to adjust to such a memory. He frowned for a moment, running his fingers through Lion's fur carefully to make sure it wouldn't happen again, before finally settling down and putting his head back down with a quiet hum. "Anyway, I can take you there if you wanna go say hi to her."

"No, that's okay." Connie, who had previously been giggling at Steven's startled reaction to nearly falling face-first through Lion's mane, seemed to sober up instantly, and he understood why. He fell silent, twisting his mouth slightly as he ran his fingers through Lion's fur again. "I can just wait 'til she gets back. I don't have anywhere else to be," she joked, and chuckled.

Steven managed to crack a smile, albeit a distracted one.

Connie's smile faded, watching him for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Steven murmured instinctively, then pursed his lips in a frown and glanced back down at his best friend. Connie offered him a skeptical look, and he sighed. "I'm worried about her."

Understanding flickered across the human's face. She managed a tiny smile, though it didn't reach her eyes this time. "Yeah… me too. I know what it's like… sort of," she added quickly, glancing away from him for a moment. Steven just blinked, watching as she reached up and ran her fingers through Lion's mane briefly before continuing reluctantly, "I mean, losing your best friend. I know you weren't actually dead or anything, but I didn't know that at the time, y'know?" Connie paused, lifting her gaze to where Pearl stood at the counter, busy folding clothes and humming to herself, unaware of the hushed conversation just behind her. "The first few weeks, I mean, everyone tried to stay hopeful, but… then the gems said you were probably… and I…"

It didn't matter how many times he heard it, or realized it; his heart continued to ache for his friends and family every time it dawned on him how much his sacrifice had really hurt them. Knowing now how awful such emotional and mental damage can do even in comparison to physical, Steven couldn't help but wonder if he really had made the right call back then after all. Not to say they would have been better off dead - but they would have been better off _fighting._

(Although, remembering what Aquamarine could do… had it been a fight at all?)

He shook his head, dismissing the thoughts, and slid down to sit beside Connie on the floor. Carefully, he reached out to take her hand in his like Peedee had done a while ago, like Pearl did whenever he needed comfort, and squeezed lightly. Knowing any apology he tried to offer would be met with astonishment and indignance, he simply settled on murmuring, "I'm here."

It did the trick. Connie smiled slightly and squeezed back, and this time, it reached her eyes.

He didn't get the chance to talk to Pearl alone that night just yet, although he wasn't too torn up about that - he still wasn't really sure what to say. He withdrew himself for the most part as Peridot and the others returned, watching briefly as Connie got up to approach her, cautious and careful as ever, until Amethyst tore his attention away by offering to play one of the video games with him. He accepted, but only because there wasn't really anything else to do, and he knew just sitting around and zoning out and losing himself in his own thoughts wouldn't be too good for him right then. So he played a few rounds of one of the newer Lonely Blade games (and won) until Greg came back and cooked dinner. Garnet returned not too much later without Spinel, Aqua and Poppy, who were apparently busy 'wearing themselves out at Funland'.

Steven decided not to mention that Funland was closed at this hour.

While Steven ate, Peridot and Berry did their best to explain the concept of Peridot's new weapons to a curious Connie. "They're basically metal," Berry told them, sitting back on the coffee table beside the TV. Steven nodded faintly, remembering Peridot had mentioned something about that while the Ruby continued, "but enhanced with most of the same materials that make up other weapons, like Steven's scythe. Or these," she added, summoning her knuckles as a brief display before letting them diminish again. "Considering her abilities at the moment are more restricted to simply _moving_ metal rather than manipulating it, she might need a boost from my ability enhancers for it to work, but she should be able to manipulate the metal into whatever form she chooses. She could have one large weapon, or several smaller ones. And since it would be the same concept as a normal weapon, she'll be able to carry it with her."

"That's really cool!" Connie exclaimed, practically starry-eyed. Berry preened at that, and even Peridot offered a smirk. Steven just chuckled, finishing off the rest of his food and getting up.

"Ready for bed, Schtu-ball?" Greg hummed, watching as he put his plate in the sink.

Steven paused, briefly glancing out the window. Shards, it was already dark, wasn't it? He probably should try and sleep now, although he didn't know how much luck he would have. "Yeah. Though…" He looked toward the bathroom for a few seconds, thinking. He'd been running around earlier and he'd gotten a little sweatier than he would have liked, and such a feeling practically stuck to his skin at that point. And it was impossible not to compare it to how hot he'd felt during the battle on the Pyrope Colony. "... I think I'm gonna take a shower first."

"And I should probably get home," Connie realized suddenly, checking her phone. She didn't seem worried or nervous, however; if anything, she giggled once she saw the time, jumping to her feet to put her own plate in the sink. "Gosh, yeah, it's late. My mom's going to kill me."

Steven giggled a little, himself. "I think they'll understand."

"Maybe," Connie agreed, smiling as she pulled him into a hug, and he buried his face into her shoulder for a moment, smiling to himself as he melted into her arms. Then she pulled back, maybe a little too soon because it immediately left him aching for another one, but he only grinned at her as she pulled away. "I'll see you tomorrow. Come on, Lion," she called to the pink beast, who reluctantly pushed Pumpkin away with his muzzle and got up to trudge over to her.

"Bye, Lion." Steven ran a hand over his muzzle briefly, and Lion leaned into the touch with a quiet grunt before turning to follow Connie outside while the others exchanged their goodbyes. The hybrid gazed after them for a moment, then turned and headed upstairs to get his pajamas so he could shower and go to bed. He wasn't nearly as exhausted as he'd been last night, but he'd definitely tuckered himself out with the others earlier. He couldn't help but mused, as he gathered his things and headed to the bathroom, that despite knowing gems didn't technically need to sleep, as hyper as Spinel was, he'd be surprised if she didn't crash every now and then.

* * *

Later that night, after he'd exchanged 'goodnights' and Pearl and Greg tucked him in, Steven had only closed his eyes for a moment _before opening them to find himself somewhere else._

" _-but this is what you wanted!"_

_He froze for a second, eyes snapping open even wider as the voice registered. A cold, angry voice filled with nothing but disdain, contempt. A voice that usually haunted his nightmares anyway - but never like this. This was different. He knew he shouldn't be hearing what he was hearing now; it usually took him a while even after he'd woken up to realize that Blue Diamond wasn't there, but he knew with absolute certainty that she wasn't supposed to be here now. Terror seized him completely for a moment, nausea rolling through him; he could practically feel himself breaking into a cold sweat already as the freezing yet burning feeling of fear coursed through his veins. His chest heaved as he lifted his gaze, daring to look up and head of him._

_His pupils shrank slightly, resting his gaze on Blue Diamond first. It was only a shadow, a silhouette, but he could make out her form even with her cloak draped over her, hood pulled up. Behind her stood Yellow Diamond, hands clasped behind her, facing away from the other. And… just in front of Blue Diamond stood a much smaller figure, arms behind her, head ducked._

" _You begged us for a colony of your own-" Blue Diamond's voice grated at his nerves, made his heart pump a little quicker, but he kept his eyes rooted to the smaller figure, "-and now all you want to do is be rid of it! First there were too many organics, then their cities were too difficult to dismantle, and- and now these 'Crystal Gems'?" Steven's gaze snapped back up to Blue Diamond at that. He couldn't see her face, but he could picture the disgusted expression he knew she would have worn to match her tone as she spoke the words just as clearly as if he were seeing it, and it sent a shiver down his spine, shuddering through waves of terror as he pushed himself back against what felt like a wall. "We're tired of your excuses, Pink," the Diamond hissed, and Steven's breath caught in his throat, the realization settling in abruptly._

_He looked back at the smaller figure in shock while Blue Diamond continued._

" _This 'Rose Quartz' can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly gems!" At this, the smaller figure - Pink, that was_ _ **Pink Diamond**_ _\- raised her head and opened her mouth, but she stopped when Blue Diamond lifted a hand to cut her off, raising her voice slightly. "Enough!"_

_Steven flinched, body spasming slightly as he rolled his shoulders back and straightened up instinctively, wide eyes wandering back up to focus on Blue Diamond's silhouette once again._

" _You must understand…" Blue Diamond's voice softened, just for a moment. Steven watched her hand shift, fingers curling under the smaller figure's chin as she lifted Pink Diamond's head back up to look at her. "You are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you. You don't even have to do anything. Just smile and wave." Blue Diamond straightened back up, and Steven found himself shrinking down in response, glancing from one to the other. "Show everyone you're unfazed by this little uprising. Your gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more." She clenched her fist, as if to emphasize that, and Steven flinched._

" _As long as you are there to rule," Blue Diamond continued, "this colony will be completed."_

_They left, leaving the smaller silhouette standing alone, and Steven sucked in a shuddering breath as he watched them depart before slowly turning his gaze back to Pink Diamond. She stood absolutely still, almost like a statue with her head bent downwards. For a moment, just a moment… Steven could feel it. He felt the desperation and anger coursing through her as if it were his own. He felt frustration and longing, the desire to be heard. He felt inadequacy, confusion and fear. But the strongest one was a sudden rush of pure, absolute determination. It mounted higher and higher, and Steven just watched her for a moment as it grew, not even noticing when another figure approached. He only realized it when they got just close enough to stand behind Pink; he gasped, breathing in as if to call out a warning - the figure was holding a sheathed sword, one they slowly drew from the scabbard as they stopped - but he froze._

_That… that was Rose's sword._

_That was…_ _**Pearl.** _

_He watched, wide-eyed, as Pink Diamond slowly turned around. Pearl stood at attention, holding the sword up for her, and the taller gem reached down to take it with a quiet sigh. "They won't listen to me." Her voice was distorted, but soft. Steven tried to focus on her, but he found his gaze drawn back to Pearl more often than not. "I think it's Rose's turn to call the shots, huh?"_

* * *

He woke with a start, jolting sharply under his blanket as his eyes flew open, gasping for air that never seemed to quite be able to make it to his lungs, and stared up at the ceiling in shock.

Outside, birds chittered and chirped, announcing the beginning of a new day.

Steven glanced at his window and breathed in, holding his breath for a few seconds, and let it out in a slow huff as he pushed himself to sit up, raising a hand to his head. It settled over his mouth eventually, cold against his skin, as he struggled to process what he'd seen and heard. First with Blue Diamond and Pink Diamond, and then with… with Pink Diamond and Pearl? And- _("I think it's Rose's turn to call the shots")_ what did that even mean? What did this _mean?_

He had more questions now than ever.

And he was even more determined to get answers.

* * *

When he came downstairs, the only two in the house were Greg and Pearl. Greg was fast asleep on the couch, however, and Pearl was already making breakfast by the time Steven had gotten dressed and headed down to greet them, presumably having already heard him shuffling around in his room. He hesitated at the bottom of the stairs for a moment as she turned to him, meeting her bright smile with a nervous gaze. "Good morning, Steven. Did you sleep alright?" She turned briefly to turn the stove off, picking the frying pan up, and Steven bit the inside of his cheek. He'd laid in bed for a while, taking some time to think, but now he was having doubts. What if he was wrong? What if it had just been a dream, something his mind had come up with? He'd already been thinking about Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz and Pearl before he'd gone to bed. It had felt so real, _seemed_ so real… yet he knew how easy it was for his mind to trick him.

"I…" Steven paused, taking a quick look around, and blinked. "Um… yeah. Where is everyone?"

"Hm?" Pearl blinked and turned back to him, putting a plate on the counter and setting the pan down to pile up a few pancakes onto it. He dared to venture a little further after a moment, taking his seat on one of the stools. "Oh, yes. Peridot, Berry and Lemon Lime went back to the forge, and Bismuth accompanied Amethyst on a mission." She slid the pancakes over to him, then placed two pieces of toast down on the plate before turning to the fridge. "I'm not sure where the others are, but I think Garnet went to go get Spinel and the other two from Funland…"

Steven pursed his lips, staring at the plate for a moment. Spinel. That was an opening, but he wasn't sure whether to take it or not. He hesitated, while Pearl opened the fridge and grabbed a cup, briefly turning to look back at him. "Do you want water or milk?"

"Um." _Milk_ , he wanted to say, but instead he blurted out, "can we talk about Pink Diamond?"

Pearl froze for a second, staring at him. The hybrid sucked in a sharp breath, ironically almost covering his mouth in response to his little outburst. The pale gem continued to stare at him for a few seconds longer before shutting the fridge and turning back to him. "Is this about the sword thing?" She asked carefully, making her way back over to the counter, and he shook his head.

"No. It's," he began, pausing again, and ran his tongue over his lips. "It's just, um… I had a… I just don't understand," he finally confessed. "And last night I had a dream about Pink Diamond, and Blue Diamond, and Yellow Diamond, and then you were there-" Pearl stiffened at that, her hands twitching slightly again as she reached up as if to cover her mouth, but they didn't quite make it. Steven stared for a moment as he went on, "and Pink Diamond mentioned something about Rose calling the shots and it was all really confusing and I didn't really understand it but- I don't- I just didn't know what to make of it but- you were there, right? You know what happened."

"I-" Pearl covered her mouth, and Steven frowned.

"Why can't you talk about it?" He watched her carefully, as she struggled to pull her hands away from her mouth, and something else clicked as he stared. "... you really can't talk about it…"

Before he could ask any more questions, and before Pearl could succeed in ripping her hands away from her mouth to speak, the warp pad shimmered to life and Steven turned his head to look as Berry touched down, along with Peridot and Lemon Lime. The Ruby seemed to pause for a moment, as did Lemon Lime, when they saw Pearl, but Peridot hopped right off of the warp pad with Pumpkin in tow and made her way forward to where Steven was. "Steven! Check it out." The green gem looked excited as she raised a hand to her gem, summoning an axe. Briefly taken off guard by her sudden energy, the hybrid slowly tore his gaze away from the others to watch, albeit distractedly, as she shifted the axe into a sword, and then a scythe, and then began splitting it apart to form a bunch of what looked like the little sharp, circular weapons he often saw them use on Lonely Blade. Ninja stars, he thought, but he wasn't too certain.

Still, he managed to smile, biting the inside of his cheek. "That's pretty cool, Peridot."

Peridot smirked briefly, spinning the ninja stars around herself. He managed to get a better look as they drifted a little closer; they were mostly black, though that faded into a bright, neon green closer to the center. They looked as beautiful as they did sharp and deadly. "Oh, I know. Quite simple to maneuver, too." She diminished them back to her gem and looked around while Pumpkin jumped up into Steven's lap. "Where's Garnet?" The Peridot asked suddenly.

Pearl was quickest to speak, and Steven jumped, flinching, when she managed to tear her hands away from her mouth at last. "Oh, right, she went to find the others! I should go see how she's doing. I'm going to do that. Don't forget to eat your breakfast, Steven, it's the most important meal of the day, you know!" As she spoke, she made her way over to the door swiftly, and Steven stared after her, exchanging a quick glance with Berry. The Ruby didn't look nearly as bewildered as Steven felt right then, though there was a flicker of confusion in her eyes as she looked back and forth between Steven and Pearl, before the pale gem left the house.

"That was weird," Peridot commented, but she moved on quickly enough. "Where's Amethyst?"

"With Bismuth," Steven replied faintly, staring at the door. "On a mission."

Peridot groaned, sinking back onto the sofa by the window. "I'll wait." Pumpkin left Steven's lap to join her, although the hybrid hardly noticed. It took him a second to tear his gaze away, shaking his head.

After a few moments, Berry made her way over to him. "I need to talk to you," she told him simply before heading to the door, leaving much swifter than Pearl had. Steven cast a quick glance toward his food - he really didn't have an appetite at the moment, but he'd try to shovel some down later - before finally heaving himself up and turning to follow, offering a confused looking Peridot and a worried looking Lemon Lime a reassuring smile before he left the house. Berry was waiting for him near the rail, stretched up on her toes to peer down at the beach, and she spoke as Steven made his way over to her, "what was that about? What'd you say to her?"

Steven frowned for a moment, puzzled. Berry sounded less accusing and more genuinely curious, albeit somewhat cautious. He had a feeling she knew more than she'd been letting on recently, too - but unlike with Pearl, he knew Berry wasn't going to leave him without answers. Although he'd been starting to doubt that Pearl's inability to discuss the topic of Pink Diamond and Rose was… a _choice._ "Well… I… I told her about a dream I had about the Diamonds… and Pink… and Rose Quartz… and her." Berry glanced over at him at that, intrigued, and the hybrid took a deep breath and went on to explain what he'd seen. By the time he finished, the Ruby had that familiar blank look on her face, the look Steven knew meant the gears in her head had started churning faster than ever. Finally, with a frustrated look, she glanced away and sighed.

"You shouldn't ask her any more questions." Berry paused, flicking her gaze across the beach. Steven just blinked, confused. "I suppose you've never heard of a Diamond seal, have you?"

He hadn't, but it had the word Diamond in it, so he was pretty sure it was bad. "No."

"A Diamond seal," Berry began, finally turning to face him. Steven looked down at her, eyebrows furrowed. "Is an order that prevents a gem from revealing certain information or something meant to be kept secret. Only a Diamond has the power to give one, and only a Diamond has the power to remove one." She went silent for a moment, and Steven sucked in a quiet, shaky breath. "Breaking a Diamond seal is nearly impossible. In some situations, depending on how the order was given or how specific it was, it's been proven that there could be loopholes, but trying to break one directly… could break _her_. It could damage her gem or even her physical form. Permanently." Berry narrowed her eyes, glancing back at the beach. "She's under a Diamond seal. Which means even if she wanted to tell you whatever it is, she can't. At the very least, she shouldn't attempt to. I don't know how far it can go before it causes her harm, and…"

"I don't want to find out," Steven breathed, horrified, as he pressed the back of his hand over his mouth. Oh, stars… every part of him ached for Pearl right then. She was always so proud of herself for not 'belonging' to anyone, for not having to carry out a Diamond or _anyone's_ orders. But it turned out she was still carrying one, one she couldn't break without _hurting_ her. He cringed at the thought, ducking his head for a moment, and Berry glanced back at him briefly. "What do we do?"

"Just make sure she doesn't try to break the seal." Berry grimaced, turning to him again. "I don't know _what's_ going on, hybrid. I don't know the specifics of the order, I don't even know where to begin looking for answers, because she's the only one that has them and she can't give them. But I do know that something isn't right about this whole Rose-shattered-Pink thing." Berry paused for a moment, her expression darkening briefly. "And I do intend to figure out what it is."


	7. Chapter 7

A few days passed.

For Steven, it all happened very quickly. He'd adjusted to Peridot's return and the arrival of Lars and the off-colors without much of a problem, learning to relax around his old friend somewhat the way he used to. For the most part, she seemed determined to keep herself busy training, which Steven was happy to help with whenever it was requested of him. Mostly it would be Peridot up against Lemon Lime, as they both used long-range weapons since Lemon Lime had his bow and Peridot preferred to use the ninja stars, and Berry and Steven alternated between watching and training a little, themselves, more or less to keep their skills sharp. They managed to convince Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl to join in, and while Garnet and Pearl mostly stuck with Bismuth on the sparring side of things, Amethyst often joined in with him, Berry, Candy and Clementine whenever they would face off. And sometimes Steven alternated with Lemon Lime and Peridot, sometimes he joined in with Garnet, Pearl and Bismuth; it wasn't a perfect training system, not nearly as efficient as they'd had on Homeworld, but it worked for the most part.

On another note, he found himself floundering a little without Agate and Sage there to direct the training. Berry kept things up on that end for the most part, but she seemed to be trying to coax Steven into taking the lead on some things. Which wasn't too unusual for him - he'd trained Quartzes back on Homeworld, after all - but he wasn't used to it here on Earth with his _family._ Connie ended up joining in on the action after a few days, showing up to spar with the gems and Bismuth, and while Steven had tried to ensure she stuck with them - considering how _intense_ things could get with his friends - Berry had convinced him it'd be good for her to learn some things in case she had to fight when the time came; Steven had caved pretty quickly after that.

It was stressful, but he was adapting pretty quickly to that, too. Lars had managed to coax the off-colors into learning how to fight so they could at least defend themselves, and the gems had been teaching them some things recently. Spinel, however, wasn't satisfied simply being on the defensive side of things, and after watching one sparring match, had decided she wanted a scythe like Steven's. After a bit of a back and forth between a skeptical Berry and a _surprisingly_ serious Spinel, the Ruby had eventually agreed to construct the pink gem a scythe of her own. In the meantime, Steven let her use his own scythe to practice and set her up against Candy; while they did their thing, he went to assist the gems and Bismuth in training the off-colors. Thankfully, that was more his area of expertise, and they proved to be rather quick learners.

(He also noticed a few little things, catching his attention from time to time. Like how Berry, after she'd actually spoken to Poppy a few more times, seemed to always be a much darker shade of red around the other Ruby whenever they spent enough time together. Such a thing only got worse when Poppy started training with them, and Berry had been a little too happy to use Spinel's scythe as an excuse to stay out of the arena, but not for the same reasons as usual.

No, he knew what that kind of blush meant. It was the same kind of blush Amethyst got when Pearl started humming or sat too close or showed off a particularly graceful fighting move. The same kind of blush Greg used to get whenever he spoke about Rose. It happened whenever Poppy cracked a joke, or called Berry over to show her a move she'd learned, or just _smirked._

Steven wasn't oblivious, and his friend didn't seem to be either.)

Aside from training, Steven didn't really devote his time to much of anything else. Of course, he did the normal human things like sleeping and eating and stuff, and he spent time playing music with Greg if he had any free time, but he tended to stick to the training arena. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like something big was coming, something important they needed to prepare for, and Steven was _going_ to be prepared when it came. When the Diamonds came. He couldn't let them catch him off guard, he couldn't be as unprepared as he felt like he was. The others understood; they were happy to train with him as long as it didn't interfere with his health, and Steven made sure to take care of himself. Another thing was that the ever-intensifying training led to the use of his healing abilities and frequent trips to Rose's fountain more often than not (since it was easier than going and trying to heal every individual wound that had received), which Steven didn't really mind. Connie would accompany him often when he went, and the hybrid had no objections to just relaxing in the water for her a bit and letting himself drift.

During one visit, Steven wasn't sure how, but the topic of Pink Diamond and Rose came up again. "Berry said we shouldn't try to ask her about it," he was explaining, having just described his dream. He was floating in the water, drifting along while Connie sat at the edge of the fountain with her toes just barely submerged in the water. "I don't know what else to do, though. She said she was gonna see if Spinel knew anything, but I don't think so…" He trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek. "It's not like I have to know, you know? Especially not now that I know Pearl could hurt herself trying to tell me anything. I don't want that. It's just… kinda frustrating?"

Connie nodded faintly as he finished, exhaling softly in relief once he'd gotten that off his chest. It felt nice to just talk about this stuff, to just vent a little, and Connie seemed more than happy to let him. He guessed it had something to do with what she'd said before, when he'd just showed up on Earth without many of his memories, about just being glad he was talking about this stuff with her now. He realized, for the first time, how much he really left her out of things, even before he'd sacrificed himself to Homeworld. How much he shut her out, even accidentally, in an attempt not to worry her. He did it with everyone, but with Connie, it had been just a little worse - because he felt like he'd had to protect her more than the others, because she was a human, because she was a part of the Earth, a part of the planet that he had vowed to protect with the Crystal Gems. Not much had changed on that front, except he'd realized it wasn't just his job to.

"You know…" Connie trailed off, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully. "What they said about Pink Diamond making excuses not to go through with the colony, and then the end of the dream… kinda makes me wonder if she and your mom had been working together to protect the Earth." She looked toward the statue briefly, and Steven twisted his mouth. He'd thought about that, but it didn't make much sense to him. If they'd been working together, why would Rose shatter her?

Unless… Rose _didn't…?_

He shook his head a little, appalled by the thought, and looked up.

"I don't know… if they were working together, why would Rose shatter Pink Diamond? … But," he started and stopped, biting the inside of his cheek and furrowing his eyebrows slightly. It was puzzling, it was _frustrating._ They really didn't have a clue what was going on. The only one that knew anything was Pearl, and as Berry had said, she couldn't even tell them anything. He thought about it for a moment, eyebrows furrowing, then looked up. "You… you might be onto something. If Pink Diamond really was secretly on their side, even at first, maybe that's why mom bubbled Bismuth for wanting to shatter her. But then I still don't understand why she…" The hybrid stopped again, while Connie narrowed her eyes, thinking. "But… then the Diamond seal… if they were working together… Pink Diamond could have ordered Mom to keep quiet…"

Connie frowned, scooting back to cross her legs. "You think Pink silenced Pearl?"

"Maybe," Steven replied hesitantly. He shifted, rolling over slightly to swim back to the edge of the fountain. "Berry said only a Diamond could give one, so I guess it could've been any of them. But Mom would have been with Rose or Pink Diamond, and… the only reason I can think of as to why anyone would try to keep her from talking about Pink Diamond is because Pink herself was trying to make sure she couldn't tell anyone that they were working together." He frowned. "She can talk about Rose shattering Pink, but she can't talk about the specifics…"

Connie fell silent for a moment, looking thoughtful as she stared at the statue. Steven pulled himself up out of the water after a moment, shaking his hair out. "Steven," Connie began suddenly, hesitantly, "what do you think the odds are that one of the Diamonds shattered her?"

Steven breathed in shakily through his teeth, snapping his gaze up to the human.

_("No, whoever did this was already close to Pink Diamond._

_Someone her guards would allow to get near her, someone she would listen to when asked to stop her palanquin and step outside, and someone with the authority to cover it up afterwards! Someone with_ _**supreme authority** _ _. Someone like… one of_ _**you** _ _!")_

With a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, Steven stared at Connie.

"I'd say," he managed, "the odds are pretty good."

* * *

"Supreme authority," Berry repeated blankly when Steven told her later, locked away in Bismuth's forge. Lemon Lime sat nearby, sketching the blueprint designs for Spinel's scythe. Although, he seemed less interested in sketching and more interested in what the two of them were saying, because he hadn't taken his gaze off of them since Steven had come in to tell Berry what he and Connie had figured out. "I mean… I…" Berry looked… uncharacteristically uncertain for a moment. "Yellow was a… hardass, as you say, but she would never have…"

"And why would Blue Diamond go through all this to punish me for a crime she knows _Rose Quartz_ didn't even commit?" Steven marveled, biting the inside of his cheek with a frown. "No, she genuinely believes that Rose shattered Pink Diamond. So it couldn't have been her either."

A moment of silence passed before Lemon Lime spoke the words neither of them were daring to say out loud. "What about White Diamond?" The Peridot said quietly, and both Steven and Berry turned their heads to stare at the green gem. "I mean… isn't it a little suspicious that she locked herself away right after Pink Diamond was shattered? Supposedly, nobody's even heard from her since the beginning of Era-2. And if you're right about this, could you imagine what she would have done if she found out that Pink Diamond was secretly working with the Crystal Gems?" Lemon Lime shook his head, almost looking somewhat anxious at the thought himself.

"She would have been furious," Berry whispered. "She would have been _livid._ White Diamond thrives on the idea of this perfect Empire. To find out one of her own was working with a _rebel…"_

"There'd be no greater betrayal," Steven finished quietly. "No greater _disgrace."_

He couldn't name the expression that flitted across Berry's face, a mixture of grief and anger and confusion. He couldn't imagine how complicated this was for her, knowing how much she'd loved Pink Diamond and knowing how much of a cruel joke this must feel like, learning that everything she'd thought for so many years could have very well been a lie. Berry was silent for a moment, staring at the floor, then abruptly turned and grabbed one of her wrenches, chucking it at the wall. Steven flinched as it struck, bouncing off and skidding across the floor, as Berry lifted her hands to press them into her eyes, smoke and flames already beginning to rise from her curls. The hybrid took a few steps toward her as Lemon Lime hopped up, shuffling over.

Grief truly was an endless nightmare, something you never get over but learn to adjust to.

(This right here was proof of that.)

He took a breath and dared to rest his hand against Berry's shoulder while Lemon Lime knelt down in front of her and pinched one of the flames out of her hair. It disturbed him, for a second, that the Ruby didn't even bother to push them away at first. She stood still with her hands pressed to her eyes and let Lemon Lime fuss over her, let Steven's hand stay on her shoulder. Then, in just a few moments, she was pulling away from them, rubbing her arm over her face, and the rest of the flames flickering through her curls sizzled to nothing, smoke dissipating.

"Are you okay?" Steven asked softly, stepping closer. Lemon Lime simply sank down completely to sit on the floor, watching Berry carefully as the Ruby sighed and brushed her hair back. It took her a moment to look at them, first at Steven and then at Lemon Lime, before she just nodded. At this, Steven took a breath and turned, taking a few steps away to retrieve the wrench.

"I will be." Berry watched him as he headed back over, setting the wrench down.

Steven sat down beside Lemon Lime, exchanging a glance with the worried-looking Peridot. "Well…" The green gem began hesitantly after a moment. "Then Rose Quartz was innocent."

"If we're right," Steven murmured. "So I was wrongfully punished."

Berry offered him a scathing look at that. "You were wrongfully punished regardless."

Steven winced a little, mostly out of frustration for himself. Lately it had been harder than usual to remember that he wasn't 'Rose Quartz'. He always realized it too late, always snapped back to his senses just after he'd said or thought something that would have felt so natural to him back on Homeworld. It wasn't a complete loss of memory as it had been before, but for a second in time, every now and again, it was an ever-so-brief relapse. "Right. What I mean is, if we're right about this, then all of it - me being punished, being a wanted war criminal, Blue Diamond hunting us down… going to battle so soon… Mandarin and… and Lapis being…" The words trailed for a moment, the realization dawning far too quickly, "... it was all for nothing…"

All for nothing, he realized, this didn't have to happen because Rose Quartz was _innocent._ He should have never been on trial for her crimes because she was _innocent._ Because she'd been framed - and for what? For the murder of Pink Diamond, who had been shattered by White Diamond. This didn't have to happen because the one responsible for all of this was safely tucked away on Homeworld, locked away in her own head, without a care in the universe at all.

(And Steven would never, _could_ never, hate another gem as much as he hated Blue Diamond herself, but at the moment he could say with certainty that White Diamond was a close second.)

"What do we do?" The hybrid finally asked, shaking his head.

"What we've been doing," Berry murmured, frowning. "We can't exactly prove anything right now, and I'm… not sure how the Diamonds would react if we tried to tell them White was the one who shattered Pink. The stars know I can't begin to imagine what Yellow would say." He could have sworn her saw a flicker of concern flit across her face briefly, but he wasn't sure.

"What about the others?" He looked toward the door for a moment.

"Well, _they_ should definitely know." Berry's frown deepened, thinking. "Although… Pearl… considering she can't talk about Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz's… relationship aside from Rose supposedly shattering Pink, it's possible that Pink was the one to silence her. And considering that if White had any reason to keep Pearl quiet in the first place, she could have just shattered her to make sure she couldn't say anything. It's possible she doesn't even know." The Ruby narrowed her eyes a little, and Steven leaned back on his hands, biting his lip. "... until we figure out the specifics of the order, we should probably keep Pearl out of all of this. The last thing we need is for her to end up trying to tell us something and breaking herself in the process," Berry finally grumbled. "The good news is we're a little bit closer to figuring it out."

"I can talk to Garnet, Bismuth and Amethyst about it," Steven offered. "They'd know if Rose ever mentioned anything about White Diamond when she was alive. Maybe they know something."

"Let's do that." Berry turned away while Steven and Lemon Lime stood up.

"I'll keep working on the design for the scythe." Lemon Lime cracked a grin, raising a hand to form his screen with the fingers of his limb enhancers while Berry shuffled over to the door. "I've got some ideas already. Good luck with the whole solving the mystery thing," the gem called, and Steven giggled a little as he turned to follow Berry, waving a quick goodbye to the Peridot. He caught up with Berry on the way to the warp pad, keeping pace beside her, and sighed.

"Definitely a mystery." He quieted for a second, looking toward Berry. The Ruby was silent, rubbing her hands together, that blank look written across her face. The hybrid took a moment to study her intently before reaching down and offering her shoulder a nudge. "Are you okay?"

"Haven't you gotten sick of asking me that yet?"

Steven smiled a little. "I'll never get tired of checking on my friend, B."

Berry glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, silent for a moment, but she relaxed again after a few seconds, heaving out a quiet sigh. "Am I okay, learning that my Diamond was shattered by a completely different gem than I originally thought? No, no I'm not. At least I could somewhat understand Rose Quartz's side on the matter. I knew it wasn't okay, but I got it. There was still a _reason_ to do it, whether it was a good one or not. But if Pink was secretly part of the Crystal Gems and working with Rose Quartz, trying to do the right thing, and got shattered for it?" Berry shook her head, appalled. "The fact that I never even thought, for a second, that she could have been on the right side of things, when all she ever tried to do was be _good?_ She was trying so hard to change. And apparently she did. And I never knew…" She stopped, wincing, and lifted her hand to press it into one of her eyes again, just under her visor. "Ah, forget it."

Steven frowned, reaching down to rest a hand on her shoulder, pulling the Ruby to a stop. She grimaced a little as she turned back to him, still covering one of her eyes; the other one glistened slightly with the threat of tears that hadn't quite formed, but he knew they were close. Frown deepening a little, nothing but concern and sympathy churning in his chest, the hybrid knelt down and opened his arms up a little, a clear invitation for a hug. Which seemed to be all he was able to do lately, dealing with his grieving friends. He knew that it wasn't really enough.

But still, when Berry accepted the embrace after a few seconds of hesitation, Steven held her as tightly as he'd held Peridot for a moment, just keeping her close until she pulled away from him. He ducked his head a little, catching her gaze before telling her quietly, "it's gonna be okay."

Berry managed to crack a small smile, rubbing her hand over her eyes under her visor and adjusting it slightly as she nodded. "I know it will." She hesitated, glancing away. "... thank you."

He only smiled back at her in response, and they headed off again.

* * *

It wasn't hard to single Garnet, Bismuth and Amethyst out to talk to them. Berry led them to the strawberry battlefield - a good idea considering that, especially now that the ship was gone, nobody tended to go there anymore. Steven still couldn't help but feel somewhat on edge as he wandered through it with the Ruby at his side and the other three flanking them, but he tried not to focus so much on the weapons, instead choosing to study the strawberries, and occasionally a butterfly whenever one fluttered close enough to him. Berry pressed a little closer to him during those particular events, glaring at the winged creatures as if they'd insulted her, so Steven ended up shooing them away more often than not for the Ruby's sake, however. It's not long before they reach the spot the ship used to be at, however, and Berry finally stopped walking. He also realized why she'd chosen this location; eerily vacant, no butterflies around.

He paced around the Ruby, approaching the edge of the small field while Berry shifted her full attention to the other three. "So we've got a few things to discuss regarding Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond." Berry paused to look back at Steven as she went on, "and if you'd like to pay attention during this discussion, hybrid-" He immediately turned back to her at that, putting a bright smile on his face before letting it drop to a softer, amused one, "-that would be lovely."

"Right, sorry." Steven ventured back over to them. "It's been a while since I've been here." He looked back over his shoulder, taking in the weapons again, and pursed his lips. _And it's probably best if I keep it that way. This place makes me… uncomfortable._ He bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head, and turned away while Berry shifted her attention to the others.

"What's goin' on?" Bismuth asked warily, glancing between them.

"We think Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz were working together," Berry said bluntly.

There was a moment of silence; Steven studied their expressions carefully for a few seconds. Bismuth looked more openly shocked than the other two; Garnet shifted a little in surprise, and Amethyst's eyebrows shot up immediately, while the rainbow-haired gem's mouth fell open.

Maybe a little too blunt, but what was done was done. Steven pressed on, "I had a dream about Pink Diamond, Blue Diamond, and Yellow Diamond. They were talking about how Pink kept making excuses to not go through with colonizing the Earth." Bismuth's eyes widened even further at that as the hybrid continued, "toward the end of it, Mom - Pearl," he clarified quickly, glancing at Bismuth. Everyone else had grown pretty used to him referring to Pearl as 'Mom' now, but he figured he should try to make things clearer. "Came in with Rose's sword, and Pink said something about it being 'Rose's turn to call the shots', and then that's when I woke up."

"Damn," Amethyst said after a moment, blinking owlishly at them. "That's a plot twist."

Berry gave her a weird look while Bismuth shook her head and put her hands up. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, _wait._ Hold on a moment. You're tellin' me Pink Diamond was secretly a-"

"Crystal Gem," Berry interrupted. "That's _exactly_ what we're telling you."

"And we think White Diamond shattered her," Steven cut in before Bismuth had the chance to ask the question he just _knew_ was on the tip of her tongue. Everyone seemed to freeze at once. Amethyst's pupils shrunk slightly, even, as her gaze snapped back up to the hybrid. Garnet went rigid, a hand frozen near her visor, and Bismuth's hands stayed in the air, palms facing toward Berry and Steven, for a good few seconds before she dropped them again, looking stunned.

"Holy schist," she said quietly after a moment.

"Definitely a plot twist," Amethyst said, looking uncomfortable. " _White_ Diamond?"

He stared at her for a few seconds, and furrowed his eyebrows.

_("You know, I wish my Diamond could get a load of you right now." An Amethyst knelt before him, a familiar, malicious smile written across her face. He peered up at her through his lashes, trying not to appear as daunted as he was by the shadow of darkness that obscured her face. Her smile widened to a grin, pressing a destabilizer under his chin, and he jerked his head up away from it with a startled huff. "Taking orders from Blue is so tedious - but this… this is fun."_

_Steven narrowed his eyes, but he bit back what he wanted to say. "Who's your Diamond?" He asked instead, eyes on the destabilizer. The Amethyst paused, looking at him almost curiously. Then, with a smirk, she reached out and grabbed a handful of his hair, and he had to bite his tongue to keep back a yelp when she yanked his head forward and leveled the destabilizer under his chin again. He breathed in sharply through his nose, tilting his head up as much as he could and trying to ignore the feeling of the electricity crackling against the skin on his neck. He knew better than to fight during his punishments. This was fine. His Diamond would let him out again soon, and he could go back to training, and_ _ **she**_ _wouldn't be able to hurt him out there._

" _Well." She tapped the destabilizer against his neck. "You can't tell anyone, Rosie, this will just be our little secret." She leaned in, her breath cold against his face. "But I'm a special Quartz, you see. I don't belong to Yellow or Blue. My Diamond is the magnificent_ _ **White Diamond**_ _.")_

He blinked a few times, tearing himself out of the memory with a scowl. A special Quartz, indeed. Out of all the Amethysts who had been in charge of his punishments on Homeworld, she had been the worst. She always seemed to take such a sick kind of pleasure in hurting him whenever she could, and she made damn sure he was screaming before she left him again. The others, he'd admit, he'd grown pretty desensitized to. None of them seemed to be able to stab a destabilizer into the right spot between his shoulders, or twist it just enough so his legs go numb. None of them were able to push the same kind of buttons she'd been able to push.

The hybrid grimaced and turned his attention back to the others. Berry was explaining the concept of a Diamond seal to them now; Garnet and Bismuth seemed familiar, but Amethyst looked absolutely horrified. "She kept… after…" Her eyes darted toward Steven, and the hybrid furrowed his eyebrows. "After Steven… she kept trying to tell me something, but she couldn't…" She lifted a hand, brushing her hair back so that both of her eyes were completely visible, before letting it fall back in front of her face again. "I had no idea that she _couldn't_ tell me, I just thought she was like… really… upset or something…" She trailed off, looking rather troubled, and glanced back over her shoulder to where the warp pad was. "God… I had no idea that…"

"I never even thought…" Garnet frowned, lifting a hand to diminish her visor, and exchanged a glance with the other two. Berry chose that moment to look back at Steven, and the hybrid met her gaze briefly, shaking his head a little. If they knew anything, they'd have said so by now. They were just as lost on this as they were - but at least they knew now. That was important.

Berry frowned, glancing away again. "Did Rose ever mention anything? About any of them?"

Garnet hesitated. "... Rose never had much of anything to say about the Diamonds."

"Yeah, no." Amethyst huffed out a laugh, but it was a little strained. "Even when she told me about Homeworld and the Kindergartens and stuff, right? She never like, explicitly mentioned the Diamonds straight up. She said there were rulers and stuff, like a whole Kingdom thing gone wrong or whatever, but Garnet's the one that told me about Blue and Yellow and… White." That uncomfortable look was back, just for a moment. "Well, Pearl told me about White. Um, kinda."

Berry perked up a little at that, a mixture of surprised and curious. Steven furrowed his eyebrows at that, inclining his head toward Amethyst cautiously. "What'd she tell you?"

"She didn't tell _me_ ," Amethyst mumbled. "She told Rose I reminded her of one of the Amethysts in White's court or something like that. I don't know. It was way, way back after they found me." 'Uncomfortable' shifted to 'somewhat pained' pretty quickly, but she masked the expression. "Anyway, I asked Pearl about it like… way later and-" She shrugged. "I don't know, she just said I shouldn't worry about the Diamonds or anything, especially not White 'cause she was…" The purple Quartz raised a hand, swirling her finger beside her temple, and Steven frowned a little.

"Reminded her of…" He shook his head, puzzled.

Berry eyed him, frowning. "What?"

"I knew the Amethyst in White's court. She was one of the many in charge of my punishments," Steven admitted begrudgingly, and Amethyst stiffened slightly. "I don't see why you'd remind Mom of _her_ , though. She's nothing like you. If anything, she's more like Jasper, but worse." He twisted his mouth, thinking, then sighed. "Maybe there was another one… but she was the…"

Amethyst paused at that, clearly not knowing what to focus on. " _Worse_ than Jasper?"

" _Worse_ than _Jasper,_ " Steven affirmed, scowling.

Amethyst made a face, then sighed. "I… I don't know, man. All of that was kinda way before Pearl and I got… used to each other. She didn't really like me at first." She paused, and a faint smile tugged at her lips for a moment. "Oh, but you couldn't tell now, huh? She _looooves_ me."

Steven giggled a little at that, allowing a mischievous smile to tug at his lips. "Yeah, she does."

Garnet smirked.

Bismuth cleared her throat, rolling her eyes. "Alright, back on track…"

"Right." Berry sighed and frowned, shaking her head. "Listen, don't mention any of this to Pearl. And if you do, because I can't exactly stop you, at least make sure she keeps her mouth shut. Maybe she can nod and confirm or something, but don't let her try to talk. She'll hurt herself." She brushed herself off and headed past the others. "I've got to get to work. Lemon Lime should be done with the design about now, then I can continue training. Speaking of which, hybrid-"

"I'll go help Spinel now." Steven paused. "Send Lime when he finishes the blueprints."

Berry nodded, disappearing. He heard the warp pad shimmer to life a moment later, watched the stream shoot up in the air and dissipate again almost at once, and rolled his shoulders back.

"Wait, so…" Amethyst turned back to him. "What're we gonna do?"

"Right now, we can't do anything," Steven admitted. "I mean, we don't even have proof aside from my dream, and that's not really something I can show to the Diamonds to convince them. And at the trial, one of the Zircons got kinda into the whole defense thing and accused Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond of shattering Pink Diamond, and Yellow Diamond poofed her. So I'm not really looking forward to how they'd react if we told them that White Diamond did it." He ran his fingers through his hair and managed a hesitant smile. "So for now, I guess we train."

Garnet and Bismuth frowned, exchanging a glance, but after a moment, Amethyst offered a mischievous smirk and summoned her whips. "You know what? I'm good with that. Let's go."

Steven smiled slightly, following her as she headed off, but paused. His eyes strayed toward a cluster of rocks beside the warp pad; most of them were crushed, but some of the smaller ones were… moving. He ventured a little closer while Amethyst warped away, peering down at them. It was faint, almost unnoticeable, but they were rattling, almost buzzing, against the ground. Then, just as quickly, they stopped, and Steven blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes slightly. He didn't know what to make of that. It could be his eyes playing tricks on him; he did have a bit of a headache since Clementine had thrown him headfirst into the stairs in the arena earlier.

Still, he waited for Garnet and Bismuth to catch up so he could mention it to them - couldn't be too careful after all. They all waited a moment to see if it would happen again, but it didn't. He found himself glancing back as they stepped onto the warp pad, staring at the rocks - until the warp pad activated and the stream took them out of his sight yet again - before turning away.

"I'm sure it's nothing, Steven," Garnet assured, seeing his disgruntled look. "Just the wind."

Steven only nodded, staring at the warp stream.

She was probably right - though 'sure' and 'probably' did little to comfort him these days.


	8. Chapter 8

It was quiet for a few more weeks, slow and steady. Steven adjusted quickly to their new routine, as the gems made sure he balanced battle training with his basic human necessities. He pushed forward, rising up under the pressure instead of letting himself crumble, and he watched the others do the same. Spinel proved to be dangerously skilled with a scythe, a natural at it as he had been. Poppy and Aqua, with their mace and pickaxe respectively, were forces to be reckoned with when they were fighting side by side. The Rutile twins had a two-part chakram, one half for each of them that they could combine into one if they needed. Rhodonite had a machete, interestingly enough; Steven and Berry took their time fawning over both weapons for a while before they went back to training and working respectively. As for Fluorite and Padparadscha, admittedly, they weren't too good on the field; Padparadscha's slow adjustment to everything going on around her and Fluorite's severe lack of speed made it difficult for them to fight, but Greg was content to keep them company while the others trained.

Within the first week, Berry finished Spinel's scythe and presented it to her during a training session. It was roughly the same size as Steven's, and had several different shades of pink across it. The blades on either side were curled; one end, the larger blade, only curved downward somewhat, but the other end curled close enough to and up pointing back upward toward the blade itself. Hanging from the smaller one, from some sort of string, a perfect, smaller copy of Spinel's gem hung; there were also three more of those, one at the base of the scythe, at the very bottom, and two more clasped into place where the scythe met the blades. As he fawned over it with Spinel, he couldn't help but grin at all the hearts littered across it; there were several little white ones leading down to where the base was. The design in itself…

… it was absolutely gorgeous.

"And now the training can _really_ begin," Berry told them, arms crossed as she stepped back. Spinel moved back a little too, starry eyes fixed on the scythe, then abruptly lifted it up to spin it around her. It wasn't something he was unfamiliar with - he found him doing the same thing, somewhat, whenever he was bored enough, and she tended to do it quite a lot during training. She lifted it up, twirling it above her like a helicopter blade for a moment before turning and slashing out toward Steven without warning; he managed to summon his shield in time to block the attack, and wasted absolutely no time in summoning his scythe at once to swing back at her.

He couldn't help but smile to himself, watching the way the fake gem hanging from the scythe dangled and swung whenever she lashed out, but he was quick to shift his focus to the fight.

"That looks amazing, Berry!" He heard Poppy gush, and he couldn't help but smirk as he deflected another swing from Spinel and slashed sideways at her, managing to snag her shoulder with the scythe. She twisted and jerked away from him, looking one arm around to snatch the top part of his scythe and yank it away from both of them to slash down again.

As he blocked it with his shield and stepped back to avoid getting hit when the shield broke in response, he heard Berry's uncharacteristically quiet mumble of, "yeah, I know…" before the Ruby quickly excused herself to where Lemon Lime and Peridot were currently sparring.

He didn't have to look to know that she was blushing, and he wasn't going to risk doing so.

So he simply smirked at Spinel, jerking sharply and twisting to sling her back toward the stairs before she had a proper chance to let go of his scythe again, and lunged without waiting for her to get back to her feet when she crashed backwards. Her… stretching abilities made fighting with her a lot more interesting, if he was being completely honest; she could do things others couldn't, shift her body to accommodate to the fight and find any weaknesses or drop in defense. She managed to spring up and out of the way, bouncing high into the air, and Steven stopped just as swiftly to launch himself up after her. His floating abilities were something he was trying to experiment with; Berry had mentioned, off-hand, a few days ago that he could probably use a mixture of his floating abilities and his shield to create something of a hoverboard, like how Peridot had started doing using the metal trash can lids with her powers.

Steven smirked and summoned his shield under him before he had the chance to stop falling, and managed to level it midair, frozen for a moment, before diving back downwards as Spinel fell. He was still a little shaky; he didn't know how to completely control it just yet. He could move up and down, but turning and stopping was an issue for him when he started speeding up. It was also an issue when Spinel didn't give him a chance to reach her before she stretched her arms up, grabbed the edges of his shield, and started swinging it around. He got off pretty quick.

(It was actually one of the reasons he liked sparring with her so much, though, because she challenged him. Without Tangerine there and with Berry mostly being busy working or training with Peridot and Lemon Lime, nobody else could quite match him in a fight the way they could. But Spinel was with him every step of the way, blow for blow; it was exciting, it was _interesting._

It was _fun._ )

He landed, skidding back across the floor of the arena on his feet, and Spinel let his shield drop again with a smug smirk while the hybrid simply summoned another one. "What'sa matter, Steven?" She called, and he grinned, twirling his scythe as he readied himself to attack again. "You're letting me kick your butt pretty hard." The pink gem snickered, adjusting her grip on the scythe and hefting it up over her shoulder to swing, and Steven paused to glance her over, thinking for a moment, before lunging. This time, when she stepped back to dodge and slash, he was quicker to deflect the blow with his shield and lashed straight out for her without pause.

The scythe sliced her diagonally, from her shoulder to her side, just barely missing the gem. He held his breath for a moment, seeing that, but allowed himself a quiet sigh of relief when she simply started giggling just before she poofed, her gem unharmed and intact. He'd been through the routine with her only two other times, having only managed to poof her twice before when they fought; he caught the gem before it could fall and was quick to set it down, backing away.

She reformed still laughing, eyes alight with excitement, and he smirked. Only to pause, catching a glimpse of a star at the base of one of her pigtails, where a hairband would be.

"Hey!" He diminished his scythe and shield at once, shuffling over. Spinel just beamed at him and turned her head, pigtails swinging, to better show off the new addition to her form. The star was white, not too big, but it definitely stood out against the dark pink pigtails. It was only the one, as well, he noted as he circled around her and grinned. "That star suits you, Spinel."

Spinel blinked and smiled at him, nothing but warmth in her gaze. It was a surprisingly soft expression, lacking all of her usual excitement and hyperactivity, but her gaze wasn't dull or sad or too serene, just… soft, and gentle, and calm. "Well, I figure I'm one-a you Crystal Gems now." She chuckled and shook her head, and Steven smiled as he raised a hand to run his fingers through his hair, briefly taking a moment to check on his earrings and make sure his ponytail hadn't come loose before he dropped his hands again. "And the star is your branding thing."

"Branding-" Steven couldn't help but snicker.

Spinel only giggled, then smirked. "How's about round two?"

"You're on."

* * *

The next two weeks went by almost cautiously; time moved, and yet stayed frozen at the same time. They continued to train. Steven spent less time in the beach house, taking his meals with him to the training arena when he had to eat. He didn't quite distance himself from his father, but he didn't see him as often anymore unless Greg came down to watch them every now and then. ("It's okay, kiddo. I understand," the man had assured him once, ruffling his hair as the hybrid prepared himself to head back down to the arena with Spinel. "I know this is what you gotta do.") He was grateful, of course, but he still couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He knew he should be taking the time to relax and enjoy being back home, but he didn't feel like he could. If anything, as the days went by, he found himself growing more and more anxious by the second. Once again, he brought up these concerns to the gems; Garnet admitted she couldn't see anything in the near future, but she also admitted her future vision had been fritzy since Steven had given himself up to Homeworld, so they all simply decided to keep their eyes open for now.

Each day, he asked Clementine if there were any updates on Agate, Sage and Tangerine yet, wondering if they'd even thought about trying to get into contact with them yet or whether they simply didn't consider the idea. Each day Clementine would shrug and frown and mumble, "haven't heard anything" before she went back to training with a worried look on her face. Steven wished he could say something, anything, to try to reassure her, but he didn't know what he could say. At the very least, he didn't know what he could say that would convince him, too. So he just kept his mouth shut and pushed forward, shifting his focus to the off-colors' training.

They were doing pretty well; Poppy had gotten a few good hits on him, and Aqua - though they seemed nervous about actually hurting him - was pretty skilled with that pickaxe of theirs too.

The third week came and went. On Saturday, Amethyst finally suggested they all took a break. Steven had reluctantly agreed, but only because almost everyone else had first. Taking the weekend off wasn't too bad, but he still couldn't shake that feeling in the pit of his stomach. But he still put his scythe away and agreed to at least try and relax a little with them; they watched movies, played video games. Even Peridot eventually joined in, and although it was with some great reluctance, Steven thought she started to enjoy herself a little when she and Lemon Lime locked themselves in a video game war. Steven had to admit, for just a moment, as he watched, he briefly forgot about everything else. It was nice to just relax with them, to just… exist with all of them for a moment, without having to worry about anything, but he knew it wouldn't last long.

His point was only further proven when the house started rumbling.

It was subtle at first, so subtle that Steven didn't notice it. Berry was the one who lifted her head, an alarmed look rapidly flitting across her face, and that was what snapped Steven to attention. Everything else happened very quickly after that; the rumbling got louder and harder until the entire house was shaking, shuddering, and Peridot and Lemon Lime were quick to drop their controllers and summon their weapons. Steven heaved himself up, gem pulsing as he summoned his scythe, but he froze with his eyes locked on the window as a shadow passed over the porch and the beach, the familiar whir of a ship reaching his ears as the house shook.

His breathing hitched on an inhale while Berry jumped to her feet. "Weapons," she ordered sharply, and Candy and Clementine wasted no time in obeying as they stood up. "Get ready."

"Is it Homeworld?" Pearl gasped, pushing herself up and summoning her spear. Bismuth was on her feet at once, hands shifted into pickaxes. Amethyst followed suit with her whips, pressing close to Pearl with a scowl on her face as she stared at the door. Garnet was slower to move, a somewhat trapped expression on her face as she heaved herself up from the couch, frowning.

"No…" Garnet froze, and the whirring grew louder.

Steven stared in silence, watching the shadow stop moving across the beach. Everything froze for a moment; time stood still as they waited for the ship to lower. It wasn't Blue Diamond's ship, but that granted him very little relief. Especially once the shadow shifted and seemed to turn, and then abruptly started moving back toward the house, at a much quicker pace than before. Garnet was quicker to move then, grabbing Greg's arm and yanking him toward the warp pad. "We need to get out of here," the fusion yelled. "Amethyst, get Greg to safety-"

"What about Steven?!" Greg exclaimed, and Steven froze for a second, glancing back.

"I'll be-"

" _Incoming!"_

Steven snapped his gaze up, pupils shrinking, and barely managed to encompass himself and the gems around him - Amethyst, Pearl, Lemon Lime and Candy - in a bubble in time. He heard the warp pad activate at once, looking back in time to see Greg's form disappearing behind the warp stream, but Garnet managed to get herself out, forcing herself through the stream before it had the chance to lift her up and carry her away as well, just as the ship crashed into the house.

The window shattered, glass flying, everything went numb for a second as Steven felt the ground disappear from underneath the bubble as they went flying backwards. He heard screaming, sounds of surprise and horror and fear and _pain_ , but he couldn't see anything but blurs and motion now as the bubble rolled and bounced, smacking back against the far end of the temple. He flattened himself back against it before it suddenly popped on its own accord, leaving him and the other gems to crash to the ground. Bits of wood and other debris fell around them, hanging from the ceiling; in just a split second, the house had been _demolished._ The ship, large and sharpened to a point in the front and only inches away from where Steven was now, rested completely still in the middle of the wreckage, not even rumbling. The hybrid stared at it for a moment in shock before snapping his gaze around in search of the others, heart sinking.

Then Lemon Lime screamed - a horrible, terrifying, gut-wrenching, unintelligible sound - and heaved himself up to lunge forward. Steven's protests caught in his throat, which clamped shut tight on him almost immediately, the second his eyes rested on what, exactly, he was going for. Among the debris, pieces of the wrecked house, Berry's gem glittered. His head spun, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened while Lemon Lime dug through pieces of wood until he could wrap his mechanical fingers around Berry's gem, holding it close to him. " _Berry!"_

"Is everyone else alright?" Pearl called out shakily as Candy made her way to Lemon Lime, a horrified look in her eyes. Steven heaved himself up after a moment, every part of him shaking, and stumbled after the pink Pearl. He couldn't even focus on the ship; his gaze locked on Berry.

"Is she cracked?" He choked out as he reached them, and Lemon Lime shook his head.

"No." The Peridot swallowed, tears in his eyes, then sucked in a shaky gasp. "Peridot-!"

"I'm alive," Peridot's voice groaned, faint and somewhat muffled. A piece of wood moved, trapped under part of the wall, and Peridot managed to poke her head out, looking dazed. Steven rushed over at once to help her out, and Amethyst followed quickly, wrapping her whips around the part of the wall so that Steven could lift most of the wood up for her to crawl out.

After a second, Clementine's voice called out, "we- we're okay-!"

"Poppy?" Garnet called. "Aqua?"

"Spinel?" Steven yelled, breath hitching slightly.

"Alive!" Spinel yelled. Then a pause, and some shuffling, "oh… oh no… Aqua poofed…"

There was a short burst of flames and Poppy shoved herself out from under a pile of debris, glaring daggers toward the ship for a moment as she shook herself free. "Is everyone okay?"

"We think so," Amethyst mumbled, turning back to Peridot. "Yo, you good?"

Pearl suddenly shrieked. "Bismuth! Where's Bismuth?!"

"Right here!" Bismuth yelled back, coming into view briefly before disappearing around the side of the ship. A moment later, something slammed against the side of it, and there was a sharp, loud screeching sound, like something sharp scraping against metal. Steven cringed despite himself, clenching his fists tightly for a moment before managing to summon his scythe again. "Get out here, you pebbles!" The rainbow-haired gem yelled, and there was another sharp clang; this time, the ship rocked on its side a little, just briefly. "So we can put you in a bubble!"

Slowly, one by one, everyone else began to group back together. Poppy stalked over to Lemon Lime, looking at Berry's gem worriedly. Spinel was quick to follow, Aqua's gem cradled in her hands. Pearl and Garnet came up behind them, and Clementine and Rhodonite weren't far behind. Steven couldn't see the Rutile twins, but Rhodonite had her hands, shaking, cupped tightly around something he couldn't quite see, and he realized, heart sinking, it was their gem.

Bismuth stepped back toward them, tense, as something in the ship clicked and whirred. Steven tried to stare through the windshield, heart pounding against his chest so hard that it hurt, but he couldn't see who was inside. Not until there was a sharp hiss and the door started to open, and an unfamiliar voice called out, soft and sickeningly sweet, "is that any way to greet a friend?"

He watched Bismuth freeze, and Pearl's entire body shudder in surprise as she jerked back.

Clementine sucked in a breath that didn't come back out.

Garnet growled and murmured something, a low grumble Steven didn't catch.

(He didn't think he needed to.)

Lemon Lime stepped back, Berry's gem in his hands still, as the ship opened completely. The gem that stepped out wasn't really like any gem Steven had ever seen. Her gem glittered on her chest, black and triangle-shaped. Her hair was fluffy, and black, curved upwards into three distinct points that somewhat reminded him of a helmet. A dark grey cape flounced around her as she moved, not long enough to reach the ground, but toward the bottom of her knees, where a pair of light grey boots met her pants. She also wore a pair of black gloves, which she fiddled with as she made her way forward, only pausing when she reached the bottom of the ramp that had opened to let her exit, and she smiled at them, sharp and cold enough to make him freeze.

"Well, well, so many of you in one place." The gem paused, grinning. "Oh, did I _crash_ a _party?"_

"Melanite," Pearl said quietly.

" _You,_ " Clementine snarled, moving forward. Candy stopped her quickly, putting a hand on the Jasper's shoulder, but Clementine didn't move her gaze from Melanite, who merely smiled.

"Pearl, Garnet," she greeted, only sparing a glance toward Clementine before rooting her gaze back to the others. Garnet lowered her chin, visor flashing, and Pearl's hands curled into fists, held tightly at her sides. "It's so _lovely_ to see you again! It's rather funny, isn't it? I assumed you'd died. But no, you've been here this whole time. And you." She rounded on Bismuth then, and Steven was surprised, just for a moment, when the rainbow-haired gem seemed to flinch. "Well, I do have to say I'm surprised to see you alive and well. But isn't this fun? A _wonderful_ little reunion. Ah, but, I'm not here just for you." Melanite paused and turned her head, and Steven's breath caught again, anger and wariness churning in his gut, as she stared at him. The corners of her lips twitched, tugging upwards, and she lifted her chin. "If it isn't _Rose Quartz."_

Steven stared at her for a moment, stomach twisting, but the rest of his fear rapidly dissolved into fury. This was the gem that had shattered Mandarin. This was the leader of the rebels, the gems that he'd been sent into war to fight against, the gems that had attacked Homeworld directly, and the gem that had the _audacity_ to come to Earth. The rage that engulfed him was enough of a courage boost to make him step forward, ignoring the other gems' warnings, so that he could get a better look at the gem in front of him. His grip on his scythe tightened, just briefly.

This was the gem that had attacked his planet. His home.

_(Both of his homes.)_

"It isn't," he snapped. " _I_ am Steven Universe."

Melanite's lips twitched, an amused expression crossing her face. "It's quite a pleasure."

Steven stared at her for a moment, regarding her silently, then replied quietly, "it won't be."

"Oh, goodness, I've made the wrong impression, haven't I?" Melanite laughed, glancing back at her ship briefly, and Steven narrowed his eyes. "Put your weapon away, darling, I'm not looking for a fight yet. No." She turned back to him, still smiling. "No, I'm here to make you a deal."

Despite himself, he scoffed, while Clementine hissed, "you're not in a position to make _deals."_

Once again, Melanite ignored her. Her focus was all for Steven, and the hybrid couldn't take his gaze off of the gem in response. "Come back to Homeworld with me," she declared after a moment. Steven's eyes narrowed further, fingers curling tighter around his scythe, until his knuckles turned white. Melanite stepped forward, but Steven didn't retreat; he met her gaze as she approached him, until they were face to face. "And I'll leave everyone else here alone."

He remembered a time, so long ago, he'd been faced with this same kind of dilemma. Except the choice hadn't been offered to him, he'd come up with it himself, a last-ditch effort to save his friends and family. He'd done so willingly, unprompted; now he stood here faced with the same choice. Different circumstances, different gem, but the same choice. And maybe, almost a year ago… no, not maybe. Almost a year ago, he'd have replied immediately. He'd be talking to her, trying to reason with her. Or he'd simply go along with her, hoping he could change her mind before any damage could really be done. He'd do whatever he could to diffuse the situation. But now he simply gazed at her, feeling nothing but contempt, because Clementine was right. She was in no position to make deals. She didn't get to come to his planet and demand _anything_ from him after what she'd done.

The hybrid managed a smile, calm and cold. "No thanks."

"Oh…" Melanite tilted her head and grinned, showing her teeth. "I was _hoping_ you'd say that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Spinel's scythe](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/753658824581185566/798190859375083540/spinelscythe.png)  
> aaaaand the new arrival [Melanite](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/365686721393983489/795466526114840596/unknown.png)  
> !


	9. Chapter 9

There was a half a second pause as Melanite summoned her weapon.

It wasn't the breaking point, Steven didn't think at first, because it didn't look like the weapon that Bismuth had presented to him so long ago. It was a scythe. She held it almost carelessly, casually at first, then lifted and hefted it up, and Steven found himself stepping back without his own permission. The handle was curved outwards toward the blade - which curved downwards to a perfect, thin point like a claw - and the shorter blade, on the other side, was more like the end of a spear, another sharp point that made the hybrid recoil just looking at it. He also noticed a chain hooked onto the blade, winding around the handle of the scythe, and dangling from it swung an upside down triangle, not unlike the black gem glittering coldly on Melanite's chest.

He kneaded his own scythe in his hands, startled by the sudden rush of fear that had engulfed him, but also the absolute thrill that suddenly shot through him at the promise of a fight. The conflicting emotions didn't make for a good combination - but even so, when she lunged at him, he found himself grinning for just a split second before he managed to swing his own scythe up, a more defensive motion than offensive, to block the attack. She didn't slash down at him with the blade yet; instead, she spun it around and swung the bottom of the scythe at him, and he caught a glimpse of another sharp spear-like blade on the bottom as he summoned his shield.

The blade slammed into it, and he barely managed to jump back as it broke almost at once. He heard the gems yell out, the familiar shimmer of them summoning their weapons, but he kept his focus pinned on Melanite as she spun the scythe again and lifted it up to slash down at him.

He breathed in, steadied himself, and met the attack dead on. He slammed the blade of his scythe up against the handle of her own and twisted sharply to deliver a harsh kick to the stomach, sending her slamming back into the ramp of the ship she'd crashed into his house. To her credit, she didn't quite lose her balance; she stayed upright and on her feet, and her grin only seemed to widen further as she pushed herself forward and readied herself to attack again.

The others came out of nowhere.

He heard the gems rushing to come to his aid, although he didn't quite need it at the moment. He saw a blur of pink as Spinel lunged, scythe in the air, and Melanite was quick to shift her focus to the other gem seemingly out of necessity to block her attack. Steven stepped forward, watching warily as they fought for a moment, but he was caught off guard when another gem suddenly launched themselves at him, too quick for him to know what was happening, much less dodge. It wasn't long before the handle of a weapon was pressed against his throat and he was pinned back against the wall, staring up wide-eyed into the familiar face of Angel Quartz.

"Hey there, meatball," she crooned, pressing the weapon harder against his throat, and the hybrid choked in a gasp, fighting for as much air as he could get. "Remember me, sweetheart? Because I sure as shards remember _you_." She forced his chin up and Steven cringed, frozen for a second, fingers grappling for a better hold on his scythe, until the pressure suddenly relieved.

Amethyst, whips in hand, turned and slung Angel Quartz back and away from the hybrid, finally letting Steven catch a proper glimpse of the chaos raging around them. In just a few minutes, the house had become a battlefield; horrified, Steven could only stare, watching as rebels and the Crystal Gems clashed. He recognized some of the gems fighting on Melanite's side - some of them were rebels he'd fought in the last moments just before Homeworld had retreated. Some of them, like Angel Quartz, were ones he'd fought personally. Gems he'd poofed. Gem's he'd seen on Homeworld again, after they'd been rejuvenated. Gems he'd _trained_ on Homeworld. His mind spun as he struggled to make sense of it, make sense of why they were fighting for Melanite again now, why they were here. They'd been reset. He'd seen them when…

His heart sank for a second, looking around. They hadn't been prepared for this at all.

They'd been training for so long, trying so hard to prepare - and nobody had seen this coming.

A rebel lunged for him - Candy Cane, he recognized immediately. He'd never forget those markings. He stepped back and slammed the blunt end of his scythe forward against her stomach, then spun it again and slashed the blade up at her throat. They fought for a second, dodging and deflecting each other's blows until Steven finally managed to poof her, kicking her back into the wall he'd just been pinned again and slashing his scythe through her stomach.

He bubbled the gem without a moment's pause, battle instincts in full gear, and turned. He could see Melanite, still near the ship, fighting Spinel and Clementine now. Every instinct screamed at him to rush in and help them, but his focus shifted back to the others. They were struggling; Amethyst and Angel Quartz were blow for blow, Lemon Lime was doing his best to fight while trying to keep a hold of Berry's gem, and he didn't even know where Aqua and the Rutile twins gems were either. Bismuth was fighting through the crowd, seemingly with the intent of getting closer to Melanite, but there were too many. The thought struck something painful in his chest.

_("We can't retreat! We're so close!"_

" _There's too many of them.")_

There were too many now. They'd been completely unprepared for this, and four gems were already out of commission. The hybrid gritted his teeth and scowled, turning as another rebel lunged at him, and was quicker to poof them before he threw himself right back into the fight.

He made his way to Garnet. Garnet was the leader. Garnet was the one Amethyst and Pearl took commands from. He'd admit that, at first, he sought out Berry - he'd take her orders in a heartbeat - but she wasn't there. He might not have fought beside the fusion in his first battle, but they were fighting together _now._ And he'd fought corrupted gems with her. He trusted her. He needed to trust her with this. He needed to trust her to know what they needed to do here. So he fought his way to her, through the rebels, and slammed the blade of his scythe into the back of the rebel she'd been fighting, right between the shoulderblades. He caught the gem without pause and looked up, ignoring the startled look on Garnet's face. "We need to retreat."

Garnet turned her head toward the warp pad and nodded at him, fists clenched.

He turned away as she called out to the gems, seeking Clementine and Spinel out. He knew the Jasper wasn't going to want to run, not now, not when they finally had Melanite right there. Amethyst paused her fighting with Angel Quartz, but only for a second, but it was long enough to give Angel Quartz the opening she needed to lunge. She swung her pickaxe down, and Steven sucked in a gasp that came out in a scream, a warning, because she was aiming for the gem. Images of purple gem shards flooded his mind, and he lunged toward them, desperate.

Pearl was quicker. The pale gem was as graceful as ever, putting herself between Amethyst and Angel Quartz just before the pickaxe struck. Steven saw Amethyst's pupils shrink, a look of shock rapidly flitting across her face before it turned to alarm, and then horror as Pearl poofed, and she fumbled to catch the gem before it could hit the ground. Steven froze for a second, equally stunned, then made a direct beeline for Angel Quartz before she could take advantage of the fact that Amethyst was distracted again. He spun his scythe and held it by both ends for a second, pressing the handle against the blue gem's chest and shoving her backwards, propelling himself forward with her and twisting to shove her back into another one of the rebels.

"Stars!" Angel Quartz huffed out a laugh as he slammed her back further, knocking both rebels off their feet. They both scrambled to get up, though Angel Quartz did so with less urgency, and she looked more amused as her gaze flitted over the hybrid. "Oh, did I make the meatball mad?" She stood, pickaxe in hand, and Steven readied himself to lunge again. "You mad, little Rose?"

Steven sneered back in response and lunged, lashing out at her again. She blocked him easily, and the amount of rage that flushed through him damn near clouded all his other senses.

She lashed out and the blade slashed across his shoulder, down to his chest. He froze for a second, biting his tongue to keep back a yell that escaped anyway. He jerked back, away from her, as the pain tore straight through him, causing his entire body to rock back instinctively. His breathing hitched as his teeth clenched, stomach rolling with waves of nausea as he struggled to compose himself. He swung and lashed out a little blindly when Angel Quartz lunged at him, silently berating himself for even allowing her to get a proper hit on him in the first place. Maybe he'd been unprepared for this, but he shouldn't be so far off his game. He'd poofed her before. He scowled, deflecting another attack and stepping back. He waited, watching, and _slashed-_

His scythe connected with the side of her neck and she froze, staring down at him.

 _Now_ he was getting somewhere.

He reached out to catch the gem as she poofed, and his hand connected with someone else's; his pupils shrank for a second as he looked up, his gaze locking with Cherry Quartz's. His eyes darkened at once, lips curling back in a snarl as he lunged for her. She skipped backwards, leaning back to dodge his attack, and offered a sweet smile before jumping back and taking off.

For a moment, he almost followed, forgetting that they were supposed to be retreating until someone grabbed him by the arm. He turned to lash out, but froze when he saw it was Spinel. Her other hand was locked tightly around Clementine's arm as she tugged them to the warp pad, past Garnet, Amethyst, Candy and Bismuth, who were fighting to hold the others off. Lemon Lime, Rhodonite and Poppy were already on the warp pad, and the poofed gems were nowhere to be seen. Steven twisted to look back as they stepped up onto it, and his eyes widened slightly as he took another quick look around and realized someone else was missing.

And then Peridot was there, fighting her way through the crowd with her ninja stars hovering around her and Pumpkin cradled in her arms, and the moment she jumped up onto the warp pad with them, it activated. The stream rushed up around them, effectively blocking out the sight of the battlefield the beach house had become, and Steven's breathing hitched for a second as he stared at it. The others were still there, four gems against all of those rebels. Too many.

"Why," Lemon Lime breathed, swallowing, "why are they here? What do they want with _you?"_

Steven shook his head, appalled, and looked back at him. "I don't know…" Lemon Lime bit his lip, silent for a moment, then summoned a bubble from his gem holding Berry and Pearl's gems; that explained why they hadn't reformed yet. Of course he'd bubbled them to keep them safe. He gazed at Berry's gem for a moment, concerned. He'd never seen her poof… he trailed his gaze toward Pearl's gem, resting carefully beside Berry's, and the Peridot immediately shifted his grip and popped the bubble to hand the gem over to Steven. He diminished his scythe, albeit reluctantly, to take it just as they landed on the warp pad again. He didn't need to look to know that they were at the barn, but he glanced up anyway, silent as he took in the sight of it. Greg was pacing just outside, hands gripping his hair; he whipped around when the warp pad activated, and his pupils shrank for a second, frozen, before he rushed over to where they were.

Steven stepped down, stumbling slightly. His heart was racing, leftover adrenaline pumping through him, but now there was nothing to direct it to. He held Pearl's gem close as Greg ran over to them. "Steven! Oh my god, are you- are you okay?! Is that Pearl?! What happened?!"

"I'm-" Steven's reassurance cut off as the warp pad activated, and he whipped his head around, expecting the rebels. Instead, he was relieved to see Garnet, Amethyst, and Candy, but he realized with a jolt that Bismuth wasn't with them. He tightened his grip on Pearl's gem reflexively even as Amethyst made her way over to him to check on both of them, looking worried, and shifted his complete focus to Garnet for the time being. "Where's Bismuth?"

"She went to get the Sun Incinerator." Garnet's lips pressed into a thin line, but he couldn't tell whether it was disapproving or simply concerned. "Fluorite and Padparadscha are still inside."

Rhodonite let out a quiet groan and ducked her head, holding the Rutile twins' bubble close.

Steven continued to stare until Amethyst's hands cupped around his face, effectively tearing his attention back to the purple gem. His wide eyes sought out the smaller Quartz's concerned, somewhat wild gaze as she searched his face, hands shaking. "Are you okay? _Are you okay?"_ The urgency in her voice shocked him into responding, nodding before he could think about it. The wound across his shoulder and chest throbbed in response, and he bit back a grunt, clenching his teeth over the side of his tongue and pulling Pearl's gem away to look down. Amethyst took it from him at once, holding it carefully in one hand, and she sucked in a shaky breath when she saw the torn, blood-stained fabric of his shirt, and the scar beneath it. "Steven…" The purple Quartz faltered, reaching out, to brush her fingers over the wound briefly.

Greg's breath shuddered slightly, resting a hand on Steven's shoulder and turning him slightly to get a better look. Steven let him, patiently allowing them to fuss over him for a moment. He knew how bad it was - and he figured it looked a little worse than it felt, too - and he wasn't going to try to reassure them that he was okay when he knew that it would fall upon deaf ears. So he simply waited for a moment, until Greg pulled his hand back with a worried frown and a quiet "oh, kiddo", before he stuck a finger in his mouth and reached down to run it over the wound. He winced a little initially, biting his lip, but relaxed again once the scar began to heal.

His father pulled him into his arms at once and Steven found himself sinking against him before he could really process what was going on, turning and burying his face into Greg's shoulder. He remembered how horrible the battle had been, how he'd wanted nothing more afterwards to just curl up and cry. Shards, he had. How he'd broken down the moment he was in the Room. The hybrid couldn't help but feel like that now; they hadn't seen any of this coming, hadn't even suspected that the rebels would be a threat to them here. They'd thought the Diamonds would be the first ones they faced again, the ones who came to Earth in search of them. As angry as he was with Melanite, now that they weren't face to face, the fear that engulfed him was stifling.

He'd seen Bismuth's terror when she'd heard the other gem's voice, seen Pearl and _Garnet_ tense when she'd exited the ship. She'd shattered Mandarin, she'd attacked Homeworld, she was dangerous and capable of things Steven knew very well he didn't even know the extent of, and now they were all getting front row seats. And why was she here? Why wasn't she back on Homeworld, with the Diamonds? Had she lost? … had they lost? The thought made him wince.

(Why would she be here, after all, if she hadn't completed her goal?)

He breathed in slowly through his teeth, fingers gripping his father's shirt, and struggled to swallow back the rest of the fear coursing through him. It wasn't over, just on pause. They couldn't hide out here forever and hope Melanite wouldn't find them or search for them. And they definitely couldn't leave her out there, so close to Beach City. If anything happened to-

Steven gasped, jerking his head back and whirling around toward the others. Greg's grip tightened for a second, looking alarmed, but the hybrid didn't pull back. "The town, guys, we-"

"Oh, _god."_ Amethyst's pupils shrank slightly, glancing back. "We need to get them outta there."

Garnet curled her hands into fists for a second, visor flashing. "I'll let Nanafua know to evacuate immediately." She turned and Steven watched as she propelled herself forward, dashing and leaping away, disappearing into the sky. He stared up after her, tightening his grip further on Greg's shirt before twisting to pull away from him again. Greg hesitated, hands hovering over the hybrid's shoulders, but he allowed Steven to pull away from him without much protest. Peridot stared at the barn, an unreadable look on her face, and put Pumpkin down with a frown.

"Steven," she began, and the hybrid turned toward her at once. "You should call Connie." The hybrid's mouth went dry for a second at that. Connie. Stars, she was going to want to fight, too. But she needed to know the threat they were facing, even if - especially if - that was the case.

The hybrid took a deep breath, summoning his phone from his gem. Poppy started pacing suddenly, popping Aqua's bubble to hold their gem in her hands, and let out a low snarl. "Who the shards do those pebbles think they are? First Homeworld, now Earth. That Melanite really just thinks she can come and do whatever she wants, doesn't she?" She whirled around, flames flickering through her hair, and Steven - for just a second - thought Berry would be more smitten with the other Ruby than she was with Garnet, if only for a moment. He shook the thought off quickly, frowning to himself as he unlocked the phone and pulled his contacts up to search through his contacts for Connie's number. She was right. Melanite really did have some _nerve._

Anger renewed, if only slightly, he pressed Connie's contact with shaking fingers and looked back up toward the others. "She's about to learn the hard way that she can't," he mumbled.

Poppy growled in response, meeting his gaze. "Oh, you're darn right."

"I'm going to destroy her," Clementine seethed, pacing. "Oh, I wish Tangy was here…"

"Me too," Steven mumbled. He wished they were all here. Tangerine, Agate, Sage…

… he hoped they were okay… whatever had happened on Homeworld, for whatever reason Melanite had decided to come to Earth instead, he hoped they were okay. He bit the inside of his cheek, swallowing hard and ducking his head as he struggled to breathe in again. His chest and stomach twisted, his mind unable to decide whether he was afraid or angry, and the feeling that engulfed him was such a horrible mixture of both that he felt like he was gonna be sick. He ran his fingers through his hair, holding the phone to his ear until the ringing stopped and Connie's voice came from the other line, a rather cheerful greeting of, "hey Steven, what's up?"

"Connie," the hybrid began quickly, taking another breath and rushing back in, bluntly, "we're under attack. It's the rebels. They showed up and- and crashed into the house, and Melanite's here, and we had to retreat. We're at the barn right now, and, um…" He stopped, swallowing. "Uh, we're trying to get everyone to evacuate Beach City because the rebels are still there. It's… it's pretty bad, Connie." He waited a moment, holding his breath, but there was no reply.

He understood, however, after a second. And almost immediately after he realized it, a thundering roar split through the air, a flash of pink and a portal splitting open, and Connie and Lion jumped through, skidding across the ground briefly. Lion turned with a growl, claws digging into the ground, and Connie wasted no time in jumping down and rushing over to them at once, her sword gripped tightly in one hand. Steven took a deep breath and let it out a little shakily, happy to see her but worried by what this meant, especially as she held her sword at the ready. "The _rebels_ are here?" She asked at once, looking appalled. "Steven, why would they come-"

"We don't know," Steven breathed, despair briefly trickling through the fury he was feeling, but it melted away again after a moment, replaced with concern. "She said she wanted me to go to Homeworld with her, and she'd leave everyone here alone. I'm not going to," he added quickly when Connie's expression shifted, and Greg inhaled sharply, both of them looking alarmed for a second. "I'm not going to. She…" He gritted his teeth, fury returning. "She has no right to come here and demand anything from any of us after what she did. I'm staying here and fighting. But…" He faltered for a moment, glancing toward Amethyst and Pearl's gem, then Berry's, and then the Rutile twins and Aqua's. "We just weren't expecting… none of us were prepared, and Berry and Aqua and the twins were poofed so quickly, and then Mom…" He shook his head.

Connie's eyes widened, looking back for a moment. He watched her expression shift, taking in the gems. The look that flitted across her face was unreadable, and then determined. She turned back to him, sword lowering as Lion made his way over to them as well. "What can I do?"

Steven shook his head again, looking at the sword dejectedly. She was just a kid. Younger than him. And these were… dangerous gems, gems that could _kill_ her. "You shouldn't have to…"

"Neither should you," Connie insisted firmly.

Steven faltered again for a second. She was right, he knew that. But… he did. He did have to. This was his home. And it was her home, too, but it was different, wasn't it? He was a child, but he was a soldier, too. If nothing else, Blue Diamond had made sure of that. "I know. But I do," he replied hesitantly, quietly, then took a deep breath. "But you don't have to be a part of this."

Connie was silent for a moment. "... well, I _want_ to."

"... I know." Steven's eyes shut for a second without his permission. "You could be hurt…"

"So could you."

"You could be killed."

"So could _you_ ," Connie retorted. He opened his eyes again as she stepped forward, closer to him, and didn't move as she put the sword down and reached out to grab his hands. He stayed still, gazing down as she laced their fingers together and continued, "but I still want to do this. Steven, this is why I started training! To learn how to fight. To fight with you, to fight for _Earth._ "

He remembered facing her, concerned, determined. _("Someday soon, we may be fighting some really bad guys, and when that day comes, I want to fight with you, together! So please…")_

Steven softened for a second, meeting her determined gaze, and managed a tired smile. He had promised her they'd fight together, hadn't he? If he couldn't stop her, convince her that she shouldn't be a part of it, then he could at least fight beside her like he'd said he was going to. The hybrid sighed and closed his eyes again, swallowing past the lump that had risen to his throat, and nodded. She understood the risk, he'd told her enough for her to know what they were dealing with - at least a sliver of it, as much as Steven knew without the actual experience. He took a deep breath and sighed, looking down at their hands for a moment. "You're stubborn."

Connie giggled and smirked at him. "Thanks. I get it from my mom."

"I don't doubt it." Steven looked back up at her, biting his lip for a moment, then glanced in the direction Garnet went in. "We're not fighting right now. What we're worried about is getting everyone to safety. Maybe Empire City…" He trailed off. It was far away enough, wasn't it? As long as they stayed in Beach City, they could make sure the rebels didn't get that far. Steven wasn't going to let anyone get hurt. "Garnet went to tell Nanafua to evacuate. Dad-" He turned toward his father. "You need to go, too." Greg, for a second, looked like he was about to protest.

Amethyst didn't give him a chance. "He's right, dude. You'd be better off out there helping everyone to safety," the purple Quartz admitted, holding Pearl's gem close. Greg faltered, biting his lip for a moment, and Steven took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back, looking up.

"Connie, can you and Lion take him into town to help?" He paused. "And… get Lars."

"Of course." Connie offered a faint smile, pulling away from him and climbing back onto Lion. The pink beast ducked his head briefly to nuzzle Steven, then turned away. "We'll be back."

Greg hesitated, and Steven moved forward to hug him. The man knelt down at once to embrace him, wrapping his arms around the hybrid tightly and kissing his forehead, and he leaned into the touch with a quiet sigh. "You be careful, okay? Call or- or text when you can." Steven only nodded, holding on for a moment before letting go, and Greg turned a surprisingly serious gaze toward Amethyst, who met his eyes steadily as he added, "don't let anything happen to him."

Amethyst glanced at Steven before rooting her gaze back to Greg. "I'll protect him with my life."

Greg softened a little at that. "... be careful, Amethyst."

Amethyst smiled tiredly, rubbing her thumb over Pearl's gem, and didn't respond. Greg took a deep breath and climbed onto Lion along with Connie, looking uncertain as he wrapped his arms around the pink animal, and Steven stepped back, sending his phone back to his gem. Lion turned, ducking his head low enough to press his nose against Pumpkin's head - and the orange creature reared up as much as she could to press her face into his mane - before turning away completely and roaring another portal, jumping through with Connie and Greg without a moment's hesitation. Steven stared until it closed shut behind them, holding his chest.

"Now what?" Rhodonite asked nervously.

Candy frowned, looking down at Berry's gem for a moment. "Now we wait."


	10. Chapter 10

Steven waited outside of the barn with the others; Peridot stayed with him, not daring to go inside. Pumpkin was still with her, though the green gem had mentioned something about sending her off with Lion and Connie whenever they got back and getting Greg to watch her. Lemon Lime stayed with them, Berry's gem cradled in his hands as he sat next to Peridot. Beside him sat Rhodonite with the Rutile twins gem, and Poppy with Aqua's. Amethyst still had Pearl's, pacing back and forth with her hands folded around the gem carefully, gently but firmly as if she was afraid of dropping it. The hybrid glanced up every now and again, checking over all of the gems, but a few hours passed without much luck. Connie still hadn't returned - Steven figured she was helping the citizens of Beach City evacuate. He wondered for a moment if he should have gone with them, but at the same time, he felt like he'd be better off here. In case something else happened, or Melanite found them, he needed to be sure he was ready to fight.

He did find himself growing increasingly anxious the more time passed. Bismuth hadn't shown up with the Sun Incinerator and Fluorite and Padparadscha, and the hybrid would be lying if he said he wasn't about ready to march down to the beach house himself to see if they were okay.

But he stayed still. And he watched. And he waited. And he thought.

_(And he sat, and he stared, and he thought, and he wondered if this was the extent of his punishment, if this was the worst of it. In solitude, isolation, silence, there was nothing. In the time between the moment he'd been thrown into the Room and the time he'd fallen asleep and woken up to find that the lights were flickering, there had been nothing but total darkness surrounding him on all sides. Steven had never liked the darkness. Not because he was afraid, but because there was just something, something about it that made it feel so endless, like it could stretch on for miles and miles and no matter what he did, where he turned, he was alone. Alone in an endless, black void. Alone with his thoughts - his dangerous, traitorous thoughts._

_(They had always loved the darkness, after all.))_

He breathed in and swallowed, shaking his head to clear it. His gaze trailed briefly to Peridot, sitting beside him, and then to Amethyst, as he reminded himself that, no, he wasn't alone.

The hybrid shook his head again and turned his attention back toward Peridot for a moment. The green gem's eyes were rooted to the barn, lightly stroking her hands over Pumpkin's side as she stared, and Steven understood. She hadn't been back there since she'd reformed, had she? He could imagine how painful it would be to enter again, to look around and see all the things that had been hers, and Lapis's, and… stars… Steven softened for a moment, following her gaze. This had been their home, the two of them. She'd taken them here, but _being_ there, surrounded by memories of _her_ , things that were _hers_ , must feel like some cruel joke right now.

And still, despite himself, despite the situation they were in, he felt an almost overwhelming urge to take her hand and lead her inside and just remember with her (because as much as it hurts, as horrible as it is, Steven knew that Lapis deserved nothing less than to just be _remembered.)_ But he didn't dare. He didn't know if she was ready for that. _He_ almost hadn't been ready for it.

Peridot stood suddenly, and Steven startled for a moment, watching her. The green gem hesitated, eyes on the barn, then flicked her gaze down to him. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the amount of determination flickering through her eyes; for the first time in a long time, her gaze was bright, and it wasn't because she was fighting or training. They were bright and filled with emotion, emotion he couldn't quite place. There was grief, yes, and pain - but there were also so many other things he hadn't expected to see right then, not so soon yet. And beyond it all there was a question, a question he only needed to stand up to answer.

And he did.

She took a breath and turned away from him, back to the barn, but Steven halted her by reaching out and taking her hand as he had wanted to, offering a light squeeze - a gentle reminder of _it's okay, I'm here for you_ \- and letting Peridot lead them off only when she was ready. She was slow at first, hesitant, and Steven understood. She shifted Pumpkin to one arm so she could open the door when they reached it, fingers inches away. Steven threw a quick glance back over his shoulder, toward the others. Amethyst had stopped pacing and was watching them worriedly, and Lemon Lime, holding Berry's gem close to his chest, hadn't taken his eyes off of Peridot for a second. Steven found his eyes searching for Spinel's, however; his gaze met hers for a split second, seeing the understanding flickering through her eyes. She looked back at him, and then toward Peridot, and then offered him a very small, encouraging smile. Meeting her gaze, he heard the unspoken words: _you've got this. You've got her._

He steadied himself and turned away as Peridot opened the door, and stepped inside with her silently. He understood that this was the closure she needed; she needed to be able to do this, for herself just as much as Lapis. It was always going to hurt to remember her - but there were good things, too, good memories and good feelings that could still come back. He knew that. And he wanted her to be able to see it too - especially now, with the threat of Melanite looming over them, knowing very well this could be her last chance at getting that closure for a while. They were going to have their hands full soon enough with everything that was going on.

Peridot sucked in a shuddering breath, one that didn't come back out, and Steven silently shifted his focus back to the green gem. She was silent for a while, simply looking around. That unreadable emotion flickering through her eyes shifted into something else, grief and sorrow and pain all at once. Pumpkin wriggled in her arms, whining softly; Peridot shook her head, hesitating at first, before pulling her hand away from Steven's and reaching down carefully to put Pumpkin on the floor. The orange creature wove around her a few times, looking concerned, then let out a quiet whimper and looked toward Steven. The hybrid glanced down at her briefly, then looked back up at Peridot, watching as she struggled to take in the sight of the barn again. Tears welled up in her eyes, glistening slightly in the dim light, but they didn't fall just yet.

"Peridot…" Steven hesitated for a moment, watching as she looked around. Her eyes fell onto the television, the tape recorder, the leaf. Everything that was Lapis's. The hybrid took a brief look around himself, taking in everything he'd seen when he came back here weeks ago.

Peridot didn't say anything immediately. She moved away from him, briefly inching closer to the tape recorder, and Steven watched her carefully as her gaze flicked over it slowly, steadily.

Grief shadowed her features for a moment, consuming everything else. She reached out to brush her fingers over the ribbon, and Steven softened slightly as he watched her, turning to take a few steps closer. He did lean down to pick Pumpkin up, since the little orange creature wasn't really moving, simply standing and watching Peridot with a worried gaze. She snuggled close to him as he held her in his arms, keeping a careful, steady hold as she pressed the side of her face into his chest and peered up at Peridot. The green gem, after a moment, took a deep breath and turned back to him, a wistful kind of sadness in her gaze as her eyes sought his out. "Sorry," she apologized in a breathy whisper, voice trembling. "But… I know we can't stay here." She looked around, distant eyes roaming across the barn. The tears that had welled up in her eyes receded to the corners and finally fell. "And I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"You don't have to apologize, Peridot," Steven told her softly, swallowing past the lump that formed in his throat in response. He moved toward her, watching as she lifted her hand to rub her eyes under her visor, and stopped with only a few inches of space between them. "I understand." He looked down at Pumpkin, resting steady in his arms. She shifted and leaned forward a little, closer to Peridot, and the green gem reached out to touch the sides of her face lightly without quite taking her from the hybrid. "We could stay… we're far away enough that…"

Peridot shook her head and sighed, a heavy, shuddery sound, and looked back up at him again. "We shouldn't. We're _too_ far away. I'm not saying we should rush back in, but… we should at least be close enough that they wouldn't storm through Empire City and level the rest of the Earth trying to look for us." She fell silent, stroking a hand over Pumpkin's side, and frowned.

Steven twisted his mouth slightly, humming a begrudging agreement. He looked down, watching her thumb absentmindedly rub across Pumpkin's side, and shifted his hold after a moment to rest his own hand over hers. She looked up at him then, her gaze holding his own steadily, and the hybrid managed to turn his lips upwards into a soft, comforting smile - or at least, an attempt at one. He didn't know how effective it was, but Peridot managed to blink some of her tears back for a second as she gazed at him, so maybe his efforts weren't entirely in vain. "Wherever we go, we'll figure it out. And then we can come back… and you don't have to say goodbye. Not to the barn," he added the last part a little quieter, glancing away from her for a moment to look around. "I know she's not here anymore… but this was your home. You've got so many memories here, just for the two of you. You deserve to keep those." He curled his fingers around her hand somewhat absently, blinking a few times past the stinging in his own eyes, and sucked in a shuddering breath as he looked back down at her. "And she deserves to be remembered."

Peridot swallowed and blinked, a few more tears falling. But her lips curved upwards after a moment into a tentative looking smile, genuine but sorrowful, and she huffed out a quiet laugh as she dropped her gaze back to where their hands rested against Pumpkin's side. Her fingers twitched against his, her thumb coming up for a moment to rest over his knuckles, and she swallowed again, hard, and managed a faint nod. "Yeah…" She laughed again, sharp and choked, but the sound was still somehow so soft and gentle and… warm. "Yeah. She does."

Steven smiled slightly, himself, squeezing her hand. "She loved you too, you know," he murmured, and Peridot's gaze lifted back up to him again at once. "She loved you a lot. That's why…" He stopped, almost hesitating. But Peridot tilted her head toward him, her gaze searching his own, wide and imploring and practically begging for him to continue, and he did. "That's why she didn't tell you what she was doing, Peridot. That's why… why you couldn't have done anything. She didn't tell you because she was trying to protect you. Because she loves you. Because she knew there was a chance she…" His mouth ran dry mid-sentence, throat constricting violently, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, breath hitching in an inhale.

Peridot's breathing hitched as well, only slightly. He watched her blink a few times, more tears spilling, as her gaze finally left his. She looked at Pumpkin for a moment, meeting the little orange creature's gaze silently, and her mouth opened and closed for a moment with no sound before she finally managed to whisper, "she knew she wasn't going to come back, Steven."

Steven tightened his grip for a second, just a second, then forced it to relax. "... I know…"

"But it was worth it. For you. For even a sliver of a chance…" Peridot's voice trailed for a moment, faltering to nothing. "And I know what she did… tried to do… was the right thing."

"I wish she hadn't," Steven admitted in a whisper. "She didn't deserve…"

Peridot shook her head and looked up at him. "But it wasn't your fault."

Steven bit his lip, silent for a moment as he looked away from her, eyes fixing on the hammock for a moment instead. He knew that logically, he knew Lapis's death wasn't anyone's fault but Blue Diamond's, and yet… and yet the guilt he felt was stifling, choking, blinding. It was so horribly twisted, especially since he knew deep down that he shouldn't be feeling guilty for something he couldn't control, something he couldn't have imagined, even in his darkest dreams, would have happened - _could_ have happened. But this wasn't about his guilt. That was something he'd have to work through in time. "It wasn't your fault either," he finally spoke, quiet, as he turned his gaze back to her, searching her face carefully. "You couldn't have stopped her."

"I wouldn't have wanted to." Peridot cracked a shaky smile, her expression unreadable for a moment. Steven understood before she continued, after a few seconds' pause. "I would have gone with her. Stars… I would have happily… even knowing what would happen, I would have."

He understood.

(He'd have done the same thing.

He still would.)

"I miss her," Peridot whispered after a few seconds.

Steven breathed in, sniffling a little as he cleared his nose and then his throat, and heaved out a soft, shaky sigh. He smiled, faint and exhausted and pained, but genuine all the same. "Me too."

Peridot smiled back at him, hesitantly, then suddenly giggled. "And this is the worst time to."

Steven shook his head a little and squeezed her hand lightly, shifting his grip a little to hold Pumpkin more comfortably. "No… it's not. It's never… the worst time to miss someone you love… someone you lost." He stopped and swallowed, breathing in through his mouth this time. His chest shuddered a little, despite his attempts at controlling his breathing, but he gave up after a moment. It took him a second to realize he was crying - subconsciously he supposed he knew he was doing it since he couldn't seem to stop blinking through the tears, but it still startled him all the same to feel that his cheeks were wet now, and his eyelashes were sticky from tears.

Peridot cracked a smile, an almost bittersweet one, and opened her mouth. But she paused before she could say anything, glancing past him, and Steven twisted around at once to look. He relaxed a little upon realizing nothing dangerous was going on outside, but perked up again almost at once seeing the familiar white glow of Pearl's gem. Peridot pulled her hand away after a second, taking Pumpkin from him, and Steven turned back to offer her one last, warm smile before he turned to make his way out of the barn, with the green gem keeping pace behind him.

He stepped outside, wide eyes focusing on Pearl's gem. It was hovering in the air, simply spinning and glowing; Amethyst stood a few feet away, hands clenched tight at her sides as she watched. Her gaze flicked over to them briefly as they exited the barn, but it didn't take long for her attention to fall back to the gem, especially once Pearl finally started to actually reform.

Immediately, Steven knew something was different, before the glowing had even died down. The pale gem landed gracefully on her feet, almost exactly the same; her outfit was the only thing different, and Steven couldn't help but stare. Her dress was gone, replaced with a simple teal shirt, and she'd traded in her yellow shorts for a pair of blue pants that didn't reach all the way down to her ankles, and her shoes were now a soft, bright pink; no socks. But the most notable difference was the short-sleeved, light blue jacket she was wearing; Steven's eyes widened slightly, shuffling a few steps forward to get a better look as Pearl blinked open her eyes and turned, a briefly alarmed expression crossing her face before it fizzled out to relief.

Steven saw Amethyst's expression darken, and he knew what was coming before it came.

"You _idiot!"_ The purple gem seethed before Pearl had a proper chance to take anything in, and the pale gem's blue gaze snapped down to her at once, alarm returning, and then confusion. Amethyst lifted a hand, jabbing a finger in Pearl's direction as she went on, "what the hell were you thinking, huh? You can't just- _throw_ yourself in front of me like that in the middle of a fight! Do you have any idea how _mortifying_ that was? You scared the living crap outta me, Pearl, I-"

"Amethyst," Pearl started, and Amethyst raised a hand.

"Not! Finished! Don't you ever- _ever_ \- do anything that _reckless_ or _stupid_ again, I swear-"

Pearl rolled her eyes and stooped down to Amethyst's level, kneeling in the grass gracefully in front of the purple Quartz, and Steven's eyes widened, freezing in complete shock, as the pale gem took Amethyst's hand and tugged her forward into a kiss. He couldn't keep his face from heating up in time - jeez, it was just like watching Ruby and Sapphire kissing all over each other - and yet he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from the adorable scene they made for a moment. He did, eventually manage to look away, clearing his throat, but not before he had the chance to see Amethyst's pupils shrink in complete, absolute shock. He also caught Lemon Lime and Candy's surprised gazes, watching them exchange startled looks, staring at each other, and then the other two, and then back at each other again. The kiss didn't last too long; Pearl pulled away rather swiftly, leaving a stunned, blushing Amethyst completely frozen.

Steven risked a glance back at them, watching their faces flush at the same time; Amethyst turned a much darker shade of purple, while Pearl's cheeks tinged a light blue. "I did it for you," the pale gem told the smaller Quartz, looking somewhat flustered now. "And I would do it again."

"That was a really nice way of telling me to shut up," Amethyst stammered, then blinked, an indignant look suddenly flashing across her face. "Wh- wait, no, what the hell did I just say?!"

Steven giggled a little, scrubbing his face clear of the dried tears on his cheeks. Pearl paused and looked up, the blush on her cheeks fading at once as she pushed herself up and spun around to head over to him, and the hybrid greeted the pale gem with a faint smile as she approached. "Welcome back, Mom. And before you ask, yes, I was crying, but yes, I'm okay." He smiled and rubbed his face again, stepping closer and reaching out to pull her into a hug.

"Oh, Steven…" Her arms wrapped around him, holding on tightly, but she pulled back after a moment and frowned down at him, reaching out to touch where his shirt had been torn, still stained with blood. Relief and warmth rapidly faded into concern, wide eyes darting back up to his face. "Are you alright? What happened?" She paused. "Oh… oh, stars, what's going on-?"

"We had to retreat," Steven told her before she had time to really start panicking. "Everyone's fine, we got out safely. Berry and the others haven't reformed yet… Bismuth's getting the Sun Incinerator and she hasn't come back yet, but…" He grimaced, twisting his mouth sharply, and Pearl's eyebrows furrowed slightly at that, looking concerned. "Um, Garnet and Connie are helping everyone evacuate Beach City. Dad's safe too. They're just getting everyone to safety before we figure out what to do about Melanite." His expression shifted a little as he spoke her name, eyes narrowing slightly, but he forced it to smooth back to a neutral expression again.

Pearl frowned, resting a hand against his cheek. "And you're not hurt?"

"No," Steven assured her. "I healed myself."

Pearl frowned, looking down at the tear in his shirt again for a moment, but she nodded and pulled back. Steven took a moment to glance down, himself; he suddenly didn't like the idea of having his gem out right then. He hadn't liked it during the battle and he didn't like it now either - except, now, he actually had the chance to fix it… he shifted a little, thinking, but perked up a little, remembering that he still had a few bubbled shirts in his gem that he hadn't put away yet. He summoned one from his gem to pull over his crop top while Pearl turned back to the others. Not exactly armor, but it would have to suffice - at the very least, it would cover his gem up.

He pulled the shirt over his head and paused, looking up when Lemon Lime suddenly gasped. The Peridot fumbled with Berry's gem - which was glowing now - for a second before he simply put it down in front of him and watched, wide-eyed, as the Ruby finally began to reform. Steven took a few steps closer, relieved; he was still surprised that it had taken this long for her to come back, but he'd never seen her poof before either. The hybrid adjusted his shirt, settling his hands over his stomach for a moment, and simply stared until the red glow began to die down.

Berry landed on her feet, stumbling a bit, and whirled around, hair catching fire at once. "What-"

"Berry, Berry, it's okay, you're okay, we're okay," Lemon Lime was quick to assure her, reaching forward to grab her shoulders, pulling her closer. Berry, while still looking somewhat alarmed, was quick to turn back to the Peridot, and quicker to relax once she got a good look at him.

Steven moved closer, concerned, but he couldn't help but notice how different _she_ looked as well. She still had her visor, and her uniform was mostly the same, color and design-wise - even down to the straps. But the yellow diamond that usually rested in the center was gone, and nothing there to replace it. Her sleeves were a little bit longer too, reaching just above her elbows now, and the gloves she wore were shorter, only inches above her wrist, and the yellow trimming was replaced with a bright red. And on her left hand, where her gem was, there was a cut in the fabric the shape of a star, just big enough around to fit her gem in the center perfectly.

"What happened?" The Ruby demanded, pulling away from Lemon Lime slightly, though not enough so the Peridot couldn't keep his arms around her. He busied himself with pinching the flames out of her hair after a moment, frowning, while Berry took a quick look around, seemingly doing a headcount. She paused when her eyes landed on him, and then Peridot, and then finally seemed to realize that they weren't at the beach house anymore. "What's going on?"

"The rebels are here," Candy informed her, tucking her hair back. Berry turned to look at her then, startled. "Melanite and her crew. They ambushed us." She narrowed her eyes, frowning.

Clementine gritted her teeth, eyes darkening slightly. "We had to retreat."

"Why," Berry began, looking puzzled, but fell silent again. "Wait, where are the others? Is-"

"They're okay," Steven interrupted. Berry relaxed at once, looking back at him. "Bismuth's bringing the Sun Incinerator, and Connie and Garnet are helping evacuate the city right now. Everyone else is here." He gestured around them. "Aqua and the twins were poofed, though. You were, too, because the ship crashed into the house. They just haven't reformed yet."

"The ship… oh." Berry's eyes narrowed slightly, finally detangling herself from Lemon Lime.

Steven nodded. "We're waiting for the others. We've gotta figure out a plan."

"Easier said than done," Rhodonite commented, shuddering slightly. "We're outnumbered." Steven frowned a little, biting the inside of his cheek and falling silent. Peridot hummed a quiet, begrudging agreement as she set Pumpkin down; the little orange creature immediately trotted over to Berry, who flinched back away from her at once, pushing herself back toward Lemon Lime. The Peridot wrapped his arms around her, looking amused, while Pumpkin stopped a few feet away and offered Berry a somewhat disgruntled look (which she responded to with a hiss).

Amethyst sighed, picking Pumpkin up herself. "Too bad Pumpkin can't fight," the purple Quartz joked, lightly flicking the creature's stem, and Pumpkin turned to rasp her tongue over her face.

"Says you," Steven mumbled. "Personally, I think she'd be terrifying with a sword."

Pumpkin barked, as if to express her agreement.

Peridot let out a laugh, a sharp huff, as if it had been startled from her. " _That's_ not happening."

Steven smirked a little despite himself, looking down to adjust his shirt again. He only looked back up when one of Lion's portals opened in a familiar flash of pink, and the beast jumped through with Connie, Garnet and Lars, skidding sharply to a stop and turning around to allow the three of them to jump back off while the portal shut behind them. "Almost everyone's out," Connie informed them, sliding off. She still had her sword, but now she also had a duffle bag, one that Steven could safely assume Priyanka had packed full of food and clothes and medical equipment and just about everything else that Connie might need while she's out on the field.

(He wondered for a second how terrified she must be, basically sending her teenage daughter to war. A part of him was surprised that she had even allowed Connie to do so in the first place - but then, knowing just how stubborn the girl could be, himself, he couldn't be _too_ surprised.)

The hybrid sighed, glancing over at Lars as the pink human hopped off next, making a direct beeline over to Rhodonite, Poppy and Spinel, who were quick to show him Aqua and the Rutile twins gems. Lars only frowned, checking the gems over, then turned toward Steven and the others, looking bewildered. "Why would Melanite come here? She was completely _obsessed_ with taking the Diamonds down." He looked irritated for a second, but that steadily fizzled out to alarm, and then a startling mixture of guilt and fury. "You don't think… she's here for us, or…?"

"No," Steven said quickly, shaking his head. He narrowed his eyes for a moment, remembering the deal Melanite had tried to make with him before the fight had broken out, and briefly allowed his mouth to twist into a scowl. "No… I think she came for me. She said something about coming back to Homeworld with her, and that she'd leave everyone else here alone if I did." Berry perked up a little at that, a mixture of surprise and alarm crossing her face. Then she frowned, furrowing her eyebrows, and slowly sank back into Lemon Lime's arms, puzzled.

Lars frowned, and muttered, "sounds familiar."

"Yeah," Amethyst chimed, and snickered. "Except Steven basically told her to fuck off."

"I didn't tell her to-" Steven paused, glancing at Pearl, "-do that."

"Eh, I read between the lines."

Garnet paused, turning toward Pearl suddenly. "Nice form."

"Thank you," Pearl replied, pleased. "I'm particularly excited about the jacket." Steven smiled a little at that, briefly remembering the time Pearl had accompanied him and Amethyst to a concert, putting on a leather jacket and jeans and drinking soda and doing all the 'cool' things she thought she was supposed to do. Ah, admittedly, she had scared him just a little bit toward the end there, but in the long run… it had been nice to spend time with the two of them like that.

(Even though they'd broken the law.)

Peridot stepped toward Connie and Lion, taking Pumpkin from Amethyst again. "Could you take Pumpkin to Greg? I'd rather her not be in the middle of all this," the green gem requested.

Connie agreed at once, putting her bag down and climbing back onto Lion. Peridot exchanged a quick goodbye with Pumpkin (Steven could have sworn he heard Berry mumble 'good riddance', which almost got a chuckle out of him) and told her to 'be good for Greg' before surrendering her over to Connie, and Lion roared another portal to take them back. The trip was rather quick, quick enough that the portal stayed open long enough for them to jump through with Pumpkin, and jump back through without her barely two seconds later. Steven watched them for a moment, staring at the portal until it shut, then took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. Everyone else was there now except for Bismuth, Fluorite and Padparadscha, and with each second that passed, Steven was just growing more and more concerned when they didn't show.

"Connie," he finally spoke, turning to the human. "Can-" He stopped, freezing for a second, feeling the ground rumble under his feet and hearing the familiar whir of a ship, but he was quicker to recognize the sound of the Sun Incinerator this time, quicker to tell the subtle differences between Berry's ship and the one the rebels had shown up in. And sure enough, when he looked up, he was relieved to see the Sun Incinerator swooping down toward them, veering sharply around the gems and skidding to a stop just as the door hissed open.

Bismuth grinned, poking her head out. "Get in, Crystal Gems, we've got some rebels to fight!"

"Heck yeah, back in Bismuth!" Amethyst whooped, spin dashing toward the ship and jumping up at the last second to dive inside. Clementine stood up to follow at once, mouth set in a determined grimace; Spinel bounced after them, followed by Poppy and Rhodonite. Steven watched everyone else gather into the ship, waiting for a moment, then took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders back, and moved forward to follow. He fell into step with Connie and Lion, stopping to let the pink beast enter before him, and spared a quick glance back at the barn.

He stared until Connie took his hand, forcing him back to the present, and turned to look up at the human, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "It's okay," she assured him gently. "We can do this."

"... yeah." Steven squeezed her hand, running his tongue over his lips, and stepped inside.


	11. Chapter 11

They settled into the ship carefully, one after the other.

Lars paused by the control panel at first, typing something into it to bring up a few more seats so that everyone could settle inside. Steven stood for a while, watching as the others bunkered down; Berry eventually took Bismuth's place at the control panel, herself, and Lars retreated to a chair in the center of the ship, crossing one leg over the other and watching with a frown as the Ruby lifted them back up into the air and sent them flying again. Steven looked out the window for a moment, just staring, and frowned. For just a second, he was reminded of the trip to the Pyrope Colony, going back and forth on ships as they fought… none of this was easy, he noted. Every little thing reminded him of the one battle he'd been in, a week's worth of non-stop fighting. Most of his anxiety had been effectively churned into anger and determination, but a lot of it, he noticed, had gone frighteningly numb. A part of him wanted to fight more than anything. The rest of him, he found, wished with every facet in his gem that he didn't have to.

He continued to stare, continued standing. Lemon Lime settled in on Berry's other side, watching her run her fingers over the control panel to steer the ship. Poppy ended up wandering forward to stand on the Ruby's other side, peering over her shoulder to watch her without quite getting close enough to touch. "You're pretty good at that," she commented suddenly, and Berry jumped, pupils shrinking, and glanced to the side to look back at her. "I don't know how to pilot."

Berry paused, calming down before she'd even had a chance to get riled up over being startled. Steven couldn't help but smile for a moment as he watched her cheeks flush, a darker shade of red dusting across her face as she tore her gaze away again. "It's not hard. Quite simple, really."

"Maybe you could teach me sometime?" Poppy offered. "When we're not in mortal peril."

Berry snorted and rolled her eyes, but Steven caught the corners of her lips tugging upwards, though it didn't quite form a smile just yet. She just shrugged, looking ahead. "Yeah… maybe."

Steven exhaled, finally relaxing enough to take a seat beside Clementine. He looked up again when a bright blue glow suddenly enveloped the ship, briefly overshadowing the green; his gaze fell on Aqua's gem, cradled carefully in Poppy's hands, and the Ruby immediately stepped back and opened them up a little so that the gem could rise up into the air, spinning as they reformed. Steven watched carefully, intently, save for a few glances toward the windshield every now and then, until the gem had finally reformed completely and landed, ever so carefully, on their feet. They looked just about the same, he noted, except their outfit. Their shoulders were left uncovered, the sleeves curving inwards until they reached just above their elbows. Their skirt was cut off in the front, as well, now more so looking like a cape that hooked around their waist. They still had what resembled the shape of a diamond at the top of their outfit, close to their neck, but Steven noted that there was also a star printed across their left hip, colored blue.

Their hair turned white the moment they formed, which slowly melted into orange when they got a good look around. Poppy, looking relieved, wasted no time in grabbing the gem and pulling them into a hug, much to Aqua's surprise; Steven watched for a moment, eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you okay?" Poppy pulled back, hands on Aqua's shoulders, and checked them over.

Aqua blinked, looking up at her, then turned to look around. Their bewildered gaze tracked everything, from Lars, to Garnet, to Fluorite and Padparadscha, and then back to Berry. They blinked a few times, eyebrows slowly pinching together, and turned back to the Ruby; the orange in their hair finally faded back to its neutral grey, but the confusion didn't leave their eyes. "I'm… fine? What happened?" They looked around again, worried. "What's going on?" Steven, admittedly, tuned them out for the most part as Poppy began explaining the situation to the poor gem, straightening up in his seat and peering ahead at the windshield for a moment. He did, however, hear Melanite's name get dropped, and couldn't keep himself from narrowing his eyes in time. That gem. That gem was going to pay for what she'd done - Steven was going to make sure of it. They were all going to make sure of it. He couldn't wait to see her bubbled.

 _Or,_ he thought, as his gaze flicked toward Clementine for a moment, taking in her stony expression as the Jasper glared out the windshield, _whatever punishment she might deserve. As long as she's brought to justice…_ He curled his fingers against his shirt, pressing against his gem lightly, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. _Then I don't care what they do with her._

The hybrid took a deep breath, leaning his head back, and frowned as another thought occurred to him. He allowed his eyes to flick toward Bismuth, who had taken her seat beside Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, on the other side of the ship. As much as he wanted to go sit with them, he found an odd sense of comfort in being closer to Clementine. Again, he was starkly reminded of the trip to the Pyrope Colony, seated beside Tangerine with Clementine and Mandarin behind them. Once again, he found himself wishing Tangerine was there. And Agate and Sage. The hybrid sighed, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment, then leaned forward.

"Bismuth," he called, and the rainbow-haired gem turned in his direction, raising her eyebrows expectantly with a warm, genuine smile on her face. "Did you see Melanite's Breaking Point?"

Bismuth blinked, looking confused for a moment, and then understanding. "Didn't'cha see that scythe she was holding? That _was_ the Breaking Point." Steven froze for a second at that, startled. It hadn't made any sense to him before, why she had a scythe instead of the weapon he'd been shown so long ago. It didn't resemble a Breaking Point at all. And it also meant, even more disappointingly, they wouldn't be able to get it from her. "Which is why everyone needs to be careful," Bismuth added suddenly, glancing around the ship. "That thing is more deadly than a regular weapon. One slash from that… jeez, it could probably cut you in half. Your gem, too."

"Definitely," Clementine mumbled, and Steven's heart sank at what that implied.

"Well, that makes things harder," the hybrid finally mumbled, biting the inside of his cheek. "I still don't understand why… why she's _here_. Why she wants me to come back to Homeworld. Why…" He shook his head, baffled, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to think.

"Yeah, _that_ doesn't make sense," Berry chimed.

Silence fell for a moment, tense and contemplative, and then Lars spoke. Steven blinked his eyes open, turning toward the pink human as he listened. "How many gems did she bring?"

Steven furrowed his eyebrows, exchanging a glance with the others. Amethyst frowned, narrowing her eyes faintly, and Garnet adjusted her visor and leaned forward in her seat. "A full platoon. More than we've got," she added, and Steven twisted his mouth sharply, frowning. Lars narrowed his eyes, looking thoughtful, as Garnet sat back in her seat and went on, "we don't know how many she brought with her. That was only the one ship," the fusion added quickly. "But we didn't see any others…" She looked toward Bismuth, who shook her head slightly.

"Then she only brought whoever she could spare," Lars mumbled after a few seconds. "They're still _fighting_ Homeworld. There's enough rebels to fuel about a hundred battalions, but if she didn't even _bring_ a full battalion…" He lifted a hand, rubbing it over his mouth, and looked up. "It really… doesn't make sense why she's here. She's a bitch, for sure, but she's not the kind of bitch to just up and abandon her own army in the middle of a war. She's usually the first on the field." Steven narrowed his eyes a little at that, glancing away. Yeah, he knew that. She'd been on the field, after all, on the Pyrope Colony - even when Blue Diamond herself wouldn't fight.

"Well, you heard her when she first arrived. She thinks you're Rose Quartz," Candy began, and Steven lifted his gaze again, running his tongue over his lips. "And they had an argument, right? About the Diamond thing… but then you ended up on Homeworld, and she knew that. Maybe she thinks now there's a chance that you'll join her in helping take the Diamonds down."

It sounded plausible enough, and yet… Steven let his gaze trail toward Pearl for a moment, watching the pale gem sink back and fold her hands over her mouth, eyes falling to the floor. He let his gaze linger for a while before he replied to Candy. "I don't know. Something's not… right. Even if that was the case, I… I still don't get it. It wouldn't make any sense for her to come all the way here just to try and get me on her side. Not when the Diamonds were supposedly her first priority." He gestured slightly at nothing in particular, rolling his shoulders back with a frown.

"Then maybe she's working _with_ the Diamonds now," Connie suggested. "She's all about deals, right? Maybe she struck a deal with them. Bring you back and get something back in return."

Bismuth scoffed at that. "Melanite would sooner shatter her own gem than work with _them."_

"Whatever the case," Clementine cut in with a scowl, finally tearing her gaze away from the windshield to look back at them. "She just brought the war _here_. And it doesn't matter what she wants you on Homeworld for." Her gaze sought Steven's out, meeting his eyes steadily, and the hybrid inclined his head in a silent agreement as he studied her expression. "What does matter is taking her down. Your pink human friend's right, she doesn't even have a full battalion now." The Jasper paused and frowned, knitting her eyebrows together. "The only thing to do is fight. So, we fight. And we show that _coprolite_ that we're not afraid of her fancy little army."

"Coprolite?" Steven couldn't help but grin a little despite himself at that, while both Berry and Candy whistled and laughed, seeming just as pleasantly surprised by the insult. "Nice one."

Clementine smirked a little then, a brief flicker of amusement entering her gaze. "Thank you."

"And you're right," the hybrid continued, looking away to glance around the ship again. "Whatever she wants, she's not gonna get it. What matters most of all right now is neutralizing the threat, right? We've evacuated Beach City. We're outnumbered, but we've still got a chance if we play our cards right." He closed his eyes again for a moment, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. The others hummed their agreement in response as Steven struggled to think. "We can do this," he muttered, mostly to himself, and blinked his eyes open again with a soft sigh. "We don't have a choice. We're doing this. We just need to figure out what to do right now." He glanced toward Rhodonite, then the Rutile twins gems, and frowned. "Once _everyone's_ here."

Lion came up beside him, resting his head over the hybrid's lap, and Steven gently carded his fingers through the pink beast's mane as he leaned his head back and gazed toward the windshield. Peridot was the next one to speak up, sounding determined. "You know, we're not _too_ outnumbered… and even so… they caught us by surprise, sure, but we're still capable. There's still plenty of us. At least enough to do some damage. So this isn't entirely hopeless."

"That's the spirit," Lars agreed, sitting up and leaning forward. "So-" He stopped mid-sentence, and Steven lifted his gaze from Lion to look over at him, momentarily concerned. But, following his gaze, he relaxed almost immediately; the Rutile twins were finally starting to reform. The hybrid ran his fingers through Lion's mane again as he watched, and Lars perked up while Rhodonite released the gem to let it float into the air and stepped back to give them some room. They landed a bit clumsily when they did finally reform, stumbling slightly on their feet, and Steven grinned to himself as he got a good look at their new outfit. The left one wore red, with half of a black star on the front, and the right one wore black with the other half of the star, which, of course, was red. They stood still for a second, looking shocked, and exchanged a glance before looking up toward Lars when the pink human raised a hand. "Welcome back."

Rhodonite practically threw herself forward to hug them, and both twins squeaked as they lifted their arms to hug her back, looking startled. "Thank the stars, I thought you'd never come back!"

"Never come back?" One of the twins echoed, perplexed.

"Of course we came back," the other replied, bewildered. "What's going on?"

"We were attacked!" Rhodonite rushed to explain, pulling away, and the Rutile twins' eyes widened as they exchanged another glance, looking horrified. "Melanite and the others - some of the others, anyway - they crashed in - literally - and ambushed us, and we had to retreat-"

From her seat, Padparadscha gasped, "the twins are about to reform!"

"Thanks, Padparadscha," Lars called, steepling his fingers under his chin. Steven chuckled.

"Wow…" The twins frowned, glancing at each other again, then looked around. "Is everyone…"

"... okay?"

"We got out alive," Rhodonite conceded nervously.

Steven nodded, settling his hands over his knees as Lion lifted his head from his lap and moved over to Connie, and leaned forward again with a sigh. "Speaking of getting out alive… we should check on the city first, make sure everyone's out," he began, biting the inside of his cheek. Berry let out a quiet grunt of agreement, shifting her hands to turn the ship around, and Steven, after watching for a few seconds, ended up pushing himself up to walk over to her. He took a seat beside Lemon Lime, looking down at the control panel but not touching it. "So, uh…" He hesitated, shooting a glance at Berry out of the corner of his eye. "Do you have a plan?"

"No." Berry stared ahead for a moment, eyes unreadable behind her visor. She lowered her head, some of her curls falling in front of her face briefly, and Steven saw her fingers curl slightly before she forced them to relax again and shifted her hands once more, bringing the ship higher. Steven bit the inside of his cheek as she continued, "but now we can make one. This isn't going to be pretty. It might not be _hopeless_ , but the odds aren't exactly in our favor."

Despite himself, Steven let out a quiet laugh and gazed out the windshield, looking at the sky. "They never are." He twisted his mouth, thinking.

Lemon Lime drummed his fingers against part of the control panel, far enough away from the buttons so he wouldn't disturb anything. After a few seconds, he piped up, "I mean, is there a point in planning? You always say that there's no time to think in a battle. It's all action," he reminded Berry, and the Ruby inclined her head slightly in agreement, raising her eyebrows.

"Would you have us rush in blind?"

"No," Lemon Lime countered, frowning. "But are we blind? We know Melanite has a Breaking Point. And she's the biggest threat right now, isn't she? She didn't bring that many gems."

Steven narrowed his eyes, flicking his gaze over the clouds. "Angel Quartz was there."

Berry startled a little at that, and the ship jerked a little - the collective shouts from Rhodonite, the Rutile twins and Aqua made him wince - but the Ruby managed to get it under control for the most part again before she whirled her head in Steven's direction. "What? Angel Quartz?"

"And the ones that were with her before," Steven added, gazing at the sky for a moment longer before turning his attention back to the other two. "I bubbled Candy Cane, and… I saw Cherry Quartz just before we retreated. She took Angel Quartz's gem after I poofed her and ran." He ran his tongue over his lips and scowled for a moment, eyebrows pinching together. Berry glanced at him, an almost disbelieving expression on her face, then looked ahead again. "But I don't get it. I saw them on Homeworld. They were rejuvenated. I re- _trained_ some of them."

Amethyst piped up before Berry could reply, sounding curious, "you trained gems?"

"Rejuvenated rebels, from the battle," Steven replied vaguely, frowning to himself now.

Berry shook her head. "Melanite could have used the fighting as a distraction to retrieve them." Steven glanced at her at that, and Berry frowned. "Rejuvenation isn't… one hundred percent."

Steven let out a quiet hum and sighed, glaring out the windshield for a moment. He rubbed his hands over his knees, thinking Lemon Lime's words over. He couldn't… disagree, really. He was right. After all, they couldn't stay on the run forever. They had to go back and face her again. They knew the threat they were facing, they understood the risks, they knew what to look for. _Who_ to look for, even. Angel Quartz was a formidable opponent, and the rebels weren't exactly _awful_ on the field, but… Steven would be honest, most of their strength, he thought, came from numbers. And their excessive use of explosives. Which he could only hope they didn't have… the point was, maybe the odds weren't in their _favor_ , but they weren't _too_ against them yet.

He took a deep breath and looked down, catching sight of the city below. He didn't say anything for a while after that, just took a silent note of how… barren the town was, so empty and lifeless. Doors to some buildings were left open, as if the citizens had rushed out in a panic without thinking. His stomach twisted a little at the thought; he knew how terrified they must be. He hated that they had to deal with these things to begin with; they were only human, after all.

"Looks like it's empty," Berry said quietly after a while.

Garnet leaned forward, staring out, and pursed her lips. "Look."

Steven trailed his gaze to where she was pointing, up at the cliffside, where the lighthouse was. Melanite's ship was parked just beside it, turned to look over the beach and the temple. Steven narrowed his eyes slightly, and Berry let out a quiet growl as she moved a hand forward over the control panel, sending them flying toward the cliff. She looped them around it, however, swooping down low toward the sand for a second before rising back up again and turning to face the temple. Steven peered down at the statue for a moment, then lifted his gaze to the ship, a good distance away from them now. It rumbled to life almost at once, lifting slightly from where it sat, a piece of the broken fence dangling from the bottom before it fell into the sand.

The ship moved forward, and Steven paused, watching the ends of the wings on each side glow as they summoned large, flickering masses of bright, white-hot energy. Berry stiffened, just for a second, and pushed her hand up against the control panel, moving them up just in time as a beam of light shot from Melanite's ship, just barely missing the bottom of the Sun Incinerator.

"Bitch," Berry hissed. "You wanna play _dirty?"_

"Go Berry," Lemon Lime encouraged, though he scrambled out of his seat and backed away. Steven leaned forward a little, undaunted, as Melanite prepared to blast at them again. Berry swooped forward, diving down and leaning the ship to the side to avoid another blast, and looped them back around to dive and take shelter under the temple gem's hand. She was quick to move them again, however, seeing another beam of energy rocketing toward them; she ended up bringing them higher into the sky, while Steven heard the familiar, unmistakable sound of stone snapping and crumbling, as the last remaining hand of the statue crashed in the sand.

A rush of pure fury flooded Steven's system, stomach twisting with rage, both freezing cold and scorching hot. But Melanite seemed more than satisfied, because after a second's pause, the ship suddenly lowered down to land in the sand just in front of where the broken hand had landed. Steven watched, furious, and Berry brought the ship to a stop, hesitating for a second. Then Garnet stood, reaching up to adjust her visor, and lifted her chin. "Land the ship," she ordered, and Berry glanced back at her. "She wants a confrontation. So let's confront her."

Berry nodded, narrowing her eyes, and landed the ship across from Melanite's, still with a good stretch of distance between them. Steven pushed himself back and stood up, turning away.

Candy walked over to open the door while Clementine joined Steven. "I want to shatter her."

"I wouldn't hold it against you," Steven replied honestly.

"Everyone ready?" Candy called, and Steven glanced back. One by one, the gems summoned their weapons; Connie drew her sword, Lion standing steady at her side. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot and Bismuth stood ready with their weapons. Berry summoned her knuckles, and Lemon Lime, after a second's hesitation, reached up and summoned his bow from his gem, holding it tightly in one hand while the other one fiddled with the collar of his uniform. Steven summoned his scythe as Clementine summoned her mallet, and Spinel already had her scythe ready as she made her way forward to stand beside them. The off-colors followed suit with their weapons, and Lars stood from his seat, drawing his sword, and looked back over his shoulder.

"Fluorite, stay here with Padparadscha."

"Aye… aye… captain…"

"We're ready," Berry called. Connie stepped forward, making her way to Steven's other side, and the hybrid spared her a glance and a hesitant smile before rooting his eyes to the door. Candy summoned her fan blades, holding them in one hand and pressing the other to the panel, then stepped back and shifted her grip to hold them with both hands as the door hissed open.

"Friends!" Melanite called pleasantly. "I was starting to think I'd scared you off for good."

Steven scowled, knitting his eyebrows together, and moved forward to leave the ship. The others filed out quickly behind him, one after the other; Melanite raised her eyebrows, smirking as she glanced them over from where she stood in front of her ship, and her eyes lingered on him for a few seconds as she cocked her head to the side and pulled her lips into a toothy grin. Behind her, on either side of the ship, stood the rebels; gems of all colors and sizes, holding all different sorts of weapons. Angel Quartz stood at Melanite's right side, idly twirling her pickaxe. Cherry Quartz was on Melanite's left side, tossing her dagger up and catching it by the handle.

There were so many of them. Steven forced himself to stand tall and steady, trying to appear undaunted, but despite knowing they still had a chance, he knew not to underestimate them.

He knew not to underestimate _her._

"Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot." Melanite sighed and smirked, summoning her scythe. She lifted it up behind her head, holding both ends, and lightly hooked the handle around the back of her neck as she went on casually, "maybe I was a bit overzealous, and I'm sorry for that! I kind of lost my gem there for a second, I'll admit. I was wrong. Talking is more your thing, isn't it?" Her gaze lingered on Steven for a moment, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Sure, let's talk," Clementine sneered. "Let's talk about why I shouldn't shatter you right now."

Melanite paused then, eyes straying toward the Jasper. A glimmer of recognition finally crossed her face, after a few seconds of staring, and the corners of her lips tugged upwards into a pleased smile as she tilted her head. "Say… I remember you…" Clementine stiffened at this, and Steven jerked his shoulders back. "You're the gem that other pretty little Jasper called out to, aren't you? 'Clementine'? Yeah! Remember? She squealed your name just before I put-"

"That's _enough!"_ Steven yelled, watching Clementine out of the corner of his eye for a moment. The Jasper's expression spasmed, mixtures of pain and grief and anger flickering across her features, and it was a wonder she hadn't lunged and attacked yet. "I'd advise you to _shut up."_

"Ooh." Melanite grinned, looking back at him. "Okay, your _royal_ highness."

Steven took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Stars, the _fury_ he felt toward these gems. And Melanite in particular just seemed to know exactly what buttons to press to drive all of them insane. He shifted a little where he stood, adjusting his grip on his scythe, while Melanite just let out a sigh and crossed forward a few steps. The hybrid bared his teeth and _growled_ , a low, animalistic sound - and he heard Lion do the same, actually - but the gem didn't appear fazed. "Look, there's no need to get feisty," she called. "At all! I already told you, I'm willing to strike a deal. And if I were you…" Her face split into a grin again, cold and empty, as she glanced them over, and Steven rolled his shoulders back. "I'd reconsider. You don't want _me_ as a problem, dear. Sooo…" She looked back at Steven expectantly, winking. "Ready to book your flight? One-way ticket to Homeworld, babyface, and your friends can stay here safe and sound."

"Well, as much as I appreciate such a _generous_ offer, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline all the same," Steven retorted, and took a brief moment of satisfaction in watching Melanite's smile waver, just for a second. "You've got no right coming to my planet demanding _anything_ from-"

" _Your_ planet?" Melanite cut him off, and Steven startled a little at the amount of venom in her voice, existing in such stark contrast to the false sweetness her tone usually held that it took him a few seconds to realize that he may have just genuinely pissed her off. The pleasure that flushed through him, churning through his chest and stomach and making his spine tingle in response, was almost as terrifying as seeing the grin on her face melt into a cold, dangerous scowl, the morbid amusement in her eyes replaced with contempt. "Darling, let's get one thing straight. I was made here _long_ before the Earth was yours. Make no mistake…" She lowered her scythe and stepped forward again, lifting her chin and narrowing her eyes down at him. Steven simply stared at her, meeting her dark gaze steadily. "The Earth was _my_ planet first."

Steven narrowed his eyes, peering up at her through his lashes, and stepped forward. "Well, it's _my_ planet _now._ And you already made yourself our _problem_ the moment you stepped foot on it. So let's skip the deals and the villain monologuing and the whole back and forth thing." He glanced past her, fixing his gaze on the other rebels for a moment, and met Angel Quartz's eyes briefly before he looked back at Melanite. "Actions speak louder than words, right, _darling?"_

Melanite stared at him, an almost blank expression on her face. Then, finally, she just smiled, devoid of humor, devoid of the fake sweetness she'd been displaying, and raised a hand.

"Right," she replied, and the rebels attacked.

Steven spun his scythe, summoned his shield, and the Crystal Gems lunged.


	12. Chapter 12

Steven fought his way through the rebels, meeting Angel Quartz dead on.

"Welcome back," she sneered, swinging her pickaxe at him, and he jumped back to avoid the blow, bringing his shield up to block it. She pulled back, stepping away before he could retaliate, but he moved forward with her after a few seconds, tightening his grip on the scythe. A flash of pink from the corner of his eye told him that Cherry Quartz was joining the fight, and it didn't take him too long to shift his focus to both of them. He blocked another swing from Angel Quartz, scowling, and slashed his scythe out at Cherry. The rest of the battlefield briefly fizzled to nothing; he heard grunts and snarls and weapons clashing as the rebels and Crystal Gems fought, adrenaline pumping hard through his veins as he fought. Angel slipped around behind him, slamming the blunt end of her pickaxe into his spine before he could turn to face her.

He could have sworn he felt something crack, and pain flushed through him, his entire body rocking with the force of it. Clenching his teeth, the hybrid breathed in and spun around, not waiting for it to subside. He swung at Angel Quartz without really looking, managing to snag her shoulder, and the gem let out a yell and leaped backwards, stumbling a little on her feet as she retreated. Steven rolled his shoulders back, pain subsiding, and turned back to Cherry Quartz.

"What's up, meatball?" Cherry Quartz asked him sweetly, circling around him as she twirled her dagger. Steven turned with her, narrowing his eyes as she stopped beside Angel Quartz, while the blue gem pushed herself up again and tightened her grip on her pickaxe, composing herself.

Steven kept his gaze focused on them, but he didn't miss the pale pink blur approaching from behind them. He narrowed his eyes slightly, twirling his scythe. "Nothing much. 'Sup with you?"

Angel Quartz growled, bared her teeth, and lunged. Steven leaped back and slammed his shield forward as she swung, shoving it against her stomach and sending her flying backwards. He turned to Cherry Quartz completely while Lars, who had jumped into the fight the moment Angel Quartz had lunged, grabbed the pink gem by the hair and swung her around after Angel Quartz, sending them clashing together just as Angel had started pushing herself back to her feet again. The gems screeched as they crashed into each other, falling back to the sand, and he smirked.

"Looked like you needed a hand," Lars commented, sword ready as the gems picked themselves back up. Steven let out a quiet hum of thanks and shifted his gaze around, taking the chance while the other two were busy to check up on the rest of the gems. He caught sight of Amethyst and Pearl fighting side by side; they managed to poof two rebels right off the bat. He also noticed, on the other side of the battlefield the beach had all too quickly become, Berry and Lemon Lime were fighting someone together, Berry up close and Lemon Lime a few feet away, shooting arrows while Berry ran circles around them, dodging attacks and keeping them still. He smirked to himself, just for a second, when Lemon Lime managed to poof them via an arrow through the chest, and turned his attention back to Angel Quartz and Cherry Quartz.

"You," Cherry Quartz growled, eyes on Lars, and the pink human offered a toothy grin. " _Traitor._ "

"Traitor?" Lars scoffed. "Hardly." Then he grinned, glancing at Steven, and the hybrid allowed the corners of his lips to tug upwards as he went on, "you can't betray someone you were never loyal to." He lunged without waiting for a response, slashing his sword down toward Cherry Quartz; while they fought, Steven turned his full attention back to Angel Quartz, ready with his scythe when the blue gem lunged for him. They fought for a moment, trading and dodging blows; Angel Quartz managed to knock him back against part of the broken hand, cornering him against it as she knocked his shield out of the way and slashed down at him, hitting his arm.

The wound took a second to sting; Steven let out a muffled yell through clenched teeth at the impact, and breathed through his nose when the pain set in. He didn't take the time to heal himself yet; he blocked another blow with his shield and swung his scythe backwards, breaking off the top part of the hand he was trapped against so that he could jump backwards over it, effectively putting it between himself and Angel Quartz. Granted, she demolished the rest of it with her pickaxe rather quickly and lunged at him, but he managed to get his bearings by then; he retreated as they fought, and she advanced just as quickly. He couldn't see Cherry Quartz and Lars anymore, and he had to keep looking back to make sure he didn't bump into anyone.

Finally, he managed to turn his scythe and catch the blade of her pickaxe with the handle when she swung at him again. Instead of pushing forward, he pulled; yanking the weapon out of her grip and effectively discarding it in the sand beside him, he spun and slashed at her again. She jumped back from him, the blade coming just inches away from her stomach, and staggered.

"Steven!"

He twitched at the sound of his name, and looked up.

Lars lunged out of nowhere, briefly turning in his direction to toss something to him. He stopped his shield to catch it as Angel Quartz turned to see what the commotion was, and his hands closed around Cherry Quartz's gem just as Lars barreled into the blue gem and sent the two of them tumbling, clashing and rolling across the sand. The pickaxe beside Steven vanished as Angel Quartz summoned another one; the hybrid bubbled Cherry Quartz's gem quickly, sending it to his gem for now, and diminished his shield with a flick of his wrist to summon a new one.

He took a deep breath and turned back to the fight, making his way through the crowd. He lunged at a rebel Candy was fighting - the Pearl was surrounded by like, three of them - and managed to poof them whie Candy took the other two out damn near effortlessly. Briefly, he offered the pink Pearl an amused smile before he turned and prepared to lunge at another rebel - only to freeze, heart plummeting to his stomach, when he heard a sudden, pained scream.

His eyes followed the sound and found Connie, hunched over in the sand with the sword beside her, hands covering her throat. A gem Steven recognized well stood over her, weapon raised.

Tiger's Eye.

He was quick to lunge, and so was Lion; the pink beast went right for the gem, roaring as he knocked her back and away from the human. Steven made a direct beeline for Connie, poofing another rebel that had gotten in his way but not bothering to stop and bubble the gem right then.

The sight of blood pouring through her fingers, held tightly over her throat, was petrifying; she didn't look up as he approached her, and she hardly reacted when he grabbed her and pulled her up against him. He turned, blocking an attack from another rebel, and summoned his shield underneath him and Connie to lift them up into the air with it, using his floating powers to hold it steady in the air. He didn't waste a moment after that, bringing them up into the air swiftly, closer to the beach house and turning to press a kiss to Connie's forehead. She melted against him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her in response, shifting his foot back against the shield and forcing them to slow before he brought them to the ground. It took a bit of an effort to stop them without completely flinging them off of the shield, and their landing wasn't entirely graceful, but he did manage to swoop down and land them just under the porch, far away from the fight.

He stumbled a bit as they landed, keeping her close. He felt her fingers dig into his shirt, holding on tightly; it took him a good few seconds to force himself to pull away to get a good look at her.

"Let me see," he urged softly, and Connie pulled her hands away from her throat, fingers stained with blood. Steven sucked in a shaky breath, taking her hands carefully and ducking his head to get a better look at where the wound had been. It had closed up and healed over by now, thankfully, but there was still blood on her skin, trickling down, that hadn't even had the chance to dry yet. His stomach twisted sharply, nausea rolling through his gut at the realization that he could have very well just lost her. If he hadn't gotten to her in time, if his healing powers hadn't worked, if the wound had been any deeper, he could have lost her. She could have just died.

He wondered, briefly, if he would have been able to bring her back like he had with Lars.

(Somehow, the thought didn't make him feel any better.)

He tightened his grip on her hands, knuckled turning white; Connie didn't seem to notice. She finally lifted her gaze, having been staring at the blood staining her fingers, and looked up at him again; she looked shaken, _visibly_ shaken, and yet she still managed to whisper, "I'm okay."

Steven shook his head in disbelief. "You could have just-" He ran his tongue over his lips and swallowed, taking a deep breath and letting it out through his teeth, rolling his shoulders back.

Connie hesitated and grimaced. "I know."

"This is why I didn't want you…" The hybrid shook his head, frustrated, and pulled away. He looked down at his hands for a moment, smeared with blood - _her_ blood, _dammit_ \- then glanced across the ground for his scythe, which he'd abandoned on the ground the moment they landed. He didn't make any move to pick it up yet, careful to rub his hands clean of the blood before he reached down to wrap his fingers around the handle, realizing too late that he was shaking.

After a moment, he summoned another shield and handed it to her. She blinked as she took it, holding it carefully, and Steven let some of the tension ease from his shoulders. Some, not all. "Stay close to me," he ordered sharply, and Connie looked somewhat startled at first, raising her eyebrows up at him for a moment before letting the corners of her mouth tug into a brief smile.

"Okay."

Steven hesitated, glancing back toward the battlefield for a moment, watching the rebels and the gems clash. As the rest of his fear finally dwindled a little bit, he also realized that there weren't nearly as many rebels as there had been the first time around. With a flicker of relief, he noted that the Crystal Gems were doing a hell of a job at driving them back, mostly because they were sticking in teams; Candy, Berry, Lemon Lime and Peridot were fighting against Tiger's Eye and some other rebels now, Amethyst and Pearl were side by side, and Garnet and Bismuth were together taking on Melanite herself. Aqua was tangling with Angel Quartz now at Lars's side, and Spinel had wrapped a rebel up in her arms, effectively trapping them so that the Rutile twins and Rhodonite could poof them. At the moment, he knew, they had the upper hand.

(But he also knew from experience that that could change in an instant.)

Melanite seemed to realize her numbers were dwindling, too; she kept backing off toward her ship whenever she had the chance to, fending off Garnet and Bismuth as best as she could as she tried to retreat. Steven took a deep breath and turned back to Connie, offering her a nod and summoning another shield underneath them. She wrapped her arms around him as he lifted them up into the air, slow and steady, and flew them out from under the porch to rejoin the fight. Landing was, once again, a tricky feat; he dove low enough to the ground where Connie's sword was for her to jump off and grab it again, then looked ahead toward Tiger's Eye and the others; the gem was grinning as she and Candy clashed, slashing her battleaxe down at the pink Pearl carelessly, and Steven gritted his teeth, anger flushing through him, then paused.

He tilted the shield forward, gaining speed as he soared through the air, and crashed himself straight into the gem. He managed to grab a handful of hair, diminishing the shield as they tumbled, and shifted slightly to slam Tiger's Eye under him as they finally skidded to a stop in the sand, pinning the other gem down. He traded his grip on her hair to grab her by the throat instead, raising his scythe, but she was quicker to knock his hand off, kicking him off of her.

The hybrid scrambled back, using his scythe to heave himself up while Tiger's Eye jumped to her feet and summoned her battleaxe again. They clashed, over and over again; she managed to grab him by the shirt with one hand and haul him up off of his feet, throwing him into a rock.

He summoned a shield to take the blow as she slashed down at him, breath hitching.

The shield broke and Tiger's Eye lifted her battleaxe to lash down again. Impulsively, Steven reacted; he looked for the first open spot he could see, and slashed at the same time she did.

The blade struck her gem, and she froze.

He froze, too, but not for the same reason.

Releasing her weapon, the gem staggered back, away from him. The fighting continued to rage on around them; nobody seemed to notice, or care, that the two of them had stopped. Everything else kept moving, but Steven felt frozen in time for a second, rigid where he stood. His back ached, pressed up hard against the rock… no, every part of him ached; the pain spread slowly, a tingling, agonizing sensation. He couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from, where it started; he just knew that it was there, that it hurt, and as it began to radiate across his bones, his veins, until every inch of him was consumed in it, he felt his knees go weak, legs buckling underneath him. The scythe slid from his fingers, and, with a flicker, it disappeared.

In front of him, Tiger's Eye stood still with her hand on her cheek, where her gem was. Her form glitched, distorting for a second, and the battleaxe, stuck where it had struck Steven's stomach, vanished with a flicker. Steven stared for a moment, breathing heavily through the pain; the gem simply stared back at him, her wide eyes meeting Steven's gaze steadily, before she poofed.

Her gem fell to the sand, a spiderweb crack spread across it like broken glass seconds away from shattering, and Steven's mind whirled dangerously for a moment as he realized he could have very well just shattered a gem, if he had applied any more force, any more pressure…

Pain spasmed through him abruptly, cutting his thoughts off and eliciting a sharp, startled scream from the hybrid's lips. He covered his mouth and doubled over, one hand twitching down toward his stomach instinctively, and with a start, he realized that was where the source of the pain was. His stomach. Head fogged as he tried to make sense of it, he curled his fingers around his gem tightly, pressing down against it, only to wrench his hand away with another scream when another burst of pain shot through him in the same area, a split-second rush of pure agony that split right through his gem - oh, oh stars, oh stars it was his _gem_ that was hurting like that, his _gem_ was the source of all this pain, _something was wrong with his_ _ **gem-**_

He groaned, gasping, and squeezed his eyes shut. A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched, _violently;_ the hand retracted at once, startled, then returned tentatively, hesitantly.

"Steven?" Pearl's voice sounded like it was coming from underwater. "Steven, are you okay?"

"No," Steven moaned, breath coming in harsh spurts through his nose as he struggled to blink his eyes open. Everything was too bright; the world felt hot, like the sun was beating down on him a little too hard, and he could feel the sweat forming on his forehead and the back of his neck. He'd never felt pain like this before; not even with the destabilizers. Tears blurred his vision, and he blinked furiously as he fought to look up, flinching away from the glaring light overhead and instinctively pressing himself closer to Pearl. And then everything got _loud;_ he heard screaming, fighting, weapons and… and he heard gems being poofed, he heard Candy-

Candy screamed, and Berry yelled Lemon Lime's name, and-

The world blacked out for a second, and the sound turned to static, and deafened completely. Pearl moved him a little and he couldn't keep himself from crying out in time, another rush of pain flushing straight through his stomach, and he found himself doubling over, curling in on himself. His hands moved instinctively, closer to his gem but not quite touching, and Pearl froze. She was quicker to move him that time, despite the way he screamed and thrashed against her hold as the pain worsened; she managed to hitch his shirt up just enough to see his gem, and the sound returned when she screamed and whipped her head around, yelling for the others over her shoulder. Through the blur of tears, he saw bright colors flashing, he heard the rumble of the Sun Incinerator roaring to life, he saw pink and heard the familiar thundering of pawsteps as Lion bounded over to them with Connie safe and secure on his back, looking worried.

"What's going on? What happened? Steven-?"

"He's cracked, his gem is cracked," Pearl choked out, "the fountain, we need-"

She moved him again, but he managed to cut his scream off, silencing it to a whimper instead. More hands joined Pearl's in lifting him up, and he huffed and grunted through spasms and bursts of pain as he was lifted up to Lion's back, where Connie's shaking arms held him tight.

"Get to safety," Garnet's voice joined the others as she yelled across the beach, toward where the sound of the ship was. Steven blinked his eyes open again, twisting his head to look. The fusion had joined them, leaving a reluctant Amethyst behind with the others; he blinked the tears from his vision to watch them file into the ship, then swung his gaze around to survey the rest of the beach. The entire area had cleared; no sign of the rebels, or Melanite's ship to be seen.

The world tilted dangerously as Lion roared, the sound too loud to his ears all of a sudden. He leaped forward in the same instant, and Steven bit back another scream from the movement.

He was aware enough to know where they were going.

"Oh, Steven…" He heard Pearl sobbing, quietly, the sound somewhat muffled. He winced, body spasming through another rush of pain, and shuddered in Connie's hold as he struggled to _think._ He just couldn't think. He was aware, he knew what was happening around him, but he couldn't think clearly. He couldn't think clearly enough to speak or move on his own or look around; his gaze was fixed ahead as they dove through the portal, and Lion bounded forward without pause to bring them closer to the edge of the fountain. Steven's eyes fixed on the statue for only a second before his eyes fell to the water, but only because a pair of strong arms had wrapped around him before they'd completely stopped - they felt like Garnet's arms, honestly - and he was lifted up into the air at an alarming rate, and lowered into the water just as quickly.

The pain halted just like that, all at once, too suddenly for him to process.

Steven wavered, blinked, and collapsed backwards into Garnet's arms as everything shut down.


	13. Chapter 13

_Steven's scythe connected with Tiger's Eye's gem and stuck there for a second; the sound of the gem cracking was like glass breaking. It was a sound that he'd heard before, such a horrible, twisted sound that made his heart plummet straight to his stomach. He yanked the scythe back at once, regret already bubbling up in his chest, horror and guilt mixing at once. The gem stumbled back, staggering away from him, lifting a hand to her cheek; the battleaxe was abandoned on the ground, and Steven, for a moment, thought that was wrong. Hadn't she just attacked him at the same time? He didn't have too much time to dwell on that thought before Tiger's Eye poofed, with a scream, and her gem cracked and split apart into shards._

_They were blue as they fell._

_They were pink when they landed._

* * *

Steven woke with a start, pushing himself to sit up and rising to his feet before he could even completely register what was going on. The ground rumbled underneath him as he stood, startling enough that he almost fell back again, but something pressed up against him from behind before he had the chance to lose his balance. He froze for a moment, sinking back against it, then whirled around. His franticity diminished slightly upon seeing it was just Lion, barely having a chance to catch the pink beast's worried gaze before the animal pressed forward and rasped his tongue over the hybrid's face with a sound somewhere between a huff and a grunt. Steven breathed in sharply through his teeth, resting a hand against his head.

It took a moment for everything to come back to him; he remembered fighting, he remembered Tiger's Eye. Most things after that were a blur, though; he remembered the pain that had split through his stomach, radiating from his gem and consuming every inch of his body… he remembered Pearl saying that he was cracked, and he remembered them bringing him to the fountain. Lion pressed closer to him, right up against him, and pressed his head into the hybrid's chest; Steven found himself wrapping his arms around him completely as he took a look around.

He recognized the ship instantly now that he had calmed down somewhat. Part of it, anyway; the lower level. Fluorite and Padparadscha were nearby; the fusion was making her way toward the stairs, slowly climbing up to poke her head up to the top floor. Steven kept his hand on Lion's head for a moment, taking another breath to steady himself, then pulled away and headed up the other staircase on unsteady legs. Lion trotted after him dutifully, keeping himself close to the hybrid. Upstairs, the others had settled into their seats, though none of them looked particularly comfortable. Steven also noticed that Candy and Lemon Lime weren't among them, and Berry was sitting near the control panel, her hands wrapped tightly around something, while the Rutile twins piloted the ship. Pearl was holding her phone up to her face, the receiver inches away from her mouth as she spoke into it. Connie was the first one to look up when Steven and Lion made their way upstairs, and she immediately jumped to her feet and rushed over to them.

"Steven," she greeted, relieved, and Pearl's gaze snapped up at once. "Are you okay?"

"I… don't…" Steven began, furrowing his eyebrows. He lowered his gaze after a second, staring at the tear in the fabric of his shirt where his gem was, and reached down with trembling fingers to tug his shirt up enough to get a good look at his gem. It was completely fine, healed over, not even the smallest crack to indicate that anything had ever been wrong with it to begin with. The hybrid stared for a moment, fingers tight around his shirt, and frowned. "I don't know. What…?"

"Take it easy, little man. Come sit down," Amethyst warned as she stood up, and Connie took Steven's hand at once to lead him over to them. He followed without complaint, loosening his grip on his shirt without quite letting go, and lifted his gaze back to them with a frown. No, he knew what had happened - to _him_ , anyway. He was, admittedly, confused as to why they were all piled up in the ship now, why Berry wasn't flying it, where the hell they were going, and where Candy and Lemon Lime were. He had too many questions at the moment to even begin knowing where to start, so he just fell silent as he sank back into the seat, and held his stomach.

"You were cracked," Pearl told him, scooting closer to the edge of her seat and leaning forward to inspect Steven's gem. She was still holding the phone; the hybrid glanced at it, holding still.

"Steven?" Greg's worried voice came from it after a second. "Is he awake? Is he okay?"

"I'm okay, Dad," Steven called immediately, a rush of guilt churning in his stomach for a second. It wasn't his fault that he'd gotten cracked, but he knew this couldn't be easy for his poor father knowing the kind of danger he was in now. He looked down for a second, cautiously touching his gem, and once he was satisfied that the pain really was gone and there was nothing to fear, he curled his fingers around it and dropped his shirt, letting the hem of it pool around his wrist. "Now, at least," he mumbled, mostly to himself, and glanced up. "That was terrifying…" He paused, and winced, recalling how _agonizing_ it had felt, like being ripped apart… "... it hurt…"

Amethyst offered a sympathetic look and squeezed in between Steven and Garnet's chairs while the fusion reached out and rested a hand on his head. "Steven," she began carefully, and he glanced over at her from the corner of his eye. "We think it would be best if we take you and Connie to Empire City with Greg and the rest of the town while we take care of Melanite."

"What?" Steven stared at her, wide-eyed, for a moment, then shook his head furiously. "No way, I…" He trailed off, furrowing his eyebrows, and glanced away. Actually, that didn't really sound like an unreasonable request after everything that had just happened. Connie almost getting killed, and then _him_ almost getting killed… and he knew he could have very well just been killed, he wasn't making any mistake about that. They were both lucky to be alive right now. The hybrid fixed his gaze on Connie for a moment; his best friend grimaced, glancing at Garnet briefly.

But they were so close, weren't they? "But we… Melanite's crew," he finally protested, shifting his gaze back to the gems. "We're taking them down, aren't we? There's not nearly as many as there were when she showed up. We're _winning_ ," he insisted. "I can still fight. I promise, I can."

"Steven…" Greg started, and his voice faltered for a moment.

"Dad," Steven started softly, and swallowed, taking a deep breath. "Okay, how about this? We should be able to finish them off next time. We've got-" He stopped then, blinking, as something else occurred to him, and quickly snapped his gaze away from the phone to look around the ship. "Wait, where's Lemon Lime and Candy?" He demanded, and Berry glanced up briefly from where she was sitting, shifting slightly to face them. She raised a hand, and the hybrid froze for a second, seeing the Peridot and pink Pearl's gems tucked securely into the palm of her hand.

"They were poofed just before the rebels retreated," Berry grunted. The anger flickering through her eyes was like nothing he'd ever seen before, a dark, dangerous rage that even Berry hadn't reached before that moment. He looked back down at the gems, stunned, and sank back sharply. At least they were _okay;_ they hadn't lost anyone, at least. As his fury for the rebels doubled, Steven knew there was no way in hell he was going back to Empire City right now. Staying and fighting was the only option he was open to at that point; he was going to be there when they took Melanite down, however they had to do it, and Steven wasn't going to miss out on the chance to see her finally crumble along with the rest of her twisted excuse for a rebellion.

"I'm fighting," he said quietly, not a request for permission, or argument, but a statement, a fact.

The gems exchanged a glance, mumbling begrudging agreements, and Pearl turned back to the phone. "We'll… we'll keep a better eye on him, Greg, I'm so sorry. We won't let him out of our-"

"Jeez, Pearl… I don't blame any of _you_ ," Greg interrupted, though his tone implied there was _someone_ to blame, a rare pinch of anger that had Steven's eyes snapping back to the phone in an instant. "I know you'll take care of him as best as you can, just…" He trailed off, silent for a moment. Steven ducked his head, gazing at the phone. "... if anything else happens, I don't care what he says, you bring him here as soon as you can. And Steven, no arguing," he warned, and Steven furrowed his eyebrows, surprised by the firm tone, and lifted his head again with a sigh.

"Yes, sir."

There was a short pause; Steven realized his mistake a little too late, wincing, but Greg only offered a soft mumble of, "we're talking about that later." He sighed, worried, "I love you, bud."

"I love you, too. I'll be more careful," Steven added, biting the inside of his cheek. He looked down for a moment, hand still curled tightly around his gem. Faintly, almost _distractedly_ , it hummed against his touch, a gentle thrumming like the beat of a drum… like a heartbeat. He ran his thumb over it as he listened, tracing it carefully. "It'll be over soon," he murmured.

"Just keep yourself safe, Schtu-ball," Greg replied gently. "Ah- tell Connie to call her parents, they're, uh…" There was a pause and some yelling in the background, and Connie lifted her head at once, an alarmed look rapidly flicking across her features. "They're… pretty worried."

Connie mumbled something under her breath that sounded dangerously close to 'shit'.

Steven couldn't bite back a grin in time, ducking his head and glancing away again while the human pulled her phone out of her duffle bag and headed downstairs. The hybrid reached up, running his fingers through his hair, and leaned his head back with a sigh. "She's calling them," he told Greg, watching Connie go, and he heard Greg call something over his shoulder, presumably to Priyanka and Doug, before his father spoke into the phone again, relieved now.

"Good." There was a pause, and Greg's voice quieted a little as he asked, "so what happened? The gems told me your gem was cracked and they took you to the fountain and all, but…"

"Oh." Steven shifted slightly, pressing his mouth into a thin line as he recalled the fight with Tiger's Eye. His gaze trailed after Connie briefly, wondering for a second if they'd even seen the gem that had done it, if Connie knew it was the same one that had hurt her. Actually, now that he thought about it… stars, she was cracked too, wasn't she? Despite himself, he couldn't keep himself from wincing sympathetically at the thought. He wouldn't have been able to bring himself to crack another gem on purpose even before he knew what it felt like, but now that he did, he _especially_ felt something akin to sympathy for the gem, despite what she had done to Connie.

And to him… she had aimed right for the gem, hadn't she? She'd seen him during the first battle, back on the Pyrope Colony. She knew where his gem _was._ It hadn't been a frantic, blind swing like his had been, a last-ditch effort to defend herself. She had _aimed_ for his gem. She had fully intended to shatter him with that blow. Thinking back on it now, remembering how the blade had been _stuck_ in the crack it had made, he wondered how it _hadn't_ shattered him.

The hybrid blinked, distracted, and gazed down at where his gem was, his hand still clasped tightly around it, before he forced himself to reply, "it, um… I was just… I was just fighting, and…" He sucked in a breath through his teeth and frowned. "One of the rebels had cornered me, I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings." _Agate would be furious with me for that,_ he knew immediately, making a face. That was one of the many things she had stressed on the way to the Pyrope Colony. "But I'm okay. Actually, uh, the gem that did it, before she attacked me, I was trying to get away and I kind of-" He huffed out a laugh, albeit somewhat pained. Despite his anger toward the rebels, he was absolutely guilt-ridden over what he did. "Accidentally cracked her gem, too, and she poofed… did anyone see it? On the beach?"

Pearl frowned, exchanging a glance with the others. "I didn't see any gem… though I'll admit I wasn't really paying attention," she mumbled, sparing a worried glance toward Steven's stomach, and the hybrid sank back with a grimace. That meant she was still on the beach… could she even reform like that, cracked as she was? He shuddered at the thought of it, of how much pain she must be in, and how much pain she'd definitely be in if she reformed right now. "We should probably go back and look for her," the pale gem sighed, covering her face.

"Why?" Amethyst muttered. "She's not exactly a threat right now."

"No, but…" Steven sighed, glancing away. "I don't wanna leave her out there cracked."

Amethyst snorted, but the corners of her lips tilted up into a faint smile as she shook her head at him. Bismuth offered him an incredulous look, while Pearl and Garnet exchanged fond glances.

"Hey," Steven defended himself, managing a tired smirk. "It _hurts_."

"Oh, I know." Amethyst's smile shifted, a little more strained, but it didn't vanish. " _Trust_ me."

Steven furrowed his eyebrows, silent for a moment. He remembered when Amethyst had cracked… before he could lose himself in the memory, however, a pink glow caught his attention from the corner of his eye; he turned his head at once to watch, as Berry shifted Lemon Lime's gem to one hand and held up Candy's gem with the other one, allowing it to rise up into the air so that the pink gem could reform. She sank back again almost immediately, trading glances between the gems briefly, and Steven sat up and leaned forward a little. Everyone seemed to be poofing lately… but they all came back much different when they did. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't interested in seeing what Candy looked like now.

She landed on her toes, one foot crossed gracefully in front of the other, hands up at her sides, and blinked her eyes open. Her outfit was much different; instead of the pale pink, tank top-style top she had worn before, she now wore a dark pink outfit that resembled something of a turtleneck. It didn't cover her shoulders, and arched in an upside down 'V' just above her stomach. The outfit picked up again just below her stomach, arching downwards into a 'V' - the shape the outfit as a whole made resembled a diamond, if he was being completely honest - and the leggings cut off just above her thighs. Wrapped around her legs, all the way down to her ankles, she wore some sort of pale pink, transparent fabric, not quite a skirt, but too loose to be considered pants. She also wore a pale of gloves to match the outfit; the top half was dark pink, with white stars on the backs of her hands, and the undersides of the gloves were white.

Steven smiled slightly, relieved to see her, and stood up while Pearl offered Greg a quick goodbye and a promise to call back soon before she hung up the phone. "Welcome back," the hybrid sighed, venturing closer to the pink Pearl, and Candy looked up at him with wide eyes. Then she gasped and whirled around, eyes darting around, presumably in search of Lemon Lime, because Berry was quick to hold up the Peridot's gem before the Pearl could freak out.

"He's fine," the Ruby muttered, and fell silent again with a scowl.

Candy covered her mouth, looking nothing short of worried, and Steven took a deep breath and eased himself into the chair beside Berry's. Candy ended up sitting down on her other side, eyes fixed on Lemon Lime's gem, which the Ruby didn't seem to have any plans of letting go of. Candy gazed at it for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. "... where did the rebels go? They retreated," she recalled, narrowing her eyes slightly, and Berry ducked her head with a faint nod.

Clementine shifted slightly where she sat, crossing her arms. "We don't know where they are. Melanite took her crew and dipped." She rolled her eyes, looking irritated. "Freaking cowards."

Candy frowned, narrowing her eyes further. "Where are we going?"

Steven hummed softly, glancing out the window, and blinked. He was startled to see that it was night time already, the stars glittering brightly across the pitch black sky. Steven found himself staring for a while, watching thin, wispy clouds drift across in front of the moon, and bit the inside of his cheek with a frown as he sank back in his seat and rolled his shoulders back. The Rutile twins glanced back from their place at the control panel, then turned their gazes to where Lars sat in his seat in the center of the ship. The pink human snapped back to attention quickly, lifting his head from his hand with a frown, and glanced out the window before simply shrugging.

"Let's head back to the beach," Steven offered, sitting up and leaning forward a little in his seat. The Rutile twins turned to obey immediately, while Steven went on, "I wanna find that gem."

"What gem?" Candy asked curiously.

"The gem I accidentally cracked before the rebels retreated," Steven murmured, and the pink Pearl raised her eyebrows in surprise, sinking back with a somewhat startled look on her face. "Who happens to be the same gem that nearly killed Connie and then cracked _me_ before she poofed - I just don't wanna leave her out there cracked. She'd be better off in a bubble where she can't hurt anyone else, and she's not hurt either." He turned his head, glancing over his shoulder when he heard Connie heading back up the stairs, a startling mixture of frustrated and amused. He watched her carefully as she crossed over to them with Lion at her side and sank down into the seat beside Steven's, offering the hybrid an exhausted smile. "You okay?"

"Fine." Connie sighed, and smiled, rolling her eyes. "They're just worried."

"Understandably so," Steven murmured, glancing down to her neck briefly, and Connie rolled her eyes again, this time toward him, and raised an eyebrow skeptically in response. "I know," the hybrid responded before she had the chance to say anything. "I know, I'm one to talk."

Connie smirked, amused, and opened her mouth to respond. Whatever she was about to say, however, was effectively drowned out by a loud, thundering crackle; Steven cringed back into his seat, encasing himself, Berry, Candy and Connie in a bubble instinctively at the familiar sound. It was distant enough to not be an immediate threat, he knew that logically - and yet, even safe and secure in the confines of the Sun Incinerator, he could damn near feel the heat from the blast, he could feel the impact of the explosion, and his heart stuttered and stopped as he stared ahead at the bright flare in the distance in front of them, flickers of flames and smoke.

He held his breath for a moment, then dropped the bubble and pushed himself up, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. The ship skidded to a stop for a second as the Rutile twins stared - _everyone_ stared - before Garnet was suddenly urging them to keep going, and they did.

"What the _shards…_?" Berry, effectively distracted from Lemon Lime's gem, opened her mouth and stared in open shock at the sight in front of them as they got closer, and Steven gasped.

The lighthouse…

Half of it was severed, smashed into pieces, blown to _bits_ , debris and glass strewn across the ground. What was still standing was steadily falling apart; pieces of it crumbled every now and again, falling into the fire below; flames had wrapped themselves around the lighthouse completely, licking at the walls of the house and attaching themselves to the bushes, and what remained of the fencing around the mountain. Steven was horrified enough seeing that alone; but it didn't take long for his gaze to climb steadily toward the top of what remained of the lighthouse, what was still left standing. As they drew closer, the hybrid sucked in another gasp that didn't come back out when he saw someone dangling from the edge, struggling to hold on while pieces of the lighthouse crumbled and chipped off around them and fell into the fire below.

He didn't have to look too closely to know who it was; Ronaldo was unmistakable to begin with, but there was only one person he could think of who would have been in the lighthouse right then, when everyone had been told to evacuate the city. His heart took off at an alarming rate, mouth going dry; his gaze snapped up to the ship hovering close to the lighthouse, torn between horror and rage, but it didn't take him long to tear his attention away. "We've got to save him. I-"

"What is he even _doing_ out here?!" Amethyst shrieked, pacing toward the windshield and staring out at the lighthouse in shock. "Everyone was supposed to- I thought you said everyone was-?"

"He was with his dad and Peedee," Connie sounded shocked. "He must have come back…"

"Stop the ship," Steven ordered, already turning to head for the door. Everything happened pretty quickly then; the hybrid stopped to let the ship come to a complete stop before he opened the door, and Connie was quick to catch up to him, grabbing the hybrid's arm to turn him around. He stared down at her for a moment, mouth open to protest, "we don't have time for-"

"You're not going out there by _yourself_ ," Connie snapped, and Steven blinked.

He glanced down at her hand on his arm, and furrowed his eyebrows, understanding.

It didn't take long for them to start glowing; and, as they did, Lemon Lime's gem did the same. Berry's eyes widened, snapping her gaze back and forth between them rapidly; Stevonnie was the first to form completely. They stood in Steven's place, rigid with tension, hands clenched tight with anxiety. Their eyes burned as they blinked them open, dark with determination and rage and _worry_. Their shirt, too small to cover their gem as per usual, rested just above their stomach, and they wore Connie's dark blue vest overtop of it. Their hair was pulled back into a bun, with a few curls dangling down in front of their face. They didn't stop yet to see Lemon Lime, but the Peridot had finished reforming by the time the ship had finally pulled to a stop.

They pressed their hand to the panel beside the door, but Lion nudged their hand before they had the chance to jump out. They looked back, pausing, while the pink beast dropped Connie's bag at their feet and stepped back to let them pull the sword out, and they did so cautiously.

"Thanks, Lion." They reached out, touching his head, and frowned. "Stay here."

With one last glance toward the others, Stevonnie turned and jumped out of the ship, summoning a shield to land on and soaring up toward the lighthouse without a pause.


	14. Chapter 14

Stevonnie swooped down, steady on the shield, and grabbed Ronaldo by the shirt.

The human screamed as soon as they made contact, letting out a startled yell as his grip on the lighthouse loosened completely. Admittedly, the fusion dipped a little on the shield when he suddenly became ten times heavier in their grip, but it didn't take them long to haul him up onto the ship with them, letting out a quiet huff and looping around the building to head back to the ship. Ronaldo practically clung to them then, wide-eyed, _starry_ -eyed, really (and they thought it was quite a strange reaction to almost falling to his death in a fire, but they wouldn't say that), as the fusion tilted the shield up, raising a little higher, only to skid to a sharp stop. The Sun Incinerator was moving, and for good reason; Melanite's ship was shooting at it, one blast of bright, white energy right after the next. Stevonnie stared for a second, eyes flickering rapidly back and forth, and narrowed their eyes. They needed to get to safety, and they couldn't risk stopping for even a second to let Stevonnie and Ronaldo inside yet, but it was clear that the ship wasn't going to go far as long as they weren't inside. They needed to get Ronaldo away.

They scowled, tightening their grip on the human and their sword, and turned on the shield to dive downward to the beach. Ronaldo shrieked and yelped a little, pressing closer to them, and the fusion offered him a light, reassuring squeeze in response as they lowered the shield and skidded to a stop just inches from the sand. They came to an easier halt than Steven usually did - and the fusion smirked a little in their victory - but they were quick to usher Ronaldo off the shield, much to the human's dismay. "Wait, what are you doing?" He demanded, looking up at them, and then snapping his gaze up to the ships above them. Stevonnie followed his gaze.

"Don't worry," they replied without looking, watching the Sun Incinerator dodge another blast from Melanite's ship, and this time they retaliated with a blast of their own, forcing Melanite's ship to soar even higher into the sky. Stevonnie sighed, looking away. "Just get somewhere-"

They stopped, watching Ronaldo raise his phone toward the sky, very clearly recording. "Are you kidding me? This is amazing!" The human gushed, wide-eyed. Stevonnie stared at him, watching his glasses, hanging crooked on his face, reflect another blast from one of the ships above, and watching his face shift with mixtures of awe and excitement in response to it. "I mean, _who else_ do you think managed to get this close to an alien spaceship war? Nobody!"

 _Alien spaceship war_. Stevonnie shook their head, baffled. "What the _fuck_ did you just say?" Ronaldo froze for a second at that, looking at them in surprise, and the fusion clenched their free hand tight into a fist as they glared down at him. "Are you kidding me right now? Ronaldo, this isn't some kind of show for your entertainment, or something for your blog-! This is _dangerous,_ and you're lucky to be alive right now." They threw a hand back, gesturing back to the lighthouse, then tore their gaze back to the sky when Melanite's ship suddenly crashed sideways into it, knocking off another good chunk of what was left. "... ugh. Look, whatever- _stay down here_ and try and stay out of sight." Ronaldo just blinked at them, mouth half-open, as the fusion tilted the shield back and flew them back up into the sky, soaring upwards with a scowl.

They spun, facing the ships, and tightened their grip on the sword.

"Alright, Melanite," they muttered, forcing the corners of their lips upwards into a cold smile and soaring forward toward the ship. They dove under and circled around it, avoiding another blast - this time directed at them - and raising themself up completely to jump off of the shield, landing on top of the ship. They wavered a little as the ship moved again, and watched the Sun Incinerator immediately stall to a halt in front of them. Melanite's ship stilled underneath them as well, for a second, and the fusion smirked briefly as they made their way across the ship slowly. They sauntered, really, as they walked to the front of the ship, to the very end where it sharpened to a point, not unlike a drill. They steadied themself, looking down, and smirked.

The ship plummeted forward and Stevonnie grinned to themself, just for a second, then schooled their expression into a serious one. The ship dove toward the ground, and they stayed still, holding themself completely steady on the edge, until the last second. Only then did they push themself up, floating high into the air and looking down as the front of the ship slammed straight into the sand, burying itself into the ground and sending up a mushroom-shaped cloud.

Stevonnie landed in the sand a few feet away, and turned, surveying the length of the beach while they waited for something else to happen. The familiar glint of a gem caught their eye quickly; carefully, the fusion spun around and headed over without looking back, feeling a rush of relief upon seeing Tiger's Eye's gem half-way buried into the sand. She hadn't reformed yet.

They reached down, bubbling the gem without touching it, and sent it to their gem silently. They would take care of that later; it was safer in their gem for the time being, and Stevonnie didn't want to risk them reforming right then if they healed it now. Taking a deep breath, the fusion turned, rolling their shoulders back, and held their sword up slightly as the ship finally managed to pull itself out of the ground. Rather than lifting back into the air, however, it stayed low, close to the sand; Stevonnie paced forward a few steps, inclining their head forward, and waited.

A pleasant smile appeared on their face as the ship opened, but their eyes narrowed as Melanite walked out, with her scythe hefted over her shoulder. She came down the ramp alone; they understood, she didn't exactly have many gems to spare in a fight, and while Stevonnie wasn't stupid enough to take all of them on by themself, they definitely would be able to wait until the rest of the Crystal Gems caught up with them. They smirked for a moment - Melanite was being _careful_. She was being _cautious._ Which meant she knew they were a threat, which meant that, on some level, they were scaring her. Good. The fusion brushed their hair out of their face, taking a breath to steady themself, and made their way forward to meet Melanite.

"Good evening," they greeted sweetly, and Melanite smiled sharply at them, her eyes cold.

"Well, aren't you quite a sight? Absolutely _stunning_ , if I must say," the black gem purred, taking a few more steps forward. Stevonnie paused, making sure to keep some distance between them, while Melanite cocked her head and bared her teeth at the fusion in a grin. "Goodness, I wish you'd shown yourself sooner! It's such a shame I've already decided to grind you to gem dust."

Stevonnie tugged their lips into a lazy smile in response, pushing the sword into the ground and leaning against it with a hum. "Yeah, _damn,_ that's _definitely_ a shame. But, alas, if you've already made your decision! Why don't I… just rip it out myself and give it to you on a silver platter?"

Melanite raised her eyebrows and grinned, tilting her head. "Well, you certainly could do that, darling, you'd make my life much easier. Though you might not like what happens if you do."

"Oh." Stevonnie glanced at her gem, pursing their lips. "Maybe I'll just rip yours out instead."

"I would love," Melanite replied softly, "to see you try."

Stevonnie smiled coldly in response, roaming their eyes across her body carelessly before letting their gaze come to a stop on the scythe. They watched for a moment, just thinking, but found themself looking past her again when the ship rumbled to life. She didn't turn around, not seeming surprised at all as the ramp lifted and the door shut, and the ship shot straight up into the air; they did, out of the corner of their eye, see her smile widen the slightest bit when their eyebrows furrowed, but they didn't say a word. The Sun Incinerator was much quicker to move, then, dodging a blast from the other ship and soaring up into the sky again, though it continued to pause every now and again. Stevonnie understood, they didn't want to leave - but they had it.

The fusion watched for a moment, breathing in through their teeth, and turned their dark gaze back to Melanite, allowing the smile on their face to wither into a neutral expression. "Well, I guess that concludes our pleasant little chat. Back to our regularly scheduled program, huh?" They winked, and Melanite's eyebrows lifted even higher, a grin splitting across her face.

"Ooh, it's such a shame," she groaned, lifting her scythe from her shoulder. "I _like_ you." She stepped back, shifting one foot behind her and finally sparing a glance up toward the ships. Stevonnie smiled to themself, almost opening their mouth to respond - _("I wish the feeling was mutual")_ \- but they were quick to snap it shut when Melanite lunged at them. They summoned a shield quickly, though they knew it wouldn't do much against the scythe; they sprung backwards, half-jumping and half-using their floating powers to propel themself back and away from her, and Melanite pushed herself forward in response and slashed her scythe sideways.

"You know," Stevonnie began, blocking with their shield. The scythe went straight through, nicking their arm as it did, but they managed to jump and float backwards again before any real harm could be done. "Before what you did to Mandarin, Steven already wanted to take the rebels down. Then, he found out his friend was dead." They narrowed their eyes slightly, a pang of grief stirring in their chest. It caught them off guard just enough that Melanite's next swing almost landed; they summoned their shield in time to block it, letting it take most of the impact.

"It was nothing personal," Melanite assured, readying herself to swing again.

"I'm sure," Stevonnie replied indifferently. "But it doesn't matter. You killed an innocent gem." They summoned another shield to block the next swing at the last second, and jumped back.

Melanite growled, a frustrated look flickering across her face. She stepped back this time, eyes flicking wildly across the fusion's body as she took in their stance, and she seemed even more infuriated to realize that they stood mostly casually for the most part. Stance wide, body lowered, tense and ready to block her next attack - but they weren't making any effort to fight. Allowing their lips to tug upwards for a second, they recognized immediately that that must be a huge insult to someone like Melanite. _Oh, imagine the hit her ego must be taking right now._

"You killed an innocent gem," they continued simply. "You didn't care who she was, who she used to be, did you? You shattered her because you wanted to. Because you could. And I can't tell you how much Steven hates you for that - actually, I could, but I don't think I need to." They brought the sword up this time to block another attack, slamming the blade into the handle of the scythe and throwing themself forward to kick Melanite back, slamming their foot into her gut and knocking her backwards. "Point is, he hates you. He hated you before he even knew you, before he knew your name, who you were. He hated you before you were anything more to him - or, for that matter, anything more to _anyone_ than the gem that shattered one of his friends."

Melanite stumbled, looking positively _livid_ now as she regained her balance again and stepped away from them, fury flashing through her eyes as she glared up at the fusion and bared her teeth. Stevonnie raised their eyebrows mockingly in response, inclining their head, and smirked.

"But now that he _knows_ you," they continued, raising the sword again with a grin. "Now that he's met you in all your _glory_ , I can tell you with absolute certainty that he hates you even more." After a pause, in which the fusion pretended to think, Stevonnie allowed another smirk to flit across their face as they leveled their gaze with the furious gem's, raising their eyebrows slightly. "And, I can definitely say with certainty that _I_ do. You're an obnoxious little _coprolite_."

Melanite froze for a second, pupils shrinking, and Stevonnie took more satisfaction than fear in the anger that darkened her features. "You're a lot more talkative than Rosie is," she commented, oddly quiet now, as she shifted her grip on the scythe and hefted it up again. Stevonnie shrugged while the gem went on, "which is fine with me. Actually, I've got a question for you - goodness, it's been bugging me for a little while. Why on _Earth_ \- excuse the pun, dear - would you subject your _ever_ so precious friends and ' _family'_ to this?" She lifted a gloved hand and gestured toward the beach house, the temple, but Stevonnie didn't dare move their gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the fusion replied, and finally lunged. They lashed out, aiming to stab through the stomach, and they almost met their mark. But Melanite turned at the last second, and while the sword did strike her, slashing across her stomach and tearing a part of her uniform, it didn't quite have the desired effect. They spun around before she could use that to her advantage, and blocked another blow from the scythe with a shield. "Elaborate?"

"Happily," Melanite growled, slashing again. Stevonnie kicked themself backwards, holding their breath as the scythe came inches away from their face. "I gave you - pardon me, I gave _Rose_ \- the option to leave willingly on the terms that I'd spare this miserable planet, and he refused."

"Steven," Stevonnie emphasized simply, "made the choice to stay and fight-"

"And thus subject everyone else to do the same?" Melanite countered, offering a grin in their direction, sharp like shattered glass, and the fusion narrowed their eyes. "You've condemned them all to watch this planet suffer. And make no mistake, I will absolutely destroy this place bit by bit, piece by piece, building by building until there's nothing left." She lashed out and Stevonnie blocked with a shield yet again, swinging their sword at the same time. Melanite managed to detangle herself just in time to avoid getting slashed across the throat. "I'm sorry, but it just seems a bit counterproductive if you ask me. You want to stay and fight for your planet, for your home, yet you're just going to stand here and let me destroy it regardless? It didn't have to be like this, Steven. You could have come with me, and left them here, safe."

"I'm not the only one that wants to fight," Stevonnie retorted, lashing out again, and Melanite blocked the attack with the handle of her scythe. "And it's not Steven's decision to make."

"It could be," Melanite sneered. "Instead he forces them to fight-"

"He's not forcing anyone to do anything," Stevonnie growled. "I can guarantee you that every gem back there wants to see you in a bubble for one reason or another, whether we've got to reduce you to shards to do so or not." They jerked back, ducking to avoid a swing from the scythe again, and abruptly pressed themself forward. Melanite retreated at once, stumbling back to get away from them, and brought her scythe up as the fusion lashed out again. They huffed a little as she managed to deflect the attack, and jerked back to block another slash with a shield as they continued, "this is war. This is what war does. And the last time I checked, you were the one at risk of losing. That's why your petty ass decided to start wrecking stuff. That's why you faced me by yourself, because you know that little army you have is too weak to fight." With a smirk, they lifted their sword and added, "not that you're faring any better on your own."

"This isn't exactly a fair fight," Melanite snarled and lunged at them, and Stevonnie slammed their feet into the ground and rocked backwards with a laugh, lashing the sword up and blocking another blow from the scythe as they landed back on their feet and took another step forward.

"Again, this is war." They smiled coldly as they went on, "nothing and everything is fair."

Melanite narrowed her eyes at them for a moment, silent. Then, all too abruptly, she stilled; Stevonnie furrowed their eyebrows as they watched the black gem's face suddenly break into a cold grin, a dangerously sadistic smile, threatening enough to send warning bells off in their head for a second. They straightened up and stepped back, bringing their sword up silently as they prepared for the next blow - but Melanite stepped away from them, the grin unwavering, and hefted her scythe over her shoulder, seemingly with no other intentions of fighting them, and turned her gaze toward the sky. "Nothing and everything, huh?" Her gaze landed on the ships, and Stevonnie dared to look, themself, narrowing their eyes suspiciously in response. "Alright, darling, you've managed to piss me off. And you won't like me when I'm angry."

"You know, that's actually really funny," Stevonnie commented, trying in vain to stifle the dread pooling steadily in their gut. The ships were still going at it, blast after blast, both of them just barely managing to evade the other. It was getting pretty intense up there, actually. The fusion ran their tongue over their lips and frowned, looking down again. "'Cause like, I really don't like you _anyway_. But I'm pretty excited to see how my already intense hatred for you can get worse."

"Be careful what you wish for," Melanite laughed as she turned back to them, raising an eyebrow. "You don't want _another_ one of your precious friends to end up dead, do you now?"

Stevonnie narrowed their eyes at the threat, inclining their head slightly and searching the other gem's gaze silently for a moment before they replied, "I'd be careful what you say, Melanite. Steven's still on the fence about shattering, but I promise you that if you swing at my friends and family, you better be _real_ careful that you don't miss." They glanced at the scythe for a moment, then rooted their gaze back to Melanite, eyebrows furrowing again as they took a few steps closer. Melanite watched them silently; there was no apprehension in her gaze, not a flicker of fear, but her eyes did narrow slightly at their approach, and she shifted her foot back an inch even as they came to a stop a few feet away from her again. "Because I will gladly destroy you."

"You know, that's the problem with you Crystal Gems," Melanite mocked. "You're only willing to do the right thing - _if!_ It comes down to it. You're all bark and no bite until the stakes are high enough; you're fine with standing back and doing nothing until something _forces_ you to take action, gives you a _reason_ to react. But, you know what? Maybe that's something I can use to my advantage. You want stakes? You want a reason to react? I'll give you a reason to react." She sneered at them, and the fusion jerked their chin up sharply. "This? This is for you, baby."

"Melanite," Stevonnie warned quietly, "you _really_ shouldn't."

"But I _really want to._ " She smiled again, stepping back. "You're right; I _am_ petty."

Stevonnie lunged at them, and Melanite startled for a second; they almost had her, they could have had her. One quick swing, that was all it would take. And they took it. Raising the sword, they brought it down hard with every intention of poofing her, of ending this once and for all.

Melanite slashed at the same time, and the blade of her scythe connected with the sword's.

The fusion stumbled and stopped, screeching to a halt and reeling back in shock as they stared down at the sword, held tightly with both hands now. The scythe had severed a large portion of the sword's blade; it was a perfect, clean cut almost as if it had simply been snapped in half. Even _more_ perfect, they realized numbly as they stared at it. It was broken. The sword was broken. Rose's sword - no, Connie's sword, _Connie's_ sword was broken, she'd broken it. Of all the crimes she'd committed, this one was rather tame, and yet it still served to ignite a rush of burning, boiling fury in the fusion's gut all the same. They clenched their teeth, drawing back sharply, and snapped a cold glare up to the gem in question - who now looked rather smug.

"Oops," was all she said before she turned and took off, and Stevonnie froze in shock for a second, stunned, before they managed to summon their shield under them to follow after her.

A deafening roar and a flash of pink halted them both; the fusion skidded to a stop, nearly throwing themself off of the shield completely, when Lion jumped out in front of Melanite, forcing the black gem to skid to a stop as the pink beast turned and roared at her hard enough to send her flying back toward Stevonnie. She didn't come close enough to grab, though; she managed to skid to a stop just a few feet away while the fusion jumped off their shield and discarded the broken sword in the sand briefly to summon Steven's scythe from their gem with a scowl.

Lion stopped and lowered his head, teeth bared in a snarl, and from their back, a smaller figure hopped off. Stevonnie didn't recognize them, not at first, but he recognized the gem on their chest, and the gem on the back of their left hand. A Peridot and a Ruby. Their eyes widened slightly, stunned into silence for a moment as the fusion jumped off of Lion and stood in front of him, eyes unmoving from the black gem in front of them. They were green for the most part, somewhat of a darker green than a Peridot usually was, but still rather pale. Their hair was much paler, though, with darker red streaks running through it. They had a dark green shirt, with a light red top over it, and grey pants with red streaks wrapped around them all the way down to the ankles. They also had a visor like Berry; they had one pair of eyes, the right one with a dark green star around it, like some sort of tattoo - kind of like Bismuth, actually - three arms - two on their left side, one on their right. They weren't too tall - maybe a few inches taller than Peridot.

"Leaving so soon?" They questioned, tilting their head. They lifted a hand, the gloved one, and waved at Stevonnie briefly before turning their attention back to Melanite, who looked equal measures intrigued and frustrated as she glanced between them. "And I just got here, too."

Stevonnie shrugged. "Bad manners, if you ask me. Bailing on your own party."

"Bailing? Not quite," Melanite chimed, glancing back at them. "More like _moving_ the party."

The other fusion wasn't amused. They moved forward a little, Lion at their side, and finally glanced at Stevonnie through their visor, eyes narrowed slightly. "Where's the human?"

"Uh…" Stevonnie blinked, stomach twisting sharply at the realization that, yeah, they had no idea where Ronaldo was right then. The fusion frowned and turned their head, sweeping their gaze over the beach, and sighed through their teeth. It didn't take long for them to see the human in question closer to the beach house now, on what was left of the porch - seemingly only out of the necessity of getting a better shot of the fighting, because he had his phone out and aimed right at them right then, excitement and awe sparkling through his eyes. The fusion rolled their eyes and turned away again, fixing their gaze on Melanite briefly before looking away. "He's safe."

"Is he?" Melanite asked sweetly, following the fusion's gaze briefly with a smug smile, the other fusion raised a hand silently, summoning Lemon Lime's bow from their gem without a word.

They looked at Stevonnie, smiling reassuringly. "Go take him to the ship."

"You got it." Stevonnie winked and summoned their shield again, sticking their tongue out at Melanite briefly. "Don't have too much fun without me." They waited long enough to see the fusion draw the string of the bow back, summoning an arrow, which burst into flames at once just before they shot it at Melanite, forcing the black gem to jump back and veer sharply to the side to avoid it. Stevonnie smirked, satisfied, and spun around on the shield to make their way back over to Ronaldo, albeit somewhat reluctantly. They'd much rather stay and fight Melanite, and Ronaldo didn't seem to be in any danger at the moment - but, then again, Stevonnie knew how quickly that could change, and they knew it was a better idea to try and get him somewhere safer. "Alright, Ronaldo, let's go," they called as they approached, swooping around him on the shield and lowering it down enough for him to step up. "We've gotta get you outta here now."

"What?" Ronaldo groaned, not lowering the phone, and not daring to look away from it. Stevonnie glanced up, watching Melanite and the other fusion fight, then glanced back up at the ships as another thought occurred to them - how were they supposed to get Ronaldo into the ship when the ship literally couldn't stop moving? "Awh, man, no way! This is great, check it-"

"Shut up." Stevonnie dropped their gaze, thinking, then whistled for Lion. "Lion! Hey, buddy!"

Lion turned to charge over to them at once, and Stevonnie diminished the shield, landing carefully on the porch. They turned to Ronaldo, fully prepared to pick the human up themself and throw him into the portal, but they paused when Melanite suddenly called, " _Angel,_ _ **now!"**_

The other fusion froze, looking up.

Stevonnie followed their gaze silently.

Melanite's ship froze, stalling in the air for a moment, then shot upwards into the air at an alarming rate. It spun and spiraled a few times, flipping and looping through the air, and the Sun Incinerator seemed damn close to following it for a second before it abruptly stopped again. Stevonnie watched, silent, as a flare shot up into the sky from the ship, one after the other; a steady stream of them, sparkling and crackling. The fusion's pupils shrank slightly, freezing with their hand on Ronaldo's arm, as the human slowly turned the phone's camera toward the sky.

The ship turned, and one of the flares shot out over the hill.

"Incoming," Stevonnie whispered.

_(Explosions, quick and deadly, ripping buildings apart, chunks of dirt flying, gems and shards-)_

The Sun Incinerator dove downwards toward the beach as one of the flares fell back down toward it. Stevonnie managed to encase themself, Ronaldo and Lion in a bubble just as the explosion went off, tearing off a great chunk of the mountain as it did. Another one followed, and then another; they ripped the beach apart, sand and dust flying until Stevonnie couldn't see ahead of them anymore. Unconsciously - subconsciously - they pressed closer to Lion, digging their fingers into the pink beast's mane and ducking their head with a soft, shaky gasp. It was literally explosion after explosion, one blast after another, a steady stream. Like fireworks, but worse, louder. Every part of the fusion ached to pop the bubble and run to the beach - stars, their friends were there, Berry and Lemon Lime - their fusion - right at the center of all of it.

The explosions got quieter, but didn't stop yet. The clouds of dust and sand took their time settling; Stevonnie covered their ears for a moment, breathing heavily, and just listened.

The explosions didn't stop. They just became more… distant…

"Stevonnie? _Stevonnie?!"_ A familiar voice screamed over the noise, and Stevonnie shuddered, relieved to hear the other fusion's voice, and tore their hands away from their ears in an instant. They dared to look up again, through the bubble. The beach hadn't cleared enough for him to be able to see, but he could see the Sun Incinerator close to the sky; the door was open as it flew, and the fusion was clinging to the side of it, head turned to look out across the beach.

They felt something stir, something split, with the threat of destabilizing completely, but they held themself together. They could unfuse once they were safe; they had bigger priorities right now. The fusion turned, looping an arm around Ronaldo and ignoring the human's protests, and swung him toward Lion without a moment's pause as they finally dropped the bubble. "Lion, go!"

Lion threw himself forward at once, roaring a portal to jump through with Ronaldo on his back.

"We're okay," the fusion yelled up at the ship, summoning their shield. They took a deep breath, heart pounding, gem aching. They wanted nothing more than to sink into the safety of the ship with the others, but they couldn't - stars, this was chaos. The explosions were still going off in the distance. Stevonnie swallowed thickly, past the lump that had formed in their throat, and forced the shield back a little, soaring upwards into the air and flying as high as they could. They stopped, only when they were sure they were high enough, and turned to look toward the noise.

What they saw drew a scream from their lips, forcing a hand over their mouth to muffle the sound. They could have sworn their heart stopped beating, their lungs stopped functioning.

The entire town was in flames.

Buildings demolished, smoke pooling in the air, explosions going off. One right after the other, chunks of buildings flying and crumbling, fires spreading, car alarms going off, craters forming. The entire town was either in flames or surrounded in smoke. Every building that they could see was either on fire or had been destroyed or had been leveled completely to absolutely nothing.

Beach City was destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hisorry
> 
> Kind-of official design for Berry and Lemon Lime's fusion, [Strawberry Lime](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/365686721393983489/801096479569346640/Screenshot_20210119-085815.png)~!


	15. Chapter 15

Stevonnie stayed frozen until the Sun Incinerator swooped up in front of them.

It took a few seconds for them to be able to fly forward and jump through the door, skidding sharply across the floor as they landed inside. The second they steadied, however, they glowed and split apart at once, leaving Steven crumbling to his knees and Connie landing unsteadily on her feet, staggering a bit before she managed to right herself. The hybrid took a deep breath and ducked his head, fingers digging deep into his hair until his nails scraped against his scalp, and stared down at the floor beneath him with wide eyes, pupils shrunk. He couldn't fathom what he'd just seen just then, the absolute chaos and destruction that had been raging over Beach City. Everything, everything was destroyed. Every building, every inch of the city was burning or about to burn, every building crumbling or in flames. The thought alone struck too many chords, grinded and chipped away at too many weak spots, and Steven found himself engulfed in so much rage at that moment that he couldn't help praying to a God he didn't believe in that Melanite had been caught in the crossfire somehow. He'd give anything to see her shards littering the beach. He'd give anything to take her gem and grind it into dust with his-

"Are you two okay?! Are you injured?!" Pearl's voice cut through his thoughts, through the horrible visions his mind was conjuring up. He jerked his head up and leaned away when someone touched him, momentarily ignoring the startled look on Amethyst's face in favor of staring ahead toward the windshield as his anger grew, fury stacking higher and higher with each passing second. Pearl was currently checking Connie over, fretting and fussing over the human, but she moved over to Steven when she was satisfied that her pupil was unharmed. "Steven?" The pale gem knelt in front of him, beside Amethyst. "Steven, are you okay?"

"Okay?" Steven managed, staring out the windshield for a moment longer before forcing his gaze to move, forcing himself to focus on Pearl again for a moment. Was he okay? Of course he wasn't okay. He'd just watched his home - his city, his _town_ , where he was born and raised, go up in flames. He was still watching it go up in flames. He could still hear the explosions ringing through the air. "No… no, I'm not okay-! She-" He choked on his own words for a second. The mere concept was still unfathomable. The hybrid took a deep breath and swallowed, sitting back sharply on his knees and burying his face into his hands again as he struggled to calm down. His heart was going too fast, and his _gem_ \- stars, his _gem_ was buzzing. Thrumming and pounding away. He could feel it, the energy surging through his muscles, his bones. A destructive kind of energy. He needed to calm himself down. "She… the city… she actually…"

The hybrid closed his eyes, taking another deep breath, and dug his fingers harder against his scalp. Angel Quartz. Angel Quartz. That's who Melanite had called to. She was the one piloting the ship, the one that had done all of this. Both of them had. And, stars, Steven wanted nothing more, absolutely nothing more, than to completely destroy the both of them for what they did. Stars, this anger, this rage, this fury. It was blinding, intoxicating. A part of him felt higher than he'd ever felt; it was so absolute, so unadulterated. Just pure anger. Anger, and a desire to _hurt_ , to hurt more than he ever had before. With every fiber of his being, every facet in his gem, right then… even he wasn't certain that, if he had the chance, he wouldn't shatter Melanite on sight.

Pearl was touching him, his arms, his back, his shoulders, pulling him close and trying to comfort him, but the hybrid was inconsolable. There wasn't anything anyone could do to diffuse this rage he was feeling, there wasn't anything that could make it better. He breathed in, heavy inhales and exhales through his nose, and forced his head up again after a few seconds. "I can't," he mumbled, clenching his fists tight around handfuls of his hair. "I'm gonna kill her. Stars, I- I'm literally- I'm going to _kill_ her. Everything she's done…" He'd already been furious with her, already been on the fence. She'd shattered Mandarin. She'd attacked his planet. And now, now she and her star-forsaken rebels had torn Beach City apart, had set his town _aflame._

Gritting his teeth, the hybrid swept his gaze around and furrowed his eyebrows, doing a quick headcount. Everyone was safe and accounted for. Even Berry and Lemon Lime, who had also unfused; Lemon Lime looked… _much_ different. He had the dark green star tattoo over his right eye like the fusion had, but his outfit didn't quite resemble what the fusion had been wearing. He had a black button-down vest with dark green buttons, and a light green bow tie fastened into place just above where his gem rested on his chest. His pants were a dark green, which slowly faded into light green toward the ankles, and his 'shoes' were light green with dark green stripes. He also wasn't wearing his limb enhancers (which was a very, very strange sight indeed), which put him roughly at Peridot's height. He and Berry were standing still, Berry at the control panel now and Lemon Lime beside her with his eyes on the window, pupils shrunk to pinpricks. Beside him, Peridot had her mouth half-open, just staring down at the city in shock.

Steven took a deep breath, pulling himself away from Pearl, and heaved himself to his feet. "What are we going to do?" He demanded after a moment, quiet, as he stepped closer to the windshield. But he hesitated slightly, not really wanting to look down toward the city again.

"We've got to take Ronaldo back to Empire City," Pearl murmured, frowning. "And we promised Greg that we'd bring you back if anything happened… no arguments," she reminded him.

Steven scowled, knitting his eyebrows together. "Nothing happened to _me._ "

"Hey," Amethyst chided gently, and Steven ducked his head and nodded, swallowing hard. This wasn't their fault, he couldn't take the anger he was feeling out on them. They were the ones trying to _protect_ the Earth; Melanite was the one destroying it. "There's nothing we can do right now anyway. I mean, they're still out there." Steven finally lifted his gaze toward the windshield at that, daring to look through the smoke in the air and search for Melanite's ship once again. He caught sight of it somewhere in the distance, firing off explosions. "... and still wrecking it…"

Garnet rested a hand on his shoulder, fingers squeezing lightly, and the hybrid closed his eyes. "Right now we just need to worry about getting Ronaldo - and everyone - to safety and figure out a plan to stop Melanite. There's nothing we can do here right now. We evacuated the town-"

"Tried, anyway," Amethyst muttered.

"-and the city…" Garnet fell silent for a moment, grip tightening. "... there's nothing we can do."

Steven balled his hands into fists in response, but he knew she was right. They were all right. The city was in flames, and there wasn't… anything they could do about that right then. Especially not with Angel Quartz still blasting it to bits. He supposed it was smart to take the distraction and get out while they could, but a part of him couldn't help but worry about leading them straight to Empire City. Even so, the argument fell away from his lips the moment he opened his eyes again, and his shoulders drooped slightly, heavy under Garnet's touch, as he managed a tiny, nearly imperceptible nod. He stared out the windshield again, gazing at the smoke, seeing the flames out of the corners of his vision, and gritted his teeth. "... yeah. Okay."

Lemon Lime frowned, sitting back and summoning his limb enhancers from his gem to put them back on. Steven tilted his head back, lifting his eyes to the ceiling as the ship turned a little, as Berry lifted them higher into the air and sped off in the direction of Empire City, with Connie offering directions. Pearl moved forward to stand beside Steven, stopping on his other side and resting a hand on his shoulder like Garnet had, and Steven silently allowed himself to melt into their touch. Finally, some of his anger startled to fizzle out, though it didn't quite fade just yet. No, he was still furious; maybe not as blindly angry as he had been at first, but still furious. The hybrid ran his tongue over his lips, biting it between his teeth for a moment with a frown, and took another deep breath. The anger calmed, just enough for him to be able to think clearly again - at least, clearer than he had before - as he lifted his head and gazed out the windshield.

He shifted on his feet for a moment, silent, then furrowed his eyebrows. He wondered, for a second, if Stevonnie had somehow provoked Melanite to do what she'd done, recalling their conversation - but then, if that were the case, how had Angel Quartz known what to do when all Melanite had said was 'now'? The thought brought another rush of cold, destructive anger bubbling up in his chest. It had been _planned._ The whole thing had been planned. She'd already had every intention of destroying the city if things didn't go her way; Stevonnie had pissed her off, for sure (and Steven was still proud of that regardless), but their back and forth hadn't been what prompted Melanite to do anything. And even if it hadn't… the fusion wouldn't be at fault. It was Melanite who had chosen to do what she did. Steven scowled, grimacing, and looked away.

Pearl hesitated, lifting her hand from his shoulder. "I'm going to call Greg."

Steven only nodded, meeting her gaze briefly before she stepped back and summoned her phone from her gem. The motion struck a reminder; the hybrid startled for a second, then quickly summoned Tiger's Eye's bubbled gem from his gem, frowning at it for a moment. Right, Stevonnie had definitely been right to save this for later… he popped the bubble carefully, letting the gem land in his hand, and stuck his thumb in his mouth, pressing it to the gem with a frown. The spiderweb-cracks healed the moment he came into contact, and Steven bubbled the gem again quickly before it had the chance to start glowing. He wasn't about to entertain that now. He'd done what he wanted to do, and now, as he sent the bubble back to his gem, he didn't have to deal with her anymore. She was safe in a bubble, unharmed, and where she couldn't hurt anyone else. Steven sank back sharply, resting his hand over his gem, and looked around.

Spinel caught his gaze, with an understanding expression; after a few moments of silence, the hybrid took a deep breath and pulled away from Garnet, offering her a strained smile that was meant to at least be somewhat reassuring, and turned away to walk over to the pink gem. She watched him carefully as he sank into the seat beside hers, letting his head fall back against the back of it for a moment, and offered a sympathetic look before she glanced out the windshield. "For whatever it's worth, Stevie, you looked pretty good out there," she offered. "Well, the fusion looked pretty good out there. Whaddya call them?" She asked curiously, glancing over at him.

"Stevonnie," Steven murmured, flicking his gaze toward Connie, who had turned at once at the mention of the fusion. "They did kinda go all out on Melanite back there, didn't they?" The hybrid managed to crack a tired smile, looking back toward the windshield for a moment, and sighed.

"Definitely," Connie agreed, huffing out a strained laugh.

"Dude, it was _awesome!"_ Ronaldo butted in, and Steven flinched in surprise, having almost forgotten that he was there. He narrowed his eyes slightly as he swept his gaze toward the human, curling his fingers tightly around the armrests of his chair, but he stayed silent as Ronaldo went on excitedly, "that whole thing was awesome! First the ship thing, and the dodging, and then Stevonnie telling that weird evil alien chick off, and then the explosions?" Steven gritted his teeth and lowered his chin, knuckles turning white as he listened. "That was _cool!_ I can't believe I got it all on video. Oh, man, it's gonna look so great for my blog-!"

"Yeah," Steven snapped before he could stop himself, glaring at the human for a moment. "I'm sure _everyone's_ gonna _love_ watching Beach City go up in flames. Nevermind that their home - _your_ home just got destroyed. Who cares, right, as long as you've got the whole thing on video? It was just the entire town getting blown up, not like anything _horrible_ actually happened. Not like you could have _died_ ," he added fiercely, and Ronaldo's excited expression rapidly shifted, melting into surprise, and then something akin to apprehension as the hybrid went on, "it was not _awesome_ , it was not _cool_ , it was not _great_. It was _terrifying_ , it was _awful_ , and you know what? What you did back there, sneaking back to the city just to see the rebels that literally just invaded and attacked us, was _stupid_ and _reckless_ and you're lucky you didn't get killed back there, because if we hadn't shown up when we did, you'd be crispier than the fries your dad makes!" Ignoring everyone else's surprised gazes, Steven sat back sharply, took a deep breath, and added bitterly, "and would you please stop saying 'alien', it's starting to get offensive."

Ronaldo just stared at him. Everybody just stared at him. The hybrid slowly snapped his mouth shut, glancing around, and sank back in his seat with a frown. Okay, maybe he'd gone off a little there, but he was still too frustrated to properly feel any guilt about it at the moment. Because, really, was he wrong? Ronaldo could have gotten killed, all for his stupid blog. But… the hybrid would admit that… a lot of his frustration wasn't really directed toward _that_ in particular. He still didn't like the things Ronaldo was saying, though. The 'alien' thing was grating at his nerves, and then the explosions being 'cool', and just in general not caring that the city had just been destroyed? That it was on fire? Yeah, 'getting on his nerves' was an understatement, actually.

"Greg, I'll call you back when we get there, okay?" Pearl said after a few seconds, and gestured toward Garnet and Amethyst. "Oh, someone be ready to catch him in case he passes out again - no, not Steven, Greg, Steven is fine, I was talking about the fry boy. No, not Peedee. Ronaldo."

Ronaldo blinked and glanced away from Steven, looking offended now. "That was one time!"

Steven groaned and let his head fall back, rubbing his face silently for a moment before simply giving up. Fine, whatever. Ronaldo could do what he wanted. Steven was just tired of hearing about his blog, and he was frustrated that Ronaldo was getting in the middle of this anyway. It was certainly making their job ten times harder - but hopefully once they dropped him off in Empire City, he'd be able to stay _put_. And Steven… Steven would have to figure out how to convince Greg to let him go back out and fight again. He knew what he was walking into, he knew how dangerous Melanite was, but he was still determined to be there to see her downfall.

"I hate her," he said quietly, and Spinel offered a soft hum of agreement. It didn't take everyone else - save for Ronaldo - long to voice their own agreements of some kind, a soft grumble passing around the ship before it quieted again. Briefly, Steven allowed his gaze to flick toward Clementine; the Jasper was silent, arms crossed over her chest as she looked out the windshield. She did look back at him briefly, her stormy expression melting into something softer, more sympathetic, though Steven couldn't help but notice how exhausted she looked. The hybrid held her gaze, silent for a moment, and sank back sharply again with a soft sigh. Melanite was going to pay for what she'd done. For everything that she'd done. Steven was going to make damn well sure of it - and he knew it was a sentiment that they all shared.

"Alright, now where…" Berry frowned, peering through the windshield. Steven glanced up briefly, furrowing his eyebrows and perking up a little upon seeing that they were in Empire City now. That was a pretty fast trip - but then again, he couldn't be too surprised. The Sun Incinerator had gone from the barn to the Beach City relatively quickly, and Berry had insisted quite a few times that it was one of her fastest models, before she'd finished the other one.

"Uh, you can just…" Pearl shuffled closer. "Oh, goodness, I don't know where to land."

"We don't have to land. We should be ready to go in case Melanite followed us." Berry narrowed her eyes, drifting her hands across the panel. "At the very least, be prepared to lead her away."

Steven grimaced, loosening his vice-like grip on the arms of the chair while Connie pointed through the windshield. "That's the hotel everyone's staying at, you can just get us close to there." Berry hummed a quiet agreement and sped up a little, and Steven took a deep breath and pushed himself up with a frown, shuffling forward a few steps. It was pretty late… his father had probably been asleep. The hybrid winced a little despite himself at the realization that Pearl had just woken him up for all this, and now Steven was going to have to tell him about the city and - jeez, the car wash and… stars, this whole situation was just… convoluted. He bit his lip and frowned, coming to a stop beside Lemon Lime, who now had both his arms wrapped around Candy from behind and was curiously and confusedly looking around the new city.

"Welcome to Empire City," Steven sighed, gazing ahead. "Circumstances suck, but it is pretty."

"Very flashy," Candy commented, and Steven shrugged slightly in a noncommittal agreement, peering ahead at the bright lights. Yeah, she was right. Empire City was a flashy place.

_("It's very… bright.")_

The hybrid winced and ducked his head, taking a deep breath and struggling to ignore the pang of grief stirring in his chest. "What happens in Empire City never sleeps," he whispered, mostly to himself. Candy blinked and glanced over at him, looking curious, but she didn't say anything. Lemon Lime cocked his head, a bewildered look on his face now as he flicked his gaze across the city, as Berry brought the ship down as close to the ground as she could get. Steven pulled away from the control panel after a moment, waiting until the ship had come to a complete stop before he turned and headed for the door. Garnet and Amethyst followed him quickly, with Connie and Pearl in tow, though the human ended up squeezing past them to reach his side.

"Totally not looking forward to telling my parents about this," she mumbled, and Steven snorted out a quiet chuckle despite himself, offering her a sympathetic look. Truthfully, remembering the firm tone Greg had used on him earlier, he wasn't looking forward to _that_ conversation either.

"Come on, Ronaldo," Pearl called back to the grumbling human, who only proceeded to grumble louder as he shuffled forward. Steven shook his head and sighed, glancing back and watching the pale gem pull her phone out again to call Greg as promised. He pressed his hand to the panel beside the door, sweeping his gaze around the ship again, letting his eyes pass over everyone, and set his jaw. He was determined to come back one way or another, even if that meant arguing. Which, yes, wasn't his strong suit, and still made him anxious even now, but he was going to do what he had to do. Turning away, he took Connie's hand and hopped out of the ship, summoning his shield underneath them to catch them before they could hit the ground and carefully lowering them the rest of the distance. His best friend smiled a little, intertwining her fingers with his, and the hybrid offered a light squeeze as he stepped off of the shield with her.

Greg was already rushing out the door, with Priyanka, Doug and Mr. Fryman in tow, before they even reached the building. Steven pulled away from Connie as they reached them, opening his arms up to accept the hug he knew he was coming, and Greg didn't disappoint. The affectionate gesture was much-needed, especially now; he wrapped his arms around the man in response, holding on tightly, and took a deep breath as he struggled to prepare himself to explain. "Thank God you're okay," Greg groaned, pulling back and glancing him over frantically. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Steven murmured. He let his gaze trail over to where Mr. Fryman was currently lecturing Ronaldo, who - admittedly - didn't seem nearly as fazed as he had been when Steven had told him off. He watched for a moment, silent, then turned away again. "Dad… the city…"

Greg grimaced. "... yeah. I know. Pearl texted me."

"This is _too much_ ," Priyanka hissed, finally finished looking Connie over, and turned toward them with a frown. "These two don't need to be out there again, or anywhere _near_ what's going on. I was already worried about this before I knew explosives were being thrown into the mix, but there's no way in-" She stopped, licked her lips and let out a sharp huff as she corrected herself, "there's no way I'm letting Connie go out there, and if I were you, Greg, I'd keep Steven out of it too. And no _buts_ , young lady!" She exclaimed, rounding on Connie when the girl tried to protest, and Steven bit the inside of his cheek as he glanced back up at Greg, searching his gaze. His father didn't particularly seem to disagree with Priyanka; if anything, the expression on his face read clearly that he _did_ agree, although his gaze was apologetic as he glanced back down at Steven, and the hybrid took a deep breath and steadied himself, preparing to argue.

Greg didn't give him the chance. "Look, just… come inside." He put his hands on the hybrid's shoulders, meeting his gaze, and Steven furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "Have you eaten?"

Oh. _Food._ Right. Steven sighed. "... no, sir."

"Stop that," Greg chided lightly, though his gaze was nothing but worried. Steven grimaced, silently cursing his own impulsiveness, and decided that the best answer to that was simply to nod. "Come on, let's get some food in you, huh? You've had a rough day." He ruffled the hybrid's hair, and Steven leaned into the touch slightly before his father pulled away again, turning to open the door for them. Priyanka was the first to storm through, with a frustrated looking Connie and a rather rare stern-looking Doug in tow. Mr. Fryman followed, with an indifferent Ronaldo, who he was still lecturing. Steven reluctantly stepped inside after a moment, glancing back at his father and the gems, and wrapped his arms around himself with a frown. Greg wasn't gonna be happy to know that Steven still had every intention of going back, but he knew that he had to.

Still, for Greg's benefit, he'd keep silent through the meal. He still needed to think.

* * *

The gems were the first ones to bring it up, while Steven dug into a bowl of microwaved chicken-noodle soup. He spooned it around a little while he listened, pretending not to be as interested in the topic as he was, since he wasn't quite ready to dive into the conversation yet. "We completely understand if you don't want Steven to come back out, Greg. To be completely honest, we'd rather him stay here with you ourselves." Pearl huffed out a strained laugh, and Steven frowned down at the bowl for a moment, narrowing his eyes, feeling both a strong pulse of frustration and such a profound sense of affection. He loved his family. He knew they were just trying to protect him, and keep him safe. But he wasn't the same kid that he used to be.

And he wasn't the kid that was going to stray too far from them if he could help it, he wasn't the kid that was going to throw himself into danger without thinking. He was a soldier. This was what he did. And right now, more than ever, that was what he needed to be. A soldier, nothing else. He took a deep breath, rolling his shoulders back, and scooped another spoonful into his mouth.

"I…" Greg trailed off for a moment. "... I think it's best if he stays here."

… _a soldier, and nothing else._

He really wasn't the same kid he used to be. The him from almost a year ago would be on Homeworld right now, would have been on Homeworld the moment the choice was offered. He'd made the decision to stay and fight, and Beach City had suffered for it. Nobody had gotten hurt - thank the stars for that - but his decision had led to the destruction of his home. And who knew how long it would be before they brought Melanite down, and how much destruction she could cause before then? What if she made her way to Empire City before that? Before this, Steven hadn't even considered the fact that she really could _destroy_ the Earth, but she _could._ Those rebels really weren't to be trifled with; they needed an actual plan of attack, they needed to find some kind of higher ground, they needed the chance to be able to step back and think. But they couldn't do that, because every second they were here, every second Melanite was _there_ , was another second she was winning. Because she was. Right now, she was winning.

He furrowed his eyebrows, drowning the others out for a moment as he thought. She wanted to take him back to Homeworld. She wanted to leave. She'd agreed to leave. Steven didn't know why, and frankly he didn't quite care why. He'd stayed to fight for Earth, but that was the reason they had to do so in the first place, right? Melanite had said it herself; it didn't need to be like this. They didn't need to be fighting here, when they could be fighting right back on Homeworld.

And there were always the Diamonds to worry about - but, you know what? Realizing how drastically unprepared they were for just _Melanite's_ arrival, Steven wasn't sure he wanted to know what would happen if the Diamonds showed up, whether it be now or far in the future.

"Wait," he spoke without looking, and the conversation halted at once.

Greg was the first to protest. "Steven, look-"

"No, listen to me," Steven insisted, taking a deep breath and lifting his gaze. He met his father's eyes for a second, offering him the most reassuring look he could muster, then looked toward the gems. "Look, we're at a stalemate here. If you can even call it that. Melanite's not going to stop until we either take her down or she gets what she wants. And, look, I agree with Dr. and Mr. Maheswaran, Connie shouldn't get involved. Especially now. This is just too dangerous - but this, this is what I'm…" He stopped, narrowing his eyes, and corrected himself, "this is what I _want_ to do. I'm a soldier, like it or not, and I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_ , but I'm not gonna sit by while Melanite tears my planet apart." He put the spoon down, fiddling with the bowl for a moment. "But she's got the upper hand and we've got nothing. _Zilch._ She's a threat to us here, and she's a threat to the Earth." He paused, making sure he still had their attention before he went on. "But she's already said she's willing to leave on some… certain conditions, right? So I think-"

"Nope! Nuh uh," Amethyst cut him off sharply, eyes hardening. "No. _Fucking_ way, Steven."

"That is _definitely_ not happening," Garnet growled. "No. _Period."_

Greg looked more horrified than angry. "Steven, you don't mean…"

Pearl covered her mouth for a moment, expression flitting between anger and fear as she shook her head. "We are _not_ going to let you just give yourself right back up to Homeworld again."

The him from almost a year ago would have insisted. The him from almost a year ago wouldn't have stopped and sat down and had this conversation with them. But the him from almost a year ago wouldn't have even dared to suggest what Steven was about to suggest; no, it wouldn't have even been a thought in his mind, not even a fleeting one. The hybrid sighed, ducking his head and peering up at them through his lashes. "I'm not asking you to, guys. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not turning myself in or anything." He paused, running his tongue over his lips again, and lifted his head again. "I'm not suggesting I go back to Homeworld."

"Good," Greg sighed.

"I'm suggesting _we_ go to Homeworld," Steven continued, eyes on the gems, "together."

The gems froze. Garnet poofed her visor away without touching it, all three of her eyes wide with disbelief. Pearl's mouth fell open and didn't shut again for a while. Amethyst just blinked, looking startled, and then… contemplative. One by one, their expressions shifted, shock quickly melting into intrigue as they thought that over. Greg glanced between them, wide-eyed. "What- you- Steven, that's a horrible idea!" His father exclaimed, and Steven furrowed his eyebrows.

"Is it?" He glanced up at his father, setting the bowl aside and leaning back on his hands with a frown. "One way or another, we're at war, Dad. And I know you want to protect me, and I get it. But I'm not the same weak little kid who couldn't defend himself, or wasn't _willing_ to. I can protect myself, for the most part," he conceded, eyes flicking down to his stomach for a second. "And I'm not stupid, and I'm not going to throw myself into danger blindly, and I'm not sacrificing myself. But we're stuck in check-" He glanced at Pearl, knowing the pale gem would appreciate the chess reference, and watched the corners of her lips tug upwards briefly, "-and we've got to choose our next move very carefully. If we're gonna be on a battlefield, it might as well be Homeworld's. If the only thing we're doing here is watching her destroy the Earth, then there's no reason for us to stick around and _let_ her, is there?"

Greg faltered, glancing back at the gems, but unfortunately, it didn't seem like he was going to receive any support from them. the three exchanged a glance, silent, and Pearl let out a soft sigh as she settled a hand against her cheek. "I suppose it's… what about the Diamonds?"

"We're gonna have to deal with them anyway," Steven muttered. "And, you know what? This isn't our war to fight with Melanite anyway. _They're_ the ones she wants." He narrowed his eyes, anger flaring right back up, and curled his lips back. "So… so, yeah, you know what? _Yeah._ She wants a war? She's already in one. So I say we take her back to Homeworld like she wants and show her that _she's_ the one who should be careful what she wishes for."

Garnet's lips twitched, a proud look flickering across her face for a moment. "You're right."

"Yeah!" Amethyst pounded her fist into her hand and grinned. "Let's do it!"

Pearl rolled her eyes at them, looking amused, and sighed. "Greg?" She turned her head, looking toward the worried human, and Steven followed her gaze. "It's up to you."

"I…" Greg glanced between them, sitting back sharply, and ran his fingers through his hair with a frown. Steven took a deep breath and held it for a moment. Greg was usually so easy to convince when it came to these things, he didn't understand; with how little he got involved with gem stuff, he usually tended to just let the gems do whatever they wanted, and let Steven tag along. Hell, he'd let him move in with them to begin with. "... why can't you just go and leave-"

Steven shook his head at once. "She wants _me_ to go, Dad." He paused for a moment, twisting his mouth sharply, then took a deep breath and sat up again, leaning forward. "And I want to."

Greg groaned, biting his knuckles. "... I can feel the rest of my hair falling out…" Steven softened a little at that, wrapping his arms around himself and looking up at him silently. After a moment, though, his father ducked his head and sighed, defeated. "Priyanka's gonna kill me…"

"Oh, no, she won't," Steven assured, narrowing his eyes. "Connie's not coming."


	16. Chapter 16

"What- what do you _mean_ I'm not going with you?!"

Steven leveled his gaze with his best friend's, silent for a moment. Connie looked equal measures shocked and enraged, and maybe even a little hurt; the hybrid hated it, he did. He hated anything that caused his friend pain. But that was why he was determined to keep her out of this. Taking a deep breath, he let his eyes slip shut for a moment, struggling to rationalize the conflict raging in his mind. This was going to be difficult, he was calling it now. Connie was stubborn, but Steven had been holding his own in arguments lately, learning that it was _okay_ to argue when he needed to. And right now he needed to. "Homeworld's dangerous, Connie. It's different there. And there's gonna be dozens more rebels, you don't even have a weapon-"

"So what?" Connie exclaimed. "Pearl's got a bunch of swords I could use, or Berry could-"

"We don't have the time for Berry to make you anything," Steven interrupted, glancing up at the sky with a frown. Greg had persuaded him to stay the night, and Berry had taken the ship up to the roof. After the others had filled them in - and Steven had insisted several times that whoever didn't want to come along didn't have to - they'd decided to stay at least overnight so they could bid their goodbyes. It was daytime now and Steven didn't know where anyone was right then, though he assumed that most of the gems were still waiting in the ship - he knew Clementine was, at least. "And even if Pearl gave you a sword it doesn't change the fact that it's d-"

"Dangerous, I know." Connie frowned at him, an irritated look flashing across her face as he turned back to her, and the hybrid furrowed his eyebrows. "But you said we'd do this together."

Steven grimaced, glancing down for a second. He knew what he said. And he wanted nothing more than to be the same kid he'd been before, the same kid who had just assumed he could march into a battle with Connie at his side and they'd come back out okay. "This is different."

"How?" Connie demanded. "How is it different? Because these aren't corrupted gems, or the cluster experiments? You keep saying that, you keep saying that it's different, but I _know_ it is. But how many times do I have to tell you that I want to do this? I know what I'm walking into. I know the risks. I know that we could- we could die." She seemed to falter, if only for a second, and Steven shook his head furiously as he lifted his gaze again, narrowing his eyes briefly.

"No, you _think_ you know, but you _don't_ , Connie. You haven't _seen_ how bad it can get."

"They just blew up Beach City," Connie retorted. "How could it get worse?"

"You wanna know how?" Steven lifted his head a little, lifting an arm to gesture around them for a second. "Imagine them still being there. Everyone. Imagine being there, being _out_ there, while the explosions were going off. I mean, you saw it when we were Stevonnie, didn't you?" Connie paused at this, her angry expression melting away for a moment, and Steven pressed on firmly, "yeah, it can get _worse_. We're lucky nobody died out there, or got hurt. But it's not going to be like that on Homeworld. You're gonna see gems getting shattered, you're going to see the shards and rubble flying and you're gonna hear the screaming, and the explosions, and the-" He stopped, swallowing, and took a deep breath as he shook his head again. "No, you won't. You won't see any of that. Because you're not going, because I'm not _leading_ you to your _death._ "

Connie was silent for a moment, just watching him with an unreadable expression on her face. Steven sank back a little, rubbing his hand over his face and slumping back against the wall of the building with a scowl as he looked toward the sky again. It was pretty early in the morning, but not too early for people to be out and about; dozens of humans walked down the sidewalk, passing by the two teenagers, and thankfully none of them seemed particularly interested in the conversation they were having. "You never talk about what it was like," Connie murmured suddenly, and Steven blinked, tearing his gaze away from the sky. "The battle." She shifted closer, leaning against the wall beside him. "You talk about Homeworld, but not that. Not really." She searched his gaze while the hybrid just shrugged, biting the inside of his cheek and looking away. It wasn't that he wasn't willing to talk about it - he just didn't like _thinking_ about it, either.

"Nobody's ever really asked," Steven muttered. "And it's not exactly something you bring up at dinner." He closed his eyes again, head pounding with the threat of a headache that wasn't quite there yet, a kind of pressure that was almost enough to be painful by itself. "It's not fun, Connie. It's not some exciting…" He sighed, swallowed, and started over, "it _feels_ exciting, sometimes, but it's not. The before and after, that's the worst part. Going into the battle and then coming out. And whatever happens in between, what you see, what you do, it- you don't forget." He leaned his head back, frowning. "Shards, forget the physical injuries… but the _emotional…"_

"And the psychological," Connie whispered, and Steven ducked his head. "The explosion…"

"Yeah," Steven murmured, running his tongue over his lips. "Those… those are the worst. At least when you're fighting someone dead on, the threat's right there in front of you - you can see it, you can fight it. The only thing you can do when an explosion goes off is run for cover, and stars help you if you can't-" He cut off and shook his head. "... that's not… that's not the point. The point is it's _bad_. And it is dangerous, and it is _scary_ , and I don't want you anywhere near it."

Connie didn't reply for a moment. She frowned, arms crossed over her chest, and turned her head away from him to stare across the road, to the cluster of buildings on the other side. "I know you want to protect me, Steven, but I-" She stopped, taking a deep breath, and ducked her head with a frown. "I want to be there _with_ you this time. When you were gone, I couldn't…"

"But this time's different," Steven replied softly. "I'm not going by myself."

Connie only grimaced, not looking at him. "You're taking everyone else but me, then."

Steven ran his tongue over his lips and nodded slightly. "Because they're thousand year old gems who can make their own decisions, because they know what they're walking into. And Lars, I already told him he didn't have to come, but I can't exactly stop him from going either. But you're a human - and you're a _child_."

"Yeah?" Connie finally glanced at him. "So what's your excuse?" Steven blinked, taken aback, as his best friend pushed herself away from the wall and turned to face him. "You're fifteen, Steven. Fifteen! And you don't even act like it. You don't even act like a _child_ anymore at all. You- you act more like a- a shell-shocked soldier than…" She shook her head and ran her hands through her hair, frustrated, and Steven frowned, leaning his head back. "And I- I get it. I can't even begin to imagine the trauma you've gone through, how old you must feel right now. You had to grow up so quickly to adapt to all of that. But you are _still_ just a _child_ , Steven."

"Yeah," Steven conceded, ducking his head. "But right now I've got to be a soldier."

"And you shouldn't have to!" Connie exclaimed. "If you've got to put yourself through all of this at _fifteen_ years old, why can't I go with you? Because I'm just a human? Because you're scared I-"

" _Hey,"_ Steven snapped, and Connie cut off at once, looking startled. "You are not _just_ a human, Connie, I never said that. _Never._ But you are a human, and this is a _gem_ war. And I've already seen countless gems - gems who were thousands of years old, gems who had trained and fought their whole lives - _die_ in battle. I know you've been training, Connie, but you haven't been training for _this_. _I_ have. And I still got cracked. And you almost got killed. And that battle back there, that was nothing compared to what it's going to be like on Homeworld. So yeah, I am scared of losing you, because- because I have lost _enough_ in the past year alone and I'm not about to lose my best friend. So for the love of Homeworld- for the love of _God_ , please, I am begging you to just stay here, and stay alive, and be here and be _okay_ when we come back." He huffed out a laugh, albeit a strained one. "Even if you hate me and never want to see me a-"

"Shut up." Connie shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes, and glared at him furiously for a moment while the hybrid fell silent, heaving out a soft sigh and looking away as he lifted a hand to brush his fingers through his hair. "God, I could never hate you for this. It's just not _fair._ "

Steven softened a little at that, looking back at her, and sighed. "Life's not fair."

Connie slumped back against the wall, silent for a moment. Steven settled back again and simply watched her, as her eyes flicked across the sky again and again, as if she were searching for something. He watched until, finally, the angry determination in her eyes fizzled out to something softer, something a little more sorrowful, and her gaze trailed back to him. "I don't want to lose you, either," she told him quietly, shakily. "So for the love of God, come back. Promise me that you'll come back, that you'll be okay, that- that you- that you can _do_ this."

"Connie," Steven murmured, "I promise you, I will come back, and I'll be okay, and I can do this."

Connie nodded, though she didn't seem satisfied yet. She looked at him for a moment, watching him out of the corner of her eye, and sighed through her teeth. "I hate that you have to do this."

"I don't _have_ to," Steven admitted. "I know I don't have to. It's not like before. I'm not turning myself in or doing this to _save_ anybody." He paused for a moment, thinking that over. "I mean, right now, everyone's safe. And there is the threat of her coming here, but that's not the only reason I'm doing this. But I'm getting sick of her." He paused, narrowing his eyes, and looked away again. "I'm sick of gems coming _here_ , wrecking _our_ planet, using Rose as an excuse… I'm sick of being scared, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, but not _doing_ anything." He twisted his mouth and nodded, almost to himself, and leaned his head back again with a sigh. "No, I don't _have_ to do this. I know I'm a child. I know it's not my responsibility. But I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and Connie…" He forced out a laugh, eyes narrowed. "I _really_ wanna take her down."

Connie sighed, leaning her head back, and finally cracked a smile. "Pure spite, huh?"

"After everything she's done?" Steven rolled his eyes. "She deserves it."

"No kidding," Connie agreed quietly. She looked away from him again, eyes on the sky, and furrowed her eyebrows. Steven followed her gaze briefly, but he didn't see anything up there except the clouds, the sun and a few birds flying back and forth between telephone wires. The hybrid rolled his shoulders back and sank down against the wall, sitting on the sidewalk, and Connie slowly slid down to sit beside him. "... are you scared?" She asked suddenly. "To go?"

Steven gazed at the sky for a while, watching the clouds shift as he thought that over. It was the first time he'd really thought about it like that, really realized what he was doing. He _was_ scared. Not of the fighting, not of the battle he knew was raging, but… he was going back to Homeworld, back to the Diamonds. But he was putting himself in that position willingly. _Really_ willingly, not like the first time, when it had been a spur-of-the-moment, split-second decision derived purely from fear, impulse, protective instincts and whatever sick lack of self-worth and excuse for self-preservation skills he'd had back then. Not to say his self-worth was exactly at peak level now, but he was slowly learning that it wasn't his responsibility to make decisions like that, and even more so that he didn't deserve to be hurt more than anyone else did. He _was_ scared. Scared to see all the familiar faces on Homeworld. Scared to see _her_ face again.

And he was excited.

Because he was going back to _Homeworld_. Back to Homeworld's beautiful, brilliant _sky_. Back to buildings and structures and gems he'd gotten used to. Back to a place that, somehow, despite everything, he'd grown to… stars, he didn't want to say that he loved it. But he felt something for it, something that wasn't just fear and pain, something that, somehow, wasn't… _negative_ at all.

The hybrid took a breath, lowering his gaze, and rested a hand over his gem. "I'm terrified."

* * *

They didn't have much time to waste, so their time in Empire City was… limited.

Steven, finally, got up to offer his goodbyes. Sadie gave him a bunch of nutrition bars to take with him, Peedee practically clung to him for about thirty minutes and then, like Connie, made him promise to come back alive. Doug offered him some more pepper spray and Priyanka mumbled something to Greg about 'definitely calling a therapist' when Steven came back. Onion actually tried to sneak into the ship a few times, which eventually resulted in Lion having to hold him by the back of the shirt by the time it was time to leave. Almost everyone from Beach City had gathered around to see the Crystal Gems off. The Cool Kids were exchanging their own goodbyes with Lars by the time Steven had gotten back around to Greg and Connie.

Greg held him tight for a few minutes, kissing the top of his head, and Steven snuggled deeper into his arms and held on just as tightly as he realized that, despite the promises he'd made, anything could happen on Homeworld, and… as much as he hated to admit it, this could be the last hug he got from his father, the first time he saw him. So he savored those few minutes.

"Guess you won't have cell service on Homeworld," Greg mumbled when he pulled back, and Steven huffed out a laugh. Probably not. But he'd keep his phone on him just in case.

"Yeah…" He trailed off, gazing at the man for a moment. "I love you."

Greg wrapped his hands around the hybrid's arms, squeezing slightly, and Steven brought his hands up carefully to place them over his father's, meeting his gaze steadily while Greg simply offered him a hesitant, shaky smile. "I love you too, kiddo. You… you… just… just stay safe." He swallowed, chest shuddering as he inhaled, and Steven furrowed his eyebrows slightly, nodding. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo, you know that? And I love you so, so much." He lifted a hand, ruffling Steven's hair, and he leaned into the touch silently, basking in the affection for a moment as he nodded again, throat feeling tight. "When you get back," Greg added, releasing a strained laugh, "we're, uh, taking Priyanka's advice and getting you a therapist, okay?"

Steven raised his eyebrows and smiled a little at that, rolling his eyes despite himself, but nodded again. "Okay." Greg rested a hand against his cheek, fingers shaking slightly, and Steven frowned a little as he pressed his face closer to his father's palm. "... I'll be okay, Dad."

"Yeah." Greg swallowed thickly, offering a shaky smile. "... I know, Schtu-ball."

Steven pulled back, glancing at Connie, and met the human's gaze steadily. Whatever needed to be said between them had already been said earlier, at least he'd thought so. But now, looking back at her, Steven suddenly had a million different things to say, and absolutely no way to say them. He ran his tongue over his lips, pulling away from Greg completely. "I'll see you…"

"When you get back," Connie finished firmly, raising her eyebrows, and the hybrid tugged his lips into a tired smile. Lion pressed himself forward suddenly, pressing right up against Steven, and he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the pink beast in response. Admittedly, he finally felt his eyes sting a little as he buried his face into Lion's mane, the threat of tears that wouldn't really come, but the feeling unsteadied him just a little all the same. The hybrid took a deep breath, digging his fingers into the animal's fur and just holding on for a few seconds before finally disentangling himself from the creature completely, offering a shaky smile.

"Bye, Lion…" Steven trailed off, taking Lion's face in his hands. "Take care of Connie for me."

Both Lion and Connie snorted at that, but after giving him a long, silent stare, Lion ducked his head, nose to nose with the hybrid, and blinked; Steven's face split into a brief, genuine grin.

Connie was the next to hug him. Steven wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face into her shoulder, and breathed in as much of her familiar scent as he could. He felt one of her hands curl into the back of his shirt, and the other one dig into his hair, pulled back into a ponytail. He couldn't help but smile a little despite himself, holding on for a little while longer - even as she tried to pull away - until he knew it was time to leave. He took a deep breath, pulling back, and opened his mouth to say something - but she beat him to it. "I love you."

Steven gazed at her for a moment, remembering how terrifying it had been to leave them before, how he'd thought, the second he turned to enter the ship, that he would never see any of them again, remembering that the last thing he ever wanted to say to them was 'I love you'. It may not be the same situation, but it was definitely the same kind of concept. And Steven finally felt the tears rise up, brewing in the corners of his eyes, because both of them knew damn well that there was a chance of everything going so, horribly wrong. That he was walking into Homeworld, to the Diamonds, knowing exactly what he was getting himself into and knowing that the possibility of him never returning was a very real possibility. And she wanted him to know that she loved him, too. Because this might be the last time he ever got to hear it.

"I love you," he whispered, and Connie's eyes glistened as her own tears pooled up in her eyes. She blinked them back and ducked her head, taking a deep breath to steady herself, and Lion wove around her and pressed up against her side silently. "Take care of yourself, Connie."

Connie gave him a _look_. "You first, Universe."

Steven managed a tired smirk in response, but let it drop to a serious expression after a second. "I will." He looked back at the ship, took a deep breath, and rolled his shoulders back.

It was time.

"Stay safe!" Sadie called.

"Be careful," Kiki chimed in.

"Don't die!"

"We love you, Steven!"

"Bye, everyone!"

Steven wrapped his arms around himself, sweeping his gaze across the crowd that had gathered, and managed to tug his lips into a hesitant, shaky smile before he turned and kicked himself up off of the ground, summoning his shield to catch him when he fell back down and diving down into the ship without another word. He landed carefully - thankfully before he had the chance to crash into the wall - and turned around again to look back down across the city. Candy and Lemon Lime poked their heads out to wave goodbye, calling out to the humans. Amethyst, even, poked her head out to call something to Sadie and Greg. Garnet and Pearl stood beside the door, arms crossed over their chests. Beside them, Bismuth was leaning against the wall, biting her thumb as she stared somewhat blankly toward the windshield.

He recognized the uncertainty radiating from her. As the others stepped back to let the door hiss shut, Steven turned his full attention to the rainbow-haired gem. "Bismuth?" He said quietly, and Bismuth jumped, slightly, then swept her gaze toward him. "Are you sure you wanna go? You-"

"Oh, I'm sure," Bismuth replied immediately, tugging her lips into a brief smile. "Absolutely."

Steven held her gaze, searching her face silently for a moment, then offered a faint smile in response and looked away again, toward the others. Peridot was pacing by the control panel where Berry was, absentmindedly spinning her ninja stars around herself. She didn't seem anxious or uncertain; if anything, the expression on her face was one of pure determination. And the others… the off-colors weren't there, save for Spinel, Aqua and Poppy. They'd decided to stay, to help put the fires out and help the town recover once Melanite was gone. Lars was also coming along, despite how much Steven had attempted to persuade him to stay behind with his parents, and Sadie. Everyone else had agreed enthusiastically - even Berry, who, while she wasn't particularly eager to return, had reluctantly admitted it was the best plan they had.

Steven sank down into the seat beside Clementine's, glancing over at the Jasper for a moment. She looked excited, as well - probably more with the promise of seeing Tangerine again than going back to Homeworld - and Steven let the corners of his lips quirk upwards into a brief smile. He wasn't too ready to admit his own excitement just yet, not even to himself, but…

"Alright," Berry mumbled as the door finally shut. "Let's go get Melanite." She rested her hands against the control panel, thinking for a moment, then turned her head. "Everyone ready?"

At the rest of the ship's enthusiastic agreements, the ship took off immediately.

Pearl settled into the seat on Steven's other side. "Are you sure about this, Steven?" She asked after a few seconds, and Steven let out a quiet hum of agreement, looking ahead for a moment. Oh, he was sure about this. He was as sure about this as he'd been the second he suggested it. The hybrid leaned his head back against the back of his seat for a moment, eyes on the windshield as the sky and clouds and buildings blurred past them into the background, as the sight of smoke in the air and flames came into view, the ruined, flaming remains of Beach City.

Anger stirred in his gut, which only strengthened his resolve. He was more sure about this than he'd ever been about anything in his life. And he was absolutely ready to drag Melanite right back to Homeworld. Whatever happened now… whatever happened _later_ , this was the defining moment. Steven was going to make damn sure they brought Melanite down one way or another. He looked down, gazing out across the demolished city as Berry brought the ship higher and higher into the air, swooping clear around clouds of smoke and bringing them to an abrupt halt in front of Brooding Hill. The hybrid looked up, staring ahead for a moment, eyes narrowing. Melanite's ship sat on top of the hill, not even rumbling; and on top of the ship, sat Melanite.

The black gem tilted her head and lifted a hand to wave at them. Steven pushed himself up. "Turn the ship," he murmured to Berry, walking over to the door. Garnet stepped forward, steadying herself at the hybrid's side, as the Ruby shifted her hands over the control panel and turned the ship while Steven pressed his hand to the panel and watched the door hiss open.

"You win!" He yelled to Melanite the second it did, stepping forward to the edge. "You hear me?"

"I'm listening," Melanite called back sweetly, and Steven gritted his teeth.

"You win," he growled, raising his voice further. "You want me on Homeworld? I'm going. _We're_ going," he added, glancing back at the others briefly. Melanite had stood up by the time Steven turned to look at her again, adjusting her gloves as she paced forward to the front of the ship. She paused at the end and crossed her arms, crossing one leg over the other, and smirked.

"Well, it's certainly about time." She pouted for a moment, but it didn't take long for her to tug her lips into that same sweet, confident smile. "I was right. You really do only take action when you're forced to, don't you?" Steven clenched his fists at that, lowering his chin, and sneered.

"I can't wait to see your shards in a bubble."

"And I can't wait to destroy you, _Steven Universe_." Melanite huffed out a laugh. "And I truly, _truly_ cannot wait for the rest of the world, your friends, your family, to see what a fraud you really are. Because, and don't be mistaken," she warned, leveling her gaze with his again. Steven lifted his chin sharply, digging his nails into his palms and grinding his teeth together slowly as she tilted her head to the side, her cold smile melting into something much sharper, and something much more dangerous. "When I'm finished with you, the world will never look at you the same way."

Steven stared at her for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Melanite's lips twitched, holding his gaze for a second longer. Then she shrugged, stepping back, and another rush of anger churned in the hybrid's gut. " _What_ is _that_ supposed to _mean?"_

"Don't worry about it yet," Melanite hummed. "Just know this is going to be _such_ a fun game."

She turned, jumping down, and Steven watched as she disappeared into the ship.

He stared until Garnet put a hand on his shoulder, Ruby's gem feeling warm against his skin.

"Are you ready?"

With Melanite's words still ringing in his head, Steven simply continued to watch as the ship burst to life again, whirring and rumbling, and lifted up into the air. But it paused, seemingly waiting for them; so, reluctantly, the hybrid took a deep breath and stepped back to shut the door again, turning his head in Garnet's direction, and nodded. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."


	17. Chapter 17

Steven stayed near the control panel this time, gazing through the windshield.

They were far out into space now, he knew. He recognized the stars and planets they were flying past, things he'd seen on the way to Earth. His stomach twisted, the longer they flew; anxiety and excitement had made a seemingly permanent home in his stomach, churning away at nauseating degrees with the realization that they could come across Homeworld any second. He could blink, and the planet would appear in front of him. He'd had dreams about this, he'd had _nightmares_ about this, about returning. But this was real, it felt real. He swallowed, breathing in slowly through his teeth, and ducked his head as he gazed ahead at the stars. Planets rolled past them, chunks of asteroids, clusters of stars. As he stared, wrapping his arms around himself, he found himself mesmerized by space's beauty - and not for the first time.

Despite how awful his experiences with it had been, he couldn't get over the feeling of just being there, just existing in space. He couldn't get over how pretty it was. How _breathtaking_ it was.

Peridot joined him after a moment, leaning forward against the control panel beside him as she swept her gaze across the galaxy, gazing somewhat longingly at everything as they passed. "I forgot how…" She trailed off, sighing, and looked away. Steven glanced over at her, silent, but he understood. It had been a long time since she'd been out in space, hadn't it? She'd admitted once that it was hard not to have some feelings about where she came from. She came from all the way out here, from Homeworld. And something as glorious, as beautiful as space was, Steven definitely understood how easy it was to miss. The hybrid leaned his head back, managing a faint smile despite himself. Pearl made her way forward, pausing beside them.

"It certainly is a sight to see, isn't it?" The pale gem mused, biting her lip. Her expression was unreadable, eyes flicking rapidly across the stars. Steven tore his gaze away from the windshield for only a second to look over at her, just in time to see her expression suddenly shift, in time to see her eyes stretch wide all of a sudden, as she whispered a soft, " _oh…"_

Steven snapped his gaze ahead at once, and his breath caught in his throat. The excitement and anxiety brewing in his stomach offered a violent surge, enough to draw a gasp from the hybrid, stomach clenching through waves of dread and elation all at once as he stared ahead.

Homeworld was as beautiful as the first time he laid eyes on it. The broken planet still glowed as brightly as it had the first time he'd seen it, sparkling so brightly that his eyes hurt. Steven lifted a hand, pressing his knuckles to his mouth as the others made their way forward, scrambling close to the front of the ship to get a better look at the planet. He heard Bismuth gasp, a choked sound that sounded more horrified than anything. Amethyst breathed in sharply, breathing a soft 'whoa' on an exhale that sounded equal measures awed and disbelieving. The only ones who stayed absolutely quiet were Berry, Lemon Lime, Candy and Clementine; their faces were unreadable for the most part, though for different reasons. Berry looked more thoughtful than anything, but Lemon Lime, Candy and Clementine's expressions displayed every complicated, confusing, mixed emotion that was currently churning through Steven's chest at that moment.

Garnet lifted a hand, adjusting her visor. Bismuth was the first one to speak, her voice nothing more than a horrified whisper. "What… happened? Homeworld wasn't… like this before…"

Berry sighed, not moving her gaze. "After the rebellion, the Diamonds got desperate. A lot of gems had either defected to the Crystal Gems, or had simply been destroyed when the Diamonds blasted the Earth." She glanced over at Steven for a second, and the hybrid continued to gaze at the planet as it got closer. "They didn't have many options, so they used what resources they had on Homeworld to build the Empire back up. Of course…" The Ruby inclined her head, narrowing her eyes slightly as she gazed at the planet ahead of them, and Steven finally tore his gaze away to look at her. "This was the outcome. It usually _is_ , when a planet is being colonized. And they'd already used Homeworld for as many sources as they could spare from the beginning. Draining it further simply…" She trailed off. "Destroyed it."

Steven bit the inside of his cheek and looked ahead again. Bismuth fell silent, sinking back sharply with a frown, looking a little more disgruntled than Steven had imagined she'd be. Spinel picked her way forward after a moment, coming to a stop beside Pearl, and lifted a hand to press it over her mouth as she stared ahead at the planet. She didn't say anything, nothing but sorrow flickering through her eyes. Steven understood; a planet as beautiful as Homeworld was, even broken… the hybrid couldn't imagine how glorious it must have looked when it wasn't.

"Alright, we're-" Berry cut off with a strangled gasp.

Steven looked up, and he couldn't stifle a shriek in time, covering his mouth.

Startled, muffled shrieks and gasps passed across the ship as everyone got a good look at the planet in front of them, as they breached the atmosphere and finally saw Homeworld up close.

He'd thought Beach City had been bad. But Homeworld was in ruins; nothing was burning, or on fire, but buildings, stretching as far as the eye could see, were tipped over, ripped apart, split in half. Some of them were just completely gone; nothing but rubble where Steven knew towers and structures should be. Warp pads were destroyed. Flags were torn up. Explosions went off. Even the sky, Homeworld's _beautiful_ sky, seemed to have lost its color. It was pitch black.

Steven covered his mouth with both hands, genuinely horrified. The sight of the broken planet tugged at his heartstrings in ways he'd never be able to fully express. Somehow, startlingly enough, it was even worse than looking at Beach City; Homeworld was, completely _, destroyed._

Melanite swooped down in front of them to land, but Berry kept going. Steven dug his nails into his palms, too shocked to even be angry at that point, as he stared down across the battlefield. Even from up here, he could see gems fighting, gems being poofed. Even from up here, he could see gem shards flying as explosions went off. He could see Homeworld gems struggling with the rebels. He couldn't tell which side had the upper hand right then, but as he stared out across the demolished buildings, broken structures, it wasn't too hard to guess either. The hybrid trembled, sinking back sharply, and kept his hand pressed firmly over his mouth.

"Oh my stars…" Peridot breathed, voice shaking slightly. "... oh my _stars…_ "

"This is," Lemon Lime began, choking off for a second. Pearl had both hands folded over her mouth now; Amethyst was unusually quiet, pupils mere pinpricks as she stared. Garnet stood silent, stoic as ever, but her lips were pursed in a frown as she stared ahead. "... this is just…" The Peridot trailed off and shook his head, and Candy narrowed her eyes, shaking her head.

"This is war," she murmured. "This is what war does." She straightened up, stepping forward, and braced her hands against part of the control panel. "So we need to suck it up and end what the Diamonds failed to." Her gaze lifted, and Steven followed it silently, looking across the battlefield to where the palace rested. Part of it was destroyed, but most of it still stood tall; Steven couldn't help but stare for a moment, taking the much-needed distracted as he gazed at the familiar building, the building he'd been held in for days on end, the building that held the Room, and his mind only half-jokingly supplied the thought that he wouldn't mind if _that_ got destroyed. The palace… where he was sure the Diamonds were hiding away from the war.

 _Well._ His gaze flicked toward White Diamond's head for a second. The rebels hadn't seemed to reach that just yet either, but judging by the crowd gathering, they planned to. _Not all of them._

The hybrid continued to stare for a moment, anger finally surging up in his gut, and glanced at Candy. She was right. They could worry about this later; right now, they needed to do what they came here to do. And Steven, for one, was _absolutely_ ready to destroy a few rebels for this.

Berry suddenly let out a quiet groan, something close to a whine, and hunched her shoulders up. Steven didn't want to, but he looked anyway; what he saw made him flinch back a little, fingernails digging into the sides of his face as he stared down at where Berry's lab had once been. Now there was nothing; the building, even the ships. All of it had been destroyed. And judging by the craters littering the area, it was easy to assume an explosion had been what took it all out. Lemon Lime sucked in a shaky breath that didn't come back out, and Berry's shoulders jerked slightly as her hands fumbled with the control panel, fingers shaking slightly, but visibly.

It was a while before anyone spoke again, and Lars was the one to break the silence. "Emerald contact Yellow Diamond," he said suddenly, and Steven glanced back at him. He'd already admitted he was still in touch with Emerald, although considering some of the things Lars said about her, Steven wasn't really sure where their relationship stood. "I…" The pink human gazed at the screen in front of him for a moment, then pressed a button on the arm of his chair to diminish it, looking back up at the others. "As much as I hate to admit it, we might have to side with _them_ to win this war. We don't have the numbers otherwise." Garnet only nodded, although the movement was stiff. Steven simply swept his gaze in the direction of the palace, thinking. Lars was right. They'd come here to bring down Melanite, but they couldn't do that alone. And Steven was the last person who wanted to get in the middle of the Diamonds' affairs - but then, he wouldn't be fighting for them like he had last time. Oh, no, Melanite had made damn sure that this was personal, and Steven was going to treat it as such. The hybrid narrowed his eyes.

After a moment, Garnet lifted her head. "Berry, take us into the palace."

Beside Amethyst, Pearl cracked her knuckles and scowled.

Amethyst only shook her head while Berry swooped down toward the palace. Steven did notice the purple Quartz's eyes lingered on White Diamond's ship, maybe a little longer than the hybrid expected, but she was quick to tear her gaze away to scan the battlefield again. "This is surreal," she mumbled after a moment, wrapping her arms around herself and digging her fingers into her arms, and Steven finally tore his hands away from his mouth, leaning back.

"It always feels like that at first," the hybrid murmured, and frowned. Amethyst… stars, she'd never been in a war like this before. She'd only emerged after the rebellion had ended.

"You haven't been in a war yet, Amethyst," Garnet said quietly, echoing Steven's thoughts. She frowned, adjusting her visor as she gazed ahead, and Amethyst tilted her head back to look up at the fusion for a moment before flicking her gaze to the windshield. "I'm sorry you have to be."

Berry took a deep breath, landing the ship. She seemed to have composed herself, and Lemon Lime seemed to have helped with that, because he'd ended up pressing himself a little closer to the Ruby, the fingers of his limb enhancers curled gently against her shoulder. She didn't shrug him off, either; if anything, she seemed to be somewhat leaning into the touch. "Yellow Diamond is the only one we need to seek out. We should try to avoid the others if possible. Especially Blue Diamond," Berry added, with a quick glance toward Steven, who couldn't stifle a snort in time. Yeah, no, he definitely planned on that. "As for White… I doubt we'll have to worry about her, but we should be careful." Amethyst glanced up a little at this, then ducked her head.

Aqua frowned, their expression unreadable as they gazed at the palace. "I would like to meet…" They didn't finish, but their grey hair dissolved into a light blue as they looked away again. Steven bit the inside of his cheek, remembering the conversation they'd had before. Right. If they did come across Blue Diamond, Aqua probably wasn't going to like what they saw.

Clementine wrapped her arms around herself. "... you think Tangy's out there?"

"Fighting?" Steven managed a tired smile. "I wouldn't doubt it."

Clementine cracked a small smirk, looking over toward the door as Garnet opened it, then narrowed her eyes faintly. "... I'm gonna go find her. You guys… good luck with the Diamonds."

"Good luck finding Tangerine. Be careful," Steven warned, watching Bismuth hop out of the ship with Aqua, Poppy and Peridot in tow. Lars was the next one to follow, but the others stayed for a moment; Clementine offered Steven another smile before she turned away and ducked out, immediately spin dashing back toward where the fighting was going on, and Steven took a deep breath to steady himself before turning and walking back over to Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl.

"I'll take care of the guards," Berry told them, stepping out, and Steven followed. Garnet stayed beside him, resting a hand on the hybrid's head, and Steven shot her a reassuring glance before looking ahead to the palace, silently letting his gaze flick over the gems standing guard. Berry turned, leaving Lemon Lime's side to walk toward them while Peridot made her way over to Steven and the others, pausing beside the hybrid and glaring up at the palace for a moment. Another rush of dread pooled in his gut at the thought of what might happen if they did run into Blue Diamond in here, but now solely because Peridot was there. He couldn't imagine what she would do, face to face with the Diamond that shattered her best friend. Honestly… Steven didn't know what he would do either; this would be the first time he'd seen her since he _remembered_.

"I haven't been here in forever," Spinel mumbled. "Not _here_ -here."

Pearl took a deep breath. "It's been a long time."

"I've never been inside the palace…" Lemon Lime trailed off. "... what is it like?"

"Oh, it's cold," Steven murmured, narrowing his eyes as he stared ahead. "And… big… and empty." He'd been through the halls, in the throne room… Blue Diamond's room… and of course, _the_ Room. Needless to say, while he hadn't seen much, he certainly wasn't impressed by what he had. He much preferred to be outside when it came to Homeworld. Even though, now… as he looked at the sky, he was struck with the harsh reminder that the beautiful planet he'd grown so used to had been so violently, so carelessly destroyed in the wake of the rebels.

The hybrid rubbed his hands together, clenching them tight, and looked toward the others. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Bismuth were exchanging worried looks, silent as they glanced at each other, but they were all quick to snap back to attention when Berry called over to them. "Let's go," she yelled, as the soldiers parted to let them through. "We don't have all day!"

Steven strode forward at once, rolling his shoulders back and straightening up instinctively.

"Welcome back," one of the soldiers murmured as he passed. Steven stilled for a second, recognizing her at once - one of the many Quartzes he'd helped train. "Why _are_ you back?"

"We're here to help," Steven replied, watching the others walk ahead.

The Quartz's expression shifted at once, relief flickering across her face, and she seemed to perk up a little as she stepped closer to him. Pearl stiffened at once, moving closer to Steven, but the hybrid raised a hand to wave her off, with a reassuring glance. "Good," the soldier breathed, looking down at Steven, and frowned. "Be careful out there, Rose. It's getting bad. We've already lost…" She trailed off and shook her head, glancing away. Steven grimaced, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, and the Quartz sighed. "Well… just… don't die."

"I'll do my best. Keep your eyes open," Steven warned. "Remember what I taught you."

The Quartz's lips twitched slightly, tugging upwards just a fraction. "Always."

Steven nodded, glancing over at the other soldiers for a moment, then turned and followed Berry and the others. Pearl fell into step with him quickly, looking curious as she glanced back at the guards, while Candy pushed the door open and held it for the others to walk through. "They seem to… respect you," Pearl commented quietly, glancing back, and Steven let out a soft hum. He'd certainly hoped they respected him; he had trained them, after all. Homeworld only knows how much he respected Agate. Steven had nothing against the gems on Homeworld, the soldiers, gems he'd fought side by side against… of course, there were a _few_ gems he couldn't stand, but most of them happened to be Amethysts. But even then, the Amethysts he'd had to _train_ , he couldn't say he hated them. He didn't really have much of an opinion on them, though.

"Yeah…" Steven gazed at one of the murals as they passed, twisting his mouth. "I trained them. Well, I trained her," he corrected himself, running his tongue over his lips, and huffed out a sigh. "The others… I fought with them on the Pyrope Colony." He quieted a little, eyes narrowing, and skidded to a sharp stop when one of the doors in front of them suddenly opened. He was quick to relax when Yellow Diamond's Pearl stepped out, a screen open in front of her; she paused when she saw them, eyes widening slightly as she took them in, but her gaze went straight to Berry when the Ruby shuffled forward, with a small but surprisingly genuine smile on her face.

"Amber," she greeted, sounding relieved, and Steven blinked. "How are you?"

"I'm just fine, Berry." The Pearl offered Berry a tired, but relieved smile. "Come in, my Diamond is ready for all of you. We should get you all inside before Blue Diamond sees you… she's around here somewhere." Amber's gaze trailed toward Pearl for a second, a faint glimmer of recognition crossing her face, and Steven raised his eyebrows slightly, glancing over at Pearl.

_("Not all Pearls know each other, Steven.")_

It hadn't been a _direct_ lie, but definitely still a lie.

The hybrid grimaced, rolling his shoulders back. He understood; of course they knew each other. Pearl had been Pink Diamond's. She'd probably lied about it to keep _that_ a secret.

He stepped forward, keeping pace with the pale gem as they entered the room, and the hybrid took a quick look around. There wasn't much to see; the room was… rather bare, if he was honest. Cold, glittering yellow walls surrounded them, and a giant window that was covered by a golden curtain. In front of the window rested a giant desk, with several screens pulled up over it. Yellow Diamond herself sat behind the desk, rapidly typing on the screens, but she was quick to look up when they entered, as Amber made her way forward and called out, "my Diamond?"

Berry lifted her hands in a salute at once, and Lemon Lime followed quickly. "My Diamond."

Candy did the same. Steven shuffled forward and followed suit. "Your radiance."

"Hello…" Yellow Diamond trailed off, glancing over each of them, and narrowed her eyes. Steven took a deep breath as her gaze landed on him, but she didn't look angry - more or less contemplative. Her eyes then fell onto Pearl, and then trailed toward where Spinel was. Her expression shifted slightly, an unreadable look flickering through her eyes, and the screens flickered and vanished from her fingertips in an instant. "Close the door, please, Pearl," she ordered, resting her hands against the desk and peering down at the group. Steven shifted slightly where he stood, keeping his arms still, then finally allowed himself to drop the salute. Yellow Diamond stayed silent until Amber had shut the door, simply gazing at them, and finally spoke, "almost every single one of you has managed to piss Blue off in one way or another."

Peridot hissed under her breath, glowering at Yellow Diamond for a moment. Berry merely scoffed, dropping the salute. "Yeah, well with all due respect, she's managed to piss us off too."

"Fair enough," Yellow Diamond conceded, peering down at the Ruby. Berry fell silent, nudging Lemon Lime to get him to drop the salute, and the Peridot shoved his arms down at his sides stiffly, his gaze rooted to the floor. From the corner of his eye, Steven saw Amethyst shoot Pearl and Garnet a weird look - though Garnet seemed more occupied with calming Bismuth down, since the rainbow-haired gem looked ten seconds away from poofing on the spot - but the hybrid eventually left their side to come forward to where Candy, Berry and Lemon Lime were standing. He paused beside the pink Pearl, sparing her a glance, then looked back up again. "Rose Quartz," Yellow Diamond greeted, glancing down at him. "Lovely to see you again."

"Likewise, your radiance," Steven murmured. "But, respectfully, I prefer to be called Steven."

Yellow Diamond inclined her head, lips tugging upwards briefly. "So I've heard." She glanced at Berry for a second as she stood up, and the hybrid watched as she rose to her full height and stepped around the desk. "Well, _Steven_ , my statement stands. I assume you're here to fight?"

"Yes," Berry cut in, narrowing her eyes slightly. "However, before we start making plans, I would like to request a favor." Yellow Diamond raised her eyebrows at that, crouching down in front of them and peering down at the little Ruby, gesturing a hand for her to continue, and Berry took a deep breath and raised her head, turning slightly to gesture back toward them. "I need you to remove a Diamond s-" She stopped, mid-sentence, hand in the air, when the door swung open.

Her pupils shrunk, and Steven felt his blood run cold.

Yellow Diamond inhaled sharply, pushing herself to stand up at once. "... Blue…"

Steven squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, heart pounding, and finally dared to turn around. He had to tilt his head back to look up completely, earrings swinging violently as he took a few steps backwards and stared up at the Diamond in front of him. His Diamond. _Blue Diamond._

She looked exactly the same. And her expression, torn between shock and confusion and fury, was a rather terrifying one. Rage and terror bubbled in the hybrid's chest at once, watching her gaze flicker rapidly across the group. "What is this…?" Her gaze stopped on him, and she froze. Steven froze a little, himself, breath hitching for a second. From the corner of his eye, he saw Amethyst grab Peridot by the arms from behind, pulling the green gem back a few steps when it seemed like she was getting ready to lunge at the Diamond, but Steven kept his eyes rooted to Blue completely as the shock and bewilderment melted away, leaving only pure fury behind. "Rose Quartz…" She seethed, stepping forward, and Steven stiffened and jerked back sharply.

" _Blue,_ " Yellow Diamond snarled, stepping forward. Bismuth scrambled out of the way to avoid being crushed as Blue Diamond took another step, and Garnet and Pearl were quick to join Steven, pressing close to him and pulling him back protectively as they glared at Blue Diamond. "Enough! Listen to me, we don't have time for this-"

"I don't _care_ ," Blue Diamond roared. Steven clenched his teeth, digging his nails into his palms. "You have got to be kidding me…" Her gaze found his again, furious. "I'm going to _break_ you."

"Yeah? Then do it," Steven snapped back without thinking. " _Bitch._ I _dare_ you. _Do it._ "

Blue Diamond blinked, looking taken aback for a moment, then raised a hand and stepped forward. Steven winced, realizing that maybe provoking her wasn't exactly the best choice. What he wasn't expecting was for Yellow Diamond to lunge, pushing herself forward and smacking Blue Diamond's hand to the side just as she had lashed it down to send some sort of bright, blue ball of light that had formed in her hand at them. It crashed into the window instead; Steven winced a little, hearing the glass shatter, but he composed himself again quickly.

"What has gotten into you?" Yellow Diamond spat.

"Me? What's gotten into _you?!"_ Blue Diamond shrieked, turning the full force of her fury on Yellow Diamond then, and Steven watched the latter recoil almost at once. "Why in the name of Homeworld are you _defending_ her? Have you forgotten what she's done? What she _did_ to-"

"Blue, in case you haven't noticed, we are at _war_ here, which we're _losing_ , and all of our soldiers are stretched thin enough as it is!" Yellow Diamond yelled, cutting Blue Diamond off short, and it was Blue Diamond's turn to recoil as the yellow gem continued to seethe, "we cannot _afford_ to focus all our efforts on punishing a gem for something that happened six thousand years ago!"

Blue Diamond's expression shifted, and Steven unconsciously pressed closer to Garnet, who immediately wrapped her arms around him, knowing instinctively what was about to come. "Oh, so just because it happened _oh_ so long ago, it just doesn't matter to you anymore, right? That's usually how it goes with you. Six thousand years! But it's fine, everything's fine, because it was so long ago, you know, when she _murdered_ Pink! But who cares now, right? Definitely not you!" The room shook a little as Blue Diamond stepped forward, and Yellow Diamond stepped back at once, her expression rapidly flitting between a surprising amount of fear and guilt, and _fury_.

"You never cared, did you," Blue Diamond hissed, raising a hand and pointing an accusing finger in her direction. "No, you care more about her murderer than you _ever_ did about Pink!"

Steven couldn't stifle a gasp in time. Even Berry seemed to recoil at that, looking genuinely shocked. Yellow Diamond's pupils shrank slightly, jerking backwards at once; Steven could feel the hurt that radiated from her at that, all anger having diminished in the blink of an eye. The pain was excruciating; he felt it as if it were his own, a horrible, aching pressure in his chest, a horrible amount of _grief_. The hybrid covered his mouth with both hands, stunned into silence for the first time in a long time, and glanced rapidly back and forth between the two Diamonds. Even Aqua, who had had bubblegum pink hair since Blue Diamond had entered, had gone completely rigid, and their hair was slowly changing shade, from pink to frightening pitch _black_.

Blue Diamond's expression shifted, anger turning to shock. "... Yellow… I…"

"We're done," Yellow Diamond interrupted, uncharacteristically quiet now. Blue Diamond recoiled at once, pressing the side of her hand to her mouth and staring at the other gem with wise eyes as Yellow finally lifted her head again. "You no longer have a part in this war, Blue. And you no longer get to have a say in the gems who participate in it. You're done. We're _done._ "

"I…" Blue Diamond sucked in a breath that didn't come back out, mouth opening and closing as she struggled to figure out what to say, but she didn't have a chance before another voice cut in.

"I quite agree with you on that one, Sunlight… now _what_ is going on in here?"


	18. Chapter 18

Steven dared to lift his gaze, dreading what he'd see.

Given everyone's reactions, he was expecting to see… well, a Diamond. Maybe taller than the other two in front of them. Berry had gone completely tense, and Pearl had almost screamed before she managed to muffle the sound with a hand over her mouth. Everyone else had stumbled back, clustering close to each other as they retreated. Steven had simply let Garnet pull him along, but the moment his eyes landed on the figure in the doorway, fear immediately melted into confusion, and then shock. Because there wasn't some big, scary gem standing there; the gem in the doorway was small, roughly Pearl's size. Because she _was_ a Pearl. A pale, white Pearl with a gem embedded in her stomach stood there, with her arms up in the air, hands at her sides. The left side of her face was cracked, her left eye sealed shut completely. The uniform she wore was colored dark grey and black; her skirt bounced lightly as she stepped forward, on her toes, and then settled again. She wore an empty smile, unwavering… _creepy_.

"Rosa?" Berry gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. Steven startled a little, snapping his gaze over to her. The Ruby's eyes were rooted to the Pearl. "Oh my stars… oh my _stars…_ "

Steven stared at her in shock for a moment, then swept his gaze back to the white Pearl when she stepped forward again, crossing one leg over the other and turning her cold smile toward Blue Diamond. He managed to take a little bit of pleasure in the terrified expression that had suddenly flashed across the other gem's face, but fear was quick to take hold of his chest again when the Pearl spoke again. "Did I interrupt something?" She didn't give Blue Diamond the chance to respond, though she did attempt to, her mouth opening uselessly; she snapped it shut again, however, when the Pearl continued, "no? Good, good. In that case, let me ask you something. Are you absolutely _incapable_ of doing anything right? You had one job, Moonlight." A short pause followed, and then, "a job that, might I add, you took on all by yourself."

"White," Blue Diamond breathed, swallowing. "I-"

White.

_White?_

Steven stared at the Pearl, stunned. Everyone else had gone deathly silent at that point; everyone was _frozen_. Nobody dared to move an inch. Not even Yellow Diamond, although she looked less scared and more exhausted than anything. "Homeworld has been perfect, top shape, even for the past six thousand years." White Diamond huffed out a laugh, and Steven leaned back a little on his feet, staring at her silently. How… how could this be White Diamond? "And you take a sliver of control, and suddenly our planet is a warzone! This is why Yellow is in charge of the, um… well, the _all_ of it, and why you're in charge of sitting in your room drowning in your tears. Or whatever it is you do," she added dismissively. "Honestly, Moonlight… we're at war. Don't make this all about you. And _don't_ ," her voice hardened, and Blue Diamond flinched. "Make this all about Pink. Because I think we all know who she preferred, now don't we?"

Blue Diamond jerked her head back. Yellow Diamond simply sighed, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, while White Diamond curled her lips into a cold grin and swept her gaze around. "Now get ahold of yourselves and your courts… Yellow, you're doing _wonderful_ , Sunlight."

Yellow Diamond took a deep breath, chest shuddering, and stepped back toward her desk, offering the Pearl a curt nod as she flicked her gaze back toward Blue. "Thank you, White."

"You must be so tired, carrying this all on your shoulders," White Diamond crooned. "I'll take some of the load off, how does that sound? Blue, your soldiers are under my command. If you want to do something useful, why don't you go out there and fight?" Blue Diamond stiffened a little bit at that, looking down at the Pearl with wide eyes, and she was only met by a cruel smile in response. Steven glanced back and forth, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. He… wasn't sure how to feel right then. On one hand, he liked seeing that expression on Blue Diamond's face maybe a little more than he felt like he should. On the other, knowing what he knew about White Diamond… the hybrid frowned, twisting his mouth. "Actually, that's a splendid idea! Go on, Blue. Find yourself some soldiers to fight with. At least then you'll be making yourself useful."

Before Blue Diamond could reply, Yellow Diamond chose that moment to pipe up again, and Steven spared her an intrigued look as she spoke. "I'd like to place Rose Quartz Facet-1 Cut-8BR and hi- her Squadron under my command," she began, and White Diamond cocked her head to the side, her smile unwavering as she looked up at Yellow Diamond. Then, finally, she turned her attention back to the others. Pearl stiffened, grabbing Steven's arm and tugging him back a little. Garnet and Bismuth were tense. Aqua was hiding behind Poppy and Lars. Peridot had a death grip on Amethyst's arm, and Amethyst… Amethyst was just staring.

He didn't know what to make of the look on her face.

"Certainly." White Diamond's gaze rested on him, her one eye sparkling with amusement as she met his gaze. "Any objections, Rose Quartz? I know how you are with the Diamonds you don't like," she added sweetly, and Steven narrowed his eyes slightly, briefly glancing toward Blue.

"If that were the case, my Diamond would have been reduced to shards a long time ago, your grace," he dared to respond, and Blue Diamond's expression shifted at once, looking furious.

"You…" Blue Diamond growled, lifting a hand.

"I'm _sorry_ ," White Diamond interrupted sharply, and the smile finally dropped. It reminded Steven heavily of Melanite, if he was being completely honest; enough that the hybrid couldn't help but curl his lips back in a brief snarl, one that wasn't quite directed at Blue Diamond, though he didn't move his gaze from hers just yet. "Didn't I just tell you to leave, Moonlight? Didn't I just tell her to leave?" White Diamond demanded, looking back at him, and he huffed.

Humoring her, he played along. "You did. Unfortunately, her head is as hollow as the Earth should've been, so it's easy for things to go in one ear and out the other. Trust me, I know."

White Diamond laughed at that, raising her eyebrows slightly in surprise. Even Yellow Diamond looked mildly impressed, and somewhat amused; Blue Diamond was the only one who didn't seem particularly pleased by that (because even Aqua had snickered a little, though they'd made an effort to hide it with a cough pretty quickly too), but, despite the death glare she had locked on Steven at that moment, she didn't dare open her mouth to say a word. Despite himself, Steven couldn't help but grin a little. She couldn't do a damn thing to him right then. "Well, perhaps I should dismiss her like a Pearl then," White Diamond mused with another laugh, rolling her eye toward Blue Diamond. "Even they can take such simple orders."

Peridot raised her hands, clapping twice in Blue Diamond's direction. "That will be all!"

"Dismissed," Steven added, rolling his wrist. Then, just to be a bitch, he added, "my Diamond."

"In other words, get out," White Diamond hummed, folding her hands together. "Go fight." Blue Diamond hesitated a little, sweeping her gaze around the room silently for a moment. Then, finally, she stepped back and turned, heading for the door. Steven kept his gaze fixed on her until she left, disappearing completely from sight, and White Diamond let out a pleased hum. "Now then…" She turned back to them completely, taking a few steps forward, and her smile slowly morphed into a huge grin as she glanced them over. Her gaze stopped on Spinel, looking intrigued, and she tilted her head to the side. "Oh, Pink's little playmate," she cooed. Steven glanced over, pausing when the Pearl's gaze briefly flicked in his direction, but she was quick to turn back to the pink gem again, looking intrigued. "How interesting. Lovely to see you again."

Spinel hesitated for a second, tugging on her pigtails, then managed to tug her lips upwards into a nervous smile before dropping her gaze completely with a cautious, "hello, my Diamond."

"Hello, Spinel," White Diamond greeted cheerfully, then turned back to Steven. She took another step forward, as careful as ever, and Steven lifted his chin. "And Rose Quartz, as I live and breathe. Well, not literally," she chuckled. "So then, what brings you back, hm? Oh dear, you're not here with the rebels, are you? Not here for another uprising? Should we hide Blue?"

Steven took a deep breath, steadying himself. "We're here to fight the rebels, your excellency."

White Diamond merely smirked. "I know, dear, I figured that out all by myself. It was a joke. I make them. I did make Blue, after all." At this, Steven's lips tugged into a brief, genuine grin, before he remembered who he was talking to and managed to stifle it again, looking away. "Well, if you're here to fight, you should get right to it. I'll leave you all to Yellow for now…" The Pearl paused, peering up at the Diamond in question as she added with a curious little hum, "unless you want me to take them out there while you work on those battle plans, Sunlight."

"No need, White," Yellow Diamond murmured, looking toward the window for a moment, though she didn't move the curtain. "No… actually, you didn't have such a bad idea, going out there and fighting. In fact…" She drummed her fingers against her desk, and nodded. "I'm going to fight."

Steven raised his eyebrows. Berry finally tore her gaze away from White Diamond. "Good."

"Lovely." White Diamond's gaze flicked toward Amethyst, just for a second.

Amethyst sucked in a shaky breath and went still under her gaze as her breath caught completely, chest going completely still. Steven blinked, concerned as he glanced back and forth between them. Amethyst didn't look particularly afraid, but there was something in her eyes, some kind of unreadable expression he couldn't quite place right then. White Diamond, in contrast, looked rather pleased; the Pearl's smile widened, just for a moment, and she stepped away from them again, raising her hands up at her sides once again. "I'll let you get right to it." A white bubble formed around her at once, blocking her completely from sight, and Steven leaned his head back a little as he watched it sink through the floor, as she vanished through at once.

"Okay, what the fuck?" Amethyst burst out, covering her mouth for a second as soon as White Diamond was gone. She simply looked uncomfortable now, eyes on the floor. "What was _that?"_

"Was she… _mind-_ controlling that Pearl?" Lemon Lime's voice shook a little.

"More like gem-controlling," Berry said quietly. She stayed silent for a moment, a myriad of emotions on her face, then shook her head furiously and looked over at Yellow Diamond again. "It doesn't matter. You're right, we don't have time for any of this. So tell us what we need to do."

"You know what we need to do. Pearl." Yellow Diamond gestured toward the door, and Amber rushed over at once to open it for them. Steven twisted his mouth. "We go out there and fight." She paused, flicking her gaze over the group again. Berry was quick to summon her knuckles, and Lemon Lime followed suit; the others followed along quickly, summoning their own weapons. Lars drew his sword, spinning it slightly and hefting it up over his right shoulder. Yellow Diamond watched them all for a moment, silent, then turned. "Are you all ready?"

"We came here ready, your radiance," Steven replied as he summoned his scythe.

"Good." Yellow Diamond straightened up, narrowing her eyes. "Let's go."

They followed her out to the battlefield dutifully, weapons at the ready. Berry stuck close to Lemon Lime, Candy and Peridot, but Steven let himself fall back with Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Bismuth for the most part. Lars wasted no time once they reached the battlefield; as soon as Yellow Diamond gave the 'okay', he had already jumped straight into the fight. While the others rushed ahead, Steven stopped and took a moment to steady himself, breathing in through his nose and exhaling sharply through his mouth as he looked down at the fighting. The battlefield stretched far, much farther than Steven could see. The Homeworld gems on this end seemed to have things covered for the most part… they weren't winning, but they didn't seem to be struggling. But Steven remembered when they'd arrived, passing a cluster of fighting gems that seemed to be mostly made up of rebels. The hybrid twisted his mouth, glancing back.

"Steven?" Pearl reached out, resting a hand on his head and crouching down in front of him.

"I'm alright," Steven murmured, narrowing his eyes. He looked back toward the palace, pulling away, and glanced up at them. "You guys go ahead. I'm gonna go get those soldiers real quick."

Amethyst frowned, glancing toward the field. "Are you sure?"

"There's no reason to guard the palace now, is there? The Diamonds are fighting." Steven looked out for a moment, and nodded. "I'll be back." He lifted his scythe up and turned, summoning his shield underneath him, but he hesitated long enough to glance back at them. "Be careful," he warned. He didn't know what he'd do if anything happened to them.

Garnet reached up, adjusting her visor, and nodded at him. A small smile tugged at her lips, uncertain but genuine and warm all the same. "You be careful too, Steven. We love you."

"I love you, too," Steven replied warmly, then lifted up into the air and took off.

It was a fairly quick flight back to the palace. By the time he got there, the Quartzes had already started moving, however, making a trek toward the battlefield, walking in rows. Steven dropped down to land in front of them, and immediately fell into step with one of the soldiers in the front. "We just received orders from Yellow Diamond to fight," the Quartz told him at once, sparing him a glance from the corner of her eye, and Steven nodded faintly, looking ahead for a moment. Then he came to a stop, lifting a hand, and the other soldiers slowed at once, looking confused.

"Follow me. Weapons ready." None of them protested.

Steven led them to the part of the field they'd passed over, pausing at a good distance to watch the fighting for a moment. Sure enough, there were more rebels than Homeworld soldiers, and the rebels, of course, had the upper hand at the moment. Steven shifted slightly, adjusting his grip on the scythe, and took a deep breath. He wasn't used to this, to leading, but the soldiers behind him seemed more than willing to take whatever orders he was giving them. He remembered, so long ago, Yellow Diamond had been willing to give him a battalion of his own to lead to war. And he'd refused - of course he had. Back then, he really was nothing more than a soldier, only used to taking orders, receiving instead of giving. Did he feel ready now? Not quite.

He waited a moment, thinking it over, then lifted his chin and turned. "Be careful. We'll have the element of surprise, but not for long," he warned. He hesitated for a moment, glancing past them. He could see Yellow Diamond on one side of another battlefield, lightning and electricity crackling as she fought. On the other side, Blue Diamond was sweeping waves of bright blue, flickering energy across the field from her palanquin. "... do what you have to do. Shatter if you _need_ to," he added, glancing back at the soldiers, who nodded at once. "Otherwise, bubble."

One of the Quartzes grinned good-naturedly at him. "Finally taking charge, huh, Rose?"

"Oh, I'm taking charge alright." Steven paused, taking a deep breath, and turned his head. "So charge." The soldiers rushed forward at once, gems glowing as they summoned their weapons; Steven moved forward with them, scythe in hand, and lunged at one of the rebels, poofing them before they even had the chance to look up at him. He turned, spinning and slashing down at another who had lunged for him without thinking, fumbling to grab both of the gems to bubble them and dodging a strike from a sword as two more rebels turned and lunged toward him. He heard the other soldiers yelling as they attacked, throwing out battle cries and screaming their victory as they fought, and Steven finally allowed his lips to tug into a toothy, genuine grin.

He blocked another blow with his scythe and lunged for the rebel at once, lifting his foot and slamming it into the gem's stomach without hesitation. They flew back, slamming backwards into the crumbled remains of a demolished building, and Steven turned to deflect another attack as the rebel he'd kicked back jumped to her feet again, stalking toward him with a low snarl.

Steven sneered and lashed out when they lunged, slamming the blunt end of his scythe into their face and twisting around when the other rebel grabbed the back of his shirt, wordlessly bubbling one of his fists and slamming it into their chest to knock them back. He managed to poof the other one when he turned back around, bubbling the gem instantly and sending it off with the others, then whirled around and faced the other one dead on. They fought for a second, blow for blow, before Steven finally managed to poof them as well, turned to keep fighting.

He fought in silence, poofing one rebel after another. He received a few more nicks and scars, and was careful to shield his gem (at least when he remembered to). At one point, one rebel with a sword managed to slice him straight across the throat; he choked for a second, blood bubbling to his lips as he stumbled back away from them, and managed to block another blow just in time. He lifted his other hand to his throat, fingers shaking slightly as he felt the blood. The pain faded quickly, but the blood continued to pour until he managed to heal himself. Then he launched straight back into the fight, this time with a vengeance, and simply proceeded to swing nonstop until he finally managed to poof the rebel, bubbling the gem and sending it away.

He touched his throat again, feeling the scar that had been left behind, and frowned. That was… peculiar. But he shook the thought off quickly enough and turned to face another rebel.

He found himself face to face with Angel Quartz.

The hybrid lunged without waiting for her to say anything, even though her mouth opened to do just that. He slashed and swung without hesitation, blocking blows from her pickaxe with his shield without pausing. The blue gem gritted her teeth as they fought, looking frustrated, and he allowed a cold smile to tug at his lips as he slashed at her. She managed to deflect almost every blow; the ones that landed weren't enough to poof her, but he took a certain amount of pleasure in being able to simply _hurt_ her for the most part. She'd blown up his city. On Melanite's orders, sure, but she was the one that had done it. She'd been the one sending out explosion after explosion. Steven bared his teeth, anger renewed, and spun, slamming his fist into her chest.

She grabbed him by the arm and flipped him over her shoulder, blade to his throat. The hybrid stiffened and swallowed, chest heaving as he went still. He tightened his grip on his scythe, mind racing as he shifted his legs and pulled his feet underneath him, preparing himself to shove her off and jump to his feet. But she pushed him down harder, one hand grabbing his wrist and squeezing hard enough to make him let go of the scythe with a grunt, pupils shrinking. Angel Quartz merely grinned at him, eyes flashing dangerously, then lifted the pickaxe.

He braced himself for the blow.

It didn't come.

Instead, a spear stuck itself straight through Angel Quartz's chest from behind, and the blue gem froze with the weapon in the air, staring down at him. Steven took the chance to yank his hand from her grip, scrambling back as she poofed and jumping to his feet. He didn't mind the gem yet; instead, he stared at the spear for a moment. A pale purple spear with a white blade; there wasn't much of a design, but it was long, and sharp. And he recognized it instantly. Steven clenched his teeth, jaw tightening, mixtures of dread and fury pooling in his gut as he lifted his gaze to the gem wielding it. To the Amethyst in front of him - the Amethyst that had spent hours in the Room with him, torturing him, the Amethyst he'd spent most of his time on his knees in front of while she shoved a destabilizer in his back, Chevron Amethyst Facet-21F7B Cut-4GU.

He clenched his teeth while she caught Angel Quartz's gem, eyes sparkling, and snapped her gaze up to his with a cold, cruel grin written across her face, nothing but excitement in her eyes.

"Chevron," he growled.

"Rosie," Chevron crooned. "Welcome home."

Steven lowered his chin, glancing down at the gem in her hand, and Chevron lifted it up for him to see. "Oh, yeah, you're welcome, by the way." She snickered, and Steven grinded his teeth together silently, flicking his gaze furiously around the battlefield for a moment. He turned back to her in time to see her clenching her fist around the gem, tighter and tighter. He opened his mouth to say something, a little too late; the gem broke apart in her hand like it was nothing, and Steven flinched a little from the sound it made, like glass cracking and shattering all at once.

He felt no grief for the gem, no, and yet he felt a whole lot of anger for the one who had shattered her. The hybrid hissed, taking a few steps back as Chevron opened her hand up to reveal the gem shards in her hand, then silently turned it over and let them fall to the ground.

"That was unnecessary," Steven said lowly, flicking his gaze across her face.

"Oh, yeah? I'll let _you_ get shattered next time." Chevron sauntered forward, and Steven backed away from her on instinct, casting a furious look over his shoulder. "Where's your friends?"

"Fighting," Steven snapped. "Don't worry about it." He stepped back again, then steadied himself and pushed past her, storming back toward the battlefield. He must have strayed a little too far when he was fighting Angel Quartz… Chevron followed after him, and Steven clenched his fists for a moment, then summoned his scythe again. He didn't like that she was behind him. Stars, what was he thinking, turning his back on her? That was a mistake. Oh, shards, he'd made a mistake. But she didn't do anything; she made her way forward, falling into step with him, and while the hybrid tensed a little, he had to admit it was better than her being behind him.

"Okay, not trying to sound judgy, but you're being a bit…" Chevron paused. "Mm, _rude._ "

"My _sincerest_ apologies," Steven muttered. "Did you want me to thank you? Sorry, my bad. Thank you so much for saving my life. You can leave now." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, really looking at her for a moment. She was a pretty tall gem - taller than him, for sure. Roughly Jasper's height, if he remembered her correctly… maybe a little shorter, but… her hair was pale purple, almost white - kind of Amethyst's shade, actually, but hers was much shorter, resting a few inches above her shoulders. Her skin was a much darker shade of purple, though. Her gem rested on her right forearm, a few inches above her wrist. Steven twisted his mouth sharply, staring for a few seconds, then tore his gaze away, glaring ahead once more.

"Really?" Chevron turned her head toward him as they reached the battle again, twirling her spear idly and slamming it to the side to poof a rebel without looking. She caught the gem, clenching her fist around it, and Steven winced a little as he heard it shatter, forcing himself not to look. He hated that, how she could just shatter gems left and right like it was nothing. How she could do it so casually, so carelessly, without even thinking about the lives she was taking. It wasn't even the shattering itself; it was just how she did it so effortlessly. "I was hoping we could be battle-buddies, you know. But if you're gonna have an attitude about it this whole time…"

"You can do what you want," Steven warned, "but we are _not_ buddies." He jerked back, blocking an attack from one of the rebels, and fell silent as he turned to fight them. He poofed them rather quickly, bubbling the gem to send it off, and prepared to head back into the battle.

"And here I thought we had a connection," Chevron called to him over the fighting. Steven shook his head, summoning his shield to deflect another blow. "I saw your friends earlier, y'know. The Jasper and the Agate and the Hessonite." Steven paused at that, turning his head, but he didn't get a chance to ask where she'd seen them. An explosion went off, close enough to send a cloud of dirt and rubble flying in their direction, and Steven, despite himself, was quick to lunge forward and envelope himself, Chevron and a few other soldiers in a bubble just before a piece of one of the broken buildings hit the side of it, right where Chevron was. The Amethyst stumbled back at once, and the bubble moved a little with her; she stared for a moment, watching the dust settle, then turned her head and grinned at him. "Awh, you care about me."

Steven shot her a glare, and tried to pretend that didn't remind him of Amethyst. He dropped the bubble, getting some distance between them once again. "Shut up. Where did you see them?"

"I'll show you," Chevron hummed, stepping toward him, and winked. "No funny business. Promise. My Diamond's orders were _very_ specific - I'm on your side, Rosie." Steven twisted his mouth sharply at that, staring at her silently for a moment, then glanced away again and sighed. The explosion had caused most of the rebels to scatter anyway; most of the gems on this side of the battlefield had dispersed rather quickly. And if it meant seeing Tangerine, Agate and Sage again, as long as Chevron kept her hands to herself, he didn't see a reason not to go with her.

"Fine," he mumbled, rolling his eyes in her direction. "Don't call me 'Rosie'."

"Whatever you say, _Rosie_." Chevron smirked, turning away from him and dashing off. After a moment, thoroughly pissed off, Steven summoned his shield under his feet and flew after her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chevron led him across Homeworld, toward the very edges of the battlefield.

Having to follow her around was bad enough, but it really didn't help that she couldn't seem to stop running her mouth the whole time. "And _this_ has been going on for a while. Right when you disappeared, actually. Coincidence? I think not," the Amethyst tutted lightly, and Steven rolled his eyes, eventually simply rising up further into the air to get a better look down below without having to worry about being attacked. But he did lower back down after a moment, mostly to poof a rebel that had lunged for Chevron - not out of any concern for her, but mostly because he knew that if she got her hands on their gem herself, she'd just shatter them, and he wasn't sure he had the patience to deal with her murderous tendencies right then. "But either way, it's been kinda fun, actually! I kinda lost track of like… my entire Squadron, but it doesn't really matter."

"You could not _fathom_ how much I don't give a single gem shard about this," Steven commented, and Chevron scoffed as she glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Someone's got an attitude. I'm just making conversation."

"Right," Steven bit out sarcastically. "And I love talking to you about as much as I love having a _destabilizer_ shoved into my spine." He dropped the shield after a second to walk, lifting his scythe up slightly and turning it so that he could use the blade to check behind him. "We're not friends, Chevron. I actually can't stand you. So why don't you do me a favor and, uh, shut up?"

Chevron glanced at him, then smiled coldly and looked ahead again. "You're all talk out here, aren't you, you ungrateful little twerp?" Steven raised his eyebrows in disbelief at her choice of words there, while Chevron spun her spear around her briefly and sidestepped a rebel, turning to poof them. Steven beat her to it, bubbling and sending the gem away, while the purple Quartz paused, stared at him for a moment, and offered a dry smirk before she turned and kept walking. "Look, I get it. I tortured you. Am I sorry? No. Do I regret it? No. Am I willing to put my love of hurting you behind us for the sake of defeating our common enemy? Of course I am!" She paused, looking back at him. "'Sides, I didn't take you as someone who held grudges."

"I didn't used to be." Steven fixed his gaze ahead for a moment, lowering his chin. "But someone told me once that I'm allowed to be angry at the people who hurt me. I kinda took that to heart. And you know what? I'm allowed to be as angry at you as I want to be, even now. Do I hate you? Yeah. Would I put you in a bubble if I had the chance? Yeah. Am I willing to put everything you did to me behind us 'for the sake of defeating our common enemy'? No, I'm not. I don't have to forgive you for anything. I don't even have to tolerate your presence. The only reason I'm with you right now is because A, you won't leave me alone, and B, you're taking me to my friends." He rolled his shoulders back sharply, summoning his shield again and rising back into the air, and dodging a rebel that had lunged at him. "So yeah, I'm holding grudges, and no, the fate of Homeworld doesn't rely on the two of us being best friends. And even if it did," he added, glaring at her from the corner of his eye, "Homeworld's fate isn't my responsibility."

Chevron raised her eyebrows, looking more amused than anything. "Then why're you here?"

Steven glanced up at the sky for a moment, then dropped his gaze again, setting his jaw. "Because we had to choose between fighting on Earth and fighting here, and I figured it'd be a great idea to lump all of my enemies together in one place. Don't worry, I'll save you a fight." He rolled his eyes to himself, and Chevron snorted out a laugh, poofing another rebel and clenching her fist around the gem. Steven took a deep breath and swallowed, glancing away again, and tried not to flinch too noticeably when he heard the gem shatter. "How much farther are they?"

"I dunno," Chevron replied, brushing the shards off her hands. "They were in this area last I saw." Steven lifted his head then, glancing around, then soared upwards into the air, crouching down to grip the edge of the shield as he spun it around and flicked his gaze across the field. But, after a moment, he lowered himself back down. There were too many gems out there, too much smoke from explosions, too much rubble. He couldn't see enough to get a good look at _who_ , exactly, was out there. The hybrid set his jaw and frowned, diminishing the shield to land again, and Chevron spared him an amused glance before turning away and lashing out for another rebel. This time, the blade went right through the gemstone itself; Steven bit his lip and scowled, looking away as it shattered, and took a deep breath to steady himself. "No luck, eh?"

"No." Steven paused, sweeping his gaze around. "It doesn't matter." They were alive, that was the important thing. He was sure he'd see them after this was over - however long it took for that to happen. He turned away completely, ready to tell Chevron that she could go now, since there was really no reason for him to be around her anymore, but he paused and snapped his mouth shut when he saw she had seemingly just… frozen. She was just standing there, eyes fixed on the floor, eyes narrowed and glazed over with a faraway yet concentrated expression. Steven stared at her for a few seconds, bewildered, but he was quick to move again when another rebel lunged for him. He poofed them silently, glancing around, then looked back.

Chevron had snapped back to attention, with a rather delighted look on her face now, almost smug. Steven bubbled the gem and sent it away as she turned back to him again, curling her lips back into a toothy grin before she abruptly took off past him. "Okay, come with me."

Steven sighed, glaring after her for a moment, and followed.

Once again, they fought their way across the battlefield. They had to stop a few times this time thanks to whoever was deciding to set off more explosions, and Steven encased them safely in a bubble each time until the danger passed. He poofed and bubbled the gems he fought, and tried not to focus too much on Chevron whenever she tangled with the rebels. For the most part, they simply pushed forward. It took a lot longer this time for them to reach their destination; Steven wasn't sure how far they walked, or for how long, but he was rather certain it had been at least a few hours. He'd ended up tying his shirt up to reveal his gem, mostly out of necessity; Homeworld was suddenly too hot, stifling, and he couldn't think or fight under those conditions.

Chevron, of course, didn't have the sense to stop talking. "You should have seen Blue when you left, by the way. Oh, stars, she was furious! You're lucky she was preoccupied, I swear…"

Steven sighed through his teeth, keeping pace with her now. "Uh huh."

"Although, I think most of the reason she didn't come right after you was Yellow. She was pretty much ready to march down there and grab you herself, but Yellow was all like 'no, that's stupid' or whatever and…" Chevron huffed out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Okay, maybe she didn't say those exact words, but whatever. Point is, she was also pretty furious. Which, understandable. I mean, you taking off is one thing, but Blue Diamond trying to go to Earth in the middle of a war just to look for you? Yikes, that would've been bad." The Amethyst rolled her eyes, chuckling.

Steven narrowed his eyes, looking ahead. For a moment, he wondered how she knew they were on Earth, but he dismissed the thought quickly. If Sage, Agate and Tangerine had told the Diamonds anything, Chevron apparently would have known about it, since she seemed to know so much about whatever the hell was going on with them. Steven honestly didn't care right then.

"Aha!" Chevron cheered, coming to a stop. "There they are."

Steven looked up at once, summoning his shield under him immediately. Sure enough, just ahead of them, Tangerine, Amethyst and Clementine were side by side, fending off four rebels. The sight of the smaller Jasper was definitely a breath of fresh air for the hybrid; she was a sight for sore eyes if he ever saw one. He curled his lips into a grin, swerving upwards on the shield to get a better look around. He saw Agate on the far side of the battlefield, electric whips flying rapidly as she poofed rebels back and forth. Sage was pressed back against her, the two of them fighting back to back while the Hessonite Garnet swung her own weapon. She'd seemingly traded her whips in for an axe, which Steven glanced over appreciatively before turning away again to look for the others. Pearl and Candy were back to back. And Lemon Lime and Berry had fused again - said fusion (which Amethyst, to Lemon Lime's delight and Berry's amusement, had taken the liberty of calling 'Strawberry Lime') was side by side with Garnet. Peridot was close by, wielding little metal daggers now against the rebels she was fighting.

Aqua and Poppy were practically dancing across the battlefield, poofing rebels effortlessly as they went. Bismuth and Lars were fighting together, he was surprised to see; Bismuth had shifted one of her hands into a sword and was currently engaged in a rather brutal fight with a rebel, and Lars was at her side fighting another. Spinel was spinning around everywhere she went like a pink tornado, poofing gems with her scythe, which sped around her in a blur, wherever she went. Everyone was fine; all of his friends and family were holding their own.

Satisfied, Steven prepared to swoop back down, but he paused when a bright glow ahead of him caught his eye. His gaze immediately went back to Candy and Pearl, watching with wide eyes as the two of them pressed back together, gems pulsing and glowing, and began to fuse.

The fusion that took their place was stunning; Steven couldn't keep the grin off of his face as he stared. For starters, she was tall; _very_ tall. Big enough to probably hold him in her hand…

As for her looks, she had dark pink hair with lighter streaks through it, short but long enough to briefly cover the gem on her forehead as she spun around toward the battle again. Her skin was a little darker than Pearl's, taking on somewhat of a pinkish tint, though not by much. Her shirt somewhat resembled what Pearl's had looked like before, going halfway up her neck and not covering her shoulders, but it was white. Part of it was carved out into a star shape, just over her stomach. She also had gloves on, white fading into pink. At the top, on her shoulders, two pink, swirly-looking sleeves curled outwards. They seemed to be connected to the gloves, and not the rest of the outfit itself. She had on a pair of pale pink shorts, and a pale pink belt with a bow wrapped around her hips. And, just like Candy, she had the transparent, skirt-like 'pants' wrapped around her legs all the way down to the ankles.

She was gorgeous. Steven couldn't help but smile as he watched her, just for a moment, then shook his head furiously and swooped back down to where Chevron was, remembering where they were and what they were doing. Over the fighting, he heard Tangerine yell out, "oy! Sweets, Pearl, look'it the two of ya! Well, the one of ya! Whatever, ya look amazin', sugar!"

"Thank you," the Pearl called, summoning her weapon. It was a battleaxe - a perfect combination of their weapons, he knew. He didn't get a chance to get a good look at it before she turned and swung it at a rebel, poofing them, but he did see it was colored with different shades of pink and white, with some sort of design he couldn't make out on the blade. "And you can call me Taffy, dear." Steven smirked a little to himself, eyes sparkling with amusement, then glanced beside him, where Chevron stood with an almost impressed expression on her face.

"Talk about timing," the Amethyst laughed.

"Shut up." Steven moved forward, raising his voice with a grin. "Hey, guys!"

Almost immediately, Tangerine's head whirled in his direction first. Taffy looked over, eyes brightening at once with relief, and Amethyst and Garnet immediately lifted their hands to wave at him briefly before turning back to the fight. Tangerine, however, wasted no time in spin dashing right over to Steven, completely abandoning the rebel she was fighting to get to him, and Steven stopped to brace himself for the impact. The smaller Quartz leaped up into the air before she could hit him, but she propelled herself forward almost immediately to throw her arms around him, and while he did stumble a little, he was quick to wrap his arms around her.

"Quartzy, oh my _stars_ , it's so good to see ya again!" She exclaimed, pulling away from him, and he grinned back down at her as she looked him over. "Oh, gosh, look'it you! Nice earrings!"

"Thank you," Steven laughed, setting her down with a smile. "It's great to see you, Tangy."

Tangerine giggled, then smirked. "Uh, yeah, of course it is." She paused, looking over her shoulder, then shot him a sneaky smile. "Unfortunately, the reunion's gonna hafta be cut a lil short. We've been fighting for a while. Yo! Clem told me Melanite came to Earth." Her expression shifted, a dark look briefly flickering across her face. "Is she here now? Ya see her?"

"I haven't seen her yet, not here," Steven admitted. "I saw Angel Quartz, though."

"Ohhh yeah?" Tangerine lit up again immediately, eyes blazing. "Where's the little coprolite?"

"Dead," Chevron called from behind Steven, and the hybrid allowed his smile to falter for a second, shooting a glare back at her over his shoulder. Tangerine blinked, looking past him briefly, and narrowed her eyes at Chevron for a moment before turning back to Steven again.

"She did it," he felt the need to clarify, quietly. "Not me."

"Well… good riddance, right?" Tangerine offered him a smile, and the hybrid sighed, but nodded faintly in response. "Either way, we got a battle to win. Battle-buddies?" She offered him her hand, and Steven was much happier to oblige with her than he had been with Chevron. Ignoring the purple gem completely as she said something about 'oh so you'll fight with her but not me', he took the smaller Quartz's hand and allowed her to tug him back to the others, into the fight. He poofed a rebel as he went, letting go to lunge at one that seemed to be giving Strawberry Lime some trouble, and shot the fusion an amused grin as he poofed her before he turned away again. He was pleased to see Agate and Sage had made their way over, shoulder to shoulder.

Sage greeted him with an excited smile, wrapping her whips around a rebel. "Steven! Good to see you!" She turned, flinging the rebel to the side and crashing them back into a broken statue.

"Good to see you too," Steven laughed, poofing another gem. "Hey, Agate."

"Steven," Agate greeted curtly, lashing her whips at a rebel and poofing them immediately. She turned back to him after a moment, scrutinizing him carefully, and the hybrid briefly turned his head to offer his former mentor a warm smile as she simply glanced him over from head to toe. "I knew you'd show up soon, you can't seem to keep your nose out of Homeworld's business."

"Oh, yes I can. I'm here on my own business," Steven corrected, slamming his scythe forward and slashing another gem across the throat, poofing them instantly. He caught the gem, bubbling it, and turned to block another blow with his shield, shoving the gem back toward Tangerine. The smaller Quartz jumped up, wrapping one arm around the rebel's neck, and reached down with the other hand to wrap her fingers around the gemstone, pulling hard; Steven grinned to himself, watching the rebel poof, and Tangerine dropped back to her feet.

"These rebels," she sighed, bubbling the gem. "Just don't know who they're messin' with."

"No, they don't." Steven spun around, lashing out at a rebel that had lunged for him. They managed to land their own blow, slashing him right across the chest, and Steven caught the gem with one hand and healed the wound with the other without breaking stride, and kept going.

It was time to be a soldier again.

* * *

Days passed.

Steven, eventually, found himself straying from the others. Occasionally one of them would catch up to him, fighting beside him, but for the most part, Steven was on his own, and everyone else spread out. Taffy and Strawberry Lime unfused. Steven saw the Diamonds on occasion, but he never came close to them; Blue Diamond continued launching attacks from her palanquin, but Yellow Diamond had thrown herself right out there into the battle. The last time he'd seen her, she was… a little smaller. Maybe roughly about Alexandrite's size, but certainly not nearly as tall as she had been. Steven would offer her a nod in passing every now and then, but he stayed away for the most part, because she tended to use her electric powers to take out the rebels in her area, which resulted in lightning-like attacks, so Steven figured it best to stay away. But, after a few days, everything else seemed to fizzle and fade away to the background.

Like on the Pyrope Colony, he found himself running on pure adrenaline. He stopped every now and again to eat, mostly at Pearl's request, so he pretty much survived on nutrition bars - but he didn't sleep. There was no time to sleep, not out here. He spent what little breaks he had eating and drinking and healing himself and any other soldiers that needed it, but otherwise, he _fought_.

Finally, it all came to a head. Steven didn't remember where he was when he saw her. He just remembered seeing her and taking off in her direction, flying on his shield, without thinking.

She saw him coming. She met him dead on, scythe ready, and they clashed.

Eventually, Steven threw all caution to the wind. He didn't care where he aimed, or where _she_ aimed. He narrowly avoided her attacks, mostly because his body reacted before his mind could, and he only grew more and more furious when she deflected each of his own. They fought for a while, so long Steven wasn't sure how much time had passed. They drove each other forward and backwards, breaking through crowds of fighting gems as they slashed and sliced at each other. Steven ended up throwing his scythe to the side, diminishing it, and simply lunged straight at her; her own weapon vanished, flickering from her fingertips at once, as he grabbed her by the throat and spun them both around, rearing back and punching her toward a half-demolished statue. It broke apart further as she slammed back against it, but she wasn't fazed; she only grinned, laughing, and cracked her knuckles before she lunged back at him.

Her fist connected with his jaw, and he heard a sharp crack, felt the pain flush through his face. He stumbled, lifting a hand, and managed to turn and jump away from her before she could wind back and punch him again. He delivered a harsh kick to the face as he floated backwards, and she stumbled but didn't fall. When she lunged this time, he met her head on, catching her fist with one hand and slamming the other one hard against her gem, shoving her against the wall. She breathed in sharply as he slammed her back into a wall, causing a piece of it to break off and crash to the ground beside them, but Steven didn't move, simply narrowed his eyes.

Melanite grinned at him, eyes wide with excitement, and looked down at where his hand was pressed against her gem. "Well, go on," she said after a moment. "Go on and shatter me."

Steven hesitated for only a second, then narrowed his eyes.

He tightened his grip and pressed down harder.

Melanite laughed, breathless, and kicked herself forward. He startled for a second, jerking away from her, but he didn't have the chance to get away. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, turning and shoving him forward against the wall, and his breathing hitched in a gasp as he slammed forward against it. He struggled against her for a second, feeling her hand press against his back, against all the scars. The simple contact made them sting; he could feel the electricity racing through him even now. His muscles tensed, adrenaline reaching its peak, and he threw himself backwards, twisting to try and break free. He wasn't expecting her arm to loop around his neck from behind, holding him in a headlock with a vice-like grip, choking him. The air left his lungs at once, mostly in response to the sudden rush of panic that engulfed him, and he bucked against her hold and gasped, straining to suck in as much air as he possibly could.

She didn't make it easy for him. Her grip tightened as she spoke to him, cutting his air supply off completely, and Steven gasped uselessly at air that just wouldn't come as he lifted his hands and clawed at her arm, prying at her hand in a helpless attempt to get her to let go, to get her grip to loosen just a little, oh, _stars, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe he couldn't breathe-_

"You were really going to shatter me," she was saying, incredulous. "Weren't you?" She laughed, tightening her grip further, and the hybrid choked out a pained, breathless scream, which unfortunately emptied out whatever air was left in his lungs. He sputtered, struggling harder, while one of her hands tangled in his hair, forcing his head back. Her grip loosened a little, just enough to let him suck in a gasp, a sharp burst of air, before she tightened it again. "I don't know whether to be hurt, proud or disappointed. You just weren't quick enough, darling."

"Stop, stop, stop," Steven gasped, chest heaving as he twisted his head, struggling to at least get free enough to suck in another breath. Melanite's grip held strong. "Please," he tried. "Ple-"

"Are you _begging?"_ Melanite laughed, tightening her grip. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

Steven let out a quiet whimper, going still for a second. She was going to kill him. She had every chance right then. His breathing hitched, terror rolling through him, blood running cold. It felt like every vein had turned to ice. "But… then again… you know, you were just going to kill me, so maybe I'm not the best one to be asking for mercy," Melanite considered, then let out a soft hum as she ducked her head. He shivered, feeling her breath against his ear as she whispered, "but maybe we can strike a deal. I just had the best idea before you found me - how convenient." She loosened her grip, and the hybrid immediately sucked in as much air as he could, chest heaving as he gasped. "And maybe if you agree with me, I'll spare your life. And your friends."

Steven clenched his teeth and swallowed, glancing to the side. He wanted to move, but he didn't dare shift against her yet, fearing how she'd react and not wanting to risk getting his air cut off again. He took another breath, aching lungs begging greedily for more air he willingly supplied, then shuddered and forced himself to nod. "Okay. Okay. What do you want, then?"

He needed to figure out how to get out of her arms right now. He needed to get free. He-

"I want you," Melanite whispered in his ear, "to help me shatter the Diamonds."

Steven went still for a second, stunned.

"I mean, you're clearly not against it." She ran her fingers through his hair, her grip still tight around his throat, and Steven cringed and resisted the urge to try and jerk his head away. "You were just about to shatter me, right?" Melanite laughed, pulling her head back slightly. Steven shut his eyes and swallowed, taking another deep breath, and let it out again slowly before immediately sucking in another one when he felt her arm shift around his throat. It didn't tighten, not yet, but he held his breath for a moment longer before letting it out once more, cautious. "And the Diamonds… oh, how much the Diamonds have hurt you. You know it. I know it. You can't tell me you're not sick of them," she cooed, tilting his head back a little. "So join me."

Steven stared up at her for a moment, jaw trembling. Then, gritting his teeth together slowly, the hybrid forced himself to nod again. He just needed to get her to let go. "Okay… alright… I'll…" He paused for a moment, watching her expression shift. She wasn't buying it. Quickly, the hybrid summoned his scythe and jerked his head to the side, lashing the blade upwards at her.

Melanite caught the handle effortlessly with one hand, and tightened her grip around his throat. "Pathetic," she mumbled, her smile dropping into a cold, dangerous frown as she pulled the scythe away from him, and Steven writhed against her for a second, trying to throw himself backwards, and then forward, desperately trying to get her to let go of him. She held his scythe in one hand for a moment, spinning it idly beside them. "You know, I shouldn't be too surprised. After all…" She moved the scythe closer, and Steven went still, eyes snapping downwards, when the blade pressed right up against his gem. Melanite stared for a moment, raking it across slowly, then curled her lips into a dark smile and ducked her head again. "They're your family."

Steven froze, the gears in his head screeching to a full stop. "... what?" He managed to choke out, not understanding. Her grip tightened again, effectively silencing him, and he gasped.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Melanite chuckled, squeezing slightly, and eliciting a sharp cry from the hybrid's lips as her arm pressed tighter against his throat. "I keep giving you these choices, _trying_ to be nice here, trying to do the right thing, and help you do the right thing… and you just won't. I don't know why you're so _unbelievably_ stubborn, but-" She huffed out a laugh and jerked him back against her, and Steven yelped, writhing again for a second. "I'm getting sick of it. I'm going to bring the other Diamonds down one way or another, whether you help me or not."

Steven shifted his head a little, managing to breathe in again, and swallowed. The right thing. She was calling everything she was doing the _right thing._ This was so far from the right thing that Steven didn't even know what to call it, because it had gone _far_ beyond 'wrong'. "No…" He swallowed, breathing in again shakily, and forced himself to continue despite the fear worming its way through his gut. "You know what? F- fuck you. Fuck you, Melanite." He shifted again, feeling the blade of his own scythe press against his gem a little harder, but he pressed on. "Whatever the Diamonds have done, I'd rather die fighting on their side than live knowing I spent even a second on yours." He swallowed, gritting his teeth, and sucked in another breath.

Melanite tightened her grip, eerily silent for a moment.

"Then you will," she finally replied. "Just like the rest of them." He felt the blade shift against his gem, breath hitching on a quiet sob as he screwed his eyes shut, bracing himself as it lifted away from him. The blow didn't come, however; instead, the blade pressed against his stomach, right beside his gem. She held it there for a moment, not hesitating, seemingly just thinking.

Then she pressed it in, and the hybrid screamed. He _screamed_. The blade cut through his skin, digging into the space between his gem and his skin, and Steven swore - being cracked, being electrocuted - none of that compared to this, not even for a second. He screamed, breathless and running out of air, as Melanite dug the scythe into his stomach deeper and deeper; blood ran down the blade, down his stomach, the front of his shorts, pooling against the floor near his shoes. There was so much blood, he could feel it sticking to him. His gem was glowing - perhaps in protest to what was happening? - as Melanite shifted the blade a little, pressing it in a little deeper, and finally stopped. By the time she did, Steven found himself sobbing, eyes squeezed shut tight. It took him a while to be able to pry them open again, shaking against her hold, and it took him even longer to look down, to see the blade of his own scythe sticking deep into his own stomach, resting just beside where his gem was. She shifted it, and he _screeched_.

Then she pulled it out.

His gem came out with it.

She pried it out slowly at first, making sure the scythe had a good grip on it. At that point, her grip around his throat had tightened, and he was choking too much, out of oxygen, to be able to scream anymore. His throat ached, feeling raw; he couldn't focus on anything around them, but all the fighting noise had stopped. Or maybe it hadn't. Maybe it was still going. He couldn't hear anything right then except the pounding of his own heart, and the echoes of his own screams still ringing through his ears. And he couldn't see anything, couldn't move his gaze from his gem and the scythe as they moved. All he could do was watch as it was pried from his stomach.

Then, finally, it came out with a pop, glowing all the while. A rush of blood followed it, and Steven sucked in an airless gasp, a choked sound, as he watched the gem land.

He remembered seeing Rose Quartz gems… at the human zoo… they were in bubbles… but he'd seen them. He saw them. They looked kind of like Amethyst's gem, small and round and thick. Looking down at the gem that had just come out of his stomach, Steven could say with absolute certainty that it wasn't a Rose Quartz. What he was looking at wasn't a Rose Quartz.

What had just come out of him wasn't a Rose Quartz.

"That's," he gasped. "Not-"

Melanite released him, and Steven crumbled to his knees, unable to support himself. The world went black for a second. Maybe longer than a second. Because by the time he opened them, Melanite had stepped around him and was reaching down to pick up the bloodstained gem.

Steven brought his arms close to himself, hugging his bleeding stomach, and choked out a quiet sob. It hurt. He could feel it. He could feel the _absence_. He could feel the blood. But the pain…

The pain was like nothing… and _everything_ he'd ever felt before, all combined into one.

"That's not," he sobbed again, tears welling up and streaming down his face as he held himself. He looked back up, vision darkening again for a second. "That's not… that's not… that's not…" He didn't know what else to say, he didn't know what else he could say. All he could do was stare at the gem in Melanite's hands, as she inspected it silently. There was no surprise in her gaze, only amusement. Steven didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do. He just stared. Because that gem wasn't a Rose Quartz. That gem had never been a Rose Quartz.

Melanite caught his gaze and smiled. His scythe diminished from her hand, replaced in an instant with her own, and she lifted it up and hefted it over her shoulder with a soft chuckle. She turned away from him, carelessly, and held the gem up for someone to see. Steven couldn't see who. He could only see her. "Homeworld, rebels," she called out, lowering the gem once more. "Why don't we all give a round of applause to the wonderful, radiant, _exquisite_ Pink Diamond?"

She dropped the gem, letting it roll to a stop in front of her. Steven dropped his gaze to it, head whirling dangerously for a moment. His vision darkened, blacking out again, and he wavered.

By the time he could see again, Melanite was swinging her scythe down.

It connected with his gem with a deafening _crack_ , and it split into two halves.

Steven fell forward at the same time, crashing to the floor, and everything went black.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end of 'I Am Steven Universe'...
> 
> It's been a pretty wild ride, hasn't it? Don't worry, though, it's far from over.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I know I certainly enjoyed writing it XD
> 
> Once again, I'd like to take a moment to think you all for reading! We definitely wouldn't have been able to do all this without all your support. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as we've enjoyed creating it XD And I hope you're going to like what we have in store for the Crystal Gems and Team Renegade next.
> 
> After all... we've only just begun.

_Steven couldn't… feel anything._

_Surrounded in darkness, a seemingly endless void of absolutely nothing, he couldn't see or hear and he wasn't even completely sure he… existed. Right then, he almost didn't. And yet there was something, almost like a tether, keeping him tied down and unable to float away through the darkness completely. Everything was a contradiction right then; he felt heavy, like his bones were weighing him down. And yet he felt light, like if he lifted even one foot off the ground, he would take off into the sky. He felt nothing emotionally, but there was a… sensation in the pit of his stomach, something cold and sticky and toxic and uncomfortable. Physically, he was lost; pain exploded like fireworks through his stomach, something was definitely wrong there. The rest of him ached like never before. He felt like something was crushing him. Like someone had just grabbed him and started squeezing, crushing his entire body in on itself. And yet somehow he felt like there was just… nothing there at the same time. No 'him'. No body to crush at all._

_The only thing he did feel for certain was tired. A constant cloud of exhaustion hung over him, and he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and sink back into the darkness. Maybe even let himself float off through it forever, completely directionless. The pain he felt was excruciating and yet it was nothing, because he was nothing, because he was… he was…_

" _Dying," a familiar voice murmured from his left, and he dared to look toward it, surprised. He didn't recognize the person sitting beside him, but she was beautiful. Dark blue hair dusted across light blue skin, stirring as if moved by a gentle breeze. He didn't feel anything, though. Whatever he felt physically, the pain rolling through his body, it came from something deep inside of him. Outwardly, he felt nothing. Emotionally, he felt nothing - and yet he felt like maybe he should, as he gazed at the person sitting beside him. She didn't look at him, a peculiar, wistful look on her face as she stared through the darkness, her mouth set in a neutral line._

_He waited for her to clarify. She didn't. Regarding her for a moment, Steven finally felt a twinge of curiosity stir in his chest, maybe even a little bit of confusion, as he mulled that over. "Dying," he echoed, the word feeling strange, sounding strange. His voice sounded so far away to him. He looked ahead again, gazing toward the endless stretch of darkness in front of him. Was this what dying felt like, then? Everything and nothing at the same time? It was a… strange feeling._

" _Isn't it?" The blue person commented. Steven looked back over at her again, silent. "They say your life flashes before your eyes… it doesn't. That'd actually be a mercy compared to all this."_

_Steven stared at her for a moment. "I don't…"_

" _I know, Steven." She smirked, finally glancing at him. "That's the point." She heaved a gentle sigh, looking away from him again, while Steven furrowed his eyebrows. Another burst of pain trickled up his spine, but it felt oddly distant. Like an ache, but sharper than that. It was… weird._

" _Oh," she added, and huffed out a laugh. The sound was musical. "Yeah. It's gone."_

_She sounded so amused, like she was telling him a joke. Steven didn't really get it. But her smile was infectious, and her laughter struck something deep inside of him. It sounded like the ocean, waves lapping against the beach. It was calming and gentle, and so warm, and loving. It only occurred to him to ask what she was talking about a few minutes later, just standing in silence in the darkness, but she was speaking before he had the chance to open his mouth. "You know, it's kind of nice here. Cold, and empty, and… numb." She paused, and hummed. "Heh, it's funny, isn't it, Steven? As much as it hurts, who knew dying could be so… peaceful?"_

_Steven blinked, frowning at the darkness for a moment, then looked over at her with a somewhat quizzical expression. "You're dead." It wasn't a question. It hit him all at once, all of a sudden, who he was looking at - he remembered, and yet he still felt… nothing. None of the grief or guilt he knew he probably should have felt. None of the horribly complicated emotions he'd felt for so long just thinking her name. He felt nothing but curiosity, confusion and… fear._

_Lapis Lazuli smiled, and sighed, and finally turned her head to look up at him fully. "Yeah."_

" _You're not real," Steven realized, genuinely bewildered now. "You can't be… real… can you?"_

" _I don't know." Lapis gazed at him for a moment, an unreadable expression replacing the somewhat wistful look that had been written there moments before. "This is your nightmare."_

" _Nightmare." Steven frowned again, eyebrows knitting together as he tried to make sense of the situation. He narrowed his eyes at her, silent for a moment, then finally tore his gaze away again to look around - only to draw his gaze back to her immediately when the blue gem suddenly shifted her feet underneath her to heave herself gracefully into a standing position, keeping her hands lifted up into the air at her sides. She walked past him, moving through the darkness. He didn't say anything as he stared at her retreating back, still too confused by what was going on - but then he paused, and stared again, and tilted his head faintly to the side upon realizing the gem that usually rested on her back, between where her shoulder blades would be, was gone._

_He gazed at the empty space for a moment as she stopped, unsettled._

" _Lapis…" She turned her head toward him when he spoke, but she didn't quite turn around to face him yet. Steven furrowed his eyebrows, trying to move forward, but his body wouldn't let him. He didn't understand. He couldn't move. The unsettled feeling grew a little stronger, that coldness in the pit of his stomach that wouldn't go away, until he suddenly felt like he'd been dunked head first into a freezing river. He shivered, shuddering through the painful sensations, and unconsciously curled in on himself a little. He wasn't sure how he did that, actually, since he remained standing upright - but he could feel his body move anyway, he could feel himself curling up like he was actually_ _ **doing**_ _it, even though he wasn't… he wasn't doing anything now._

" _Lapis," he tried again through gritted teeth, shuddering through another rush of the freezing cold_ _ **whatever**_ _it was coursing through his veins right then, and breathed, "your gem is gone."_

_She giggled, and sighed. "So's yours."_

" _Mine?" Steven gave her a long, bewildered stare, then dropped his gaze._

_Blood pooled at his feet. So much of it that it sloshed against his flip flops, soaking into the bottoms of his feet. Steven stood frozen, unable to move, only able to watch with wide eyes as the blood continued to pour from his stomach, rushing out in a seemingly endless stream. He actually couldn't help but wonder how he'd failed to notice that - how could anyone fail to notice something like this? Fail to react? Fail to feel it, even? Now he could feel it against his legs, sticking to him. Now he understood why he couldn't lift his foot to take a step toward Lapis. Now he understood that he was stuck to the floor, his own blood keeping him glued firmly in place._

_He looked at the space his gem used to be, the blood rushing out of it, and frowned._

" _Oh," he said quietly. That wasn't good._

_Lapis laughed, soft and short, then turned to face him again. Her expression was unreadable; slowly, he managed to lift his gaze from the blood pooling around him, terror flickering like wildfire through his chest. Her gentle, intent gaze calmed him the slightest bit - and with a pang, he realized once again exactly who was standing in front of him, and finally, a rush of pain flushed through him that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was… well, dying._

" _Lapis," he breathed, raising a hand toward her._

 _His friend smiled widely at him, unmoving. Another gentle breeze that Steven couldn't feel blew her hair back, dress rippling as she walked toward him, and he'd have given anything to_ _**move.** _

" _You need to wake up, Steven," she told him, leaning down a little and lifting a hand to press her finger against his nose lightly. Tears welled up in his eyes almost at once, the sudden onset of emotions catching him far too off guard to be able to stifle them. His jaw trembled as he worked it, mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of something to say. "You still need them." She lifted her other hand, her palm sliding gently against his left cheek, brushing across the scar that resided there. Steven pressed his head a little closer, a desperate attempt to just be close to her, and the blue gem raised her eyebrows and huffed out a quiet laugh as she shook her head._

" _Don't go," he begged, lifting his bloodied fingers to hers. Lapis looked down for a moment, turning her hand to take his own gently. The touch felt so real, so cold. He breathed in sharply, startled by the feeling, then shook his head. "Stars, no… please, please, don't go. You can't…"_

_Lapis shook her head and smiled, almost bitterly, at him. "Well, one of us has to."_

" _Pl-" The word cut off with a soft sob, tears blurring his vision for a moment. "No… I can't…"_

" _You can," Lapis replied. "You have to."_

_Steven shook his head, speechless for a moment. "... I don't want to."_

" _You don't mean that."_

" _I-" Whatever he was about to say cut off with a sharp burst of air, an unsteady, breathless sob, and Steven felt himself curl up a little tighter without his permission, felt his body tense and spasm through a rush of pain that he felt only distantly, somewhere deep inside of him, somewhere too far away to reach him completely. His face scrunched up reflexively in response to it, eyes squeezing shut tight, but he struggled to force them open again when Lapis suddenly tore her hand away from his own, pulling back and stepping away from him. He jerked forward a little, attempting to follow her, but he found himself completely rooted to the ground still, trapped._

" _You don't mean that," she repeated, a little firmer. More tears rushed to his eyes; he blinked them away furiously, chest shuddering as he inhaled. "You want to live, Steven. You have to."_

" _I don't-" His throat clenched shut tight for a second, effectively silencing him as he struggled to take another breath. It came out in a quiet, loose sob, and he shook his head furiously at her as pain and desperation quickly morphed into anger. "You-_ _ **you**_ _had to-! You_ _ **should**_ _have lived!"_

_Lapis only shrugged, a distant look flickering across her face. "Maybe."_

" _It's not," he started and stopped, anger sputtering out as quickly as it had come. "It's not…"_

_Lapis raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Life isn't fair. What makes you think death would be?" Steven shook his head a little, shoulders shuddering furiously as his body shook, struggling to compose himself again, to calm down enough to think rationally through the grief clouding his mind. Lapis tilted her head, watching him for a moment, then let out a quiet sigh and looked away. "Don't be stupid, Steven. We both know you don't want to die. You're not ready to die."_

_He didn't want to. But he didn't want her to_ _**leave** _ _._

" _I've already left," Lapis reminded him, and he flinched. "I've_ _ **been**_ _gone."_

_Steven shook his head furiously, but he couldn't ignore the pain now. Pounding harder and stronger, and much more frequently; once again, he could feel his body curling in on itself even though he wasn't moving from where he stood now. He could feel… something against his stomach, pressing down where his gem could be. Another rush of pain caused his body to shudder, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he jerked his shoulders forward and curled the top half of his body inwards, wrapping his arms around himself reflexively and sucking in a deep, shuddering breath as he shook his head again. "I don't want to… I don't want to… I…"_

" _Goodbye, Steven," Lapis murmured, and Steven clenched his teeth as he looked up at her, tears blurring his vision once again. She stepped back, offering a smile. "Take care of her."_

" _Lapis-" Steven cut off with a strangled gasp, both from a sudden rush of pain and because Lapis had turned away, arms wrapped around herself, and was walking back toward the darkness. He jerked a little, trying to rock forward on his feet to get to her, but he couldn't move. "Nononono- Lapis- Lapis wait, wait,_ _ **wait**_ _-!"_

" _You have to wake up," she called over her shoulder. "Wake up, Steven."_

* * *

"-ven-"

Pain, pain, _pain._

Steven found himself choking as he came to, the stench and taste of blood briefly stifling all of his other senses. He gagged a little, tasting the red liquid against his lips, and made an immediate effort to spit it out. Another rush followed it almost immediately, a strong, bitter, copper-y taste; he inhaled, choking and coughing again, and forced himself to open his eyes. He didn't recognize where he was at first. The only thing he could catch a glimpse of through his blurry vision was something yellow; something was wrapped around him, pressing hard against his stomach - and, oh, stars, his stomach _hurt_. He writhed a little at the realization, back arching slightly against whatever was holding him, and everything around him spun dangerously for a second as he moved; he got the feeling he was going to fall over, but he wasn't even standing.

The grip around him tightened. It felt like fingers curling around his body, hands cupped around him on both sides… he blinked a few times, trying in vain to clear his vision. The world spun again, and another jolt of pain wrenched a groan from his lips as he threw his head back. Fear clenched his stomach tight, squeezing at his throat as he tried to inhale, blood bubbling to his lips. And he almost succumbed right then and there, completely willing to collapse backwards against whatever was holding him and let the darkness carry him away, back to Lapis… back to-

Sound returned before sight did, but it didn't make anything clearer. If anything, it caused him to shrink back a little. He heard screaming, weapons clashing, gems being poofed. He heard crying, someone was crying. He heard Yellow Diamond screaming over it all for everyone to calm down - she sounded closer than anyone else. Steven scrunched his face up, trembling violently, then forced himself to pry his eyes open again. He lifted his blurry gaze upwards, catching a glimpse of the black sky above them… Homeworld. He'd been on Homeworld. He was still on Homeworld. He was _dying_ on Homeworld. Because Melanite… Melanite had…

Steven grunted, stomach clenching through another rush of pain and nausea, and stifled another gag as he forced himself to turn his head toward where the screams were coming from.

Finally, sight hit him full force, and all he could do was stare.

The battlefield was in chaos, but not nearly like it had been before. Now it was dirty and desperate, and it was clear who was losing. The rebels looked terrified, either bowing before the Homeworld gems, submitting completely, or trying to flee. But what really struck him was that everybody was crying; every gem in sight had tears streaming down their faces. His gaze rolled desperately in search of his friends, his family - were they okay? Had they seen what happened? - and his eyes found Blue Diamond instead. She was collapsed on her knees, face buried into her hands, shoulders shaking with loud sobs. Steven stared for a moment, too stunned and _much_ too pained to open his mouth, then slowly swept his gaze away again.

He looked down. Two giant, yellow hands had wrapped themselves around him, and he knew almost immediately who they belonged to. His mouth went dry for a second, body trembling, and twisted his head around to look up. Yellow Diamond was holding him in her hands, which were folded carefully against her chest, still screaming for everyone to calm down. But she stopped, mouth half-open, and two pinprick diamond pupils snapped back down to him at once.

Relief flashed across her face, but her grip didn't loosen. "Thank the stars…"

Steven stared at her for a moment, then went rigid.

Another rush of pain flooded his abdomen, provoking a sharp scream from his lips, and he jerked his head back again, eyes squeezing shut. When the pain subsided enough for him to be able to open them again, prying them open one after the other, everything looked… different.

It took him a second to realize what had changed. Through one eye, he was seeing the battlefield up… close. Really close, actually. Rebels and Homeworld gems flew past him in blurs of color, none of them getting close enough to touch. He saw Melanite's scythe, clenched firmly in a bright, glowing, pink hand. And in the other one, held carefully in front of him, he saw Melanite's gem. It had been split into two, _just like mine… just like… ours…_ his thoughts spun for a second, abruptly cutting out, and Steven flinched, blinked, and opened his eyes again to see that whatever had just happened was gone, and he was once again seeing clearly out of both of his own eyes. His chest heaved, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

"STEVEN!"

He jolted sharply, huffing out an instinctive whimper from the pain, and rolled his head to the side to look down. Below him, the gems were rushing through the battlefield, fighting past rebels to get to them. Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl had tears streaming down their faces, horrified looks in their eyes; Bismuth was a little ways away behind them, unmoving staring ahead of her in shock. Steven couldn't see any of the others; all he could see was those four right then.

It was Peridot who reached Steven first. She flew up to him on her trash can lid, and met him with a panicked, desperate look on her face, but both of her eyes were as dry as could be.

"Thank the stars you're okay," she breathed. "You won't believe what-"

She cut off, seeing Steven had completely lost his focus on her. His gaze had trailed back down to the battlefield, to where the other gems were, only to snap back up to Bismuth. She was still just staring ahead of her; if gems could pale somehow, Steven was sure she'd be practically Pearl's shade of white at that point. He shifted, letting out a scream through clenched teeth as he did, and forced his gaze downwards even further, trying to see what she was looking at. Something was happening, something he couldn't see. He didn't like that. What was going _on?_

He scanned the battlefield again and again, shaking, before it finally occurred to him.

"Where," he gasped, chest heaving, "where- where's m-" Given the pain in his stomach, he could assume his gem definitely wasn't there. His heart sank for a second, plunged into ice, and a few tears managed to brew in his eyes for a second before he forced himself to clear them.

Peridot looked up at Yellow Diamond, wide-eyed.

Yellow Diamond hesitated, her grip around Steven firm as ever, then tilted her hands downwards a little. He choked out a quiet gasp as he tilted with them, but it didn't take long for his gaze to focus on what had previously been hidden from his sight moments before, and it didn't take much longer after that for every muscle in his body to seize up almost at once.

Standing where he had been standing, with Melanite's scythe in one hand and the two broken halves of her gem in the other, stood a glowing pink figure. At first glance, he looked almost exactly like… _him._ His hair was a little curlier, and a little shorter, and he was wearing a pink shirt with a white star stamped on the front, that was way too short for him, and he didn't have the scars Steven did, not the one on his face or any others; but the pink gem was practically his spitting image. That sight alone was enough to make his mouth run dry, but when his gaze lowered to stare at the pink figure's stomach, he felt like he was going to pass out again. The world tilted and spun once more, throwing him frighteningly off balance despite him not even being _balanced_ in the first place, as his gaze fell onto his own gemstone, embedded in his pink clone's stomach exactly how it used to be embedded into his own.

A long, thin crack ran down the center, right down the middle of the gem itself. Even from a distance, it was noticeable enough to make Steven's stomach churn, rolling with nausea. It was like a mockery of what it used to be, two pieces that fit together perfectly like some sort of puzzle, when it should have never been split apart to begin with. He wondered if it hurt; he wondered if having it hurt worse than the absence of it. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out…

His pink clone blinked suddenly, abruptly coming to life from whatever trance he seemed to be in, and snapped his gaze up to them. Two pink, pinprick pupils met Steven's gaze, wide eyes filled with unshed tears. He blinked again, only once, and they fell, and more rose up at once.

Steven stared at him, mouth half-open. He tilted his shoulders forward, daring to lift his head.

He needed it.

He needed him.

His pink clone looked up at him for a long moment, an emotionless expression written across his face despite the tears in his eyes, then lowered his gaze back to the gem in his hand. It didn't take long for his fingers to close around it, his hand clenching around the gemstone so quickly Steven actually flinched a little in surprise. He couldn't hear the sound of it shattering from where he was, but for a moment, he almost imagined that he could. But 'shattering' alone didn't seem to be good enough; his pink clone clenched his hand tighter and tighter around the gem until, by the time he opened his hand again, only a small trickle of dust fell from his fingers. The scythe flickered and vanished from his other hand immediately.

Steven felt oddly cold, but not with fear. Not guilt, or grief, or anger, either. He felt nothing in response to what his pink clone had just done - but he felt _everything_ toward the clone himself.

"Steven?" Peridot reached for him. Steven didn't move.

"I need-" His words stuttered out for a second, voice failing, "I- I need it- I need it-" He stopped cold when his pink clone suddenly stepped forward, finally _moving_ ; he held his breath, which wasn't really hard to do since breathing hurt anyway, as the pink gem slowly crossed forward, only to stop again. He tensed, looking up at them, narrowed eyes calculating - and then jumped.

He jumped right up to them, landing on the side of Yellow Diamond's hand, right in front of Steven, and he slowly lifted his gaze to the pink gem in front of him, pupils shrinking slightly. His pink clone stared back down at him, his expression unreadable, then slowly reached out a hand.

Steven shifted, pain flushing through his body at once, but he ignored it in favor of reaching back up to press his fingers against his pink clone's. They were cold. "... Rose?" He managed, searching the pink gem's face hesitantly. He merely blinked back at him, pinprick pupils widening a bit, then furrowed his eyebrows. An almost quizzical expression replaced the blank one that had been there before - and yet it returned almost immediately, a little too quickly.

"No," he replied, monotonous, a hollow echo of Steven's own voice.

Steven's chest shuddered as he inhaled, eyes darting down to the gemstone. "Pink?"

The reply was instant. "No."

"Then…" Steven swallowed, wincing a little at the taste of his own blood, and snapped his gaze back up. His pink clone leaned down slightly, and Yellow Diamond shifted her hands as much as she could without quite letting go of Steven completely so that the pink gem could reach him better. He curled his fingers with Steven's, almost absently, and reached his other hand out to touch his face. Steven let him, eyes widening slightly despite himself as his pink clone made contact. His fingers brushed against his cheek, against the tears that Steven hadn't even realized were still coursing down his face. Another rush of them blurred his vision far too suddenly, a rush of pain flushing through him that had nothing to do with his stomach this time.

His pink clone frowned, not moving away, and met his gaze silently for a moment. Another tear escaped, rolling down his cheek, but he didn't seem to notice. Steven found himself reaching up, other hand searching uselessly for a moment, and the gem leaned down a little further so that Steven's pale, shaking hand could rest against the side of his face. His face felt warmer than the rest of him, such a stark contrast to how his hands felt, and Steven froze for a second.

He didn't know how he knew it, but as he gazed at the gem in front of him, the realization hit him all at once; he wasn't Rose, he wasn't Pink, but he most certainly wasn't Steven, either.

Steven breathed in, breath hitching slightly. "Who…?"

"Me," his pink clone murmured. "I am me." He didn't wait for a response, didn't wait for those words to register before he started glowing. Dimly at first, and then brighter and stronger than Steven had expected. He flinched a little, but he didn't pull his hands away. From the corner of his eye, he saw Peridot move back a little; distantly, he heard the gems still screaming his name. But nothing mattered more to him right then than the gem in front of him, as his pink clone pressed forward a little more, moving his hands away from Steven's face and hand in order to wrap both of his arms around him instead. He found himself reacting to the embrace as if by pure instinct, arms wrapping tightly around the pink clone in response. His eyes closed tightly, squeezing shut without his own permission, as the glow spread to envelope them both.

The pain vanished, flickering and stuttering out, and the relief that flushed through him was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Yellow Diamond's grip loosened a little as the hybrid blinked his eyes open, arms wrapped tightly around himself now. His pink clone was gone - but, no, not gone. He was still there. They were together now, just like they had, unknowingly, always been.

And they were okay. And _he_ was okay.

Steven held himself, almost afraid he might fall apart again, and looked down. Yellow Diamond pulled one hand back, somewhat hesitantly; Steven's gem was still glowing, but… only one half. The right half continued to glow, pulsing brightly for a moment, before it dimmed back to normal, resting perfectly against the other half. Steven lowered his hand to touch it, fingers trembling as they brushed against the cold gemstone, feeling the crack that split it in half down the center. He didn't know how he was still alive, how he had somehow survived that… how his pink clone had even been able to form under those conditions, how the two halves of his gem had somehow managed to fuse themselves together again to form _him_. He didn't know. He didn't understand.

The gems were still yelling for him. Steven realized a little too late how far away they were, how high up from the ground he was, how terrified they must be, they didn't know he was okay.

"Steven?" Peridot stared at him, an almost terrified expression on her face now.

"Are you alright?" Yellow Diamond shifted her hand slightly.

Steven paused for a moment, taking another look around. Blue Diamond was still crying. The fighting seemed to have calmed a little, but only because most of the rebels had fled and whoever hadn't had been quickly subdued by the Homeworld soldiers. Melanite was dead. It was over. The hybrid stared for a moment, gazing out at the broken planet, then slowly heaved himself up to his feet. He trembled a little as he moved, stepping across Yellow Diamond's hand and peering down toward the ground, where Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl were currently trying to get up to where they were, tears still streaming down their faces. Blue was still crying…

… he wasn't crying. He had his gem, but he wasn't crying. Looking back up at Peridot, he realized once again - or maybe for the first time, he actually didn't know now - that she wasn't either. Their eyes were dry. Steven maybe had a few dried tears still on his cheeks, but they certainly hadn't been prompted by Blue Diamond's powers, and his eyes were completely clear.

He struggled to think of what that meant for a second, before another shout from below tore his thoughts away. He shook his head, sparing Yellow Diamond a grateful smile, and jumped down. His floating powers slowed his fall - maybe not as much as he would have hoped - but it didn't stop Peridot from letting out a shriek and diving down to catch him by the arms. He froze for a second, feeling her pull him back against her, and went rigid in her arms as she steadied him against the trash can lid. "Be careful," she scolded, sounding horrified. "We don't know if your powers are working right. You can't survive all of _that_ only to fall to your death," she muttered.

Steven felt the corners of his lips tug upwards without his permission, sparing the green gem a tired smile. His mind flashed back to the interaction with Lapis, to some of her parting words. _Take care of her._ Yeah, Steven would take care of her… they would take care of each other.

He peered down at the gems as Peridot lowered them to the ground, stepping off of the lid before she'd completely stopped, and immediately ran forward to where the gems were.

"Steven!" Pearl threw herself forward to meet him, and he crashed into her without hesitation, throwing his arms around her and holding on as tight as he could. He felt her arms wrap around him just as strongly in response as she collapsed to her knees in front of him, forcing him to lower himself down just enough to be able to bury his face into her shoulder. She clung to him for a few seconds, sobbing into his shirt, then curled her fingers against his shoulders and pushed him back a little, looking him over frantically. "St- stars, I- oh, _Steven_ I'm so sorry we-"

"We were trying to get to you," Amethyst's voice shook violently as she pressed herself forward beside Pearl, reaching out for the hybrid. Garnet was quick to follow; Steven looked at her worriedly for a moment, watching her form flicker violently a few times as she destabilized, but each time she managed to pull herself back together at the last second before she could split.

"Are you okay?" She rested a hand on his head, crouching down. "Is your gem-?"

"Steven's," Steven started, and blinked, glancing away. "I… _we…_ "

He stared past them for a moment, somewhat blankly, then nodded. "I'm… okay." He looked down at his gem while Pearl's hands cupped his face, fingers trembling against his skin.

"I'm _so sorry,_ " she whispered, sobbing as he lifted his gaze back to hers. More tears streamed down her face, streaking down violently one after the other. He wondered how much of that was Blue Diamond's influence, and how much of it were her own. He also wondered, just for a second, why he wasn't crying. He felt like he was going to; his chest and stomach twisted violently as he gazed back at the pale gem, eyes stinging with the threat of tears, but none rose. "I'm so sorry, St- Steven, I- I wanted to tell you f- for _so long_ , I-"

Steven blinked, taken aback. Did she think he was upset with her? Knowing what he did about the Diamond seal… Steven wasn't sure what to feel right then, actually. The realization hit him again for the first time since he'd seen the gem lying on the ground in front of him that everything he'd known up until then had been a _lie_. Rose had never been _Rose Quartz_. Pink Diamond had never been 'shattered'. They were the same gem; they always had been. And he wasn't sure how to feel about that. He didn't even know what he was feeling about it right then. He was feeling a lot of things - so many things they almost cancelled each other out. There was shock, and confusion, and pain and fear, but also relief, relief that he was alive, he was okay…

There was no anger. Not right then.

"It's okay," the hybrid managed, lifting a hand to one of hers, resting against his face. "... I…"

"Pink," a familiar voice cut him off, harsh sobs growing louder. Steven tensed for a second, pupils shrinking as he stared at Pearl. The pale gem had gone rigid at once; Amethyst had tensed completely beside her, head whirling around to look over her shoulder. Garnet stayed still, but her hands clenched into fists at her sides, and her lips had curled back, teeth bared.

Steven breathed in sharply and lifted his gaze as Peridot came forward beside him. His eyes rested on Blue Diamond, making her way over to them now with tears flowing down her face; the other gems started crying harder when she approached, more tears rushing down their cheeks, and yet somehow it didn't make their angry expressions any less terrifying. The only two who remained completely dry-eyed were Steven and Peridot; beside him, the green gem had fixed Blue Diamond with a glare that, if looks could kill, would have shattered her on sight.

"Pink-" Blue Diamond sobbed, covering her mouth. "Pink, _Pink, I'm so sorry-_ "

Steven stared at her for a moment, uncomprehending. "... sorry."

Sorry. She was _sorry._

Anger boiled in his gut, almost enough to completely rip him apart. He felt… he felt like he just _might_ fall apart, actually. He got that feeling deep in his gem, like he got whenever he and Stevonnie were close to splitting apart, like he was going to destabilize completely on the spot.

"Sorry," Peridot seethed, incredulous. "You're sorry? You piece of-"

"No…" Steven cut her off, meeting Blue Diamond's tearful gaze. He stared for a moment, silent, then narrowed his eyes, flicking his gaze across her face. "I want to hear what she has to say."

_("No! I want to hear what she has to say.")_

Blue Diamond stared at him, more tears brewing in her eyes, and Steven leaned his head back. She didn't say anything else after that; if anything, she seemed to clam up completely as she held his gaze. And then, finally, she looked away, heaving out another quiet sob, and dropped her head into her hands again, fingers digging into her hair. The hybrid continued to stare for a moment, eyes narrowed silently at the gem in front of him, then looked away. No, he felt nothing for her. No remorse, no guilt, no sympathy. As far as he was concerned, she could sit there and drown in her tears as much as she wanted. She could be as sorry and as guilty as she wanted.

He was, under no circumstances, obligated to forgive her for what she'd done.

He sank forward, melting into Pearl's arms as the pale gem reached for him again, sinking sideways against her. The others crowded around, wrapping their arms around him, and the hybrid rested his head sideways against Pearl's shoulder and gazed out across the battlefield. A flash of red caught his eye suddenly, almost quick enough that he might have missed it if he blinked, and then Berry was rushing toward them, with Lemon Lime and Candy in tow, and the others not far behind. Bismuth was following, seemingly finally shaken out of her trance.

He wondered if they had seen, but he only had to wonder for a second. His gaze caught Berry's, the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes almost nothing in comparison to the streams that were falling from the other gems', and he knew all at once that she, at least, had seen it happen.

"Steven!" Lars broke past them, speeding toward the hybrid. "Are-"

His voice muffled all of a sudden, and all Steven could see was white.

The hybrid jerked back, slamming hard against something behind him, and he felt it moving under him as he fell back. His body seized up, every muscle pulling taut with fear, taking a few seconds to recognize the feeling of a bubble. But this wasn't like _his_ bubble; he couldn't see through it. Everything was white on all sides, like the room he'd been forced into the first time he'd arrived on Homeworld. He could feel it moving, but he couldn't see or hear anything.

Then it popped, depositing him unceremoniously on the floor, and a sudden, sharp pain flushed through his back as he landed, only to fizzle out again a few seconds later, flickering and fading.

He breathed in, chest heaving, and looked up.

In front of him, a tall white figure stood on a platform. She was glowing too brightly at first for him to be able to make out any features, but when it faded, ever so slowly, the dread that settled in the pit of his stomach was enough to almost make him throw up. He clasped a hand over his mouth to muffle a gasp, flicking his eyes up to the gem that rested on her forehead, still glowing. The Diamond that rested there glittered brightly, reflecting a light that wasn't there; Steven stared at it for a moment, absolutely transfixed, then slowly trailed his gaze down the rest of her face until his eyes met a pair of cold, white diamond eyes, black lips curled in a thin smile.

White Diamond looked down at him, a delighted expression written across her face that sent chills down his spine, one after the other, until he found himself shaking under her sharp gaze.

"Well, Starlight…" Her fingers twitched, black nails curling against her palms.

Steven's breathing caught, chest going still.

“Game over.” White Diamond pulled her lips into a grin, eyebrows raising, and crooned, "looks like I won."


End file.
